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Vaknin Talks

Full transcripts of Sam Vaknin's videos

Male Victims Don’t Cry: Real Men=No Pain!

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconception that there are fewer male victims of abuse and trauma. He argues that men are equally as likely to be victims of narcissistic abuse and other forms of abuse as women, but they are victimized differently. Men are less likely to admit to being victimized and traumatized due to societal perceptions of weakness and vulnerability. There is an attribution error in society where women are seen as victims without blame, while men are often blamed for their abuse. This asymmetry makes it difficult for men to come forward and share their experiences of trauma and abuse.


Envy is Destructive Narcissism (Jealousy, Romantic Jealousy are NOT)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the destructive nature of envy, distinguishing it from jealousy and romantic jealousy. Envy is driven by shame, humiliation, and the idealization of the envied person, leading to a need for control and ultimately destruction of the envied object. Envy is linked to narcissism and aggression, and its resolution is the destruction of the envied object. Vaknin emphasizes the urgent need to address envy as a root cause of mental illness and societal conflicts.


Magnetic Narcissists: Pathological Charisma

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the charismatic magnetic narcissist, a type of narcissism that combines post-traumatic, reactive, and societal elements. He explains how the charismatic magnetic narcissist uses trauma, attention-seeking behavior, and conformity to societal norms to bond with and influence others. He also delves into the connection between narcissism and charisma, and how charisma can be compensatory for the narcissist's sense of absence. Additionally, he explores the group dynamics and practical outcomes of charisma, ultimately linking charisma to narcissism.


20 Ways to Provoke the Narcissist to Meltdown, Tantrum, Apoplexy

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how to infuriate a narcissist by using specific sentences that challenge their grandiose self-perception. He explains that statements like "I agree with you," "I won't do it," or "Do you need some help?" can trigger a narcissistic injury and lead to rage. Vaknin emphasizes that narcissists view themselves as unique and superior, and any suggestion of equality or criticism can enrage them. He also warns against trying to empathize or compliment a narcissist, as it may be perceived as an insult. Ultimately, Vaknin advises against engaging with narcissists, as their fragile egos make communication akin to navigating a minefield.


Jews Hated by Woke Left and Alt-right Alike (with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complex issues of anti-Semitism, the identity of being Jewish, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. He highlights the historical and ongoing challenges Jews face, both in Israel and the diaspora, and the varying experiences of Jews depending on their geographic upbringing. Vaknin also touches on the concept of Jewishness as both a racial/biological and cultural/religious identity. He criticizes the Israeli response to the October 7th attacks and suggests that Israel's actions are endangering Jews worldwide by fueling anti-Semitism. He calls for humility and compromise as the way forward for Israel, emphasizing that power does not gain respect, but compromise and respecting others does.


How to Cope with 3 Types of Narcissism (with Dr. Ahmed Fouad, Starts 05:30)

Professor Sam Vaknin discussed narcissism, its origins, and its impact on individuals and society. He emphasized that narcissism is a post-traumatic condition and a survival strategy, and that society rewards narcissistic behaviors. He also explained the special relationship between narcissists and borderlines, and the concept of interjection. In terms of treatment, he mentioned that no treatment modality has been effective with narcissism and proposed a therapy called "therapy" that involves retraumatization. He also provided strategies for dealing with narcissists and protecting children from their behavior. Finally, he expressed the need for peace and collaboration in the Middle East.


Isolophilia: Healthy Love of Solitude (Solophilia)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of "isophilia," which refers to the love of solitude as a lifestyle choice. He distinguishes isophilia from mental health issues such as depression, narcissism, and schizoid personality disorder. Isophilia is described as a healthy choice, rooted in the preference for solitude due to the perceived shortcomings of social interactions. However, society often misunderstands and imposes its expectations on isophiles, leading to defensive and dysfunctional behaviors. Despite the challenges, isophilia is presented as a legitimate and adaptive behavioral strategy.


Manipulative Histrionic Craves Attention: HPD Misconceptions Debunked (Literature Review)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses histrionic personality disorder, emphasizing its attention-seeking behaviors and exaggerated emotionality. He reviews recent studies that challenge traditional perceptions of the disorder, including its gender bias in diagnosis and its connection to other mental health issues such as eating disorders, sexual dysfunctions, and substance abuse. The lecture also explores the influence of adverse childhood experiences on histrionic personality traits and their association with impulsivity and alcohol use severity. Overall, the emerging picture of histrionic personality disorder suggests a complex interplay of power dynamics, emotional regulation, and attention-seeking behaviors.


Criminalize Narcissistic Abuse? (with Dr. Yana Greenberg, Be Honest Podcast)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissism, distinguishing between clinical narcissism and societal narcissism. He explains that narcissism can be defined in multiple ways, including as a mental illness, a social problem, or an organizing principle of society. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of criminalizing narcissistic abuse and provides practical advice on how to recognize and protect oneself from narcissistic behavior. He also discusses the covert narcissist and the potential for narcissistic behavior to worsen or change as individuals age.


Narcissist's Grievances vs. Real Victim's Complaints

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the difference between narcissists who claim to be victims and true victims. He explains that narcissists focus on external appearances and complain about losing status, reputation, and possessions, while true victims are inward-oriented and complain about the loss of personal identity, shattered inner peace, and broken dreams. He emphasizes that narcissists lack a rich internal life and their grievances are superficial, while real victims experience deep emotional and psychological damage. Additionally, he highlights that narcissists often present themselves as pure and angelic, denying any wrongdoing, while real victims recognize the interplay between the abuser and themselves and seek to restore their inner core.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
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