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Acquired Situational Narcissism

Uploaded 8/23/2010, approx. 2 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Can pathological malignant narcissism be acquired? Can it be learned? Can it be provoked by certain well-defined situations?

Robert B. Millman is a professor of psychiatry at New York Hospital & Cornell Medical School, and he thinks the answer is yes. He proposes to reverse the accepted chronology according to him.

Pathological narcissism can be induced in adulthood by celebrity, wealth and fame. The victims of what he calls acquired situational narcissism are billionaire tycoons, movie stars, renowned authors, politicians and other authority figures. They develop grandiose fantasies, they lose their erstwhile ability to empathize, they react with rage to slides both real and imagined, and in general they act like textbook narcissists.

But is the occurrence of acquired situational narcissism inevitable? Is it universal? Or are only certain celebrities prone to it? It is likely that acquired situational narcissism is merely an amplification and manifestation of earlier narcissistic conduct, traits, style and tendencies?

Narcissists with acquired situational narcissism may have already had a narcissistic personality and have acquired it long before it erupted. Being famous, powerful or rich, only legitimized and conferred immunity from social sanction on the unbridled expression of a pre-existing narcissistic disorder.

Indeed, narcissists tend to gravitate to specific professions and settings which guarantee them access to fame, celebrity, power and wealth. We are likely to find narcissists in clusters in certain professions.

As Meman correctly notes, the celebrity's life is abnormal. The adulation is often justified and plentiful. The feedback is biased and filtered. Criticism is muted and belated.

Social control is either lacking or excessive and vitriolic. Such vicissitudinal existence is not conducive to mental health, even in the most balanced person, let alone in a person with narcissistic personality disorder.

The confluence of a person's narcissistic predisposition gives rise to acquired situational narcissism. Acquired situational narcissism borrows elements from both a classic narcissistic personality disorder, which is ingrained or pervasive, and from transient or reactive narcissism, first proposed by Lisa Ronenstam in 1996.

Celebrities are therefore unlikely to heal once their fame or wealth or might are gone. Instead, their basic narcissism merely changes form, continues elevated, as insidious as ever, but modified by life's ups and downs.

In a way, all narcissistic disturbances are acquired. Patients acquire their pathological narcissism from abusive or overbearing parents, from peers, and from role models. Narcissism is a defense mechanism designed to fend off hurt and danger brought on by circumstances.

One of these circumstances is celebrity, the fame. When the circumstances are beyond a person's control, whether they are positive or negative, they might provoke a narcissistic defense, and in the extreme case narcissistic personality disorder, full-fledged, pernicious, and destructive.

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Doormat Covert Narcissist Turns Primary Psychopath

Covert narcissists can transform into primary psychopaths or, less frequently, classic narcissists when faced with stress, humiliation, or rejection, due to their inability to extract narcissistic supply from their environment. They often experience life as a series of losses and may adopt a people-pleasing persona or become passive-aggressive, leading to a cycle of abuse and dysfunction in their relationships. When covert narcissists attempt to assert themselves, they may imitate primary psychopaths, creating fictional identities to navigate their interactions, but ultimately remain disconnected from their true selves. This disconnection results in a lack of genuine relationships, as others interact with the false personas rather than the covert narcissist's authentic self.


Alcohol+Covert Narcissist=Antisocial Grandiose Narcissist

Covert narcissists often use alcohol as a means to transform their self-perception from feelings of inadequacy to a grandiose sense of self, shedding their modesty and inhibitions. Alcohol alters their empathy, making them less caring towards loved ones while enhancing their connection with strangers, leading to reckless behaviors and impulsive decisions. This disinhibition can result in a dangerous shift towards psychopathic traits, as the alcohol amplifies their latent narcissism and aggression. Ultimately, the cycle of drinking leads to feelings of guilt and shame once sober, reinforcing their self-loathing and dependence on alcohol to escape their emotional turmoil.


Collapsed Covert Narcissist: Dissonances, Indifference, No Boundaries

All narcissists oscillate between overt and covert states, with no type constancy, reacting to life circumstances and narcissistic injuries. The concept of a "collapsed covert narcissist" is introduced, where classic narcissists can temporarily adopt covert traits, leading to a complex interplay of behaviors and emotional states. This dynamic is further complicated by the narcissist's delusionality and cognitive dissonance, which distorts their perception of relationships and self-worth. Ultimately, it is rational for individuals to prefer relationships with strangers over known narcissists, as the latter guarantees emotional abuse and instability.


Narcissist: Is He or Isn't He?

Narcissism is a spectrum of behaviors, from healthy to pathological, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual specifies nine diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A malignant narcissist is someone who has NPD and wreaks havoc on themselves and their surroundings. They feel grandiose and self-important, exaggerate accomplishments, and demand recognition as superior without commensurate achievements. They require excessive admiration, adulation, attention, and affirmation, and are interpersonally exploitative, devoid of empathy, and constantly envious of others.


Your Empathy as Narcissistic Injury: Narcissist Never Learns, No Insight

Narcissists reject empathy and intimacy because it challenges their grandiosity, and they become paranoid and aggressive when someone tries to be intimate with them. Narcissists lack empathy and access to positive emotions, leading to a truncated version of empathy called "cold empathy." Narcissists are self-aware but lack the incentive to get rid of their narcissism, and therapy is more focused on accommodating the needs of the narcissist's nearest and dearest. Cold Therapy is experimental and limited, as it removes the false self but does not develop empathy or improve the narcissist's interpersonal relationships.


Narcissist's Cycles of Ups and Downs

Narcissists experience cyclical phases of euphoria and dysphoria, characterized by alternating periods of hyperactivity and lethargy, driven by external triggers rather than internal biochemical changes. These cycles, which differ from bipolar disorder, are influenced by the availability of narcissistic supply, leading to manic episodes filled with creativity and social engagement, followed by depressive phases marked by withdrawal and despair. To manage these fluctuations, narcissists engage in a process of hibernation to regenerate energy and strategize for acquiring narcissistic supply, often relying on secondary sources for validation during low periods. Ultimately, the narcissist's life is a tumultuous journey between these mini-cycles, reflecting their dependence on external validation and the instability of their self-esteem.


Covert Psychopath

The covert psychopath is a complex personality that combines traits of both primary and secondary psychopathy, characterized by a false sense of grandiosity and entitlement, often masking deep-seated feelings of failure and insecurity. This individual typically presents a facade of normality and morality, engaging in manipulative behaviors while maintaining a stable internal world regulated by daydreaming and goal-setting. Relationships are shallow and marked by hypervigilance, as the covert psychopath struggles with intimacy and vulnerability, leading to a dismissive avoidant attachment style. Despite their potential for deep knowledge and commitment to self-assigned tasks, their overall demeanor is one of indolence and entitlement, resulting in a life filled with frustration and unfulfilled aspirations.


Corporate Narcissists and Fraud

Perpetrators of financial frauds in the United States have been diagnosed as malignant, pathological narcissists. Narcissists are driven by the need to maintain a grandiose self-image and seek attention to validate their self-worth. This leads them to engage in fraudulent activities to bridge the gap between their grandiose fantasies and reality. Pathological narcissism is pervasive and independent of culture and society, but its manifestation and experience depend on the particulars of societies and cultures.


Lonely, Schizoid Narcissist

Narcissistic personality disorder is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders, such as borderline, histrionic or antisocial psychopathic personality disorder. Narcissism is often also accompanied by substance abuse and other reckless and impulsive behaviors, and this we call dual diagnosis. There is one curious match, one logic-defying appearance or co-appearance of mental health disorders, narcissism, together with schizoid personality disorder. A minority of narcissists, therefore, choose the schizoid solution. They choose to disengage, to detach both emotionally and socially.


So, Is My Narcissist a Covert Narcissist? Nonsense vs. Scholarship

Covert narcissists are individuals who suffer from an in-depth sense of inferiority, have a marked propensity towards feeling ashamed, and are shy and fragile. They are unable to genuinely depend on others or trust them, suffer from chronic envy of others, and have a lack of regard for generational boundaries. Covert narcissists are not goal-orientated, have shallow vocational commitment, and are forgetful of details, especially names. Inverted narcissists are a subspecies of covert narcissism and are self-centered, sensitive, vulnerable, and defensive, sometimes hostile and paranoid.

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