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You Could Be a Flying Monkey, too!

Uploaded 12/3/2024, approx. 3 minute read

Anyone can be the narcissist's flying monkey.

Let me repeat this. Anyone and everyone can find themselves in the position of being the narcissist's flying monkey. However unwittingly, however unintentionally.

The narcissist co-ops people around him or her, and sometimes they don't know what they're doing. They become the narcissist's long arms, his strategic weapons, and they've never meant to be. But here they are, where the narcissist has placed them.

So anyone can serve as the narcissist's flying monkey. Intimate partners, children, parents, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the mentally ill, activists, law enforcement, institutions, criminals, the media, and academics. Anyone and everyone can become the narcissist's flying monkey because the narcissist converts people into flying monkeys via confabulations, fantasies and alternative realities. Just about anyone and everyone can be compromised, brainwashed and recruited into the shared fantasy.

Narcissists can appear to be charming, convincing, vulnerable, hurt, victimized.

Narcissists are actors. They can be whatever they put their minds to. And they believe their own lies. They believe their own fantasies.

These are not lies technically because the narcissist is absolutely emotionally invested in the narrative, in the story that he is telling everyone.

His commitment to the narrative, his vehemence, his energy, his persistence and insistence, his ferocity, they're very convincing. They exude self-confidence, they exude veracity. It is easy to believe that something is truthful if it is defended, protected, buttressed, supported relentlessly.

And so this is the narcissist. The narcissist's energy passes for the truth. The narcissist's commitment and investment in his own concocted piece of fiction passes for reality.

And everyone is sucked in and dragged into this shared fantasy. They become the narcissist's allies, rescuers, saviors, healers, fixers, they are out to defend and protect the poor, vulnerable, fragile, hurt, inner child of the narcissist, and out they go to attack all the narcissists' opponents, adversaries, exes, etc.

Be careful. Ask yourself time and again, am I being the narcissist's flying monkey at this very moment? Am I fully aware of what I'm doing?

The people I support, the people whose views I espouse, the people I vote for, the people I work for, the people I collaborate with, the people I defend and protect, are they narcissists? Have they converted me into a flying monkey? Am I being victimized?

Ask yourself that time and again in every possible setting with every possible person.

Because unbeknownst to you, you may become an abuser. You may become a narcissist yourself.

Narcissism is contagious, and numerous flying monkeys found themselves in the position of abusing other people, hurting them, and becoming more and more narcissistic.

Be careful.

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Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech

Narcissists communicate using a dual-layered approach, where the overt message conceals a hidden, manipulative intent designed to trigger emotional responses in their targets. This hidden message often employs techniques such as counterfactuality, victimhood, projection, and gaslighting, which distort reality and shift blame onto others. Effective communication with narcissists requires ignoring the hidden messages and, if possible, involving intermediaries to prevent emotional manipulation. Ultimately, understanding the nature of narcissistic communication can help individuals protect themselves from the psychological harm inflicted by these interactions.


How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.


Flying Monkey Psychology in Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy

The flying monkey is a participant in the narcissist's attenuated shared fantasy, which lacks depth and future vision but caters to the flying monkey's sense of grandiosity. This dynamic creates a morality play where the narcissist positions themselves as a victim and the flying monkey as a savior, directing their aggression towards a targeted individual. The flying monkey becomes an extension of the narcissist, experiencing a sense of uniqueness and importance while being gaslighted into an alternative reality. Ultimately, this relationship reinforces both the narcissist's power and the flying monkey's own narcissistic tendencies.


Giving Narcissist Second Chance

Narcissists do not provide closure in relationships and will stalk, cajole, beg, promise, persuade, and ultimately succeed in doing the impossible to get you back. The narcissist will cast all interactions with you in terms of conflicts or competitions to be won. If you have resumed contact because you are manifestly dependent on the narcissist financially or emotionally, the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and exploit your fragility to the maximum. Ultimately, the narcissist will write the inevitable cycle of idealization and devaluation.


When YOU Discard the Narcissist FIRST

When a person discards a narcissist before they have the chance to devalue and discard them, it can lead to either narcissistic injury or narcissistic mortification, with the latter having more severe and lasting effects. The narcissist may perceive the discarding individual as a rejecting maternal figure, triggering re-traumatization and potentially leading to emotional dysregulation or reckless behavior. Following the discard, the narcissist experiences separation anxiety and seeks to restore object constancy by either hovering or stalking the individual, attempting to reconcile the dissonance between their internal representation and reality. Ultimately, the narcissist may reframe the situation to maintain their self-image, either by claiming they caused the breakup or by portraying the other person as malicious, while simultaneously seeking a replacement to fulfill their disrupted shared fantasy.


How To Tell If Someone Is A Pathological Liar

Pathological lying is characterized by compulsive, self-destructive behavior where individuals lie without any clear purpose or benefit, often leading to negative consequences in their lives. Unlike ordinary liars, pathological liars create extensive, elaborate narratives that intertwine with previous lies, making it difficult to discern truth from falsehood. They often lack self-awareness regarding their lying and may even believe their own fabrications, which can be tied to various personality disorders but can also exist independently. The prevalence of lying in society is further complicated by the emergence of social media, where lying has become normalized and even celebrated as a form of self-expression.


Why Narcissist Devalues YOU (Hint: Wants YOU "Dead")

Narcissists devalue their partners as a form of self-defense and control. There are two types of devaluation: preemptive and reactive. Preemptive devaluation occurs when a narcissist is in a transitional state between overt and covert narcissism, and they devalue potential sources of supply to prevent the overt side from using them against the covert side. Reactive devaluation is a response to a perceived threat to the narcissist's grandiosity or control. Both types of devaluation are harmful to the victim and serve to maintain the narcissist's sense of power and control.


When Narcissist in Tears, You Are in Trouble (Frustration-Aggression)

Years of abuse from a narcissist can lead to a moment of confusion when they display tears, which victims may misinterpret as a sign of vulnerability or a chance for redemption. However, these tears are often manipulative, serving as a tactic to elicit sympathy, control emotions, and reinforce the narcissist's victimhood narrative. When a narcissist cries, it signals a shift to a psychopathic state, where they may perceive any challenge to their grandiosity as a threat, leading to aggression and a desire to eliminate the source of their frustration. Victims should recognize that the narcissist's tears are not genuine expressions of emotion but rather a dangerous manipulation, and the best course of action is to distance themselves for their safety.


Safe Surfing: Narcissist Invades Your Computer

Narcissists may use malware to log everything you type, discover your passwords, and break into your email and bank accounts. To protect yourself, never click on links or open attachments from unknown sources, and never enter personal details on unknown sites. Always check the lock icon and HTTPS address before entering personal information, and read emails in text format rather than HTML. Change your passwords frequently, update your operating system and antivirus software, and scan your computer for malware regularly. If you notice suspicious behavior, disconnect from the internet and scan your computer for malware.


Dissolve YOUR Snapshot, Amplify Anxiety of Narcissist: Love Slaves No More!

Two techniques can be employed to temporarily distance oneself from a narcissist: dissolving the idealized snapshot and amplifying the narcissist's abandonment anxiety. Dissolving the snapshot involves actively contradicting the positive perceptions the narcissist has of you while reinforcing their negative views, ultimately forcing them to confront the real you and leading to their discard. Amplifying abandonment anxiety can be achieved by displaying signs of physical weakness or by triangulating with other potential sources of attention, which triggers the narcissist's fear of being left alone. Both strategies exploit the narcissist's psychological vulnerabilities, creating discomfort and disorientation that can push them away.

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