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Narcissist: Molting Snake Down Rabbit Hole, Phoenix (Narcissistic Supply)

Uploaded 1/11/2025, approx. 11 minute read

How many of you have played the game of snakes and ladders when you were lads?

You have this board, and then you roll dice, and you move your pawn on the board.

If you reach the bottom of a ladder, you climb up instantaneously and meteorically to the top of the board.

However, if you reach the head of a snake, you descend down this slithery slope to the tail of the snake at the very bottom of the hierarchy.

And this is snakes and ladders, and it reminds me very much of narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic supply is a game of snakes and ladders because the availability of supply, the regularity of supply, the quality of supply, they all depend on the rolling of the dice. Life's dice, the reaction of the environment.

The narcissist acts in certain ways, behaves typically as behavioral patterns, says certain things, utterances, and then awaits the feedback and the input from the environment.

And it is this input that determines the inner composure and the psychodynamics of the narcissist.

It's a bit like snakes and ladders.

You can go up stratospherically with a compliment or praise or applause or attention or adulation or affirmation or fandom.

And then you can descend to the inner recesses of hell on the back of a snake when as a narcissist you're rebuffed ignored criticized humiliated and shamed especially in, something known as narcissistic mortification.

It all depends on the resolve of the player, or the resolve of the narcissist in this case.


Why do we keep playing snakes and ladders, constantly frustrated, constantly losing. Why this game is a form of medieval torture spread on a board? Why do people keep playing it? Why does the narcissists keep seeking narcissistic supply despite all the setbacks and the failures and the defeats and the humiliations and the disgrace sometimes why where does this resolve and resilience where do they come from?

They are founded on the belief in changes of fortune and serendipity.

This is known as magical thinking.

The narcissist is entitled.

He believes that he deserves, deserves the best, deserves the most, deserves to be unique, deserves attention, he deserves, or she deserves, half of all narcissists are women.

This sense of desert, I am owed something, I'm entitled to something, is at the core of the narcissist's magical thinking because it is justice that rules the narcissist's life.

The narcissists believes that cosmic justice will see to it that he ends up being recognized or rich or unique or attended to or catered to or serviced or whatever it's all part of the cosmic fabric, cosmic pattern, if you wish, karmic thinking.

The narcissist says to himself I will go on playing, i'm resolved to continue to play.

Because I believe in an inevitable, in in in a lackable change of fortune.

I believe in serendipity, says the narcissist.

It's because I deserve it. I deserve these miracles. I deserve these secrets. I deserve this law of attraction.

And that is, of course, a prime example of magical thinking.

Magical thinking, therefore, is the motivational, attitudinal background to narcissistic supply, or more precisely to the pursuit of narcissistic supply.


But what happens when narcissistic supply despite everything, despite all the beliefs and the faith and the magical thinking and the miracles and the inevitable serendipity or changing fortune, despite all this, there's no narcissistic supply. What happens when narcissistic supply becomes chronically or structurally deficient, a state known as collapse.

It's very difficult on the narcissist.

Narcissistic collapse is a harrowing experience because narcissistic collapse, the continued absence of narcissistic supply or continued depletion of narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic collapse challenges the narcissist's worldview, the narcissists self-concept, the narcissistic self-image and self-perception as deserving, as entitled, as special, as unique, as Godlike, it challenges, it underminescognitive distortion, aka grandiosity.

The lack of supply or the dwindling of supply kind of collapse around the narcissist his world. They undermine the foundations of his vent and shroud, his worldview.

He can no longer, when narcissistic supply is absent, the narcissist can no longer make sense of the world, of his life, everything looks meaningless.

He is angry and enraged and indignant because he deserves narcissistic supply. Something is wrong in the world. Reality is misconstrued. Stupid people, envious of him, are taking him down.

He resorts to paranoid ideation.

And so the narcissist unravels in the absence of narcissistic supply.

The glue that holds the narcissist together is gone, and all the pieces and fragments and shards of the narcissist fall on the floor, like so many pieces of an ill-fitting jigsaw puzzle.

The narcissist attempts to conjure up or to whip up new supply by coaxing people, cosigning them, by somehow pushing them to provide him with supply. He recruits new sources of narcissistic supplying within new and revived shared fantasies.

So it's desperation. When narcissistic supply is in short supply, there is desperation.

The narcissist becomes destitute devastated he catastrophizes anticipates the worst and he flails about he becomes hysterical and much and more and more compulsive in his attempts to reconstruct a pathological narcissistic space within which narcissistic supply will be replenished become plentiful and sources of supply would be abandoned.

And it is a labor of desperation. It's absolute panic. It's a panic reaction.

If this fails, the narcissist tries to self-supply.

I have several videos on this channel regarding this phenomenon of self-supply.

When the narcissist fails to construct an environment from which he can extract narcissistic supply on a regular basis an environment where narcissistic supply would be predictable and plentiful then the narcissist disengages from the environment becomes schizoid constricts his or her life isolates himself becomes introverted and begins to build from the bottom up a channel or a conduit of self-supply, a system that will provide him with supply which is self-generated.

How this done what is the nature of this supply I've dealt with in multiple videos on my channel search the channel for self-supply or search the mind of the narcissist playlist on this channel.

But sometimes reality is so overwhelming that never mind how delusional the narcissist is, self-supply spatters and then grinds to a halt and ceases altogether.

So this is going down the rabbit hole initially above ground there is this nice entrance the sources of supply narcissistic supply pathological narcissistic space the environment which is conducive to the generation and consumption of supply.

And then when this fails, the narcissist goes into the rabbit hole, on stage one of the rabbit hole, is self-supply.

And if this fails, the narcissist descends even deeper, actually freefalls even deeper.

He becomes depressed and more rarely emotionally dysregulated, a bit like borderline.

The narcissist at this stage, when regular supply has failed and self-supply has failed, at this stage the narcissist acts out by introducing distractions into his life.

So he may suddenly travel all the time, shop compulsively, have casual sex, abuse substances. Whatever the case may be, the idea would be to occupy oneself to the point that there would be no time to confront the terrifying fact of the absence of narcissistic supply.

When you're busy traveling, when you're busy shopping, when you're busy having casual sex and picking up dates, when you're busy at whatever the case is, when you're busy collecting things, hoarding, when you're busy doing these things, your mind is not free to dwell on the painful, shameful, and disintegrative lack of narcissistic supply. You simply forget about it.

And so these are the distractions.

Other narcissists who are confronted with the situation of lack of regular supply and lack of self supply, other narcissists choose drama.

They are having torrid and ill-fated affairs. They invest in risky ventures. They find themselves acting criminally, anti-socially.

So distractions and drama are the two solutions and their psychological function is to clutter, occupy the mind of the narcissist in order to avoid the problem of deficient narcissistic supply.

When you're busy, you're too busy to realize that you're not obtaining supply.

The life of the narcissist becomes chaotic.

Distractions and drama are not conducive to any structure and order.

And it is this chaos that allows him to suspend his addiction to and dependence on narcissistic supply.

We could therefore say that distracting activity, not distractive, but distracting activities, distractions and drama are full-fledged substitutes for narcissistic supply and I've dealt with it in my video yesterday about the role of drama in cluster B personality disorders.

This is very close to the bottom of the rabbit hole.

And when distractions and drama collude in the narcissist's life, they sometimes get out of control. They snowball into an avalanche which threatens to consume the narcissists.

Destructions can easily deteriorate into self-mutilation and self-harm, for example by consuming drugs and alcohol. And drama can easily devolve into crime and worse.

So this last phase, the bottom of the rabbit hole, often devolves into self-defeating and self-destructive acts.

This is the equivalent of molting or shedding ectesis in snakes. You know, snakes shed their skin. It's not actually skin, but never mind. Snakes shed their skin, they molt and they grow new skin.

At the bottom of the rabbit hole of narcissistic supply, this is exactly what the narcissist does. He sheds his skin. He seeks to reinvent himself to create a new, grandiose narrative.

It is the rebirth of the narcissists, the rebirth of sorts of Renaissance. The narcissist emerges from the ashes and you Phoenix. It is a form of creative or disruptive destruction.

So this is the sequence.

Regular supply, all is well. The narcissist is he's egolicolic and egosyntonic.

Then regular supply dries up. The narcissist attempts to self-supply.

If reality is too much, too harsh, reality pushes back and does not allow the narcissist to deceive himself or delude himself into self-supply, self-supply dies away and is not available.

At that point, the narcissist acts out the way a borderline does and also becomes emotionally disregulated and or mood-labile, very reminiscent of borderline.

And then the acting out of the narcissists involves drama or distracting activities, distractions, or both.

The idea is simply to forget everything about narcissistic supply. I'm so busy right now, I don't have time to mourn or grieve the absence of narcissistic supply.

But these activities, the drama and the distractions, lead to self-destruction or self-defeat.

And the narcissist then needs to reinvent himself from scratch, from zero, to rise from the ashes. There's a new, colorful plumed phoenix, reinvent, be reborn, and find a new, or construct a new narrative and a new shared fantasy.

You've heard of all these people who find religion in prison. Yeah, they are born again.

This is an example of narcissistic molting or narcissistic shedding.

And as always, it's reminiscent of a snake or comparable to a snake.

Because narcissists, all being said and done, are snakes.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.


Narcissist as Spoiled Brat

Narcissists require attention and narcissistic supply, and when they cannot obtain it, they may experience decompensation, which can lead to acting out in various ways. Narcissists may resort to several adaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, passive-aggressive behavior, paranoid narratives, and masochistic avoidance. These behaviors are all self-generated sources of narcissistic supply. Masochistic narcissists may direct their fury inwards, punishing themselves for their failure to elicit supply, and this behavior has the added benefit of forcing those closest to them to pay attention to them.


How Narcissist Experiences His Collapse (Grandiosity Bubbles and Delusional Solutions)

When a narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply, they experience a phenomenon known as narcissistic collapse, leading to various internal dynamics and emotional responses. This collapse can result in a range of maladaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, and paranoid ideation, as the narcissist attempts to cope with their perceived failures and maintain a sense of self-worth. The absence of supply can trigger severe emotional dysregulation, withdrawal from reality, and even psychotic episodes, as the narcissist struggles to reconcile their grandiose self-image with the harshness of reality. Ultimately, the narcissist's reliance on external validation creates a precarious existence, where the loss of supply leads to profound feelings of emptiness and self-destruction.


Narcissist Re-idealizes Discarded Sources of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists maintain discarded sources of supply in a mental reserve and may seek them out when other options are unavailable, attempting to recycle these sources for validation. To reconnect with a devalued source, they must re-idealize it without admitting past mistakes, creating a narrative that reconciles their previous devaluation with the new idealized view. Old sources of supply should remain indifferent to the narcissist's attempts to reconnect, as this indifference is intolerable to them and deprives them of the attention they crave. Ultimately, narcissists view everyone as potential sources of supply, even enemies, as any emotional response, positive or negative, serves to validate their existence.


Narcissist's Routines

Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist's routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Narcissistic Supply: Narcissist's Drug

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that individuals, particularly narcissists, seek from their environment to maintain their self-worth and self-esteem. Unlike normal individuals who can tolerate a moderate amount of attention, narcissists are insatiable and manipulate others to provide them with constant validation through a fabricated persona known as the false self. This supply can be categorized into primary narcissistic supply, which includes any form of attention, and secondary narcissistic supply, which encompasses aspects of a stable and successful life. The narcissist conditions those around them to fulfill specific roles that cater to their need for validation, effectively creating a pathological space where they feel secure and valued.


Narcissist's Objects and Possessions

Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic supply, and the narcissist often compares people to the inanimate. Narcissists collect proofs and trophies of their sexual prowess, dramatic talent, past wealth, or intellectual achievements, and these objects operate through the mechanism of narcissistic branding. The narcissist is a pathogen who transforms his human and non-human environment alike, objectifying people and anthropomorphizing objects to optimize or maximize narcissistic supply.


Narcissist’s Self-supply Techniques

Narcissists often resort to self-supply when external sources of narcissistic supply are unavailable, using techniques such as future orientation, self-referential ideation, and contemptuous withholding to maintain their self-esteem and avoid collapse. When faced with a lack of supply, they may become cerebral and auto-erotic, redirecting their emotional and sexual energies inward, while an excess of supply can lead to hypersexuality and paranoid ideation. Both deficient and excessive supply create problems for narcissists, prompting them to develop delusional fantasies about their superiority or conspiracies against them. Ultimately, self-supply can reduce harmful behaviors towards others, as narcissists become more self-contained and less reliant on external validation. The focus in treating narcissism should be on fostering healthy self-supply techniques that do not devolve into paranoia or delusion.


No Narcissistic Supply Self Supply Or Forced Supply

Narcissists rely on a flow of narcissistic supply to maintain their self-image and emotional stability, often seeking intimate partners to help regulate this supply. When they face a depletion of supply due to disillusionment or external circumstances, they may resort to various coping mechanisms, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, or paranoid ideation. These strategies can lead to a complete withdrawal from reality or aggressive outbursts, as the narcissist struggles to reconcile their grandiose self-perception with the absence of validation. Ultimately, the lack of supply can push narcissists toward self-destructive behaviors or personality disorders, blurring the lines between different psychological conditions.

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