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Discontinuous Narcissist: Fractured and Broken

Uploaded 3/14/2013, approx. 2 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

The narcissist was conditioned from an early age of abuse and trauma to expect the unexpected.

His was a world in motion where sometimes sadistically capricious caretakers, parents, peers, teachers, often engaged in arbitrary behavior.

The narcissist was trained to deny his true self and nurture a false one.

Having invented himself, the narcissist sees no problem in reinventing that which he had designed in the first place.

The narcissist is his own creator, his own God, hence his grandiosity.

Moreover, the narcissist is a man for all seasons, forever adaptable, constantly imitating and emulating, a human sponge, a zen, a perfect mirror, a non-entity that is at the same time all entities combine.

The narcissist is best described by Heidegger's phrase, being and nothingness.

Into this reflective vacuum, this sucking black hole, the narcissist attracts the sources of his narcissistic supply, you.

To an observer, the narcissist appears to be fractured, broken, discontinuous.

Autological narcissism has been compared to dissociative identity disorder, also known as multiple personality disorder.

By definition, the narcissist has at least two selves.

His personality is very primitive and disorganized and even chaotic.

Living with a narcissist is an negotiating experience not only because of what he is, but because of what he is not.

He is not a fully formed human being, but a dizzyingly kaleidoscopic gallery of mercurial images.

These images melt into each other seamlessly. And this is incredibly disorienting.

It is also exceedingly problematic.

Promises made by the narcissist are easily disowned by him. His plans are ephemeral, his emotional ties a simulacrum.

Most narcissists have one island of stability in their lives, a spouse, family, their career, a hobby, their religion, country, idol, whatever, founded by the turbulent currents of a disheveled existence.

Thus, to invest in a narcissist is purposeless, futile and meaningless.

To the narcissist, every day is a new beginning, a hunt, a new cycle of idealization and evaluation and a newly invented self.

There is no accumulation of credits or goodwill because the narcissist has no past and no future.

He occupies an eternal and timeless present. The narcissist is a fossil, caught in the frozen lava of a volcanic childhood.

The narcissist does not keep agreements, does not adhere to laws, regards consistency and predictability as demeaning traits of weaklings.

The narcissist hates one food one day and devours it passionately the next. He hates you one day and devours you passionately the next.

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How I Experience My False Self

Narcissism manifests as a false self that overtakes the individual, leading to a profound sense of emptiness and disconnection from one's true identity. This false self, initially created as a protective mechanism against trauma, ultimately consumes the individual, rendering them a mere observer of their own life. The struggle between the false self and the desire for authenticity creates a paradox where the individual seeks validation and love, yet feels fundamentally absent and incapable of genuine connection. The realization of this absence leads to a terrifying acceptance of a life lived in a shared fantasy, where true liberation seems unattainable.


WARNING: Don’t Join Narcissist’s Death Cult (Narcissist Forgets, Recalls You DAILY)

Narcissists perceive others as external objects, leading them to dissociate and forget about those individuals, viewing their autonomy and independence as threats. This process of forgetting and recalling creates a cycle of frustration and aggression, ultimately driving the narcissist to seek to eliminate the external object altogether. They aim to absorb the qualities of others by negating their individuality, often leading to metaphorical or real destruction. The narcissist embodies a death instinct, spreading emotional decay and draining the life force from those around them, resulting in a shared cycle of deterioration.


Narcissist's Revenge: Signs YOU are in DANGER

The life of a narcissist is characterized by early trauma and abuse, leading to a grandiose self-image and a reliance on intimate partners to fulfill their fantasies. Frustration is perceived as a narcissistic injury, causing anxiety and leading to emotional dysregulation, where the narcissist may transition into a borderline state and potentially a psychopathic state under stress. Their aggression is often externalized and reckless, aimed at coercing others to conform to their internalized expectations, which can escalate to violence. Revenge for narcissists is typically driven by a need to restore their grandiosity and is often unhealthy, contrasting with the pragmatic, restorative approach taken by healthier individuals.


How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

Narcissists are victims of post-traumatic conditions caused by their parents, leading to ontological insecurity, dissociation, and confabulation. They have no core identity and construct their sense of self by reflecting themselves from other people. Narcissists have empathy, but it is cold empathy, which is goal-oriented and used to find vulnerabilities to obtain goals. Narcissism becomes a religion when a child is abused by their parents, particularly their mother, and not allowed to develop their own boundaries. The false self demands human sacrifice, and the narcissist must sacrifice others to the false self to gratify and satisfy it.


YOUR LOVE, Intimacy FEARED: Narcissist’s Perfectionism, Envy

Narcissists experience intense ambivalence, simultaneously feeling love and hatred towards those they depend on, which is rooted in their perfectionism. This perfectionism serves as a defense mechanism against their deep-seated fear of failure and self-annihilation, leading them to avoid genuine intimacy and connection. The narcissist's internal landscape is marked by envy and a fragmented identity, as they struggle to integrate their perceived flaws with their idealized self-image. Ultimately, their relationships are characterized by a need to control and internalize others, reducing them to non-entities to protect their fragile sense of self and avoid the threat of envy.


Masked Narcissist: Private Vs. Public Personas

Narcissists do not possess a true self; instead, they are a collection of interchangeable masks that they wear in different contexts, both in private and public. These masks serve as a facade, concealing an underlying emptiness and lack of identity, which is a result of early childhood trauma and abuse. The narcissist's persona is rigid and inflexible, preventing genuine psychological development and leading to a reliance on external validation and attention from others. This inability to engage authentically in relationships results in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and a failure to connect meaningfully with others. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence is characterized by a constant performance, devoid of any real substance or self-awareness.


Narcissist's Pain: Narcissism, Sadism, and Masochism

Narcissists experience a brief sense of relief and elation after emotional suffering, which they find addictive, leading them to seek out pain and humiliation. They inflict pain on others, often absentmindedly, as a means to project their inner turmoil and achieve a sense of control, resulting in their victims mirroring their abusive behaviors. This cycle of abuse is followed by moments of care and remorse, creating emotional instability for those around them. Ultimately, the victims become trapped in a state of emotional paralysis, reflecting the narcissist's own inner wasteland.


Narcissist's Wonderboy Mask

Narcissists have a conflicted relationship with their emotions, investing in things they feel they have full control over, such as themselves. To protect themselves from emotional contamination, they construct a false self, which insulates them from the risks of intimacy. The narcissist also creates a second mask, the wunderkind mask, which broadcasts to the world that they are both a child and a genius, making them less emotionally vulnerable. However, the indiscriminate use of these two masks can be detrimental to the narcissist's well-being, leading to emotional devastation and abandonment.


Narcissist’s Losses Are His Life

Narcissists engage in self-destructive behaviors that lead to the destruction of their relationships and environments, viewing loss as a catalyst for personal transformation rather than a setback. They perceive external objects and people as triggers for internal changes, using loss to manipulate their internal landscape and validate their negative self-image. This cycle of loss and abandonment defines their existence, as they oscillate between seeking narcissistic supply and pushing it away, ultimately leading to a life characterized by isolation and regret. The narcissist's inability to form genuine connections results in a perpetual state of grief over what they could have experienced, reinforcing their self-defeating patterns and emotional detachment.


How Narcissist Mortifies Himself/Herself

Narcissists experience a schizoid phase when faced with a lack of external validation, leading them to withdraw into their minds and rely on internal objects for self-supply. During this phase, they develop an internal theater populated by voices and memories, which serve as their audience, resulting in a solipsistic existence. This self-supply can lead to self-motification, where the narcissist confronts their shame and inadequacies, but instead of fostering growth, it often results in disintegration and a confrontation with deep-seated emotional pain. The narcissist's relationship with internal objects mirrors that of external relationships, cycling through idealization, devaluation, and discard, ultimately revealing the fragility of their self-concept.

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