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Narcissist as Adrenaline Junkie

Uploaded 9/3/2010, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Narcissistic supply, admiration, julation, and in general attention is exciting. When narcissistic supply is available, the narcissist feels elated, omnipotent, omniscient, handsome, sexy, adventurous, invisible and irresistible.

When, on the other hand, narcissistic supply is missing or deficient, the narcissist first enters a manic phase of trying to replenish his supply. If he fails, the narcissist shrivels, is deflated, withdraws, and is reduced to a zombie-like state of numbness.

Some people and all narcissists are addicted to excitement, to the adrenaline rush, to the danger that inevitably and invariably accompanies reckless behaviors. They are the adrenaline junkies. All narcissists are adrenaline junkies, but not all adrenaline junkies are narcissists.

Narcissistic supply is the narcissist's particular sort of thrill, his drug of choice.

Deficient narcissistic supply is the same as absence of excitement and thrills in non-narcissistic adrenaline junkies.


Originally in early childhood, narcissistic supply was meant to hurt the narcissist, regulate his volatile sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

But narcissistic supply, regardless of its psychodynamic functions, also simply feels good. The narcissist grows addicted to the gratifying effects of narcissistic supply. He reacts with anxiety when constant, reliable provision is absent or threatened.

Narcissistic supply is pleasurable.

Thus, narcissistic supply always comes with excitement on the one hand and with anxiety on the other hand.

Excitement, because it's pleasurable, anxiety, lest it be withdrawn. Narcissist is afraid that he won't be able to secure narcissistic supply in the future and is therefore constantly anxious.

When unable to secure normal narcissistic supply, adulation, recognition, fame, celebrity, notoriety, infamy, affirmation or mere attention, the narcissist resorts to abnormal narcissistic supply. He tries to obtain his drug, the thrills, the good feeling that comes with narcissistic supply by behaving recklessly, by succumbing to substance abuse or by living dangerously.

Such narcissists faced with a chronic state of deficient narcissistic supply become criminals or race car drivers or gamblers or soldiers or investigative journalists or police officers. They defy authority. They avoid safety routine in boredom. No safe sex, no financial prudence, no stable marriage or career. They become peripatetic, they change jobs or lovers or vocations or avocations or residences or friendships, anything to generate excitement in their lives.

But sometimes even these extreme and demonstrative steps are not enough. When confronted with a boring routine existence with a chronic and permanent inability to secure narcissistic supply and with a pronounced lack of excitement, these narcissists compensate by inventing thrills where they are known.

So they become paranoid, full of delusional persecutory notions and ideas of reference and conspiracies. They develop phobias, fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of enclosed open spaces of cats or spiders. Fear is a good substitute to the excitement they saw crave and that constantly lose them.

Anxiety leads to the frenetic search for narcissistic supply. Obtaining the supply causes a general or transient sense of well-being, relief and release as the anxiety is abated and alleviated.

This cycle is addictive.

Anxiety, heightened anxiety, manic search for narcissistic supply, finding narcissistic supply, reduced anxiety, anxiety, relief, sense of well-being.

But what generates anxiety in the first place? Are people born adrenaline junkies or do they become ones?

No one knows for sure. It may be genetically determined. We may discover one day that adrenaline junkies conditioned by defective genes develop special neural and biochemical paths and unusual sensitivity to adrenaline. Or it may indeed be the said outcome of abuse and trauma during the formative years as is the current thinking.

The brain is plastic, easily influenced by recurrent bouts of capricious and malicious treatment.

Bear this in mind, we can also say that the prognosis for this particular behavior in narcissism, reckless behavior, adrenaline seeking, thrill seeking, prognosis is pretty good.

Since the brain is plastic, these processes are reversible.

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Narcissist's Cycles of Ups and Downs

Narcissists experience cyclical phases of euphoria and dysphoria, characterized by alternating periods of hyperactivity and lethargy, driven by external triggers rather than internal biochemical changes. These cycles, which differ from bipolar disorder, are influenced by the availability of narcissistic supply, leading to manic episodes filled with creativity and social engagement, followed by depressive phases marked by withdrawal and despair. To manage these fluctuations, narcissists engage in a process of hibernation to regenerate energy and strategize for acquiring narcissistic supply, often relying on secondary sources for validation during low periods. Ultimately, the narcissist's life is a tumultuous journey between these mini-cycles, reflecting their dependence on external validation and the instability of their self-esteem.


Narcissist as Spoiled Brat

Narcissists require attention and narcissistic supply, and when they cannot obtain it, they may experience decompensation, which can lead to acting out in various ways. Narcissists may resort to several adaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, passive-aggressive behavior, paranoid narratives, and masochistic avoidance. These behaviors are all self-generated sources of narcissistic supply. Masochistic narcissists may direct their fury inwards, punishing themselves for their failure to elicit supply, and this behavior has the added benefit of forcing those closest to them to pay attention to them.


Addict Narcissists: Substance Abuse and Reckless Behaviors

Pathological narcissism is an addiction to narcissistic supply, which is the narcissist's drug of choice. Other addictive and reckless behaviors such as war-camelism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, reckless driving, and even compulsive lying, piggyback on this primary dependence on narcissistic supply. The narcissist's addictive behaviors take his mind off his inherent limitations and bridge the gap between his unrealistic expectations of life and his inflated self-image. There is no point in treating the dependence and recklessness of the narcissist without first treating the underlying personality disorder.


How Narcissist Experiences His Collapse (Grandiosity Bubbles and Delusional Solutions)

When a narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply, they experience a phenomenon known as narcissistic collapse, leading to various internal dynamics and emotional responses. This collapse can result in a range of maladaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, and paranoid ideation, as the narcissist attempts to cope with their perceived failures and maintain a sense of self-worth. The absence of supply can trigger severe emotional dysregulation, withdrawal from reality, and even psychotic episodes, as the narcissist struggles to reconcile their grandiose self-image with the harshness of reality. Ultimately, the narcissist's reliance on external validation creates a precarious existence, where the loss of supply leads to profound feelings of emptiness and self-destruction.


Narcissist's Pathological Space: His Kingdom

The pathological narcissistic space is a geographical area, group of people, or an abstract field of knowledge in which the narcissistic pathology reaches its full expression and effectiveness. It is a territorially expanded false self that is achieved via sources of narcissistic supply. The existence of the pathological narcissistic space is independent of the existence of sources of narcissistic supply. The pathological narcissistic space constantly consumes and drains narcissistic supply, and it generates negative narcissistic accumulation.


Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.


How Narcissist Falls Apart (Compilation)

When a narcissist fails to secure sufficient narcissistic supply, they experience a profound emotional collapse similar to that of a drug addict undergoing withdrawal. This leads to a state of dysphoria characterized by depression, disordered sleep and eating patterns, and violent mood swings, often resulting in compulsive behaviors or alternative addictions. The narcissist may retreat into a fantasy world where they can maintain their grandiose self-image, developing paranoid delusions about others conspiring against them, which further isolates them from reality. Ultimately, the lack of supply can lead to self-destructive behaviors and suicidal ideation, as the narcissist grapples with their deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and loathing.


Narcissist's Routines

Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist's routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.


Narcissist Dreads Change, Uses Sex to Reduce Anxiety

Narcissists are change-averse due to their belief that they already know everything and their lack of curiosity about themselves and others. They also confuse their internal and external environments, leading to a fear that any change in the external environment will result in self-destruction. To reduce anxiety, narcissists engage in unusual psychosexuality and seek intimate partners to legitimize their sexual preferences. As society becomes more narcissistic, these behaviors become more prevalent, especially among women who conform to male stereotypes to gain attention and validation.


Narcissism as Addiction (ICABS 2019: International Conference on Addiction and Behavioral Science)

Narcissistic disorders can be reframed as a form of addiction, specifically an addiction to narcissistic supply, which includes attention and admiration. This dependence on narcissistic supply leads to reckless behaviors and other addictions, as the narcissist seeks to sustain their grandiose self-image and avoid the mundane realities of life. Unlike traditional addicts, who may have structured and ritualistic behaviors, narcissists exhibit a more flexible and inventive pursuit of their supply, often rationalizing their actions as part of their grand narrative. Ultimately, while both narcissists and addicts engage in self-destructive behaviors, the motivations and psychological underpinnings differ, with narcissists primarily seeking to regulate their self-worth through external validation.

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