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Narcissist's Sadistic Inner Judge and Critic

Uploaded 8/16/2010, approx. 4 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

The narcissist is besieged and tormented by a sadistic superego, which sits in constant judgment of a being.

The superego is an amalgamation of negative evaluations, criticisms, angry or disappointed voices and disparagement meted out in the narcissist's formative years and adolescence by parents, peers, role models and authority figures.

These harsh and repeated comments and criticisms reverberate throughout the narcissist's inner landscape, berating him constantly for failing to conform to his own unattainable ideals, fantastic goals and grandiose or impractical plans and schemes.

The narcissist's sense of self-worth is therefore catapulted from one pole to another, from an enflated view of himself, which is incommensurate with real-life accomplishments, to utter despair and self-denigration.

This is why the narcissist needs narcissistic supply. He needs it to regulate this wild pendulum.

People's adulation, admiration, affirmation and attention restore the narcissist's self-esteem and self-confidence time and again.

It is like a drug. The narcissist's sadistic and uncompromising superego, or contrast, affects three facets of his personality.

The narcissist's sense of self-worth and worthiness, the deeply ingrained conviction that one deserves love, compassion, care and empathy, regardless of what one achieves in life, this is affected by the sadistic superego.

The narcissist feels worthless without narcissistic supply.

The second facet or layer that is affected by the internalized inner judge of the narcissist is his self-esteem, his self-knowledge, the deeply ingrained and realistic appraisal of his own capacities, skills, limitations and shortcomings.

The narcissist lacks clear boundaries and therefore is not sure of his abilities and weaknesses, hence his grandiose compensatory fantasies.

Finally, the narcissist's self-confidence is heavily affected and adversely affected by these disparaging inner voices.

The deeply ingrained belief based on lifelong experience that one can set realistic goals and also accomplish them is ruined in the narcissist.

The narcissist knows the disease of faith and of fraud, that his self is false.

He therefore does not trust his own ability to manage his own affairs and to set practical aims and to realize them.

By becoming a success or at least by appearing to have become a success, the narcissist hopes to quell these voices inside him that constantly question his veracity and attitude.

The narcissist's whole life is a two-fold attempt to both satisfy the inexorable demands of his inner tribunal and to prove wrong its harsh and merciless criticism.

It is this dual and self-contradictory mission to conform to the edicts of his internal enemies and to prove them wrong. It is this constant battle that is at the root of the narcissist unresolved conflicts.

On the one hand, the narcissist accepts the authority of his interjected internalized critics and he disregards the fact that they hate him and they wish him ill or even dead. He sacrifices his life to these inner judges, to these sadistic voices, to these berating figures, to this constant criticism.

He hopes that his successes and accomplishments, whether real or perceived, will ameliorate their rage, silence these voices, restore a modicum of inner peace.

On the other hand, he confronts these very gods, these very divine annihilating entities with proofs of their own fallibility.

His inner dialogue goes something like that.

You claim that I'm worthless and incapable. Well, guess what? You are dead wrong. Look how famous I am. Look how rich I am. Look how powerful, how revered, how accomplished. You must be wrong. You must be wrong. Having accomplished all these things, or at least the perception of these things, I must be doing something right. I must be a worthy person and what you say about me is wrong.

But then much rehearsed self-doubt sets in and the narcissist feels yet again compelled to falsify the claims of his trenchant and indefatigable detractors by conquering another woman, by giving one more interview, by taking over yet another firm, by making an extra million, or by getting reelected one more time.

To no avail, the narcissist is his own worst foe and enemy.

Ironically, it is only when incapacitated that the narcissist gains a modicum of peace of mind. When terminally ill, when incarcerated, when inebriated, the narcissist can shift the blame for his failures and predicaments to outside agents and to objective forces over which he has no control.

His inner dialogue then goes, the failures and defeats that I've endured are not my fault.

He informs his mental tormentors, there was nothing I could do about it. I could do about it.

Now go away and leave me be, leave me alone. I can't help it. I'm a prisoner. I'm terminally ill. I am not in control of the situation.

So how can you expect me to achieve anything and to falsify your claims that I'm worthless?

And then with the narcissist defeated and broken, sometimes these voices do go away and he is free at last.

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Inner Voices, Narcissism, and Codependence

Narcissists and codependents possess introgets, which are inner voices that are mostly negative and sadistic. These voices enhance the narcissist's underlying ego destiny, rendering them unhappy with who they are and discontent with the way they act. The narcissist's sense of self-worth is affected by their sadistic and uncompromising superego, which affects their sense of self-worth and worthiness, self-knowledge, and self-confidence. The narcissist's whole life is an attempt to satisfy the demands of their inner tribunal and to prove their judgment wrong, which is at the root of their unresolved and unresolvable conflicts.


Narcissist: You All Exist Only in My Mind (Hive or Swarm False Self and Ego Functions)

Narcissists have a dysfunctional true self, which is introverted and comatose. The ego, which performs certain functions in healthy people, is dormant in narcissists. Narcissists need feedback from the outside world to perform basic ego functions, which is what is called narcissistic supply. The false self is a collage of reflections, a patchwork of outsourced information, and is a kind of hive self.


Narcissists: Achievers and Failures

Narcissists are either compulsively driven overachievers or chronic underachieving wastrels. The disparity between the accomplishments of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image is what is called the grandiosity gap. It is a staggering abyss and in the long run, it is insupportable and unsustainable. The narcissist's false self is so unrealistic and his expectations of himself are so way out there, his superego is so sadistic, these inner voices that criticize him, that there is nothing the narcissist can do to extricate himself from the Kafkaesque trial that is his life.


Narcissist: Negative Introjects, No Superego, Only Bad Object Internalized

Pathological narcissism is characterized by a disruption in the formation of the self, leading to the absence of a cohesive ego. The superego, which is a moral component of personality, cannot exist in narcissists because it is a part of the ego, and without an ego, there can be no superego. Instead, narcissists experience negative introjects, which are harsh internalized voices that stem from early negative experiences with caregivers, leading to self-loathing and destructive impulses. The distinction between the superego and negative introjects is crucial, as the former represents societal norms and moral guidance, while the latter embodies internalized criticism and self-hatred. Understanding these concepts is essential for addressing the complexities of narcissism and mental health.


Why Narcissist is Fragile, Vulnerable

Overt narcissists exhibit grandiosity and self-confidence as a defense mechanism to mask their fragile inner core, which is characterized by a lack of self-esteem and a distorted self-image. This delusional self-perception leads to a constant state of anxiety and vulnerability, as they anticipate criticism and rejection from reality. The narcissist's identity is not stable or cohesive; instead, it is constructed from external validation and fantasies that ultimately fail to provide a true sense of self. This internal conflict creates a battleground of hostile internal voices, making the narcissist highly sensitive to any perceived threats to their constructed identity.


Narcissism: Silence of the Introjects, Including You (Multitasking to Infantilism)

The false self in pathological narcissism serves to silence the inner voices and introjects that conflict with its grandiose self-image, effectively acting as a censor. Narcissists can be categorized into two groups: those with a bad object who compensate with an idealized false self, and those who only possess an idealized object due to overindulgent upbringing. The false self not only suppresses these introjects but also misidentifies itself as the authentic self, leading to a distorted perception of reality. When the narcissist experiences mortification, the suppressed introjects can resurface, causing significant internal turmoil and emotional dysregulation.


Narcissist: Your Pain is his Healing, Your Crucifixion - His Resurrection

Narcissists need their victims to suffer to regulate their own emotions and feel a sense of control. They keep a mental ledger of positive and negative behaviors, with negative behaviors weighing more heavily. Narcissists need counterfactual statements to maintain their delusion of being special and superior. The grandiosity gap is the major vulnerability of the narcissist, and they are often in denial about their limitations and failures.


Narcissist Can't Feel Lovable, Good, Worthy, Self-rejects

Negative identity in narcissism involves defining oneself in contrast or contradiction to others, either positively or negatively. This can lead to self-rejection, self-loathing, and the creation of a false self to compensate for the perceived inadequacy of the true self. This process is further complicated by the narcissist's autoplastic and alloplastic defenses, as well as their external and internal locus of control. Ultimately, the narcissist's pursuit of goals and accomplishments to satisfy their false self serves as a form of self-rejection, as they are constantly reminded of their inadequacy and worthlessness in comparison to the false self.


Grandiosity, Idea Of Reference, Other, Apophenia, Pareidolia, Hostile Attribution, Confirmation Bias

Grandiosity in narcissism is a complex phenomenon that involves cognitive distortions and biases, leading individuals to perceive themselves as the center of the universe and to misinterpret external events as being directly related to them. This includes ideas of reference, where individuals believe that innocuous actions or events are specifically about them, and object apophenia, which is the tendency to see meaningful connections between unrelated things. The inability to perceive others as separate entities, termed "othering failure," results in a solipsistic worldview where the narcissist's self-image is constantly validated through external attention or narcissistic supply. Ultimately, this internal conflict and reliance on distorted perceptions create a fragile sense of self that can lead to aggressive behaviors and emotional instability when challenged.


Narcissist's Reality Substitutes

Pathological narcissism is a defense mechanism that isolates the narcissist from their environment and shields them from hurt and injury. The false self is a psychological construct that replaces the narcissist's true self and is intended to elicit praise and deflect criticism and pain. The narcissist's reality substitutes fulfill two functions: they help them rationally ignore painful realities with impunity, and they prefer an alternative universe in which the narcissist reigns supreme and emerges triumphant always. The final phase of narcissism involves verbal, psychological, situational, and mercifully more rarely physical abuse directed at their foes and their inferiors.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
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