Background

Narcissistic Grief in Pandemic (Intl. Conference on Psychiatry and Mental Health)

Uploaded 2/15/2021, approx. 28 minute read

Thank you very much for inviting me as a keynote speaker.

I would like to discuss today the narcissist's conflicted attitude to disability, illness, accidents, mishaps, and how this ties into the pandemic, into COVID-19.

The pandemic we are all going through had elicited two types of responses, and these responses are both among individuals and among collectives.

There are two families of responses, grief-related, responses of mourning, of grieving. And the second group is narcissistic defenses.

Recently, a group of mental health practitioners had suggested a neologism, a new diagnosis, coronaphobia, which encompasses extreme anxiety and phobia reactions to the coronavirus.

They define coronaphobia this way, an excessive triggered response or fear of contracting the virus causing COVID-19 leading to accompanied excessive concern over physiological symptoms, significant stress about personal and occupational loss, increased reassurance and safety-seeking behaviors, and avoidance of public places and situations causing marked impairment in daily life functioning.

Narcissists, especially somatic narcissists, narcissists who are concerned with their bodies excessively, these narcissists are far more likely to experience coronaphobia or generalized anxiety disorders than the general population.

But before we go to narcissistic defenses, which are becoming more and more widespread in the general population, before we go there, I think we need to discuss grief.

The pandemic had taken away from us everything. It had taken away from us our habits, our lives, our livelihoods, our access to other people, our families, our familiar sites, our neighborhoods, our communities, our hope, everything, absolutely everything. And it took away everything abruptly, unexpectedly.

So the grief, the mourning reaction is enormous.

The Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggested a five-stage model of grieving in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. Her model was actually inspired by her work with terminally ill patients.

Similar models were suggested long before Kübler-Ross by Erich Lindemann, Colin Murray-Parkes and John Bowlby, among others. But her model, because it was very catchy and it had five stages and it made a lot of sense, her model caught on.

And this is how we understand grief and mourning, the process of grieving nowadays.

So let me, let me apply each of the stages of this model to how people are reacting to the pandemic.

Denial. The first stage of the model is denial. When we are confronted with a massive disaster that had taken away our lives, we tend to deny that anything untoward or unusual is happening.

So we saw these reactions. People, people denying that the virus exists, there's no virus. People denying the diagnosis. People denying the mechanism of action. People saying the medical knowledge is wrong. The statistics are skewed. It will go away soon. It's not serious as it is made out to be. It's a conspiracy.

The next stage in the Kübler-Ross model is anger. As the pandemic persists, as the disease ravages millions of people, denial becomes impossible. Too many people around you are getting sick. Some people, you know, have died. How can you deny? You can't deny anymore.

Instead, frustration sets in and frustration becomes aggression according to Dollard's frustration aggression hypothesis in 1939.

What do you do with this aggression? You're frustrated. You're aggressive.

What do you do with it? You direct it at other people. You direct it at institutions. You direct it at authority figures.

Why me, you say? It's not fair. They're out to get me. How can this happen to me? Who is to blame? Why should this happen? It's a conspiracy. It's some malign endeavor to harm me, harm humanity.

Issues of mistreatment, erroneous guidance, inefficiency, and discrimination mount. That's the anger phase.

The third phase is bargaining. Gradually, the anger abates. It's ameliorated. Anxiety and anger are reduced.

And then you start to bargain. You're bargaining with reality. You're bargaining with yourself. You're bargaining with other people. You're bargaining with authorities and institutions. You're bargaining with God.

You attempt to mitigate the grief by avoiding the cause of the grief. So you try to change your lifestyle. You make various compromises.

Here, I'm putting a mask. Here, I'm socially distancing. Please, I don't want to be infected.

All these changes in lifestyle, in personal behavior, these are offered as sacrifices intended to secure health, to secure an extension of life expectancy.

Very much like in the ancient primitive times where people were sacrificing animals to the gods in order to secure health and longevity, religiosity, conspiracy theories, some forms of environmentalism, a belief, a surging belief in the occult or in esoteric practices.

The attempts to use placebos or irrelevant medications, all these are variants of bargaining. They involve rampant magical thinking.

Even the sentence, I will trade my life for his life. I will trade my life for her life. That's also bargaining. It's also trying to strike a deal, a transaction with someone, some supreme being, some power, the universe, fate, destiny.

The next stage is depression, capitulation in the face of overwhelming odds, learned helplessness, hopelessness, owing to all pervasive and extreme uncertainty.

People say, I'm so sad. Why should I bother with anything? I'm going to die soon. So what's the point? I miss my loved one. Why should I go on? I can't continue to live like this for much longer in the lockdown.

During this fourth stage, which is depression, the individual despairs at the recognition of their own mortality, of their own helplessness, impotence, in the face of overwhelming odds, regulations, and nature.

Body language and affect regulation, they're both impacted. Moodle abilityMood lability increases and sets in.

The affected people suspend communication. They become schizoid, lone wolves, isolated, avoiding all contacts, all interactions with the world, sinking into anhedonic inactivity.

Finally, the last stage, those who made it, is the stage of acceptance. Finally, people become used to the pandemic.

They become habituated to the new normal, to the natural or manmade disaster, as an inevitable part of life. Life goes on. Time heals all wounds. Better give up the fight.

A new narrative accommodates and incorporates the hitherto unthinkable and gives rise to tender tendrils of hope, inner peace, and restored emotional regulation.

The cycle ends with people coexisting with the virus and the pandemic in the long term, because it's here with us to stay. Whether we like it or not, it's not going away.

This is the first group of reactions. They're known as greif reactions.

At the same time, the pandemic provokes narcissistic defenses.

Narcissistic defenses exist in every human being, whether he is or she is a narcissist or not. Narcissistic defenses are inculcated and triggered in early childhood and they remain with us for life. They're intimately connected to healthy narcissism.

But when they go out of hand, when they involve other pernicious processes, they become problematic.

When narcissists fall victim to chronic or acute disease, when the narcissist survives a traffic accident, a natural disaster, they react in one of four typical ways, depending on the type of the narcissist.

Number one, the schizotypal reaction. The belief that the narcissist predicament is a part of a larger cosmic plan, some blueprint that governs the narcissist's life and inexorably pushes and leads the narcissist to greatness, to a fulfilment of submission.

It's a form of magical thinking, of course, trying to imbue the meaningless pandemic with some meaning, the arbitrary, capricious, vicious and cruel virus with some purpose.

It's a hopeless mission, but it's one of the typical reactions in the face, typical narcissistic reactions in the face of the unthinkable.

The second type of reaction is narcissistic rage. Narcissistic rage is intended to allay, to defer, to ameliorate, to reduce feelings of helplessness, loss of control and impotence, and to reestablish the narcissist grandiose omnipotent self.

Such rage is frequently followed, by a schizoid phase, withdrawal, avoidance, and then by a manic spurt of activity, seeking attention, narcissistic supply, support of some kind.

The third type of reaction is a paranoid reaction.

The narcissist deludes himself that the natural disaster was not a disaster. Someone is out to get him. Someone had planned it, the plandemic. The whole thing is contrived, powerful interests, some elite secretive cabals, there at work engineering this whole thing.

The narcissist casts himself in the role of a victim, usually in the framework of some grand design, grand conspiracy, or as the outcome of merciless fate.

Again, it involves magical thinking. It's a schizotypal element.

And finally, the final type of reaction, the last type, is the masochistic reaction.

In the wake of the illness, of the accident, of the disability, of the pandemic, the narcissist's constant anxiety is alleviated and he is relieved, having been punished properly for his inherent worthlessness, evilness, and decadence.

Narcissism is a compensatory mechanism. Deep inside, the narcissist feels inferior. He feels unworthy. He feels like a bad object.

So the pandemic is a kind of cleansing, kind of catharsis. He had paid the price, the due price, and now he can proceed, go on with his life.

More generally, narcissists hate weak people. They hate virulently, viscerally sick people. They hate it even more when the source of narcissistic supply ceases to function properly.

So if one of the narcissistsnarcissist's circle of nearest and dearest intimate partner, children, colleagues, if one of them is struck by the pandemic, by COVID-19, struck by an accident or by disability or by chronic illness and can no longer gratify the narcissist's wishes, cater to his needs, the narcissist becomes disdainful, contemptuous, furious, disparaging.

Most narcissists just move on, just abandon the dysfunctional intimate partner or colleague or children. They abandon the sick spouse. They find another. They find a healthier spouse. They abandon the sick colleague or the disabled colleague and they move on to another firm.

They can't abide by weakness and sickness, and they definitely cannot accept when their needs are not immediately attended to. They have a sense of entitlement.

Some narcissists play the role of martyrs, victims, selfless saints, and they garner narcissistic supply as they treat the bedridden spouse as they help the sick or disabled or accident struck neighbor or colleague.

They are ostentatiously altruistic and giving just to attract approval and affirmation of their value and worth as people.

The permanently disabled narcissist adopts one or more of these strategies, and we are likely to see these strategies in long COVID.

When the effects of COVID continue for months and possibly years, we'll have to see.

So in this case of long COVID, chronic illness, chronic disability, we have three possible defenses, narcissistic defenses.

One, exaggerated helplessness, which justifies emotional blackmail and the kind of insidious dependence that cripples the caregivers.

The narcissist is going to leverage his newfound disability and illness in order to extract benefits and favorable outcomes from his human environment.

The second response is control freakery.

Focus on control, obsession with control in a frenzied attempt to reassert the grandiose sense of omnipotence now gravely challenged by disability, invalidity, being crippled, being sick, being bedridden and so on and so forth.

And the third reaction is sadism. Sadism, which render his victim, the narcissist's victim, as helpless as the narcissist is and as frustrated as the narcissist feels.

He wants to drag everyone to his condition to bring everyone down with him. Misery loves company and no one loves misery more than the narcissist.

So when the narcissist is struck, struck by a disease, by an accident, by disability, he wants everyone around him to suffer with him, to commiserate, he wants to level the playing field, to normalize his disability. Everyone is helpless, everyone is sick, everyone is frustrated. So there is nothing really wrong with me. I am after all still perfect, still in control.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you very much for your valuable presentation. It's really appreciable and thank you for this great speech that enlighten and enter into the presentation.

And now we have a little issue that our next presenter is Dr. Mahatty Mukher. She's from India and she just went to her home as her children are alone in home and it's nearly 10 p.m. as she said in her country, it's in India.

So as per her request, I just read the abstract ones again for your information and after that we'll end the event for the day and we'll again start it after some days with our three valuable speakers from Germany.

We're not here due to some certain unavoidable work responsibilities.

Dr. Mahatty Mukher, she was from India and she had a presentation. Her presentation was sleep-sided and a clinical epidemiology presenting in psychosis, a case report. She will definitely present at the very moment but she was not here. We will again conduct this event within two or three days with our four to five speakers who are not available today for some work responsibilities.

All the afters you submitted that we'll publish in the journals and we'll send the links within 15 working days and also certificates will provide you within two working days. All the certificates will be sent to you through email and WhatsApp, mostly through the email only and also we will announce our next event within five working days and that is also a new webinar as we know that the pandemic situation is going on.

So we are unable to conduct any physical conference right now but we are committed that within four to five months we will conduct a physical conference very soon and also at the physical conference we will provide preheated accommodation to every speakers and delegates and our physical conference will be conducted in the end of this year but for now within two or three months we will again conduct all and even to some new speakers, new delegates.

So thank you very much and thank you very much for this lovely event and have a nice day.

I think Jessica wants to ask something if I see correctly.

Absolutely if it's okay just a couple of questions.

Sam I have a question for you from the survivor community.

A lot of domestic violence actually happens because of narcissistic abuse, it's narcissistic abuse or psychopath abuse and being able to kind of understand like that was part of my process is discerned.

You know who was I dealing with and what type of toxicity because that's it's extremely important because you don't handle it and you guys are all professionals, so you know they're not the same.

Some of them might step back a little bit especially the grandiose ones because they don't want to get embarrassed whereas psychopaths in my experience are like okay it's game time and then they'll try to destroy you because that's just a game to them.

My question is from a survivor perspective one of the things that a lot of the people that I've worked with and also been on a parallel journey with, sometimes we have what's called like fleas, so like narc fleas I'm sure that you've covered that in all of your studies and all of your research and experience, perhaps even.

But one of the things that was hardest for me in the beginning was I was convinced that I was a narcissist because I had dissociated from a lot of my emotions, and since I was displaying what I thought was like the checklist was all those things. And as you're reading or as you were talking I was like oh my goodness it's time for me to reevaluate.

And I think that that's something, I mean my personal opinion is something to kind of address that at some point everybody does have narcissistic traits, it's just a matter of if you're ebbing and flowing and if you have that awareness and that consciousness to say this is what I'm doing right now perhaps even in the survival mode, but this isn't healthy, and then being able to adjust.

And that's my, you know, that's my experience-based response, and I wanted to get your perspective on whether or not that's healthy or even accurate.

Well that's your lucky day because I'm the guy who coined narcissistic abuse and narcissistic fleas in 1995.

Oh I didn't know that.

Maybe it's my lucky day, I don't know.

I came up with these phrases because, at the time in 95, I realized that narcissistic abuse is fundamentally an essential essentially different to other types of abuse, because the narcissist targets the totality of the victim, not an aspect.

Psychopaths are goal-oriented, so psychopaths usually would target your money, or they would want to have sex with you, or they would want to have power over you and to use you as a proxy. Or, you're right, some psychopaths, especially if they're a bit sadistic, they would toy with you, as a cat toys with a mouse, and they would find it hilarious when you suffer, and so on.

But the narcissist targets absolutely everything, every trait you have, every behavior, every vulnerability, pushes every button. It's total abuse, total environment abuse.

So I had to coin a new phrase to describe it and I coined the phrase narcissistic abuse.

At the same time, I coined the phrase narcissistic fleas, and I was not aware of the work being done by Judith Herman, at the time, now I am, and there are numerous videos referring to your question on my youtube channel, by the way.

So I was not aware that Judith Herman was blurring the lines between Borderline Personality Disorder and complex trauma. And Judith Herman and many many other scholars afterwards had suggested that victims who are exposed to complex trauma, that means trauma that that continues for an extended period of time, has many repeated instances and is of the same nature like domestic violence.

So they had suggested that these victims would tend to gradually adopt narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors and traits, and they would be indistinguishable from people with borderline personality disorders, and to some extent narcissists and psychopaths.

Now, today the latest thinking is that borderline personality disorder is actually a form of psychopathy. It's what is known as secondary psychopathy, not primary psychopathy. Secondary psychopaths are psychopaths that have access to emotions and have empathy. So it's a kind of a bizarre hybrid. And today we are reconceiving of borderline as secondary psychopathy.

So if you put all of this together, you begin to realize that victims of abuse and all victims of narcissistic abuse suffer from CPTSD. They all have complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

So if you put this together you begin to realize that having been exposed to complex trauma, having developed reactive CPTSD, you actually ending up very close to the end of the spectrum when it comes to psychopathy, narcissism, grandiosity, borderline traits and so on.

In other words you're infected, it's contagious. Luckily for victims, it's reversible.

Because this is what Millman, another scholar, called situational narcissism. It's something that is acquired. It's a coping strategy, actually. You have to out narcissize a narcissist in order to survive. You have to think psychopathically in order to survive with a psychopath. So, gradually it becomes a second nature, becomes a habit.

Luckily, it's totally reversible. Totally. So, within up to five years these things go away. Because in the typical victim there's no foundation which exists in the narcissist or the psychopath.

But it's the dynamic online, which is where I will end my very long response, with apology. But what I'm witnessing online is extremely concerning, extremely worrying. Because I'm witnessing self-interested people, self-interested because they make money, a lot of money perpetuating the victimhood status of people.

Perpetuating it, for example, by engaging in what we call splitting. Telling the victim you are all good and your abuser is all bad. You had nothing to do with it. You had no contribution. You were a magnet. You were a passive recipient of evil, demonic.

I'm serious, there are people who equate narcissists with demons. They introduce religious overtones.

And there's this new thing of empaths. They are self-aggrandizing. And their alleged empathy or excess empathy is their claim to fame. And they can do no wrong, and you can never argue with them or criticize them.

Or point out that the victim-abuser diad is a complex feedback loop, and the victim does contribute to her or his predicament. And it would behoove the victim, it's very beneficial for the victim to have an unflinching look at her own psychology, and so on and so forth.

But if you dare say this online, today, you are excommunicated, and castigated, and they'll decapitate you. It's ISIS, absolutely ISIS. It's a cult.

I'm extremely worried by this development because it involves millions of people, not a joke. I'm extremely worried because these people will never exit the state of victimhood.

Victimhood becomes its own reward. Victimhood becomes self-enhancing. It is positive reinforcement. They are among like-minded people in echo chambers, and they're being told that they're angelic, they're flawless, they're blemishless.

This is the ultimate form of grandiosity. It's narcissism. They are pushed to become narcissists.

And just to refer you to some work which I think you may find very interesting.

Lately, a few months ago, I think, in March or something, there was an academic paper published, and the title of the academic paper was The Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood.

The tendency for interpersonal victimhood is a new construct suggested by a group of Israeli scholars headed by a woman called Gabay. So TIV is a new construct.

And what she says is exactly what I've been saying for well over 15 years. Given the wrong set of incentives, given the wrong set of reinforcements and incentives, victims become fixated in the victimhood face, and it becomes a dimension of identity.

So it's identity politics. It's exactly identity politics. I'm extremely worried by this by these developments. But you're right in our your observation that victims do evolve narcissistic and psychopathic traits and behaviors.

Yeah, I think I mean to add on to what you're saying. I think that's why I'm a coach rather than a therapist because for me I still focus on the end goal. I mean I've been very grateful for all the therapists and that I've worked with. But it's also what I needed at that point because I needed to sit to understand.

Whereas from a coaching mentality it's what is your end goal. So at the end of it there's always something that you're kind of focused towards, because a lot of the people I found, you know, in the beginning early stages of my coaching business, my intention was to help people out of that cycle.

And a lot of them, once they identified themselves as a victim, that was their identity. And so they didn't know how to get out of that. And it was very difficult, and that's why I deal with high achievers now.

Now that you mentioned therapy, I'll say one sentence and then Dr. Clavon wants to ask something. So I will say one sentence about therapy.

Therapy was constructed ab initio. When the first therapist came on the scene, Bleuler, Freud, others, they constructed therapy ab initio as a set of perverse incentives. Perverse incentives. Because the therapist has an incentive, financial incentive, to perpetuate the condition.

If he or she is a moral person, then at best, they will have a dissonance. I mean, it's good when the therapist struggles with herself to terminate the process, but many therapists are unscrupulous, absolutely unscrupulous, and they would perpetuate willy-nilly the victimhood state or the mental illness itself in order to make a lot more money. I've witnessed it. I'm not speculating.

And the good therapists struggle. There's no therapist alive who would say I don't want to make money. But they struggle. They have this moral dissonance and they kind of say to themselves it's not okay. You should cut it off.

But it's constructed on perverse, perverse incentives, to start.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing, and thank you so much for coming up with the narcissistic abuse and narc fleas. Game changer for a lot of people

I read your blog entry about grief, and that was my presentation also.

I have a couple extra steps in there but I was laughing as soon as you started talking about it. I'm going to send this to him.

I'm sorry that you have to wait, yeah. Please, you wanted to ask something?

Sam, thank you so much.

My first question is which part of Russia you come from. Second is, we talked about denial. So denial of individual is one thing, the denial of the countries like Russia and more so China in terms of the number of covid patients and origin of the virus, specifically in China. What do you say about it? Have you been able to talk to your counterparts in China? To talk about this denial thing which can create great social and psychological problems for the population there itself.

I am not from Russia, I'm an Israeli. I teach in Russia in the Balkans and Nigeria and many other countries.

There is a program known as SIAS, it's a consortium of universities, and this consortium of universities, including minor universities like Harvard and Princeton. They have an outreach program and the outreach program is called CIAPS, Centre for International Advanced and Professional Studies. And I designed the syllabus for psychology and finance in this outreach program.

So I teach all over the world, and in Russia I teach in Rostov which is in the South of Russia.

And today, we no longer make a distinction between individual and collective in anything, because we believe that the concept of in-dividual, the concept of an indivisible atom, which is the person, we believe this concept is bankrupt, is defunct.

We believe each person is defined by his or her relationships to other people. In other words, we went back to the British Object Relations school in the 60s. So today, you rarely talk, I teach personality theory, for example. And I rarely talk about an individual as an isolated ideal construct that has internal processes which are utterly independent of his milieu, of his environment, independent of his interpersonal relationships, independent of his workplace, independent of his society, his culture, his country, his period, the period in history, in which he is embedded.

I mean it's totally inane, not to say insane, to make these claims.

So today everything is relational. Because everything is relational, the boundary between collective and individual psychology is very blurred.

And today, we do, in scholarly articles and so on, we do diagnose pathologies of collectives, and we borrow words, we borrow the language of individual pathologies to describe collective pathologies.

So, denial would be a collective phenomenon, which is the equivalent of denial in the individual.

But because collectives involve many many individuals, the denial would be verbalized and we call this externalized denial.

Denial can be unconscious, as you know, denial can be unconscious. But denial in some disorders can be externalized or verbalized.

So, for example, typical borderline, someone with borderline personality disorder, or typical psychopath, someone with extreme antisocial personality disorder. They would deny, and their denial would not remain unconscious. They would externalize it.

And the reason the borderline externalizes is because her personality is not coherent. She has identity disturbance, there is no unitary self. So there's no control, it's chaotic.

But I think countries like China, countries like Russia and countries like the United States under the early months of Donald Trump, with the pandemic, Donald Trump was denying that there is anything he said it's nothing, it's going to go away. And you have many many leaders nowadays like Bolsonaro in Brazil, who claimed that it's actually a flu type of flu, you know.

So I think these denials are best conceptualized in terms of borderline and antisocial denial.

So they are actually, I'm sorry to say, psychopathic acts. It's a form of psychopathy. I'm sorry to say, it's politically incorrect. I hope YouTube will not strike this off.

But it's a form of psychopathy, definitely.

Because it's goal oriented. It's externally verbalized. It reflects deep, uncompromising denial, and it's aggressive.

It contains what we call reactance. In other words, it contains defiance. It's also saying no. It's on, in your face. And if you don't agree with me, I'll decapitate you. You know it's like it's an aggressive no, it's a violent no.

And this is one mark of a psychopath.

You tell a psychopath, for example, I think you're wrong, and you will see what I mean.

The psychopath will deny that he's wrong, then he will beat you up, then he will verbalize it, he will repeat 10 times, I'm not wrong, I'm not wrong, I'm not wrong. As he beats you up.

So it's a kind of psychopathic reaction on a collective level.

And the distinction is no longer maintained between individuals and collectives, because relational approach to psychology.

I hope I answered.

Yes.

So my question was that we must make it aware to the scientific community that these countries who are denying, and the people behind denial, must be held responsible, because they are doing a great injustice, not only to the world, but to their own people.

Of course.

So I think that's what is required. And I will ask Jensen to make it aware of that, you know, these kind of conferences should go and serve that purpose of helping the humanity, and making people aware of the facts. And what is the solution to that?

Yes. I fully agree, thank you very much.

I think Jason has abandoned us. We are abandoned children.

But are you still there? You're still there.

I mad mouth you, I smeared you. I smeared you, smear campaign, apologies.

Yeah, I can't blame him, frankly, too much lingo, too much defense. It's a defense against us. He's denying us.

We should request and we should have a like, our own, Jessica, Sam. You and me, we should talk offline. Also you'll get the contact details of each other.

Your pleasure.

It will be very important that we should make people, you know held responsible, and help those who are in need.

With pleasure.

And congratulations, Jessica for 0.05.

So I think my little daughter is also here trying to go into gymnastics. So I think you will be a role model.

So I loved your presentation, by the way, I unfortunately missed yours. But I loved your presentation. I had a client, I couldn't.

Excuse me, Dr. Powell. I'll share your phone number, email id to each and other. Okay, I'll definitely share to whatsapp and to email. And so that you will make a talking and we'll and it will benefit for the things.

And Jessica, Jessica's as well.

I have one question for Jason before you publish at least my article. I don't know about others. You must run it through us, basically. That what you are publishing it

Yeah, definitely. Actually we are sending it to our, some of our scientific committee and then they will then first read it and it will go through a perfect procedure. After that, only if any correction will be required then we'll again send to you and after the final PDF will be made then only after your approval. We will publish it. So it will take up to 15 working days. We'll in contact with you.

Yeah, Galley he will send you, send your Galley.

Do it other way around, send it to us first and then send it to your expert.

Definitely.

And I hope you had a good nap.

Poor guy.

Also I would like to thank our delegate, also, Dr. Christina Claudia here she was a participant in this event.

Dr. Christina is a helpful psychologist, and she's working in hospital of Santamarina. And she was also a great speaker in international webinar.

But this event, to see, he was participated as a participant, and she was also have some good speaking abilities and also has some experience in speaking.

So in the next conference, we'll also would like to request Dr. Christina Claudia she will join this event as speaker. She's also now here.

Dr. Christina can you hear me?

She's silent.

Wisely.

Thank you very much. For this great day.

And we'll again contact, we'll again keep the contact with all of the all of you and contacts will be distributed through the email and all the email, I descend our phone numbers of as you were interested.

For Dr. Jessica and Dr. Sam Vaknin. So we'll definitely share the contact details with each and other.

Thank you everyone. Thank you. Bye bye. Have a good day. There, stay safe.

You too.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist Sees You As TWO WOMEN Reframing Mortifications, Exiting Shared Fantasy

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist's view of their partner, the impact of cheating in relationships with narcissists, and the connection between moral and visceral disgust. He also delves into the role of the brain in processing these emotions and the potential impact on relationships with narcissists.


Your Threatening Love: Why You Stay, Why He Abuses You

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the mispronunciation of the word "serotonin" and the misconception of Eve giving Adam an apple. He then delves into the reasons why narcissists and psychopaths abuse their partners and why the partners stay in such relationships, exploring concepts such as core complex, sadomasochistic fit, and toxic coupling. Vaknin also touches on the psychological dynamics of aggression and violence in these relationships, and the role of mentalization in understanding and empathizing with others.


Cerebral Narcissist In Shared Fantasy Narcissistic Abuse And Mortification

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the potential mental health impacts of the pandemic, including waves of mood and anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and psychotic disorders. He also explores the concept of the narcissist smear campaign and the limitations of the narcissist in fulfilling multiple roles. Additionally, he discusses the phases of narcissistic abuse in a shared fantasy, which involves grooming, love bombing, and testing the partner's boundaries. Vaknin also provides etymological insights into the words "curfew" and "quarantine."


Opposites No Longer Attract How Narcissism Corrupts Mate Selection

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses mate selection and the impact of narcissism on modern relationships. He argues that people now seek partners who mirror their own traits and beliefs, rather than complementing them. This shift is attributed to the rise of narcissism, which has led to a decline in diversity and a focus on seeking validation and narcissistic supply from partners. Studies show that similarities, especially in political and religious beliefs, play a significant role in mate selection, and opposites no longer attract in long-term relationships. The professor also suggests that narcissism has degraded the mate selection process and poses an evolutionary threat to the human species.


Two Faces Of Narcissistic Abuse Disrespect From Shared Fantasy To Bargaining

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, including the two phases of the shared fantasy and bargaining phase. He explains how narcissists use stickiness to create a shared fantasy with their targets and then extract adulation, abuse, sex, and services. Vaknin also highlights the differences between narcissists and psychopaths and concludes that narcissistic abuse is a choice and a stupid one at that.


Pandemics: COVID-19 and Life's Meaninglessness (also in Abusive Relationships)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two pandemics: COVID-19 and the meaninglessness of life in abusive relationships. He argues that the COVID-19 pandemic is not growing exponentially, but rather in a linear progression, and that the pandemic is largely over. Vaknin also discusses the importance of meaningful interpersonal relationships and how narcissists, psychopaths, histrionics, and borderlines are incapable of having such connections. In abusive relationships, the abuser controls their victim by rendering their life meaningless and inconsequential, leading to self-destructive behavior and trauma for the victim.


Disease and Illness as Narcissistic Dynamics

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the relationship between disease, illness, and narcissism. He explores the subjective experience of disease, the impact on the patient's sense of self, and the challenges of communicating the experience of illness to others. He also delves into the psychological effects of chronic illness and the ways in which patients may internalize their suffering. Throughout the discussion, he emphasizes the complex and deeply personal nature of pain and illness.


Narcissist’s Two Rejections Giving, Love, And Abuse

Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the relationship cycle with a narcissist, explaining the narcissist's perception of love, abuse, and rejection. He discusses the narcissist's internal struggle and the impact of repeated mortifications on the false self. Vaknin also explores the concept of self-love and its connection to loving others, drawing from the works of philosopher Soren Kierkegaard.


Cuckolds, Swingers (Lifestyle), and Psychopathic Narcissists: Death of Intimacy?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychodynamic background of psychopathic narcissism, the compromise of the malignant narcissist with their partner, and the psychology of cuckolds and swingers. He also explores the concept of intimacy and the prevalence of casual sex, swinging, and cuckoldry in modern society, and the impact of these practices on meaningful relationships.


Shame and Mortification in Times of Pandemic (Intl. Webinar on Psychiatry, Alzheimer's and Dementia)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the topic of narcissistic mortification and its relationship to shame, particularly in the context of the current pandemic. He explains the psychological impact of the pandemic, the development of shame and narcissistic reactions, and the need for humility and social connection to address the impending mental health crisis. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing the psychological effects of the pandemic on individuals and society as a whole.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy