Background

Cyber (Internet) Narcissists and Psychopaths

Uploaded 8/10/2010, approx. 5 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds. It is a gathering place of numerous potential sources of narcissistic supply of attention. It is a world where false identities are common, and mind games depend on. It is also beyond the reach of the law, beyond the pale of social norms, and beyond the strictures of civilized conduct.

In other words, as far as the narcissist is concerned, it is true paradise.

The somatic narcissist finds cybersex and cyberrelationships aplenty. The cerebral narcissist claims false accomplishments, he fakes skills, irreducian and talents.

Both these types of narcissists, the somatic and the cerebral, even when they are minimally communicative, end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, followers, stalkers, erotomania, denigrators, and plain nuts.

The constant attention and attendant quasi-celebrity feed and sustain the grandiose fantasies and the inflated self-image of the narcissist.

So, in a way, the Internet is an extension of the real-life narcissistic pathological space, the narcissist milieu and environment, offline.

But the Internet is without the risks, the injuries, the disappointments and the hurt that is common in reality.

In the virtual universe of the web, the narcissist vanishes and reappears with ease. He often adopts a myriad aliases, nicknames and handles.

The narcissist fends off criticism, abuse, disagreement and disapproval effectively in a real time by merely not being there anymore.

At the same time, he preserves the precarious balance of his infantile personality by reappearing or by pretending to be someone else.

Narcissists are therefore prone to Internet addiction. It fulfills many of their emotional needs.

The Internet of course has positive characteristics, but unfortunately they are largely lost on the narcissist.

He is not keen on expanding his horizons, on fostering true relationships with others, on getting in real contact with people.

The narcissist is forever the provincial in the Internet because he filters everything through the narrow lens of his addiction to narcissistic supply.

He measures others on the Internet, idealizes them or devalues them according to one criterion only, how useful they are at being sources of narcissistic supply. Can they be such sources or not?

The Internet is a egalitarian medium. People on the Internet are judged by the consistency, the quality of their contributions, not by the content or bombast of their claims.

But the narcissist is driven to distracting discomforture by a lack of clear and commonly accepted hierarchy with himself, of course, as a pinnacle.

So the Internet, this anarchic and democratic medium also discomforts the narcissist, makes him feel ill at ease.

So what the narcissist tries to do, he fervently and aggressively tries to impose the natural order with the narcissist at the top, either by monopolizing the discussion, monopolizing the interaction, or if this strategy fails by becoming a major disruptive influence.

But the Internet may also be the closest that the narcissist gets to psychodynamic therapy.

Because the Internet is largely anonymous, it is populated by sort of disembodied entities. By interacting with these intermittent, unpredictable and ultimately unknowable and ephemeral and ethereal voices, the narcissist is compelled to project unto others his own experiences, fears, hopes and prejudices.

He uses other people on the Internet to actually look at the mirror, to be reflected, to insult. Transference and counter-transference are quite common on the Internet.

And the narcissist's psychological defense mechanisms, notably projection and projective identification, are frequently aroused.

The therapeutic process is set in motion by the unbridled, unsensored, brutally honest reactions to the narcissist's reparatory.

People give feedback to the narcissist when he displays his antics, his pretensions, his delusions and his fantasies.

And never mind how painful this feedback is, it provokes the narcissist into thinking. It gives him insight.

And in this sense, it's remedial, it's therapeutic.

The narcissist, ever the intimidating bully, is not accustomed to such resistance.

Initially it may heighten and sharpen his paranoia and lead him to compensate by extending and deepening his grandiosity.

Some narcissists withdraw altogether from the Internet, reverting to a schizoid posture. They shun others. Other narcissists become openly antisocial and they seek to subvert, to sabotage and to destroy the online sources of their frustration.

A few narcissists retreat and confine themselves to the company of adoring psychophants and unquestioning groupies.

But a long exposure to the culture of the net, which is irreverent, skeptical and populist, usually exerts a beneficial effect, even on the staunchest and most rigid narcissist.

Far less convinced of their own superiority and infallibility, having been exposed to the Internet, some online narcissists meddle and begin hesitantly to listen to others, to actually collaborate with them.

Ultimately, most narcissists, those who are not schizoid and those who don't shun social content, most narcissists tire of the virtual reality that is cyberspace.

The typical narcissist needs tangible narcissistic supply, needs to look them in the eye, needs to press the flesh. He craves attention from real, live people, flesh and blood. He strives to see in their eyes their admiration and their relation. They awe and fear that he inspires the approval and affirmation that he elicits.

All this is not forthcoming from the Internet. There is no substitute to human contact even for the narcissist.

Many narcissists try to carry online relationships they nurtured into their logical extension. So they try to conclude them and consummate them offline. They try to meet the people they've interacted with on the net.

Other narcissists burst upon the cyber scene intermittently, vanishing for long months, only to dive back in and reinvigorate and then to disappear again.

Reality beckons that few narcissists can resist the siren call of offline.

They are therefore not true netizens. They are fly-by-night creatures.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist’s Extrinsic Values How You Adopt The Fantasy Ratchet

Values are defined as the intersection between how individuals perceive themselves and the world, and how they believe they should behave within it. There are intrinsic values, which encompass empathy and community, and extrinsic values, which focus on status and material success. Narcissists typically possess extrinsic values, shaped by their harsh environments, leading to a lack of intrinsic values and a worldview that normalizes exploitation and competition. This dynamic creates a feedback loop where societal values are influenced by elite manipulation, resulting in a distorted perception of reality and self-worth among individuals.


Twitter Narcissism

Twitter is not a platform for narcissists as it limits them to 140 characters, which can cause narcissistic injury. However, Twitter presents a challenge to its users to be creative and imaginative in their communication. Twitter is the digital reincarnation of earlier forms of direct communication, such as the telegraph and text message, and forces recipients to use their imagination to decipher the code. Twitter is unlikely to disappear and is unlikely to become a platform for verbose, uncontrollable narcissists.


Internet: The Narcissist's Hunting Haunt and Playground (Gazeta Polska)

Narcissism is a form of abuse that stems from unhealthy parental relationships, where the child is treated as an extension of the parent, leading to a false self that embodies traits the child lacks. The internet, particularly social media, serves as an ideal environment for narcissists due to its anonymity, lack of real interaction, and the ability to manipulate perceptions without accountability. Social media platforms are designed to amplify narcissistic behaviors by fostering competition for likes and attention, which can lead to increased aggression and a toxic environment. While the internet itself can provide valuable information and connections, social media has been shown to have overwhelmingly negative psychological effects, particularly among vulnerable populations like teenagers. Ultimately, the design and operation of social media prioritize profit over the well-being of users, perpetuating a cycle of pathological narcissism and aggression.


Narcissist's Accomplices

Malignant narcissism is pervasive in society, yet it remains largely unrecognized and under-researched, partly because it aligns with cultural values that condone self-centeredness and exploitation. Various groups, including adulators, blissfully ignorant individuals, self-deceivers, and the deceived, enable narcissists by either benefiting from their behavior or denying its harmful effects. These dynamics are particularly evident in hierarchical structures like political parties and corporations, where narcissistic traits are often rewarded. Victims of narcissism frequently cling to the hope of changing or healing the narcissist, despite the reality that such beliefs are often misguided and detrimental.


Real Narcissists are Covert, Grandiose Narcissists are Psychopaths

Compensatory narcissism is a clinical entity linked to self-discrepancy, where individuals experience a conflict between their self-perception and reality, leading to narcissistic behaviors as a coping mechanism for underlying insecurities. Recent research has provided objective measurement tools that support the existence of compensatory narcissism, distinguishing it from grandiose narcissism, which is often associated with psychopathy. The study highlights that narcissism is driven by insecurity rather than self-love, suggesting that behaviors like "flexing" on social media are attempts to manage low self-worth. Additionally, while narcissists are aware of their behaviors, they reinterpret them as advantageous rather than problematic, contrasting with the lack of insight seen in conditions like anosognosia. This understanding emphasizes the complex interplay between narcissism, self-perception, and social behavior.


Why We Forgive, Admire Favorite Narcissists: Misperceived as Benevolent, Protective

Accomplished, wealthy, and powerful narcissists are often perceived as deserving of special treatment due to their real-life achievements, leading to a double standard in how society views different classes of narcissists. While ordinary narcissists are condemned and seen as monsters, elite narcissists are forgiven for their abusive behavior because of their contributions to society. This distinction allows these powerful individuals to manipulate and access the psyche of their victims, often masking their malignant traits. The normalization of this behavior is detrimental to victims and perpetuates a harmful societal attitude towards narcissism.


Why We Love to Hate Celebrities (Interview in Superinteressante Magazine in Brazil)

Celebrities serve as mythical narratives and blank screens for fans to project their emotions onto. When celebrities deviate from these roles, it can provoke rage from fans. Celebrities who are narcissists use their false self to elicit constant attention and interest, and celebrity itself is a variant of narcissism.


Lidija and Sam: The Tide of Narcissism (1st in Series "Fly on the Wall")

Social media blurs the line between virtual and real reality, leading to addiction and confusion. The positive reward system of likes and shares encourages extreme behavior and radicalization. Social media creates a clash between reality and virtual or augmented reality, and the false self is unique on social media, not the real self. Narcissists use social media as an addiction to maintain their grandiosity and avoid disintegration.


Why Celebrities Die Young (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)

Celebrities, especially those who achieve fame at a young age, often experience profound isolation and objectification, leading to a sense of loneliness even in crowds. They are commodified and treated as profit-generating entities, which can result in mental health issues due to the pressure to maintain a public persona that differs from their true selves. This duality, combined with aggressive fan expectations and a lack of creative freedom, can lead to destructive behaviors and a feeling of non-existence. Ultimately, the relationship between celebrities and their fans is complex, marked by a love-hate dynamic where fans feel ownership over the celebrity, further complicating the celebrity's ability to develop a stable identity.


Jokes, Humor: Sadistic, Cruel, Weaponized (Excerpt)

The comic relies on a lack of empathy, where laughter often stems from the misfortunes and humiliations of others, allowing observers to feel superior and detached from the pain depicted. Jokes serve a sadistic function, providing gratification from the suffering of others while restoring a sense of cosmic order and safety for the audience. Additionally, humor acts as a therapeutic outlet, channeling socially unacceptable impulses and fostering self-awareness by reflecting on potential vulnerabilities. Ultimately, jokes create a socially sanctioned space for expressing darker aspects of human nature, facilitating bonding and intimacy among those who share in the laughter.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy