But, for example, group sex, threesomes, extremely common. Swinging, very common.
So in totality, I would say that I haven't come across a narcissist who doesn't have a disrupted, or unusual, or atypical sexuality.
What do you, think why doesn't it work? Previously, the other therapies, and why Cold Therapy, which is your product, why does it work? Why is it different from any other?
Why the others are not working, it's much easier to answer. They're not working for two reasons.
One, narcissism is not a personality disorder. So if you try to treat the personality you will fail.
Narcissism is a post-traumatic condition, and should be treated with tools that we use to treat trauma.
And the second reason is that the therapists relate to the narcissist as an adult. They talk to the narcissist, they negotiate with the narcissist, they reason with the narcissist, they make agreements with the narcissist, try to convince the narcissist.
It's useless.
The narcissist is not an adult in any way, shape, or form by the way. Not cognitively, not emotionally. Is not an adult, is a child.
And what remains to be seen, if he's a child four years old, or six years old, or maximum nine years old, I've never come across a narcissist who is more than nine years old. Even when he's 80, no such thing.
To relate or communicate with the narcissist as an adult is to set up the therapy for failure. This is not an adult.
It's exactly like you would take a nine-year-old and administer to him CBT. Will not work, simply. And indeed, doesn't work.
We need to use with the narcissist child psychology techniques.
But here's the excellent news, the excellent news of this.
We don't know how to treat personality disorders, we don't.
We know how to treat borderline personality disorder with the technique called Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
But we have zero success with anything else, with all other personality disorders. We are a total failure in this.
But, we know how to treat trauma very effectively. We have many ultra powerful tools to deal with trauma. We are almost 98 percent successful with trauma.
So if we begin to think of narcissism as trauma, suddenly we have many weapons which are perfect weapons and we can cure and heal.
Secondly, child psychology is a very well developed field, actually preceded adult psychology.
In child psychology, we have two hundred years of tools, instruments, experience, knowledge, and we are very, very successful with children. Much more than with adults, much more.
So if we treat the narcissist as a child this is excellent news, because we know how to work with children. We are a success at this.
Here are two successes: trauma, child.
Put them together and you are likely to cure narcissism.
Of course, if you target narcissism in the wrong way, as a personality problem of an adult, you will get nowhere fast. And that's precisely the situation.
Other therapies using other techniques get nowhere fast. They have zero results with narcissists. Zero.
Actually, the irony is most of these therapists need therapy after their work with the narcissist. I'm not kidding you, by the way.
It's a technical term called burnout. Most therapists who treat narcissism attend therapy after that. The experience is so absolutely devastating to them.
What the hell, it's a joke, you know? You're doing something wrong, 70 years is not enough? I mean, you're doing something wrong, wake up!
But there's grandiosity in the profession, narcissistic defenses. They know everything best. They do not learn from victims, they will not listen to amateurs.
For 15 years I was considered an amateur, nevermind that to start with I'm a narcissist so I have inside knowledge.
I have studied more narcissists than then all psychologists in the world combined.
You have studies of narcissism with six narcissists, between three, are you kidding me?
I have 1,560 in my database. I'm trained. I have academic degrees in physics, in philosophy, medical doctor and so on.
But all this is not enough? I don't have a degree in psychology so I'm an amateur. For 15 years they refused to listen to anything I say.
Only five years ago they woke up, and now I'm a professor of psychology and this editor of magazines, now I'm getting all the honors, and my work is used.
But don't you think that 15 years is a pathological reaction? To wait 15 years to adopt new knowledge? This is a defensive, pathological reaction.
And indeed, it's my impression, that among these professions, therapists, psychologists, there's actually an overrepresentation of narcissists in my view. There's a lot of narcissism in these professions.
And many of these people went to these professions because it gives them power over patients and patients' families.
Not pleasant, but the truth.
What do we need to know about, generally, Cold Therapy. And in February, when you will have your seminar, what people would you like to have come and visit?
I'm not an elitist like others I suppose. Anyone can come as far as I'm concerned.
Not everyone can receive a certificate, for that you need a degree. That's all practice.
But as listeners anyone is welcome to come. Some acquaintance with narcissism would be helpful, although the seminar starts from zero. Explains narcissism, the old theories, I review the whole theories.
(Doorbell)
The next thing they do is they send a narcissist.