Background

It Hurts to Move On, Healing is Painful

Uploaded 2/28/2023, approx. 2 minute read

Back with Sam Vaknin in his TikTok garden, the only place you never want to be, but you're still here, inexorably attracted by my Picardieous.

I am your favorite blue professor of psychology and the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism, Revisited and many other unmentionable tomes of deep erudition and insurmountable sagacity.

Yes, I love $10 words.

The only thing I love more than $10 words are $10.

This is old daddy jokes. Only old daddies can get them.

Okay, Shoshanim, Shvanpanim and baby seals. We all believeor are led to believe by the self-help industry that attending therapy or reading self-help books is going to transform your life.

And sometimes it does, but you should know the following.

Acts of self-love and healing are always painful. They always agonize it.

Getting rid of toxic but addictive people, posing discipline, goals and structure on dissolute and carefree lives, saying no to temptations and seductions, gaining insights into your shortcomings, self-inflicted wounds and failures, confronting trauma and abuse, investing hard work in introspection and therapy. These are arduous tasks. They're not pleasant. It's not a joy, right? You're going to suffer. Suffering is the coinage of healing. You're going to suffer and then you're going to heal.

There's no shortcut. There's no way around this.

You have been forewarned.

Now get to work.-

Thank you.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Hijacked by Narcissist’s Serpent Voice? Do THIS!

In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of separating from a narcissist and reclaiming one's sense of self. He emphasizes the need to identify and silence the narcissist's voice in one's mind, and to reawaken one's own authentic voice. He warns against premature therapy and the potential for internalized negative voices to collude with the narcissist's voice.


Weak People Pleasers? Walk Away!

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses weak people and people pleasers, who he believes are the core problem of humanity. Weak people are suggestible, malleable, and mutable, and they engage in the most disgraceful and antisocial acts simply because they cannot say no. They are enablers in the worst sense of the word, and they provoke abuse and engage in self-harming behaviors. Vaknin advises that people should forgive these individuals, but they should also safeguard their lives and protect their sanity by removing them from their lives.


Treatment for Narcissism: Cold Therapy Questions and Techniques: Seminar in Vienna, May 12-14, 2017

Professor Sam Vaknin is hosting a three-day certification seminar in Vienna from May 12th to May 14th, where he will teach cold therapy to a group of therapists. The seminar will be held at Hotel Amstel and will be limited to 20 participants to ensure personal attention. Cold therapy is a unique treatment modality that regards pathological narcissism as a form of complex post-traumatic condition and treats narcissists as children. The therapy uses 25 proprietary techniques, including erasure, the map of happiness, and other scoring, to re-traumatize the narcissistic client and recreate the hostile environment of the original trauma.


Individuation Last Phase Of Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of individuation after separating from a narcissist. He explains that the narcissist is a duality, making it difficult to separate and silence the narcissist's voice in your head. The process of individuation involves silencing the narcissist's voice, embodying your authentic voice, self-mothering, self-saving, and choosing life. It is about becoming a person with personhood and defining who you are without allowing anyone else to tell you who you are.


Caught in a Drama Triangle or Real Victim?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the drama triangle, a social model of destructive interaction among people in conflict. He explains the roles of persecutors, victims, and rescuers, and how individuals can shift between these roles. Vaknin also delves into the concept of learned helplessness and its connection to victimhood, as well as the fundamental attribution error and the Just World Phenomenon. He emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility and avoiding perpetuating a victim mentality.


Narcissist, Psychopath, Misogynist, Racist? Josh Neal Talk to Sam Vaknin

Sam Vaknin is a professor who has developed a new treatment modality called cold therapy for narcissistic personality disorder. He believes that language is an obstruction to understanding the physical nature of reality and that narcissism is a post-traumatic condition caused by abuse during the child's formative years. Vaknin discusses the decline of power structures in North America and Europe and diagnoses the narcissism of American presidents, including Barack Obama and Donald Trump, as well as Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.


How Victims Soothe Themselves After Narcissistic Abuse (NEW VIDEO + Compilation)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the topic of self-soothing for victims of narcissistic abuse. He emphasizes the fallacious narratives victims tell themselves and the need to take responsibility for their role in the abuse. He also highlights the importance of silencing negative internal voices before seeking therapy.


(Psychological) Resistance Not Futile, Just Bad FOR YOU

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of resistance in psychology, which is the use of psychological defense mechanisms to cope with uncomfortable information about oneself. There are four groups of resistances: comfort zone preservation, resistance to dread and panic-inducing insights and interpretations, cognitive distortions, and resistances intended to cement and defend a narrative. Resistances can be both externalized and internalized, and are linked to negative affectivity, aggression, and mood. To better understand and change the way resistances shape our world, it is important to focus on understanding people and the deep processes behind these psychological phenomena, rather than just observing their externalized manifestations.


Narcissistic Families: Pseudomutual, Pseudohostile

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two types of dysfunctional families: pseudo-mutual and pseudo-hostile. Pseudo-mutual families appear harmonious but suppress individuality and authenticity, while pseudo-hostile families engage in constant bickering to avoid deeper emotions. These family dynamics can lead to long-lasting impacts on children, hindering their development and sense of self. The professor also delves into the psychological background and the impact of these family dynamics on mental health.


The Narcissist's Inner World and His Intimate Partner: New Directions

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy narcissism, the prevalence of narcissism, the emotional components of self-awareness, the role of emotions in narcissists, the types of abuse, the characteristics of narcissism, and the effectiveness of cold therapy in treating narcissism and depression. He also explains the concept of trauma bonding and the challenges in breaking free from a relationship with a narcissist.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy