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Narcissistic Defences and Personality

Uploaded 12/22/2010, approx. 5 minute read

I'm Sam Vaknin, and I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

John M. Horovitz writes in his book, Stress Response Syndrome, published in 1998 in York, the following.

When the habitual narcissistic gratifications that come from being adored, given special treatment, and admiring the self when these are threatened, the results may be depression, prejudices, anxiety, shame, self-destructiveness, or rage directed toward any other person who can be blamed for the troubled situation.

The child can learn to avoid these painful emotional states by acquiring a narcissistic mode of information processing. Such learning may be by trial and error methods, or it may be internalized by identification with parental modes of dealing with stressful information.

Indeed, narcissism is fundamentally an evolved version of the psychological defense mechanism that we know as splitting.

The narcissist does not regard people, situations, entities, collectives, workplaces as compounds of good and bad elements, good and bad size, good and bad components.

The narcissist is an all or nothing primitive machine, and he likes to use this metaphor of a machine when he talks about himself.

The narcissist either idealizes his objects or devalues them.

At any given time, the objects are either all bad or all good. There is no gray zone. There's no compromise. The world is in black and white. The bad attributes of these objects are always projected, displaced, or otherwise externalized and attributed to others. The good ones are internalized in order to support the inflated self-concepts of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies, and in order to avoid the pain of deflation and disillusionment.

Thus, everything that's good in other people, situations, places, collectives, is the narcissist's attributes to himself. Everything that's bad is always someone else's fault.

The universes, other people, collectives. This often translates into persecutory delusions and renders the narcissist somewhat paranoid.

The narcissist's earnestness and his apparent sincerity make people wonder whether he is simply detached from reality, unable to appraise it properly, or whether he is willingly and knowingly distorts reality and reintervices it, subjecting it to his self-imposed censorship and grandiosity.

And the truth, as usual, is somewhere in between.

The narcissist is dimly aware of the implausibility of his own constructions and confabulations. He has not lost touch with reality completely. He is just less strepulous in remolding it and in ignoring its uncomfortable angles.

Horowitz continues to say, the disguises are accomplished by shifting meanings and using exaggeration and minimization of bits of reality as a minus for fantasy's elaboration.

The narcissistic personality is especially vulnerable to regression to damaged or defective self-concepts on the occasions of loss of those who have functioned as self-objects.

In other words, what I call sources of narcissistic supply.

When the individual is faced with such stress events as criticism, withdrawal of praise or humiliation, the information involved may be denied, disavowed, negated or shifted in meaning to prevent the reactive state of rage, depression and shame.

That's Horowitz.


The second psychological defense mechanism which characterizes the narcissist is the active pursuit of narcissistic supply.

The narcissist seeks to secure a reliable and continuous source of supply of admiration, adulation, affirmation and attention, as opposed to common opinion, which unfortunately infiltrated literature and cinema.

The narcissist is content to have any kind of attention, whether good or bad. If fame cannot be had, not a right he would do.

The narcissist is obsessed with his narcissistic supply. He craves attention. He is addicted to it.

He is a narcissistic supply junkie. His behavior in the pursuit of narcissistic supply is impulsive, compulsive and uncontrollable. And he won't be ignored.

Again, if he cannot secure a positive supply, he will do it the bad way. He will become an evil person, a criminal, an antisocial, a vicious entity.

Horowitz again.

The hazard is not simply guilt because ideas have not been met. Rather, any loss of a good and coherent self-filling is associated with intensely experienced emotions such as shame and depression, plus an anguished sense of helplessness and disorientation.

To prevent this state, narcissistic personality slides the meanings of events in order to place the self in a better light.

What is good is labeled as being of the self, internalized.

Those qualities that are undesirable are excluded from the self by denial of their existence, disavowal of related attitudes, externalization, and negation of recent self-expressions.

Persons who function as accessories to the self may also be idealized by exaggeration of their attributes. Those who counter the self are depreciated. Ambiguous attributions of blame in a tendency to self-righteous rage are a conspicuous aspect of this pattern.

Such fluid shifts in meanings permit the narcissistic personality to maintain apparent logical consistency while minimizing evil or weakness and exaggerating innocence or control.

As part of these maneuvers, the narcissistic personality may assume attitudes of contemptuous superiority towards others, emotional coldness, or even desperately charming approaches to idealized figures.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Zombie Narcissist: Deficient Narcissistic Supply

When a narcissist fails to secure sufficient narcissistic supply, they experience withdrawal symptoms similar to those of a drug addict, leading to depression, disordered sleep, and changes in eating patterns. This deficiency results in violent mood swings, compulsive behaviors, and a retreat into a fantasy world where they can escape their painful reality. The narcissist begins to view those around them as mere tools for obtaining supply, leading to increased isolation and paranoia as they blame others for their lack of admiration. Ultimately, the narcissist's self-destructive tendencies emerge, revealing that their greatest enemy lies within themselves, as they squander opportunities and perpetuate their own suffering.


Collapsed Narcissist, Collapsed Histrionic

Narcissists and histrionics rely on a constant supply of admiration and validation, akin to an addiction, and when this supply is insufficient, they can collapse into a state of dysfunction. This collapse can manifest in various forms, including self-destructive behaviors, aggression, or withdrawal, as they struggle to cope with their feelings of inadequacy and trauma. Both types may develop delusional narratives or engage in antisocial behaviors as a means of compensating for their low self-esteem and perceived rejection. Ultimately, when their psychological defenses fail, they may act out destructively, causing harm to themselves and those around them.


Narcissist: Is He or Isn't He?

Narcissism is a spectrum of behaviors, from healthy to pathological, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual specifies nine diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A malignant narcissist is someone who has NPD and wreaks havoc on themselves and their surroundings. They feel grandiose and self-important, exaggerate accomplishments, and demand recognition as superior without commensurate achievements. They require excessive admiration, adulation, attention, and affirmation, and are interpersonally exploitative, devoid of empathy, and constantly envious of others.


Depressive Narcissist

Pathological narcissism is often considered a form of depressive illness, with the life of a typical narcissist punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria, sadness, hopelessness, anhedonia, loss of the ability to feel pleasure, and clinical forms of depression. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in narcissistic supply and to the internal dynamics that these fluctuations generate. There are several types of dysphoria and depression in pathological narcissism, including loss-induced dysphoria, deficiency-induced dysphoria, self-worth dysregulation dysphoria, grandiosity gap dysphoria, and self-punishing dysphoria. Many narcissists end up delusional, schizoid, or paranoid to avoid agonizing and knowing depression.


Why Narcissist APPEARS So STUPID (Borderlines and Psychopaths, too!)

Narcissists, despite often possessing high intelligence, frequently exhibit profound stupidity in their interactions and decision-making due to cognitive distortions like grandiosity and a lack of empathy. This disconnect from reality impairs their ability to learn from past experiences, leading to repetitive mistakes and self-destructive behaviors. Their immaturity and reliance on external validation further contribute to their inability to navigate life effectively, making them susceptible to manipulation and poor judgment. Ultimately, their intellectual capabilities are overshadowed by their emotional and social dysfunctions, rendering them inadequate in real-life situations.


Narcissist's Cycles of Ups and Downs

Narcissists experience cyclical phases of euphoria and dysphoria, characterized by alternating periods of hyperactivity and lethargy, driven by external triggers rather than internal biochemical changes. These cycles, which differ from bipolar disorder, are influenced by the availability of narcissistic supply, leading to manic episodes filled with creativity and social engagement, followed by depressive phases marked by withdrawal and despair. To manage these fluctuations, narcissists engage in a process of hibernation to regenerate energy and strategize for acquiring narcissistic supply, often relying on secondary sources for validation during low periods. Ultimately, the narcissist's life is a tumultuous journey between these mini-cycles, reflecting their dependence on external validation and the instability of their self-esteem.


How Narcissist Experiences His Collapse (Grandiosity Bubbles and Delusional Solutions)

When a narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply, they experience a phenomenon known as narcissistic collapse, leading to various internal dynamics and emotional responses. This collapse can result in a range of maladaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, and paranoid ideation, as the narcissist attempts to cope with their perceived failures and maintain a sense of self-worth. The absence of supply can trigger severe emotional dysregulation, withdrawal from reality, and even psychotic episodes, as the narcissist struggles to reconcile their grandiose self-image with the harshness of reality. Ultimately, the narcissist's reliance on external validation creates a precarious existence, where the loss of supply leads to profound feelings of emptiness and self-destruction.


Narcissist’s 3 Depressions

Narcissists experience three types of depression, each stemming from their inability to cope with emotional realities and their dependence on external validation. Loss-induced dysphoria occurs when they lose sources of narcissistic supply, leading to a gradual decline in their sense of self. Deficiency-induced dysphoria is a more acute reaction to sudden losses of supply, prompting the narcissist to seek new sources to replenish their self-worth. Lastly, self-worth dysregulation dysphoria arises from criticism or humiliation, resulting in a crisis of identity and a profound sense of inferiority, ultimately revealing the deep-seated pain and trauma that underlie their narcissistic facade.


How Narcissist Falls Apart (Compilation)

When a narcissist fails to secure sufficient narcissistic supply, they experience a profound emotional collapse similar to that of a drug addict undergoing withdrawal. This leads to a state of dysphoria characterized by depression, disordered sleep and eating patterns, and violent mood swings, often resulting in compulsive behaviors or alternative addictions. The narcissist may retreat into a fantasy world where they can maintain their grandiose self-image, developing paranoid delusions about others conspiring against them, which further isolates them from reality. Ultimately, the lack of supply can lead to self-destructive behaviors and suicidal ideation, as the narcissist grapples with their deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and loathing.


Narcissist as Spoiled Brat

Narcissists require attention and narcissistic supply, and when they cannot obtain it, they may experience decompensation, which can lead to acting out in various ways. Narcissists may resort to several adaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, passive-aggressive behavior, paranoid narratives, and masochistic avoidance. These behaviors are all self-generated sources of narcissistic supply. Masochistic narcissists may direct their fury inwards, punishing themselves for their failure to elicit supply, and this behavior has the added benefit of forcing those closest to them to pay attention to them.

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