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Narcissist No Toilet Paper: Aggressive and Brittle, Not Soft and Strong

Uploaded 7/4/2018, approx. 1 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

The narcissist's personality is precariously poised, his access to and intimations of his positive emotions restricted and ambiguous, and his overpowering negative emotions so rampant that the narcissist needs to compensate for his vulnerabilities with a pyrotechnic display of dominance and abuse.

Narcissists often call themselves alpha males, while actually they are mere bullies.

But such antisocial maltreatment of others, especially of his nearest and dearest, such mistreatment does not render the narcissist strong, either in reality or in the eyes of others.

He does, however, endow the narcissist with a reputation for obnoxiousness and even repellent clownishness.

Similarly, when the narcissist does his thwarted imitation of being soft, the thespian effort strains the seams of his affected contact.

The narcissist becomes maudlin, maudlin exaggerates, cries, goes over the top with demonstrations of gratuitous and smarmy courtesy or feigned pity, goal-oriented charity, and his version of default pseudo-empathy.

The narcissist comes across as a badly programmed humanoid robot with an insufficient table of data on how to act human.

The narcissist immediately fosters unease and trepidation in people around him, and this is the uncanny valley effect.

The narcissist is not capable of true intimacy and of emoting, because deep inside where a human being should have been, the abode is empty, the flag is at half-mast.

The narcissist walks, the narcissist talks, but otherwise is long dead, like the zombies and vampires of your...

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The Signs of the Narcissist

Narcissists are difficult to spot, but there are subtle signs that can be picked up on, such as entitlement markers, idealization and devaluation, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often perceived as anti-social and are unable to secure the sympathy of others. They are also prone to projecting a false self and using primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, projective identification, and intellectualization.


Why Narcissist Never Says “ I Am Sorry”

Narcissists are unable to express remorse or apologize due to a combination of factors, including a false self that shields their vulnerable true self from the consequences of their actions, a sense of entitlement that leads them to believe they are above social norms, and a lack of empathy that prevents them from understanding the impact of their behavior on others. They often manipulate their environment and project their own issues onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging their wrongdoing. This grandiosity and belief in their own uniqueness create a disconnect from reality, allowing them to justify their harmful actions without feeling accountable. Ultimately, while narcissists can control their behavior when necessary, they choose not to, as they prioritize their own needs and desires over the well-being of others.


Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists may occasionally feel bad and experience depressive episodes, but they have a diminished capacity for empathy and rarely feel genuine remorse for their actions. They often project their own insecurities onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging the pain they cause. While they may experience fleeting moments of regret when faced with significant crises, this is typically short-lived, as they quickly revert to their grandiose self-image and resume their predatory behavior. Ultimately, narcissists prioritize their own needs and desires, objectifying those around them without true reflection on their impact.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Sadistic Narcissist

Narcissists exhibit sadistic behavior primarily to assert their superiority and maintain a sense of omnipotence, often inflicting pain on those who frustrate their expectations of admiration and obedience. Their sadism is characterized by a lack of empathy and a penchant for psychological manipulation, using tactics that undermine their victims' self-confidence and stability. Unlike classical sadists, who derive pleasure from the act of infliction itself, narcissists seek validation and narcissistic supply through their abusive actions. Ultimately, while their sadistic tendencies can cause significant harm, narcissists often abandon their victims before irreversible damage occurs, allowing for potential recovery.


Narcissist Grooms Sources of Narcissistic Supply: Exploits Tragedy, Crisis, and Misfortune

Narcissists are callous and ruthless enough to exploit the tragedy of others. They are obsessed with the maintenance of their delicate inner balance through the ever-increasing consumption of narcissistic supply. The narcissist regards and treats his sources of narcissistic supply as full-fledged human beings, but only as long as they can provide him with what he needs. The narcissist always evaluates the victims of tragedies to see if they can become sources of supply or can be used as props in the theater of his life.


Can Narcissist Truly Love?

Narcissists are incapable of genuine love, viewing others primarily as sources of narcissistic supply, which is essentially attention. They perceive their loved ones as objects or extensions of themselves, reacting with rage to any signs of independence or autonomy. There are two types of narcissists: one seeks stability and control, while the other craves chaos and drama, but both reduce their loved ones to mere props in their lives. Ultimately, the narcissist's so-called love is rooted in fear and self-interest, leading to a cycle of idealization and devaluation of those around them.


Decathexis: When YOU are No Longer Useful (Psychopath’s, Narcissist's Transactional Relationships)

Narcissists exhibit unpredictable behavior that can be perceived as "crazy making," but their actions are actually governed by two main principles: the optimized allocation of resources and a strong aversion to being forced to act. They view relationships as transactional, maintaining connections only as long as they perceive utility and benefit, and will abruptly disengage when they no longer find value in the relationship. This transactional mindset leads to a lack of emotional investment, resulting in a rapid shift from idealization to indifference when circumstances change. Ultimately, narcissists and psychopaths treat others as instruments for their own goals, discarding them without hesitation once they are deemed unproductive or detrimental.


When Narcissist Goes Emotional on You (+Generalized Anger Disorder)

Narcissists often display hyper-emotional behaviors and affection, which can create the illusion of being the perfect partner, but these actions are manipulative and serve to maintain the narcissist's needs rather than genuine care for others. Their emotional expressions are a façade that conceals deep-seated anger, which manifests as generalized anger disorder, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable anger that can be triggered by various situations. This pervasive anger influences their interactions and relationships, leading to abusive and provocative behaviors as they seek justification for their feelings. The underlying pathology of narcissism includes a unique worldview and a private moral code that, when violated, results in explosive anger and significant distress in various aspects of life.


Why Narcissists Laugh in Funerals?

Narcissists fake emotions to manipulate their environment and lack true feelings. They have emotional resonance tables but no real emotions, and they defensively distort facts and circumstances to preserve their delusions of grandeur. Narcissists use emotional delegation to defend themselves against past hurts, delegating their emotions to a fictitious self, the false self. This duality is fundamental to the narcissistic personality and is evident in every interaction with them.

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