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Vaknin Talks

Full transcripts of Sam Vaknin's videos

Why Narcissist MUST Sacrifice YOU to False Self

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dominance of the false self in narcissism, explaining that the false self is a primitive, savage, parental deity that demands human sacrifice. The false self is a compensatory process that conflicts with and rejects anyone who enters the narcissist's life and becomes a maternal figure, leading to the sacrifice of the individual to the false self. The shared fantasy is a reenactment of the failed early childhood separation and individuation, and the devaluation and discard are symbolic reenactments of separation from the original mother. The narcissist remains stuck with the maternal introject, creating dissonance and perpetuating inner conflict.


NEVER SAY THIS to Depressed, Anxious (Pollyannaish Invalidation)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the importance of choosing the right words when trying to help someone dealing with depression and anxiety. He emphasizes the need to avoid minimizing or invalidating the person's experiences and to respect their individuality. Vaknin advises against using cliches and instead encourages active listening and empathy. He warns against being overly optimistic or trying to "fix" the person, and stresses the importance of providing companionship and support without imposing one's own views or judgments.


Narcissist As Never Seen Before (Bootleg Snippets, Zagreb Lecture, March 2024)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses narcissism and offers to give lectures to clinicians and mental health practitioners in North Macedonia and other European countries. He explains the concept of autoerotism and its impact on a child's development, as well as the different types of narcissistic interpersonal relationships. He delves into the grief experienced after narcissistic abuse and the shared fantasy between the narcissist and their intimate partner. Vaknin also addresses the dynamics of narcissism, including splitting and projection, and the impact of narcissists on those around them.


Do THIS: 10A Model for a Fulfilled LIFE (by Jonah Nyoni)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin introduces the 10A model developed by Johna Nioni from Zimbabwe, which focuses on setting life goals, finding meaning, and maximizing self-efficacy and self-actualization. The 10A model includes aligning with one's purpose, accepting oneself, taking action, positive self-assertion, seeking advice, choosing positive associations, promoting oneself for the benefit of others, being accountable, adapting to change, and accelerating learning and innovation. Vaknin provides commentary on each A, relating it to current knowledge in psychology and emphasizing the importance of these principles for personal growth and success.


Why do We Hate (Talk TV with Trisha Goddard)

Renowned clinical psychologist Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of hate, explaining that people tend to hate those who resemble them most and those who attempt to become like them. He delves into defense mechanisms such as reaction formation, splitting, and projection that contribute to rejection of others. Vaknin also highlights the role of politicians in using hate to separate people and the transition to an age of entitled competitive victimhood. He suggests that empathy skills and reducing anxiety about competition for scarce resources can help in fostering love and understanding.


Self-styled Narcissism "Experts", Psychology Credentials

In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of self-styled experts in psychology and the criteria for defining true expertise in the field. He emphasizes the importance of dedication, publication in peer-reviewed journals, and participation in international conferences as key indicators of expertise. Vaknin also addresses the relevance of academic degrees in psychology, highlighting that while they are important for certain activities such as diagnosing and treating individuals, they are not necessary for creating new theories or treatment modalities. Additionally, he advocates for the inclusion of laymen's experiences and perspectives in psychology, arguing that their insights can provide valuable information for scholars. Overall, Vaknin aims to disambiguate the confusion surrounding credentials and expertise in the field of psychology.


Gold Digger’s, Sugar Babe's World

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of gold diggers, focusing on four key elements: insecurity, entitlement, objectification, and transactionalism. He explains that gold diggers are often insecure and seek to convert others into a secure base, feel entitled to a luxurious lifestyle, objectify their partners, and engage in extreme transactionalism. Vaknin also mentions the existence of online forums and schools that teach gold digging techniques, highlighting the institutionalization of this behavior. He concludes by noting that even when the partner believes they have the upper hand, the gold digger ultimately benefits from the relationship.


Hoovered by Narcissist? Now What?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of "hoovering" in narcissism, which involves the narcissist's attempt to re-idealize a former partner or to project the idealized image of the former partner onto a new one. This behavior is driven by the narcissist's internal dynamics and the need to resolve dissonance and anxiety. The hoovering shared fantasy is unstable and lacks direction, leading to self-destructive and self-defeating behavior by the narcissist. Ultimately, the hoovering attempts are doomed to fail, making the narcissist's life tragicomic.


3 Spells Against Narcissist’s “Black Magic” Presence, Voice (LISTEN, PRINT, DECLAIM)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of narcissists on individuals and provides three affirmations to counter their influence. He advises repeating these affirmations daily, posting them in various places, and vocalizing them frequently to displace the narcissist's voice in one's mind. The affirmations emphasize that the narcissist's behavior is not the fault of the individual, but rather a result of the narcissist's internal dynamics and needs. By consistently practicing these affirmations, individuals can gradually silence the negative influence of the narcissist.


Cold Therapy: Misinformation, Smears Dispelled

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new treatment modality called "cold therapy," which is a talk therapy designed for individuals diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and major depression. He dispels misconceptions about cold therapy, emphasizing that it does not involve physical abuse or violence and is strictly verbal. He explains that cold therapy aims to re-traumatize the patient in a controlled and tiered manner, leading to the collapse of the narcissist's defenses and creating a window of opportunity for change. Vaknin outlines 25 proprietary techniques used in cold therapy, including erasure, hypervigilant referencing, grandiosity reframing, and happiness mapping, to reframe situations and events as traumas and foster more adaptive functioning. He also discusses the challenges and risks associated with cold therapy, such as managing transference and countertransference, addressing suicidal tendencies, and fostering persecutory delusions.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
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