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You Could Be a Flying Monkey, too!

Uploaded 12/3/2024, approx. 3 minute read

Anyone can be the narcissist's flying monkey.

Let me repeat this. Anyone and everyone can find themselves in the position of being the narcissist's flying monkey. However unwittingly, however unintentionally.

The narcissist co-ops people around him or her, and sometimes they don't know what they're doing. They become the narcissist's long arms, his strategic weapons, and they've never meant to be. But here they are, where the narcissist has placed them.

So anyone can serve as the narcissist's flying monkey. Intimate partners, children, parents, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the mentally ill, activists, law enforcement, institutions, criminals, the media, and academics. Anyone and everyone can become the narcissist's flying monkey because the narcissist converts people into flying monkeys via confabulations, fantasies and alternative realities. Just about anyone and everyone can be compromised, brainwashed and recruited into the shared fantasy.

Narcissists can appear to be charming, convincing, vulnerable, hurt, victimized.

Narcissists are actors. They can be whatever they put their minds to. And they believe their own lies. They believe their own fantasies.

These are not lies technically because the narcissist is absolutely emotionally invested in the narrative, in the story that he is telling everyone.

His commitment to the narrative, his vehemence, his energy, his persistence and insistence, his ferocity, they're very convincing. They exude self-confidence, they exude veracity. It is easy to believe that something is truthful if it is defended, protected, buttressed, supported relentlessly.

And so this is the narcissist. The narcissist's energy passes for the truth. The narcissist's commitment and investment in his own concocted piece of fiction passes for reality.

And everyone is sucked in and dragged into this shared fantasy. They become the narcissist's allies, rescuers, saviors, healers, fixers, they are out to defend and protect the poor, vulnerable, fragile, hurt, inner child of the narcissist, and out they go to attack all the narcissists' opponents, adversaries, exes, etc.

Be careful. Ask yourself time and again, am I being the narcissist's flying monkey at this very moment? Am I fully aware of what I'm doing?

The people I support, the people whose views I espouse, the people I vote for, the people I work for, the people I collaborate with, the people I defend and protect, are they narcissists? Have they converted me into a flying monkey? Am I being victimized?

Ask yourself that time and again in every possible setting with every possible person.

Because unbeknownst to you, you may become an abuser. You may become a narcissist yourself.

Narcissism is contagious, and numerous flying monkeys found themselves in the position of abusing other people, hurting them, and becoming more and more narcissistic.

Be careful.

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When the Narcissist's Parents Die

The death of a narcissist's parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist's trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist's unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.


Flying Monkey Psychology in Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy

The flying monkey is a participant in the narcissist's attenuated shared fantasy, which lacks depth and future vision but caters to the flying monkey's sense of grandiosity. This dynamic creates a morality play where the narcissist positions themselves as a victim and the flying monkey as a savior, directing their aggression towards a targeted individual. The flying monkey becomes an extension of the narcissist, experiencing a sense of uniqueness and importance while being gaslighted into an alternative reality. Ultimately, this relationship reinforces both the narcissist's power and the flying monkey's own narcissistic tendencies.


Narcissistic Mortification: From Shame to Healing via Trauma, Fear, and Guilt

Narcissistic mortification occurs when a narcissist is confronted with the reality of their imperfections, leading to feelings of defeat and terror as their false self crumbles. This experience is often triggered by external challenges or criticisms that clash with their idealized self-image, resulting in a disorienting realization of their limitations. The narcissist may respond to this mortification through various defense mechanisms, such as grandiosity or aggression, as they struggle to regain a sense of control and avoid facing their true self. Ultimately, mortification can serve as a potential catalyst for healing, as it forces the narcissist to confront their condition and the possibility of reintegrating with their true self.


Narcissist Father: Save Your Child

Parents who are worried about their children becoming narcissists under the influence of a narcissistic parent should stop trying to insulate their children from the other parent's influence. Instead, they should make themselves available to their children and present themselves as a non-narcissistic role model. Narcissistic parents regard their children as a source of narcissistic supply and try to control their lives through guilt-driven, dependence-driven, goal-driven, and explicit mechanisms. The child is the ultimate secondary source of narcissistic supply, and the narcissistic parent tries to perpetuate the child's dependence using control mechanisms. The narcissistic parent tends to produce another narcissist in some of their children, but this outcome can be effectively countered by loving, empathic, predictable, just, and positive upbringing, which encourages a


Narcissistic Boss or Employer: Coping and Survival Tactics

Narcissistic bosses view their employees solely as sources of admiration and validation, expecting them to mirror their grandiosity without developing their own identities. When employees assert independence or challenge the narcissist's self-image, they risk severe backlash, including termination, as the narcissist perceives any hint of equality as a threat. The narcissist's need for constant validation leads to a cycle of idealization followed by devaluation, where new employees are initially praised but later taken for granted. To navigate this toxic environment, employees should avoid disagreement, refrain from intimacy, and consistently flatter the narcissist to maintain their position and minimize conflict.


Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


“Twin Flames” and Their “Empaths”: Danse Macabre

The current era is characterized by a pervasive culture of narcissism, where individuals seek validation through self-aggrandizing labels like "twin flame" and "empath." The concept of a twin flame often leads individuals to form unhealthy attachments with narcissists or psychopaths, who manipulate their perceptions through idealized mirroring, creating a false sense of self and dependency. This dynamic fosters a regression to an infantile state, where the twin flame becomes a surrogate parental figure, ultimately erasing personal boundaries and autonomy. The label of "empath" further complicates this relationship, as it reinforces grandiosity and detachment from reality, making individuals more susceptible to manipulation and control by their twin flame.


Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

Narcissistic mortification is a challenge to the false self, which crumbles and is unable to maintain defenses and pretensions. Narcissists use two strategies to restore some cohesiveness to the self: deflated and inflated narcissist. Narcissists engage in mortification, a form of self-mutilation, to feel alive and free from commitment to their false self. Narcissists seek out borderline women to mortify them and experience the unresolved primary conflict with their mother.


Narcissist: No Custody, No Children!

Parenting lacks the necessary regulations and screenings that are required for other responsibilities, allowing individuals with narcissistic personality disorder to raise children without oversight. Narcissistic parents often treat their children as extensions of themselves, leading to cycles of idealization and devaluation that can cause long-lasting emotional trauma. The control mechanisms employed by narcissists, such as guilt and co-dependence, create a symbiotic but turbulent relationship where the child's needs are secondary to the parent's desires for narcissistic supply. Ultimately, the conditional love and harsh reactions of narcissistic parents can result in severe emotional and psychological harm to the child.


How Narcissist Remembers You (Dark, then Rosy Retrospection, Nostalgic Recall)

Narcissists experience memory through dissociation, leading to significant gaps and an inability to maintain a cohesive identity. Their recollections are often confabulated, creating a distorted narrative that serves their self-enhancing needs, where former partners are reduced to mere internal objects or relics of the past. When they do recall past relationships, it is typically through dark retrospection, which demonizes the other, or rosy retrospection, which idealizes them in preparation for potential hoovering. Ultimately, narcissists possess almost no episodic memory, rendering their former partners largely forgotten and irrelevant in their internal narratives.

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