Megalomaniacal Sadistic Psychopath (Malignant Narcissist Compilation)

The next part of the table has to do deals with social adaptation.

Cooper and Akhtar described the covert in these terms, nagging aimlessness, shallow vocational commitment, dilettant-like attitudes, multiple but superficial interests, chronic boredom, aesthetic taste often ill-informed and imitative.

And of course, this is an excellent encapsulation of the psychopath. Psychopaths are exactly like this. This characterizes psychopath 100%.

So here the malignant compensation sits well, coheres with who the covert narcissist anyhow is, with who the covert narcissist is at all times.

In short, what I'm trying to say is that covert narcissism includes a pronounced element or pronounced elements of psychopathy.

Covert narcissists are much closer to primary psychopathy in this respect, when it comes to social functioning and social adaptation and interpersonal relationships and so on so on.

So there is an interesting mirror image here.

The covert narcissist is much more narcissistic than the overt narcissists when it comes to internal processes, the inner landscape, the psychology, then the covert narcissist is more narcissistic than the overt narcissist.

But when it comes to the environment, circumstances, other people, interpersonal relationships, social functioning, and so on so forth, the covert actually is usually more psychopathic than the overt.

For example, the overt of grandiose narcissist is more likely to collaborate with other people, to work in teams to obtain a goal.

Yes, there will be a lot of friction, a lot of infighting, a lot of ego trips and power plays and mind games. All true.

But at least the covert grandiose narcissist is capable in principle of mobilizing multiple people and creating ad hoc coalitions and alliances to take goals the covert narcissist is utterly incapable of this that's why covert narcissists are loners majority of them are loners.

Now, even when the covert narcissists pretends to be someone he is not, a wolf in sheep's clothing, when the covert narcissistic abuse, or when he pretends to be, I don't know, a victim of narcissistic abuse, or when he pretends to be empathic, or when it pretends to be kind and nice and compassionate and helpful, and even when the covert narcissist plays a play acts, adopts a role that is divorced from reality, the reality of who he is.

Even then, it devolves very fast into a loner position.

Even when the covert narcissists becomes a cult leader, there's only one cult leader. The members of the cult are interjects, they're extensions. They don't really exist.

Even when the covert narcissists becomes a politician, he aspires to work alone and to be sui generis, to be a unique case.

Covert narcissists are really bad at working with other people because it triggers their insecurities, their self-doubts, their sense of inferiority, they become envious, then they destroy everything. They're very self-defeating and so destructive.

And of course, the malignant compensation for this is grandiosity.

So ironically, covert narcissists, although their grandiosity is not expressed, is not manifested, is unobservable, is not ostentatious, is hidden, is latent, and covert narcissists are very good at deceiving people by pretending to be humble.

This is known as pseudo-humility in clinical terms. They play humble.

But actually, the grandiosity of covert narcissists far exceeds the grandiosity of the overt grandiose narcissists.

And that's the irony.

The covert narcissists needs to triple, quadruple and quintuple his grandiosity just in order to compensate for the gaping hole that is left in him by constant collapse and failure and defeat and the admonitions and injunctions of the bad object.

So, while the overt grandiose narcissist's grandiosity is a cognitive distortion, the covert narcissist's grandiosity is actually a malignant compensation.

And in this sense, the covert narcissistic is identical to the grandiosity of the psychopath.

Because psychopaths also have grandiosity.

Grandiosity is not unique to narcissism, by the way. It's a common mistake online where people confuse grandiosity with narcissism.

So I've heard self-styled experts say that all psychopaths are narcissists, which is complete, unmitigated, utter ignorant, shockingly ignorant, nonsense.

Most psychopaths are grandiose. All narcissists are grandiose, but grandiosity is a common denominator.

It doesn't mean that they are one and the same.

Same goes for covert narcissism.

But in covert narcissism, the grandiosity is so outlandish, so all-consuming, so fantastic, so aggressive, so demanding, so shocking, so realistic that the covert narcissistic is very reminiscent of the psychopath's grandiosity.

The next part of the table, Cooper and Akhtar's table of covert narcissism, the next part is ethics, standards, and ideals.

They say that the covert narcissist possesses a readiness to shift values in order to gain favor. Pathological lying, materialistic lifestyle, delinquent tendencies, inordinate ethnic and moral relativism, irreverence toward authority.

And again, coming to the same conclusion. This is a perfect description of the psychopath. This is exactly what the psychopath is.

So it would seem that Cooper and Akhtar are describing the malignant compensation of the covert narcissists.

This is how the covert narcissists compensates for his innate insecurity, uncertainty, doubt, fears, anxiety, sense of being less than good, less than sufficient, inadequate, failure, and so also for this.

By actually becoming a primary psychopath.

So whereas the malignant transformation of the ordinary narcissists, the classic, the overt, the grandiose narcissist, the malignant transformation has to do with a combination of sadism and psychopathy but with pronounced narcissistic aspects and traits.

In the covert narcissists, the malignant transformation or the malignant compensation is psychopathy coupled with sadism.

It's as if the narcissism is suspended because it keeps failing as a compensatory mechanism.

It's as if the covert says, look here, I've tried to be a narcissist, but I'm not doing this well. I keep failing. I keep collapsing. I don't want to be a narcissist anymore. I want to be a psychopath. I want to be a sadist.

So the covert narcissists, when his narcissism fails, when he collapses, transitions to a self-state which is essentially sadistic and psychopathic in pure terms without narcissism or where the narcissism is not a main component, not a major component.

Let me summarize this for you because it's a very important clinical distinction.

The ordinary, classical run of the meal, overt grandiose narcissists, some of them develop malignancy and then they become narcissists who are also psychopaths and sadists.

The narcissism is very, very dominant. The psychopathy is a disservice of narcissism. The sadism is a way to extract sadistic supply, which is a form of narcissistic supply. It's all about narcissism.

The overt, grandiose narcissists does not cease to be a narcissist when he becomes malignant. On the very contrary, his malignancy emphasizes his narcissism.

This is the overt. The overt narcissist is exactly the opposite. The covert narcissist discards his narcissism because his narcissism has failed, led him to constant pain and collapse and self-recrimination and humiliation.

He doesn't want to be a narcissist anymore. It's not working. Instead, he is transitioning to a self-state of psychopathy, pure psychopathy and sadism, pure sadism.

So, the covert narcissist spends a lot of time as a narcissist and some time as a pure primary psychopath who is also a sadist.

And this is the dichotomy of the covert narcissist. This is what we don't see in overt narcissism.

The overt narcissist is always a narcissist. The overt narcissist is a narcissist when he's a psychopath. The overt narcissist is a narcissist when he's a sadist.

But the covert narcissist is not a narcissist when he's a psychopath. He is not a narcissist, not primarily when he's a sadist.

And this is a very important distinction.

What about love and sexuality?

According to Akhtar and Cooper, the covert narcissist has an inability to remain in love, an impaired capacity for viewing the romantic partner as a separate individual with his or her own interests, rights, and values, an inability to genuinely comprehend the incest taboo and occasional sexual perversions.

The malignant compensation here is psychopathy, sadism, but above all auto-erotism.

The covert narcissist, and this is common also to the overt, but common but less pronounced, and the frequency is reduced in overt narcissism.

There's an overt narcissism that's a process called sublimation. The sex drive is converted into socially acceptable behaviors and goals and accomplishments.

The covert narcissist is unable to accomplish anything, unable to realize anything. It's a true loser and failure.

And so when the covert narcissist tries to convert his emotions, erotic emotions, romantic emotions, sexual drive, when he tries to convert them, he doesn't convert them into socially acceptable goals because he's unable to accomplish goals.

The covert narcissist converts them into autoerotism. Autoerotism means the covert narcissist regards himself or herself as the sexual object.

The covert narcissist is attracted sexually to himself. The covert narcissist arouses himself by looking at his body, touching his body, and so and so forth.

But he does this by sadistically humiliating and degrading, willing, consenting partners, for example, submissive partners.

So the sadism here is at the service of auto-erotism. It's a sexual sadism.

And this is coupled with psychopathy in the sense that the covert narcissists would not hesitate to prey on vulnerable people in order to convert them or to use them as submissive, albeit willing and consenting fully, partners, so as to uphold his autoerotism.

Again, the solutions are very different here.

When the overt narcissist becomes malignant, his sexuality is other directed. It may be a sexuality that we would find abhorrent or unacceptable for example extreme types of kink or sadomaso or whatever but it would still be other directed it would be auto erotic but it would be collaborative shall we say

While the covert narcissist is unable to convert sex, love, into socially acceptable modes, what he would do, he would prey, would become a predator and prey on vulnerable potential partners, convert them to the cause of degradation and submissiveness, thereby satisfying or slaking, sating his own sadism, and this would arouse him sexually in his attraction to himself.

So the covert narcissist would be attracted, would arouse himself by perceiving himself as irresistible.

Through other people, through his partner's gaze, through his degraded and humiliated partner's gaze, the covert narcissist convinces himself that he is irresistible, finds himself irresistible, and makes love to himself, autoerotically.

The humiliation and the degradation of the partner has to be not only consensual, but enthusiastic as far as the partner is concerned, because of the element of irresistibility.

Covert Narcissus needs to feel that he is amazing, unique, top performer, irresistible, drop dead gorgeous, you name it. And he can obtain this kind of sensation or feeling only if the partner indeed finds him this way, or at least communicates this way.

And finally, cognitive style.

Akhtar and Cooper say that the covert narcissist's knowledge is limited to trivia, headline intelligence.

The covert narcissist is forgetful of details, especially names, impaired in the capacity for learning new skills, has a tendency to change meanings of reality when facing a threat to self-esteem.

Language and speaking are used for regulating self-esteem.

The malignant compensation in this case is grandiosity. But it is grandiosity that is coupled with kind of intellectual laziness, if you wish, entitlement.

Covert narcissists, because its grandiosity is much bigger than the overt narcissists, albeit never expressed, his entitlement is much bigger.

The covert narcissist appears to be lazy or indolent, appears to be laid back, but actually it's because the covert narcissist believes that he's entitled to everything and everyone's attention and property and reputation and accomplishments and so without any commensurate effort, without any investment, without any study, without any work.

This is the malignant compensation for the problems with cognitive style that the covert narcissist possesses.

In short, covert narcissism is a much more complex condition than overt narcissism because covert narcissism is a state of collapse. It's when overt narcissism failed and failed.

And in this sense, covert narcissists are comparable psychodynamically to borderline, people with borderline. This borderline is also a failure of overt narcissism.

The covert borderline compensates for this failure and the feelings of shame that this failure induces, it compensates for this, by becoming a primary psychopath.

It is time to explore the malignant version, malignant variant of covert narcissism.

I suspect that it's much more common among covert narcissists than among overt narcissists. We believe that 3% of overt narcissists are also malignant.

I would not be shocked to find that something like 15 to 20% of covert narcissists are actually malignant.

And the malignancy of covert narcissism is far, far more accentuated and a lot more dangerous to society than the malignancy of the overt narcissists.

While the overt narcissistsmalignancy is socially disruptive, hurts people, undermines situations and projects, and so on so forth, the covert narcissistic malignancy is covert.

And therefore, its richness, and its infiltration and its invasiveness is comparable to cancer. It's much bigger. It aggressively multiplies and aggressively infiltrates and invades healthy tissue, healthy social tissue.

So even if we were to accept that overt narcissists are actually primary psychopaths and that the malignant version of overt narcissism is just the addition of sadism, we would still have to somehow tackle the fact, the indisputable fact, that covert narcissists act psychopathically very, very often.

And when they do, they're literally indistinguishable from psychopaths, primary psychopaths.

This is a major problem because you can't see them coming. They're great camouflage and disguise, as I mentioned, pseudo-humility.

And so it's a topic that bears a focus on. I think it should be the next hot button topic in narcissism, in the study of narcissism.

Thank you for listening.

Malignant narcissism is the nefarious confluence and comorbidity of classic narcissistic personality disorder, coupled with psychopathic behaviors and traits, a little more than antisocial, psychopathic, and above all, sadism.

Now, I have dealt with malignant narcissism in other videos and I even proposed a new diagnosis malignant covert narcissists the malignant version of covert narcissists because the classic description of the malignant narcissist has to do with overt or grandiose narcissism there is actually very little on a covert narcissist who is also malignant although Otto Kernberg had alluded to this in several of his articles and books when he described what he called the passive malignant narcissists.

At any rate, I recommend that you watch my video, Malignant covert narcissists becomes primary psychopath to compensate for collapse. Quite a mouthful. And once you have watched this video, come back here.

Because today I'm going to read to you an excerpt from an article by Otto Kernberg, which describes what I consider to be a little explored comorbidity between borderline personality organization and malignant narcissism.

So now we have three situations, three diagnoses, or three diagnostic clusters.

We have classic malignant narcissist who is actually an overt, grandiose narcissist, plus psychopathy, plus sadism.

We have covert, malignant covert narcissist, who is actually a covert, fragile, vulnerable narcissist, plus psychopathy, plus sadism.

Cluster number two.

In cluster number three, the borderline malignant narcissist, who is actually an overt, grandiose narcissist, plus psychopathy, plus sadism, plus borderline personality organization.

And no, it's not something I came up with, it's something the inimitable. And one and only, Otto F. Kernberg came up with in 2020 in an article titled Malignant Narcissism and Large Group Regression published in the psychoanalytic quarterly in January 2020 as I said.

Let me just read the excerpt to you because one cannot improve on Kernberg any more than one can improve on Shakespeare. He is the Shakespeare of Cluster B personality disorder.

So here's what he wrote.

I have defined the syndrome of malignant narcissism in earlier studies of severe forms of pathological narcissism.

He refers to his work from dated 1984 in 2018, although he fails to give credit to the guy who actually was the first to describe malignant narcissism in 1964, I, Erich Fromm in the Heart of Men in his book the Heart of Man describes malignant narcissism and coins the phrase malignant narcissism. Kernberg neglects to mention it not good, no no.

Okay so back back to Kernberg's article.

He says, I've defined the syndrome, etc., etc., as characterized by the presence of one, a narcissistic personality disorder with all its characteristic features, a pathological grandiose self, inordinate self-centeredness, and a sense of superiority, strong manifestations of envy, devaluation of others, severe limitations of the capacity of emotional investment in others, and a chronic sense of emptiness that requires an ongoing search for external stimulation or the excitement derived, for example, from drugs or sexual behavior.

So this is component number one in malignant narcissism as described by Kernberg.

Ingredient number two, significant paranoid personality features.

Number three, strong egosyntonic aggression directed against others or self.

Number four, significant antisocial behavior.

Kernberg continues to say, the basic psychopathological features of the syndrome of malignant narcissism are a dominance of unconscious conflicts around intense aggressive affect from whatever origin, together with the development of the compensating pathology of a grandiose self.

Aggressive motivation infiltrates the grandiose sense of self, leading to egosyntonic aggressivity on the one hand and to the projection of aggression in the form of paranoid tendencies on the other.

The severe deficit in the development of an internalized system of ethical values derived from the underlying basic failure in normal identity formation that affects the buildup of such an ethical structure, super ego development. This severe deficit determines the development of antisocial behaviors.

Patients with the syndrome of malignant narcissism function along a wide spectrum of social dysfunction.

The most ill patients with these characteristics suffer from a total breakdown of their capacity for social interactions, incapacity to function in work and profession, and breakdown in intimate relations, together with the development of severe affective dysregulation and such a degree of disturbed interpersonal behavior that makes for initial confusion with borderline personality disorder.

At the other extreme, our patients who are able to maintain their social functions and work conditions, and only show breakdown in their personal intimate relationships, an incapacity to significantly invest in non-exploitive behavior with others, and an extremely exaggerated concept of self and commitment to self-interest that are pursued in an aggressive way without moral restrictions.

So Kernberg points to the fact that there is a subtype of malignant narcissism, which is essentially indistinguishable from borderline personality disorder or at the very minimum is a borderline personality organization.

In passing, Kernberg comes up with a totally new diagnosis.

So we have, like to summarize, three types of malignant narcissism.

The overt grandiose malignant narcissists, the covert, the malignant covertnesses, and the borderline malignant narcissists.

The first one, the overt, grandiose malignant narcissist is simply a narcissist, a classic narcissist who is also a psychopath and a sadist.

The malignant covert narcissist is a covert narcissist who is a psychopathic and a sadist.

And the borderline malignant narcissist is a malignant narcissist whose dysfunction and emotional regulation render him almost indistinguishable from borderline patients, from a borderline personality organization or even disorder or condition.

These are the three types of malignant narcissism.

Thank you, Professor Kernberg, Dr. Kernberg, and thank you, the viewers, for having endured with me thus far.

There is no comorbidity more creepy and ill understood than the schizoid malignant narcissists.

To remind you, a malignant narcissist is someone who could be diagnosed simultaneously as a narcissist, a psychopath and a sadist. A delectable concoction.

And so some malignant narcissists are also schizoid.

Schizoid personality disorder is an affliction which renders interpersonal relationships almost impossible. There's no interest in having interactions with other people, not even in sex.

So put the three together. Malignant narcissism, which is again narcissism, psychopathy and sadism, coupled with a schizoid personality, and you have a veritable oxymoron, a contradiction in terms, because narcissism by definition involves dependence on other people for narcissistic supply, input and feedback from the outside, which allows for internal regulation, internal regulation of a sense of self-worth and sometimes of emotions and moods similar to borderline personality disorder.

So the narcissist is a junkie of attention, the narcissist is addicted to attention, and attention comes only from other people, in words, the narcissists is dependent on other people.

And on the other hand, schizoids find any protracted interaction with other people excruciate. They hate to be in contact, definitely meaningful contact, emotionally infused contact, with other people.

And so there's a contradiction here. There's a dynamic clash, an internal conflict that is very difficult to resolve.

Schizoid malignant narcissists usually obtain narcissistic supply impersonally, for example, virtually, online. They try to avoid interpersonal interactions face-to-face in the flesh, so to speak. They try to construct environments where they are self-sufficient.

They can, for example, make a living, at the same time they can garner attention, adulation and admiration from anonymous sources, from people they don't know, they've never met, and would never communicate with.

And so this is virtual narcissistic supply. And this is a typical setup or setting of the schizoid malignant narcissists life.

It's a constricted life in the sense that it does not involve any meaningful exchanges with other human beings. And it does involve interactions with symbols on the screen, pixels, representations of human beings, which are very reminiscent of representations of people within the narcissist mind, the internal objects.

So the schizoid malignant narcissist who interacts with external emanations and manifestations of internal objects in the form of images on the screen, or likes, or followers, or whatever. In many ways this is a form of self-supply and schizoid malignant narcissists are very adept at regulating their flow of supply by self-supply. They rely on self-supply much more than other types of narcissists who rely typically on other people for supply.

Self-supply in schizoid malignant narcissism is not only a stopgap measure, it's a preference. It's regulated, it's controllable, it's safe, it's predictable, it's as rich as you can make it. It's a fount of nurturance that the schizoid malignant narcissist finds infinitely preferable to having to kind of wade through relationships with other people.

Relations with other people in the schizoid malignant narcissist's mind resemble a swamp which you have to kind of wade through and there's always a risk of being sucked in and drowning.

The schizoid malignant narcissist would rather protect himself or defend himself behind the screen, behind the glass, if you wish, and harvest attention in a variety of highly impersonal ways.

But life, such as it is, forces one to be in touch with other people.

Even the most dedicated, devout hermit in a monastery in Shangri-La, ultimately has to come across the pizza delivery guy.

Life intrudes and its agents, other human beings, are all over the place. It's very difficult to avoid contact completely.

Ultimately, you need to buy groceries. Usually you need to pay bills. I mean, one way or another, you're going to end up face to face with this dread, another human being.

When in touch with other people, even out of choice, the schizoid malignant narcissist becomes inordinately psychopathic and sadistic.

He's annoyed, he is irritated, he is contemptuous, and he is hateful, and he externalizes aggression.

There are several reasons to this abrupt transition from a benign, docile presence behind the screen to a raving lunatic and maniac, hateful with blazing eyes, psychopath and a sadist, merciless, ruthless, callous, revels in pain and hurt that he causes others.

This very, very abrupt transition has several fountain heads, several reasons.

Number one, it's partly intended to accomplish goals.

In the absence of narcissistic supply, the malignant narcissist resorts to sadistic supply.

And the schizoid malignant narcissist actually prefers sadistic supply in face-to-face encounters because he's angry at having been coerced, having been forced to interact with people in the flesh.

So every meeting, every encounter, every physical exchange, everything is perceived by the schizoid malignant narcissist as an imposition, an imposition, coercion, brutal invasion, an intrusion. There's a lot of resentment, a lot of rage, a lot of anger, they involve.

So the schizoid malignant narcissist is much more likely to become sadistic in his or her encounters with other people, much more likely than the typical malignant narcissist, let alone the run of the mill, overt or covert narcissist.

The risk of escalating potentially dangerous sadism in schizoid malignant narcissism is much higher, the highest actually, in all the variants, among all the variants of narcissism, because there is this rage of having been forced to be in touch with people.

And because sadistic supply feels absolutely so good that it trumps any other form of pleasure.

The schizoid malignant narcissist would self-sacrifice, self-defeat and self-destruct just in order to experience the elation and the exaltation of having hurt or damaged another person.

And so sadistic supply is preferred to narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply is obtained indirectly, impersonally, as I said, via means of technology. And sadistic supply is face-to-face, in face-to-face encounters.

The second reason is punishment. This is punitive. Punitive sadism.

The schizoid malignant narcissist wants to punish people for having imposed on his time, for having invaded his personal space, for having consumed his scarce resources.

They deserve punishment. They are far inferior to him, and yet they forced him to their level. And so they deserve to be penalized. They deserve to endure some penance.

And the sadism or the sadistic eruptions or outbursts they are intended to punish the people who force themselves upon the presence of the schizoid malignant narcissists.

And finally, sadism pushes people away. Gradually, the schizoid malignant narcissist acquires such a reputation that people shun him, avoid him at all costs.

So the sadism serves to restore the schizoid state and to vouchsafe, to guarantee, or to firewall the schizoid space.

They feed each other. The schizoid malignant narcissism and psychopathy, they're helpful in generating the kind of environment and the kind of conditions that allow the schizoid malignant narcissist to ultimately remain all alone, incommunicado, no contact with anyone, no friends, no family, nothing, a total loner, which is the optimal and much desired fantasy of the schizoid malignant narcissist. It's a dream come true.

And the sadism and the psychopathy are kind of behavior modification techniques, communicating to the human environment, stay away. Let me be.

Sadism creates and maintains the schizoid space. There are many ways. Sadism has many manifestations, many expressions, in many ways.

When the schizoid malignant narcissist is in a relationship, and what they define as relationships is nothing you would recognize, when they are in contact with another person who is the equivalent of a service provider, the four S's, sex services, supply, sadistic and narcissistic and safety. So when they cohabit with someone, when they share the same space, mental or physical, with someone who is essentially a service provider, they become highly possessive and jealous.

But the possessiveness and jealousy has nothing to do with the fear of loss because the internet service provider is interchangeable and dispensable. You are utterly disposable. It's not about fear of loss, it's about gotcha, like I'm possessive, I'm jealous, it's a kind of entrapment, entrapment, which is intended to sadistically taunt you and torture you and to push you to misbehave so that ultimately you justify the foresight and the omniscience of the schizoid malignant narcissists.

It's a form of sadism. There's no real jealousy there because would you care if your internet service provider caters to other clients? Of course you do. You don't. You don't care.

It's the same with the schizoid malignant narcissists. He doesn't care if his intimate partner is intimate with others. She's a service provider. Obviously she could have other clients. That's not a problem.

But he is going to impose on her strictures, edicts, rules of conduct, surveillance, and it's going to create a situation which communicates possessiveness and jealousy, but actually is a form of micromanagement and coercive control.

Another form of sadism is cold empathy, scanning the partner or other people for vulnerabilities and then leveraging these vulnerabilities, pushing the buttons, hurting where it, you know, hitting where it hurts.

So vulnerabilities.

And then there's setting up for failure, unrealistically expectations, standards that can never be met, reciprocity that is too ideal, no one can match it.

And so these are all intended to set partner or the friend or whoever up for failure.

The problem with the malignant narcissists is the mixed signals, the dual messaging.

On the one hand, the narcissistic part in the schizoid malignant narcissism pushes the individual, pushes the schizoid malignant narcissists to approach people in order to extract supply, in order to enjoy inflicting pain on them, degrading them, in order to be aroused by degrading and hurting other people. There's a need for other people.

On the other hand, the schizoid part pulls the individual away.

So there's an approach avoidance repetition compulsion here. There's approach in order to benefit from human company and human touch, buttress grandiosity, share a fantasy, obtain narcissistic supply, etc. And then the schizoid part rebels, the schizoid partpulls the narcissists back.

And in order to maintain the schizoid space and to restore the schizoid state, the schizoid malignant narcissist uses sadism to push people away and to establish the periphery, the firewall periphery of his or her existence.

This could be extremely confusing and hurtful and potentially even dangerous and that's why this particular hybrid, this comorbidity, to my mind is the most complex of them all and I will dedicate to it a few more videos in the future.

Today we are going to discuss the number one narcissist, the king of all narcissists, the alpha narcissist, in short, me.

Oops, it's the wrong text. Give me a minute. I'll be right back. Don't go away. Don't go away.

There we are.

Today we are going to discuss another aspect of malignant narcissism.

Just to remind you, the malignant narcissist is a delectable combination of narcissism, psychopathy, and sadism.

In short, it is someone you would like to marry and have children with.

And as you may recall, those of you have been around long enough, I've discussed various aspects and dimensions of malignant narcissism in previous videos, some of them very recent.

I mentioned, for example, that there are three types of malignant narcissists, the grandiose malignant narcissist, the covert malignant narcissist, and the borderline malignant narcissist.

Now these parallel another classification. Otto Kernberg and others have discussed high-functioning malignant narcissists and low-functioning or passive malignant narcissists.

And here is the map. What corresponds to what?

The grandiose malignant narcissist is a high-functioning narcissist.

The covert malignant narcissist is a pro-social, communal malignant narcissist, which is the topic of today's video.

And the low-functioning malignant narcissist is also known as the borderline malignant narcissist.

Now what's the difference between all these types, subtypes, subspecies, variants, it begins to resemble the COVID-19 virus.

So what are the differences?

Well, a low functioning malignant narcissist, aka borderline malignant narcissist, is utterly dysfunctional.

This kind of person is unable to be efficacious, unable to act and to guarantee outcomes in any field of his life. He is unable to generate any results, professionally, is unable to work regularly in a workplace, is unable to maintain interpersonal relationships, especially intimate and romantic relationships.

So this is a low-functioning narcissist, a bloody mess, total chaos in all arenas of life, someone who goes through life, leaving in his wake, disappointed, broken, damaged people, institutions, frustrated hopes, and tamped down expectations.

The high functioning malignant narcissist is professionally functional. He is very successful at the workplace.

But he is interpersonally dysfunctional. He cannot maintain relationships in the long term. He fears intimacy. He is unable to engage in secure attachment.

In other words, he has an insecure attachment style. And he keeps ruining one relationship after another, something that the beloved Zygman Freud called a repetition compulsion.

So these are the first two types.

The low functioning borderline malignant narcissist, good for nothing. The high functioning malignant narcissist, great at his job, sucks at his relationships.

But there's a third type, the covert malignant narcissist, also known as the prosocial or communal malignant narcissist.

Now in low functioning malignant narcissism, human contact of any kind from shopping to dating triggers the sadistic element in malignant narcissism.

I'm going to repeat this because this is very crucial for the continuation of this video.

With the low functioning borderline narcissist, sadism is triggered each and every time this kind of person comes in contact with another human being.

The presence of human being, their speech, their actions somehow exude an emanation, which hasn't been captured in any laboratory, but this emanation, whatever it may be, triggers the low functioning narcissists, he becomes emotionally dysregulated, in other words, he becomes borderline, and he becomes exceedingly sadistic.

And so the low-functioning malignant narcissism sadism is triggered by exposure to human beings.

And the low-functioning malignant narcissists justifies his sadism by holding all people in grandiose contempt and haughtiness.

He regards all people as inferior, stupid, deserving of their fate. They had it coming. They should have protected themselves better. They're idiots. And so no big loss.

Sadism of the low-functioning malignant narcissists is embedded in an ideology of contempt.

Over time, the cumulative adverse outcomes of such behavior or misbehavior are such that the malignant narcissists gradually drifts towards withdrawal and avoidance he adopts schizoid behaviors.

In other words, the low-functioning malignant narcissists, the borderline malignant narcissists becomes sadistic whenever he's in touch with other people. Never mind the setting, never mind the framework, never mind the reason for being in touch with other people. Whenever he's in touch with other people, he becomes sadistic.

And of course, other people react. There's payback there's backlash there's punishment there's karma and so this kind of low functioning malignant narcissist at some point begins to avoid other people to withdraw from social interactions to isolate himself to become hermetically sealed in his own bubble of existence. He gradually drifts away.

This is known as schizoid behaviors. Schizoid behaviors also allow the low-functioning borderline malignant narcissists to preserve egosyntony via alloplastic defenses.

Now, that's a very fancy way of saying that when the low-functioning borderline malignant narcissists withdraws from other people, avoids other people, he tells himself that he is doing it because other people are wicked. Other people are evil. Other people are dumb. Other people don't deserve his presence, his contributions, his involvement.

And so he says to himself, I should not waste my precious time and towering intellect on other people. I should better be alone.

Gradually, the low functioning, borderline malignant narcissists begins to self-supply in other words his narcissistic supply emanates from the inside rather than from the outside and this kind of person becomes more and more psychotic, as Kernberg had observed in his work on the borderline between psychosis and neurosis.

Low functioning borderline, malignant narcissists end up being schizoid behaviorally, avoidant and withdrawing, but also highly emotionally dysregulated, subject to mood disorders, and ultimately pseudo-psychotic. They have brief psychotic micro-episodes because the stress breaks them apart. They disintegrate or more clinically speaking, they decompensate.

So this is the low functioning borderline malignant narcissists.

The high functioning malignant narcissists we have discussed in the previous video. There are links in the description and today I want to dedicate time to the third type the covert malignant narcissists, also known as the prosocial or communal malignant narcissists.

This kind of narcissist, exactly like the high-functioning malignant narcissists, this kind of narcissists, exactly like the high functioning malignant narcissists, functions perfectly, professionally.

But as distinct from the high functioning malignant narcissist, the prosocial and communal malignant narcissist also functions well interpersonally.

So don't confuse the two.

The grandiose, overt, in your face, defiant, high functioning, malignant narcissist is a superstar in the workplace, in his chosen career, in his job, able to work, organize and work with teams, and so on and so forth, but cannot maintain long-term relationships, intimate relationships, friendship relationships, you name it. He's unable to maintain relationships. He is interpersonally not self-efficacious.

Whereas the pro-social and communal malignant narcissists is good at both areas of life. He is good in the workplace, in his job, in his career, his chosen career, and he is also good in maintaining interpersonal relationships.

So, you would say, if he is so good at everything, why do we attribute to such a person any kind of pathology?

Because the prosocial communal malignant narcissistsmakes a distinction between an in-group and an out-group.

An in-group and an out-group.

An in-group are people around the malignant narcissists who provide the malignant narcissists with narcissistic supply and sadistic supply. These are fans, followers, acolytes, intimate partners, friends, people who form together the pathological narcissistic space of the malignant narcissists.

These people are known as the in-group.

And within the in-group, the pro-social communal covert malignant narcissists is able to maintain functional long-term relationships in the workplace in his job with his team and in intimate relationships.

So he's perfectly functional within the in-group.

But the shocking thing and the reason we attribute pathology to this kind of person is that in the out group he becomes psychopathic. In the out group, he becomes sadistic.

When this kind of malignant narcissist is forced to interact with people who are not members of the in-group, then he becomes antisocial, violent, aggressive, sadistic, terrifying, monstrous, in short.

And this clear demarcation between in-group and out-group is what sets the pro-social communal malignant narcissists apart.

He identifies the people who are worthy of having relationships with him.

The people who deserve his largesse, his magnanimity, his benefaction, his compassion, his affection, his love, so to speak, what he identifies is love, and his commitment and investment.

These kind of people around him, they're the in-group.

They never dare to doubt him. They never criticize him. They mirror him the way he wants to see himself. They are unthinking robotic followers and fans and acolytes.

And so within the in-group, he is benevolent, he's benign, he's prosocial, is communal, he is helpful, he's compassionate, he is supportive, he is charitable, and he is altruistic within the in-group.

But then, when he comes across someone from the out-group, he is likely to attack, viciously, to destroy, to undermine, to challenge.

He becomes combative. He becomes belligerent. He becomes hateful. Negative affectivity takes over. Hatred, envy, rage, anger.

And we see a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Jekyll in the in group. Mr. Hyde in the outgroup.

This is what characterizes charismatic leaders, political leaders, business leaders, or even family leaders.

I want to read to you an extended excerpt from the work of Otto Kernberg, recent work published in 2020.

It's an article titled Malignant Narcissism and Large Group Regression, published in the Psychoanalytic Quarterly, Volume 89. Brilliant, as always.

And remember at all times what we were talking about. The three types of malignant narcissists, the grandiose, overt, high-functioning narcissists, good at his job, sucks at his relationships. The low functioning borderline malignant narcissists can do nothing right, not in relationships, not in his job, not in his career. It sucks in virtually everything.

And the covert, the covert malignant narcissists, who outwardly is actually a good guy, a nice guy, passionate, compassionate, pro-social, communal, helpful, charitable, altruistic etc but his benevolence, his benignity, his charity, his altruism are limited to the members of the in-group, the members who adulate him, the members who support him, the members who never criticize him, the members who follow him unthinkingly and unhesitatingly, robotically almost.

These people enjoy his sunshine. Everyone else is the enemy.

We call this dichotomous thinking. Dichotomous thinking is a kind of thinking, black and white, good versus evil, you're with me or you're against me.

And it is founded on a primitive defense mechanism, infantile defense mechanism known as splitting.

Okay, enough of Vaknin, and we go to someone a bit older and much wiser, Otto Kernberg.

He has written this in 2020. I want to explicate one concept in his work. It's called the second skin.

The second skin is a decisive intervention by leadership in order to protect the well-being, security and stability of the group's existence. I would have used the word firewall, but then I belong to another generation, evidently.

Okay, here we go. Otto Kernberg.

He discusses now charismatic leaders, most of which are malignant, prosocial, communal, covert malignant narcissists.

He says, the leaders narcissistic self-centeredness and grandiosity, his self-assured signaling what he believes the large group should think and do, and his promise for a brilliant future if he is followed, powerfully reassures the members of a regressed large group against the threat of the loss of individual identity, and provides them with a second skin of an idealizing mutual identity of all in identification with the leader.

The reduced cognitive level of functioning, characteristic of large groups, responds positively to simple slogans and cliches that the leader provides them with to confirm their value, uniqueness, importance and power. Simple slogans replace complex thinking and correspond to the large groups need to feel that they are intimately involved with the thinking of the great leader and understand him completely.

And at a deeper unconscious level, don't need to envy him, because they are one with him. Everybody is equal in the pursuit of simple ideals and in the proper symbolic expression of such ideas.

The well-rationalized aggression against out-groups is fostered by the leaders direct, crude and sadistic expression of animosity against such out-groups, devaluing and dehumanizing them while declaring the large group that he directs to be selected, ideal, morally justified, superior social group.

Aggressive outbursts against minorities is fostered, welcome, considered heroic and morally admirable, so that freedom to express destructive behavior excites the group and creates a contaminating festive atmosphere.

Bauerlord describes how, during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, the beating up of professors by revolutionary group in the middle of huge public gatherings contaminated the bystanders, so that massive engagement in physical attack and murder became welcome public spectacle.

The characteristic antisocial features of the leader with malignant narcissism are reflected in practically public dishonest behavior, matched with shameless denial of that behavior.

Hitler never acknowledged his clear, indirect instructions to eliminate potentially rivalrous leaders of his SA troops. He never acknowledged publicly nor in writing his instructions for mass murder of the Jewish population under his control, in spite of being the obvious ultimate source of these orders.

Today, by the way, this is known as plausible deniability.

Stalin continues Kernberg. Stalin would invite both privileged followers, whom he wished to honor, 40 at his place, and also those who already had been secretly condemned to be eliminated. This was sufficiently well known in his intimate circle to cause external anxiety in the invitees, which apparently greatly pleased and amused Stalin.

The leader's evident dishonesty, the self-assured expression of lies that may be easily recognized as such by an outside observer and a broader social environment of general community, is perceived by the regressed large group by the in-group as a courageous standing up to conventional truth, daring to say the impossible.

The leader is showing courage in changing his mind at any point and shifting over if necessary to declaring alternative choices of who is the selected enemy at any given moment.

The leaders decidedly assuming moral responsibility promotes a sense of freedom from moral constraints, excitement of moving with a powerful wave of political discontent and strife as it is manipulated from the top, and cemented by the suggestibility of the large group.

Repeated attacks, ridiculing and demeaning humiliation of selected enemies reinforced the group's enjoyment of sadistic behavior.

It was the inhumane cruelty of ISIS that exerted an exciting attractiveness to many early international followers.

This is an excellent description and a comprehensive one of the type of interaction between the covert, prosocial, communal malignant narcissists who becomes a charismatic leader and the in-group with which he interacts.

He lets them believe that they are superior, selected, chosen, therefore they are his natural milieu and he will never hurt them. He will never hurt them because they together as a team are going to attack the enemies and eradicate them and obliterate them.

And so this is the psychology of the social, pro-social, pro-social communal narcissists.

Another point mentioned by Kernberg is what I call, 20 years prior to Kernberg's article, I called it psychopathological resonance.

Kernberg elaborated on this point in 2020, but I was the first to suggest it more than 30 years prior to that I suggested that the pro-social communal narcissists, malignant narcissists, actually resonates with similar pathologies in the in group.

In other words, I suggested that membership in the in- group is not random, but it is based on a principle of mutual selection.

The members of the in-group select the malignant narcissists because they themselves in some ways or in many ways have tendencies to be malignant narcissists.

They're sadistic, they're psychopathic, they're antisocial, they're narcissistic, they're grandiose.

So there is a psychopathological resonance.

Psychopathology of the malignant narcissist chosen as a charismatic leader.

His facade of prosocibility and communality, all these resonate with identical or similar psychopathologies in his followers, in his acolytes, in his psychophants, in his fans and in people who support him, his supporters.

And so it's not a random situation.

Anyhow, this is the first video I'm making about the prosocial communal narcissists. There will be more to follow.

I think the pro-social communal malignant narcissists is the biggest threat to the existence of the human species nowadays. It's a big threat.

Whether the pro-social communal malignant narcissists is involved in gender studies or in politics or in show business, wherever the pro-social communal malignant narcissist is involved there is strife, there is division, there is conflict and ultimately there is self-destruction.

There is a new extensive update to the website and the Android app that contain the transcripts to all my videos on YouTube, all 1,400 of them. The website is waking-ttocks.com Vakening talks and talks and talks. Will this guy ever stop talking?

Poor SIAPS!

Okay, Shoshanim, Amadot. Look it up.

Today we are going to discuss hate bombing.

Yes, not love bombing, but hate bombing. The opposite of love bombing. The antonym, if you wish.

It's a very interesting phenomenon which serves to expose some dynamics of narcissism, long neglected by self-styled experts online and even by scholars offline.

Here's the thing.

The borderline has too many emotions. Her emotions are too strong, too powerful for her. Her emotions overwhelm her, drown her, dysregulate her.

The narcissist has too many cognitions, especially distorted cognitions, such as grandiosity. The narcissist's cognitions overwhelm him, drown him, dysregulate him.

So remember this equation. Borderline, dysregulated emotions, narcissists, dysregulated cognitions.

Before I proceed, I anticipate your comments. He equals she. Everything I say applies to male and female narcissists. The same way. The dynamic is identical. 50% of all narcissists are women nowadays. Quite an accomplishment. Bravo feminism.

Okay, enough with politics, Vaknin. Get to the point if you are capable of it.

So the point is that when your cognition overwhelms you, when you're a cognitive animal, when you have no positive emotions to tap, when you are unable to access positive emotions, then anything can fit into your cognition. You can think about anything. Anything could become a reason for bragging, boasting, the narcissist is proud of things which would make other people cringe or flinch.

And yet the narcissist finds these things, events in his past, alleged talents, ostensible skills, and so on so forth. He finds these things reasons for pride. He's proud of them. This is known as locus of grandiosity. So the narcissists, for example, can be proud of being the ultimate victim. Can be proud of being the most amazing criminal, can be proud of having failed consistently, or having brought on the biggest bankruptcy in the history of his country. All these are reasons to be proud. All these are loki of grandiosity. The locus of grandiosity is anything, any event, any environment, any person, any place, any accomplishment, any failure, any trade, any behavior, any action, any decision, any choice, any source of supply, anything, absolutely anything, that sets the narcissists apart, that renders the narcissists unique and special, at least in his own eyes. So, the locus of grandiosity is the key to deciphering and decoding the narcissist behavior. And I want today to discuss a very unique locus of grandiosity, very rare, but still there. The vast majority of relationships with narcissists start with a process known as love bombing. Now, love bombing is not grooming. As usual, self-styled experts online confuse the two and make a mess and a hash of things.

Grooming is limited to minors and is usually the purvey and behavior of psychopaths and sexual predators, especially sexual sadis. So this is grooming. You cannot groom an adult, only a minor, only a child. But love bombing.

So most relationships start with love bombing. Where you are the focus of attention, where you can do no wrong, where you are being idealized, where you are perfection reified, where the most drop-dead gorgeous and hyper-intelligent person to have walked to the earth, etc., etc.

This is very flattering and very addictive. This is love bombing.

However, sometimes relationships with narcissists start with hate bombing.

The narcissist is full of scorn, of contempt, of derision. The narcissist criticizes you, chastises you, castigates you, humiliates you, berates you, demeans and degrades you. At the very beginning of the religiousry, long before there's anything to share. The very first interactions, the first text message, the first chat on a dating app, the first exchange or intercourse, to use the 19th century word, the first exchange on a social media website, the first video, the first photo, the first text message, they are negative.

This kind of narcissists puts you down from the first moment. He establishes not only his superiority, but equally your inferiority, your inadequacy. So this narcissists emphasizes, lever brainwashes you into believing that you are a bed object unworthy possibly ugly stupid grandiose and arrogant a helpless, hopeless, a failure, a loser, and so on so forth. This is hate bombing, the mirror image of love bombing. And amazingly, hate bombing does lead to relationships with narcissists, does result in the formation of a shared fantasy. This is, of course, when the counterparty with a potential intimate partner or friend, they are masochistic, self-hating, self-loathing, and self-rejecting, the narcissists becomes an externalized introject, a voice that confirms, supports, buttresses, enhances and magnifies the bed object inside the potential partner or friend or whatever child, spouse and so on. So we have two types of shared fantasy. The most common type starts with idealization. The less common type, so idealization through love bombing. The less common type starts with evaluation actually through hate bombing. Now, the latter type of shared fantasy, this second type of shared fantasy, which no one seems to discuss, I believe this is the first video ever made about this kind of launching of a relationship. So usually these are malignant, psychopathic and sometimes sadistic narcissists. The locus of grandiosity of the malignant, psychopathic and sadistic narcissist is that he is invulnerable. He has no vulnerabilities. He has no weaknesses. He has no weaknesses. He has no chinks in the armor. He cannot be destabilized or hurt. He cannot be affected. He cannot be infected. He is godlike. He is fireworn from the slings and arrows of cruel time and cruel people. He is invulnerable. He is unemotional.

So this kind of narcissist brags and boasts about not having emotions. He says, I have no emotions to speak of. Therefore, I'm immune to the vicissitudes, ups and downs and dysregulation of other people. I'm much more resilient and much stronger. I'm empowered by my unemotionality and invulnerability.

This kind of narcissist are incapable of attaching. They have flat attachment, not insecure attachment. Insecure attachment implies an attempt to attach which constantly fails, approach avoidance.

This kind of narcissist doesn't even try to approach. He is, again, proud, he is vinglorious. He is proud of his lack of attachment. He says, I never get attached. I never fall in love. I never bond. And this is the source of my strength. I am a lone wolf because I'm utterly self-sufficient. I need no one. I care about no one. No one can pull at my heartstrings. No one can blackmail me emotionally. No one can inflict pain on me. No one can compromise me in any way, shape, or form.

He regards people as a kind of malware, computer viruses, if you wish.

So invulnerable, unemotional, unattached, incapable of getting attachedor bonded, and therefore immune. Imm immune to the world, immune to life itself, immune to other people, rigid and heartlessly, callously, cruel, although sometimes this cruelty of sadism are disguised as altruism, when the malignant psychopathic narcissist in question is of the prosocial or communal variety.

And I encourage you to watch the videos about pro-social, communal, hyper-moral narcissists, rigidly moral narcissists.

So let's summarize this section. It's not easy to wrap your mind around.

Typical narcissists start with love bombing. They idealize you, and then they launch a shared fantasy, and then they introduce you coercively or not into the shared fantasy. They cajole you, they persuade you, they charm you, they cause you to become a figment or an element in the shared fantasy.

This is what 97% of all narcissists do.

3% of narcissists, known as malignant, psychopathic or sadistic narcissists, they don't start by idealizing. They don't love more. They hate born. They start by devaluing exactly the opposite.

And they cater to your self-destructiveness, self-rejection, self-hatred, self-loathing, self-defeat. They become this scourge of God. They are kind of a punishment inflicted on you by the universe itself. You're spiraling down and they're there to push you over the edge, over the cliff. Forgive me for mixing my metaphors.

Now, these types of narcissists are proud, they're grandiose, they're arrogant about, they feel superior because they regard themselves as invulnerable.

I don't care about anyone and anything. I don't need anyone or anything. I'm not dependent on anyone or anything. I'm unemotional. I never attach. I am rigid. I'm heartless. When necessary, I'm abrasive and cruel.

If this type of narcissistic is also pro-social or communal, they transform all these into advantages, into merits. They say, for example, my cruelty is a kind of tough love. I'm being altruistic. It's for your own good. And so on.

But the fact is that they embark upon a shared fantasy which is destructive to you, sadistic in the sense that they enjoy the pain that they inflict on you, and a shared fantasy whose main target, whose main goal is to devalue, humiliate, mortify, degrade, demean and berate you, put you down, essentially.

This kind of narcissists are transaction.

Now, all narcissists regard other people as useful tools in both senses of the word tool. They regard other people as collateral damage.

The narcissist perceives his life and the environment as a battlefield. There's a war going on between the narcissist and the rest of humanity. It's a zero-sum game. The narcissist's win is other people's loss.

And so the narcissist needs to ascertain that he has the upper hand. He regards other people as useful instruments or collateral damage in this ongoing warfare.

The impact that the narcissist has on other people's lives is perceived by the narcissist as a mere byproduct or side effect of the pursuit of grandiosity affirming narcissistic supply, sadistic supply, or even self-supply.

Sometimes the narcissist has a beneficial impact on other people's lives. If the narcissist is a healer, a guru, a teacher, they may end up having very good effects, benevolent effects, impacts long-term on other people's lives.

But even this is perceived by the narcissist as a byproduct, a side effect. There's no motivation or intention to help people.

The narcissist does everything in order to obtain narcissistic supply, period.

When the narcissist is prosocial and communal, it's because these are easier ways, the path of least resistance to obtaining supply. That's it.

If he becomes a fixer or a rescuer or a savior or a healer or a guru or a teacher or a mentor, it's just because it's the easiest way to garner and harvest narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic supply, sadistic supply, or self-supply, these are the only things that have any meaning in the narcissist's life.

And people are dispensable, interchangeable, meaningless, insignificant others.

This applies to all narcissists.

So when you talk to the narcissist, imagine the following dialogue.

Do you care about me?

Narcissist: I do, I care a lot about you.

Why? you ask, why do you care about me?

The narcissist answers: because you are useful to me. I like your company, you help me, you service me, you solve my problems, you're here for me, etc. You're useful to me.

And then you ask, okay but don't you have any emotions for me when you see me or something? Don't you react emotionally?

The narcissist says, proudly, I don't have emotions. I don't do emotions. I do relationship maintenance. I do business. I do give maintenance. I do business. I do give and take.

Emotions are for whistles. Emotions are for dumb people. Emotions are weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

And I'm Godlike. I'm invulnerable. I'm strong. I'm resilient. I'm all powerful, omnipotent, I'm all knowing.

So you ask, why do you stay in touch with me?

And the narcissist responds, I owe you and I repay, I always repay my debts because I'm much more moral than other people.

Plus, you could still be useful in the future. It's a kind of hedge, a kind of insurance policy.

This is a typical narcissistic mindset. This is not unique to any variant of narcissism.

It's not that it's only cerebrals, only somatics, only coverts, or only obverts, or only malignant, or only sadistic.

But there is something unique when it comes to malignant, psychopathic and sadistic narcissists.

Their world is inverted.

Now, the narcissist world is sufficiently distorted to be vertiginous, sufficiently upside-down topsy-turvy to cause vertigo, to render you dizzy.

Now imagine that the malignant narcissist or sadistic narcissists, their world is an inversion of the narcissist's distorted and inverted world.

Can you go there? Can you even contemplate this? Can you conceive of this?

It's really outlandish, out of this world.

And so, whereas the typical narcissist regards you as a utility, as useful, in some way, in one way or another, you allow him to idealize himself. You collude with him in the shared fantasy. You provide him with sex, with services, with supply, sadistic supply, you're providing with sex with services with supply sadistic or narcissistic with safety you are there, you're always present, you fulfill a maternal role.

This is a typical narcissist. Narcissists, they are reactive to these offerings, to these gifts that you carry, and they bond with you, they create with you a shared something known as a shared fantasy.

It is shared after all. It's a kind of a cult. It's a collusion or collaboration. It takes two to tango.

This is the typical narcissist. And the typical narcissist starts off by convincing himself that he is falling for you, that he is in love with you, or that he has affection for you, or that he somehow understands you. So he resonates with you empathically. He provides with sacor he's on your side he has your back.

So the typical narcissist starts off with love bombing which leads to a fantasy where both of you are united, both of you are symbiotically merged and fused against the world, against all other people.

The malignant narcissists, the psychopathic narcissists, their shared fantasy is totally inverted. It's a mirror image of the typical narcissist's shared fantasy.

Malignant psychopathic sadistic narcissists start off, initiate the relationship with devaluation and discard.

It's like the shared fantasy is reversed in time. It's like time travel.

The malignant psychopathic sadistic narcissist starts by devaluing you, insulting you, humiliating you, shouting at you, attacking you, berating you, demeaning you, heaping scorn on you, holding you in contempt and utter ostentatious disdain, putting you down, and so on so forth, devaluation, and then discards you. He blocks you on social media, even before you have met, and he does it consistently.

So it's as if the shared fantasy is reversed in time. The malignant psychopathic narcissists starts with devaluation and discard.

Why is that?

Because remember, the malignant, psychopathic and sadistic narcissists are goal-oriented. All psychopaths are goal-oriented. And the vast majority of sadists are psychopathic. So there's goal orientation there.

What is the goal of the shared fantasy? Do you remember?

The goal of the shared fantasy is to reenact early childhood failed separation individuation.

The narcissist has failed as a child to separate from the mother, to become an individual. Now he needs you to act as a maternal figure from which he can separate successfully and become an individual, grow up, become an adult.

So this is the aim of the shared fantasy, this is the end point, this is the goal of the shared fantasy.

The psychopathic narcissist sees no reason not to go directly to the goal. It doesn't understand why it has to go through a whole convoluted, long-winded shared fantasy.

If the goal is devaluation, if the goal is separation, and the only way to obtain separation is via devaluation. If he has to devalue the potential intimate partner in order to obtain separation, he says to himself, let me start with the devaluation.

Why need to go through phases like love bombing that have nothing to do with the devaluation? Nothing to do with the separation?

I need to get to the point. I don't have time. I don't want to waste my resources which are scarce anyhow. I don't want to invest. I don't want to commit. I don't want to cathect. I don't want to put an effort into this.

I need you to act as my maternal figure because I need to separate from you. And in order to separate from you, I need to devalue you. So I'm going to devalue you now, ab initio, from the beginning.

I'm not going to go through the other phases which have nothing to do with separation, nothing to do with individuation, nothing to do with devaluation, nothing to do with the aim of the fantasy.

I'm goal-oriented. I'm going to realize and actualize the goal of the fantasy to start with.

This is the whole point of the fantasy, says the malignant psychopathic narcissists.

So I'm going to start by devaluing you and discarding you.

It's a form of negative idealization, mythological demonization, conversion of you into a persecutory object, into an enemy.

So the psychopathic malignant narcissist comes across a potential intimate partner, a potential friend, a potential spouse, a potential colleague, comes across someone who can collaborate in a shared fantasy or can become a part of the shared fantasy.

Whereas the typical narcissists would start to love-bomb and idealize in order to get to the point of devaluation and separation, the psychopathic malignant narcissists would go straight to the point he will start by devaluing the potential intimate partner, potential friend, he will start by devaluing, he will start by discarding, pushing that person away.

He would act aggressively, abrasively, humiliate, block, ban, I mean, go crazy, become sometimes violent.

And at the same time he would devalue the potential partner he would hate bomb rather than love bomb hate bombing is a form of negative idealization.

The partner, the potential target is idealized but she is idealized as a mythological demon.

So the malignant psychopathic narcissists when he comes across someone who could fit into a shared fantasy demonizes her, idealizes her as a mythological malevolent entity.

So he exaggerates the evil and wickedness and malice and malevolence of the partner.

That's his way of negatively idealizing her.

Naturally, the shared fantasies of malignant psychopathic narcissists are extremely short, nasty, and brutal. They could last hours, sometimes, days.

In rare cases, the malignant psychopathic narcissist meets his match. He comes across someone who he believes could serve as his partner, his collaborator in a shared fantasy.

He says to himself, wow, she's the one. I want her in my shared fantasy.

I'm going to devalue her right now. I'm going to discard her right now. I'm going to insult her. I'm going to humiliate her. I'm going to shout at her. I'm going to verbally abuse her. I'm going to treat her coercively. I'm going to do all these things to her because she's perfect. She's the one I want to separate from. She is a perfect bad mother, perfect maternal figure. She's demonic. She's mythologically demonic. She is ideal. No one has been more demonic than ever.

So he says to himself, I must have her. If anyone is worth separating from, she is the one.

And I need to incorporate her industry in the shared fantasy now.

Because I can incorporate her now and in two hours I can separate from her, devalue her, discard her, render her an enemy, a secretary object, and I'm on my way to becoming an individual, to individuate.

I skip all the stages of love bombing and this and that. I skip all this nonsensical, mushy, tree-hugging mess. I don't need any of this.

I'm tough, I'm resilient, I'm rough, I'm strong, I'm empowered, I'm untouchable, I'm immune. I am the malignant psychopathic narcissist so I can go straight to the point, avoiding and skipping all the interim stages which are for more supple and compliant and submissive narcissists.

Malignant psychopathic narcissists looks down at typical narcissists. He considers them weak, too weak for his own taste.

Actually, malignant psychopathic narcissists take advantage of typical narcissists. They abuse them. They regard typical narcissists as delusional and gullible, which they are.

So sometimes, the malignant psychopathic narcissist comes across this perfect partner in the shared fantasy.

She is everything the malignant psychopathic narcissists has ever looked for in a partner from which he can separate by devaluate.

But on rare occasions, there is a misjudgment.

Whereas psychopathic malignant narcissists are likely to be attracted to submissive, pliant, malleable, weak, damaged, and broken women, or partners. Again, men, women, women, men, it's all interchangeable. The genders are interchangeable.

So whereas male, psychopathic, malignant narcissists are likely to be attracted to this type of partner, as I said, weak, malleable, pliant, submissive, and so on so forth.

Sometimes they misjudge. They don't realize that behind the facade of submissiveness, compliance, obedience, weakness, femininity, or masculinity, and so behind this facade there is actually a dangerous predator.

In rare cases where the potential partner is misidentified and is actually another malignant or sadistic narcissist, they have met their match, and there's a battle of wills which evolves.

The original sadistic, malignant, psychopathic narcissist tries to devalue and discard the other psychopathic malignant narcissist.

And so you have two psychopathic sadistic malignant narcissists in a joint battle, fighting each other. They're at war like, you know, Godzilla and King Kong. They're at war.

And the amazing thing is one of them is going to give in. One of them is going to become codependent or even borderline. One of them is going to become dysregulated. One of them is going to become submissive, like in nature. You know, one of them is going to submit. One animal submits to the other visibly, prostrates itself.

So when you have two malignant psychopathic sadistic narcissists who misidentified each other and now are trying to devalue each other in order to reach the conclusion of the shared fantasy you have a god-awful mess you have an enormous explosion of externalized aggression acting out and crazy making and insanity.

One of them surrenders that's inevitable in such a situation. One of them becomes dysregulated and cognitively regulated and essentially codependent and with borderline behaviors, borderline personality organization. They manifestdisregulated abuse and coercive behaviors toward each other.

So you see the two, in the initial phase, you see the two psychopathic malignant narcissists cycling very fast it's a kind of ritualized approach avoidance but they cycle very fast between aggressive and submissive violent and withdrawing avoidant and approaching in your face and demurring, coercive and obedient.

They cycle, both of them, cycle very rapidly among these behaviors. And it's an amazing sight to behold, because it's like a kaleidoscope, but it's like shape shifting. It's as if there's a total dysregulation of the self-state system. And multiple self-states, a dozen self-states, are trying to compete for the same physical body, from the same space.

And you can see everything shifting, sometimes within minutes, when each one of the two malignant, sadistic, psychopathic narcissists is trying to subdue the other. It's trying to convert the other into a typical partner in a shared fantasy, a partner who can be then devalued and discarded and allow for separation, individualation.

This attempt, this clash between these two dinosaurs, T-Rex and Brontosaurus, or I don't know what, this is earth-shattering, earth-quaking, it's an amazing sight to behold.

In the inverted fantasy, inverted shared fantasy of the psychopathic, malignant narcissists, typically following the devaluation and the discard, the malignant, psychopathic, etc. would just go no contact with the target, with the victim.

Because mission accomplished, separation has been accomplished, and the target has been devalued and discarded, and the narcissist, who is essentially a psychopath, can move on to the next target, to the next goal.

So, in a typical case, there will be total withdrawal, total avoidance, no contact, and the narcissist, the psychopathic, malignant, sadistic narcissist would simply vanish, disappear.

Unlike typical narcissists, psychopathic, malignant sadistic narcissists rarely hover, actually. They rarely hover because they have never gone through the snapshotting idealization phase. They went immediately to the evaluation and discard.

They didn't have time to create a representation of the shared fantasy inside their minds. So while they do have internal objects, these internal objects are not idealized. They are persecutory. And these internal objects are very rudimentary, very primitive, because there hasn't been enough time to idealize them and evolve them. They don't have a life story.

And so these objects, these internal objects are not energetic. They're not imbued with energy. They don't create dissonance. They don't create anxiety.

So the sadistic, psychopathic, malignant narcissists doesn't ever need to hover, except in extremely rare cases.

But when the sadistic psychopathic narcissists, the malignant narcissist comes across another malignant narcissist. And when they compete for ownership of the shared fantasy, who will devalue whom? Who will be in charge? Who will control whom? Who will abuse whom?

When this battle of the giants goes on, finally, one of them transitions to the role of a victim, letting the other one initiate the separation by betraying them. And this is the famous betrayal fantasy.

So, four scenarios with a shared fantasy.

A typical narcissists, love-bombs, idealizes you, devalues you and discards you in order to separate from you and individuate and typically this kind of narcissists would hover you unless you have mortified him.

The second type of shared fantasy is a malignant narcissist who, from the get-go, from first moment, devalues you and discards you because this is the goal of the shared fantasy and their goal-oriented.

Having devalued and discarded you, this kind of narcissist obtains separation and because he doesn't have a developed internal object representing you in his mind, he doesn't need to hover.

That's the second type of shared fantasy.

The third type of shared fantasy is two malignant narcissists, one of them having misidentified the other, and now they're in battle over control, over dominance and submission, over devaluation and idealization, over everything.

The shared fantasy is intact, but it incorporates extreme elements of abuse, coercion, and aggression, sometimes devolving to violence.

And the fourth type of a shared fantasy is when one malignant narcissists becomes dominant and the other one becomes submissive.

In this particular case, the submissive malignant narcissists would claim the role of a victim and would perceive himself as having been betrayed. And this is the betrayal fantasy.

I have videos dedicated to the betrayal fantasy on this channel. Now you can search the channel either by using keywords, but much, much more easily you could visit the playlist on this channel. They are thematic playlists. And you can choose the theme. You could just scroll through the playlist and find a video that answers your question.

So hate bombing and the role of the malignant narcissists, they are much neglected in literature since the 1970s, and they are literally nowhere to be found online among self-styled experts.

The shared fantasy of the malignant narcissist is a mirror image, an inverted image of the shared fantasy of a typical narcissist.

It starts with devaluation, not with idealization. It aims to discard you long before you have become the narcissist partner. It is goal-oriented and it is about power.

The psychopaths are about power play with the role of narcissistic supply, serving as a kind of signaling, power signaling. The more narcissistic supply I have, the more powerful I am.

It's about power, because this kind of narcissists feels proud of having power. The locus of the grandiosity of this kind of narcissists feels proud of having power.

The locus of the grandiosity of this kind of narcissists is in the power that this kind of narcissists possesses in his own mind, a god.

He regards himself as invulnerable, untouchable, immune to the consequences of his actions, unemotional, unattached, rigid, heartless, sometimes moral, and definitely abrasive and cruel, resilient.

So the shared fantasy of the malignant narcissists would reflect these preferences in grandiosity, the specific cognitive distortions of this particular type of narcissists.

It's a psychopath, so it's goal oriented. It's a sadist. So pain has a role here, a positive role. And it's a narcissist. So there's a need for separation and the shared fantasy.

And you thought narcissism is nothing but arrogance of an a-hole. It is, but there's a lot more to it than this.

So I've enjoyed my voice and your silence. Stick around for the next episode of the Sam Vaknin Horror Show.