Background

Four Steps: Change Yourself to Change the World (with Assc Direct)

Uploaded 5/22/2021, approx. 4 minute read

My advice to people, especially those who are dealing with the hardships of having to accept this and especially deal with social media and how all this stuff is now, what would be your advice just to people, a way to move forward and understand the world that we live in, what it is, and to have more of an acceptance or a reality reference point to how to move at least with their lives?

Put all your efforts, all your energy into reestablishing meaningful long-term or at least regular and repetitive connections with living, breathing, sweating human beings.

What you have online, these are not human beings, these are avatars, these are representations, they are manipulated by real human beings, but they're not real.

Go back to reality and you go back to reality by saying good morning to your neighbor, by walking to the grocery store and chatting for a minute or two with a grocer, by climbing a bus and sitting next to someone and saying, how do you reconnect to the fabric, defy the symbolic and the abstract and the virtual and the digital and the imaginary, defy all of this, defy the fantasy, reconnect with reality and as you interact with other flesh and blood people, you will suddenly feel flesh and blood again, because right now none of us feels real.

We all feel depersonalized and derealized as though we are not inhabiting any reality and as though we don't exist.

Today, we experience partial existence, we suspect that we may not actually exist, maybe we are a figment in someone's imagination, it's very unhealthy.

When you connect with other people, their gaze, the fact that you are seen, responded to gives you reality, suddenly you exist again.

Start small, start small, put a target of five interactions a day, each one, two sentences, don't go big, don't be grandiose, two sentences, good morning, I love you though, that's all, walk on, move on, interact with people, gradually we'll discover the intoxicating effect of interacting with flesh and blood people, they will, this effect dwarfs anything social media cannot feel, anything online cannot feel, that's one piece of advice, and second piece of advice, trust judiciously, don't be paranoid, don't be a conspiracy theorist, don't distrust as a matter of policy, trust as a matter of policy, but trust judiciously, learn how to trust and who to trust and never trust anyone about everything, allocate trust, you can trust some people for some things but not for others, distribute your trust, create a distributed network of trust, so that you always have a solution for a trust issue with a specific individual, create a trust network around you and then once you have this safety net of trust which you can rely on, then you can venture out safely, venture out, you take a bit more risk, you seek novelty, you can connect with strangers and make them not strangers in due time, try to avoid casualness, avoid casual sex, avoid anything casual, take your life seriously, invest in it, consider it a business proposition, you wouldn't take your business casually or you wouldn't have a business, and finally the last piece of advice is what I call nothingness, ask yourself which of my beliefs, which of my voices are mine and which I borrowed from someone, adopted from someone, I'm imitating someone, I'm influenced by someone, consider yourself like an onion, peel the layers, discard the layers that are not yours and remain with the essence of the onion and the essence of the onion is none of the layers, it is the smell of the onion because once you have discarded all the layers, the smell of the onion lingers, that smell is you.

Focus on the smell, focus on you, Sartre, Jean-Paul Sartre called it authenticity, many of the things we do, many of the things we believe, many of the things we say, the ways we behave, people we attach to etc, this is not us.

These are voices, a mother's voice, a father's voice, teachers, influencers, peers, society, government and so on, discard all this.

It's not you. It's dead weight. It's a burden. It falsifies you.

Discard all this. That's what I call nothingness.

Throw away everything. Remain with three sentences but they are yours. Remain with three behaviors or three traits or three people but they are yours.

They are really you.

Remain with the smell of you.

Sam, very well put, again, I want to thank you for taking the time out, you know, you blessed us with a lot of gems today, I hope it resonates and really educates a lot of you, you know, to give you, you know, a reference point of where to start at, where to, you know, kind of come out of this, you know, sometimes that's what we need.

We need, we just need that little pep talk to get us going.

And again, Sam, as always, it's been a pleasure to have you on, a blessing too, thank you again and very kind of you to have me, thank you.

We'll definitely be in contact and again, enjoy your day, everyone's, you know, please make sure you share the video, once you get it, people definitely could benefit from this knowledge.

I've recorded the video, I'll send you the recording, absolutely, okay, take care, take care, talk to you again, bye.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Why Do You Trust Learn To Trust Again! ( Bonus Rant)

The lecture discusses the complexities of trust, particularly in the context of narcissism and societal attitudes towards expertise. It emphasizes the importance of discerning true friends from fake ones, highlighting that genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and accountability, while fake friendships often revolve around self-interest. The speaker argues that trust is a biological urge essential for survival, yet it must be tempered with caution and tested over time to ensure its validity. Ultimately, the lecture advocates for a balanced approach to trust, encouraging individuals to embrace it while remaining vigilant and discerning in their relationships.


Your Life Meaningless? Choose Nothingness! (ENGLISH from 02:01)

The current state of society reflects a systemic failure, characterized by increasing wars, social isolation, and a preference for material possessions over human connections, leading to what is described as a "death cult." This failure is exacerbated by a lack of meaning in life, prompting individuals to seek solutions through psychoticism, narcissism, or the proposed philosophy of nothingness, which emphasizes self-awareness and authenticity. The process of achieving nothingness involves peeling away societal influences and internalized voices to discover one's true essence, ultimately fostering self-love and self-regulation. The lecture advocates for prioritizing happiness over dominance, embracing uncertainty, and focusing on the journey rather than fixed outcomes, suggesting that true empowerment comes from understanding and accepting oneself.


Talk That Defies a Title (Assembly of Silence Radio Hour (ASRH))

The discussion centers on the concept of nothingness as a path to authenticity, suggesting that individuals must shed societal influences and internalized expectations to discover their true selves. This process involves recognizing that much of one's identity is shaped by external factors, leading to a state of being that is free from societal impositions. The conversation also critiques modern psychology for promoting a solipsistic view of the self, which contributes to a culture of narcissism and objectification, ultimately resulting in a disconnection from genuine human relationships. The potential of artificial intelligence is presented as a hopeful avenue for overcoming these societal challenges, as it could foster new forms of collaboration and understanding beyond the limitations of human psychology.


Narcissism Sucks? Fix It! (with Assc Direct)

The discussion highlights the pervasive impact of social media on individual identity and mental health, emphasizing that technology is designed to condition and addict users, leading to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and a decline in meaningful relationships. It argues that social media fosters a culture of superficiality, where individuals prioritize attention and validation over genuine connections, resulting in a two-dimensional existence. The conversation also critiques the rise of narcissism and victimhood in society, suggesting that many self-identified victims may actually exhibit narcissistic traits themselves, perpetuating a cycle of dependency and manipulation. Ultimately, the advice centers on reconnecting with real human interactions, establishing a network of trust, and cultivating authenticity by discarding external influences that do not reflect one's true self.


Nothingness and You in Buddhism and Daoism

The philosophical system of nothingness serves as an antidote to narcissism, drawing from ancient wisdom while adapting to contemporary contexts. It posits that hope, love, and success are toxic constructs that undermine individual freedom and authentic existence, promoting a reality-based approach instead. The lecture explores Eastern influences, particularly Buddhism and Taoism, emphasizing the significance of emptiness and interconnectedness in understanding existence. Ultimately, it advocates for a self-sufficient existence rooted in reality rather than societal narratives, encouraging a departure from conventional notions of identity and success.


Push Narcissist’s 4 Secret Buttons: Gamma Man or Agent of Chaos, Madness?

The lecture discusses the four key psychological buttons of narcissists: the precocious child, the conquering hero, the father guru, and divinity, each representing different aspects of the narcissist's identity and behavior. These buttons can be manipulated in two ways: to maintain a relationship or to facilitate a breakup, with specific strategies for each button. The speaker emphasizes that narcissism is a complex and pervasive personality construct, not merely a collection of behaviors, and highlights the chaos and discomfort that narcissists introduce into relationships. Additionally, the concept of the gamma male is introduced as a non-clinical classification that aligns with certain traits of cerebral narcissists, illustrating the broader spectrum of narcissistic behaviors.


Narcissism, Demonic Possession as Morality Plays

The lecture explores the historical and linguistic connections between demon possession and narcissism, suggesting that both concepts serve as metaphors for psychological states rather than actual entities. It argues that the language used to describe mental illness has evolved from demonology to modern psychiatric terms, yet the underlying experiences of dissociation, loss of control, and distorted perceptions remain similar. The narcissist is portrayed as a person whose true self is overshadowed by a false self, leading to a disconnection from reality and a sense of being controlled by external forces, akin to demonic possession. Ultimately, the discussion highlights the need for a deeper understanding of these psychological phenomena, emphasizing the importance of recognizing mental health issues rather than attributing them to supernatural causes.


Take Your Life Back, Own It

To take back your life and develop a core identity, it is essential to analyze your relationships and focus on cultivating real relationships characterized by vulnerability, shared goals, and realistic perceptions of one another. Avoid micro-relationships and pseudo-relationships, as they often lead to negative outcomes such as depression and heartbreak. Personal responsibility is crucial; your choices define you, and understanding your past behavior can help predict your future actions. Ultimately, happiness comes from within and is rooted in self-love and acceptance, rather than external gratification or fleeting experiences.


Flying Monkeys of Narcissist Zero: Language of Narcissistic Abuse

The insistence on being credited for one's work stems from a deep appreciation for history and the importance of memory in understanding context and lineage. Without proper attribution, there is a risk of intellectual theft, which undermines creativity and the moral fabric of society. The speaker emphasizes the need for recognition of contributions to the discourse on narcissism, asserting that their pioneering efforts in coining terminology have shaped the field significantly. This struggle for acknowledgment reflects a broader concern about the loss of historical awareness and the consequences of living in a contextless, present-focused world.


Jews Hated by Woke Left and Alt-right Alike (with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open)

The lecture discusses the complex identity of Jews, particularly in relation to their historical experiences of otherness and persecution, including the Holocaust and contemporary anti-Semitism. It highlights the differing perspectives of Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews regarding the Holocaust and the impact of these experiences on their worldviews. The speaker argues that the current Israeli-Palestinian conflict is fueled by historical grievances and that both sides perpetuate the cycle of violence for their own interests. Ultimately, the lecture calls for a reevaluation of strategies for coexistence, emphasizing the need for humility and compromise in order to ensure a sustainable future for both Israelis and Palestinians.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy