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Potemkin Narcissists: Fake It Till You Make It!

Uploaded 5/11/2016, approx. 5 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Clearly, there are two types of narcissists. Some narcissists end up being overachievers, pillars of the community, accomplished professionals. Other narcissists, their brethren, fade into obscurity, having done little of note with their miserable lives.

So, these are two types of narcissists. Those who derive ample narcissistic supply from mere appearances, and I call them Potemkin narcissists.

And then there are those narcissists whose narcissistic supply consists of doing substantial deeds, of acting as change agents, of making a difference, and of creating and producing things of value.

The former type, the narcissist of appearances, aim for celebrity, defined as being famous for being famous. They try to foster and propagate what I call an empty brand, name recognition without commensurate real-life accomplishments.

In contradistinction, the narcissists of substance strive for meaningful careers, significant lives, or be it all the time in the limelight. We find Potemkin narcissists with empty brands everywhere. For example, in politics, I call it the being there syndrome. It's manifested in the likes of Obama, Putin, and Sarah Palin. We find them in the media where, for example, compulsively self-promoting physicists like Michio Kaku or even Stephen Hawking are worshipped as transformative geniuses, even though in reality they are credited with a mere single esoteric and marginal contribution to physics decades ago. We find them in business, and the best example would be, of course, Donald Trump, or the infamous empty suits of yesteryear. And we, of course, find them in entertainment and show visits. Remember Paris Hilton or the Kardashians.

To create the empty brand, the narcissist cultivates a following. He cultivates a following by emphasizing his alleged distinct character traits. He overlooks behavioral modes, daring audacity, and even sometimes shallowness.

The narcissist would emphasize his shallowness in order to present his facade as proof that he is a common man, a typical member of the crowd.

Of course, everything I say applies to female narcissists as well, to women.

The narcissist transforms himself or herself into a fantastically grandiose cartoon, kind of a caricature of the unfulfilled dreams, aspirations, hopes, and wishes of his acolytes.

The Potemkin narcissist, the narcissist who emphasizes appearances over substance, accomplishes the impossible.

On the one hand, he resonates with the shortcomings, losses, and failures of his obsequious constituencies, of his rapt audiences. But at the same time, he ostentatiously flaunts his flamboyance, riches, and glamorous, meticulously documented life.

And this is a paradoxical admixture. It imbues his proponents, his fans, his followers, his adherents, and his admirers with hope.

Because they say, we are so alike, you know, this guy could have been me. If he made it, then surely can I.

TV reality show programs like The Apprentice or American Idol capture this yearning for a breakthrough, a deus ex machina, resolution and solution to the dreariness, shabbiness, and miserable hopelessness of the ever-average spectator's life.

As the late lamented guru, B.R. Grumfeld, noted, these are the very same elements that make up great fairy tales like Cinderella or Red Riding Hood.

A celebrity narcissist has a short attention span. He rapidly cycles between the idealization and the devaluation of ideas, of ventures, places, and people, including his own fans.

This renders the Potemkin narcissist unfit for teamwork, though energetic and at times manic. This kind of narcissist is indolent, lazy. He prefers the puff of least resistance, and he adheres to shoddy standards of production.

His lack of work ethic can partly be attributed to his overpowering sense of entitlement and to his magical thinking, both of which give rise to unrealistic expectations of effortless outcomes within grandiose or self-aggrandizing fantasies.

The life of the celebrity narcissist is chaotic and characterized by inconsistency and by a dire lack of long-term planning and commitment.

He is not really interested in people, except in their roles as instruments of instant gratification and of sources of narcissistic supply. Otherwise, they are of no consequence to him. They actually usually abhors and detests their dreary shabby pedestrian lives.

The celebrity narcissists' learning and affective irredition are designed solely to impress, and therefore this kind of narcissist is shallow and his knowledge is anecdotal. His actions are not geared towards creating works of lasting value, towards effecting change or making a difference. All he cares about is attention, provoking and garnering attention in copious quantities in a never-ending stream.

The celebrity narcissist is therefore not above confabulating or in plain English lying, plagiarizing, outright crime and otherwise using shortcuts to obtain his fixed narcissistic supply. He is a junkie, a drug addict.

The other strain of narcissists, their career narcissist, the narcissist of substance. Now, that's a totally different animal.

This kind of narcissist is very concerned with leaving his mark and stand on the world with his legacy. He feels a calling often of cosmic significance.

He is busy reforming his environment, transforming his milieu, making a difference and producing and creating an earthen, a body of work, an opera of standing value. His is a grandiose idé fix, which he then cathexes, invests with emotion and mental energy.

To scale these lofty, self-imputed picks, and to realize his goals, the career narcissist acts with unswerving passion and commitment.

As opposed to the celebrity narcissist, he is very stable and consistent and even I would say predictable. He plans, he inexorably and ruthlessly executes and implements his schemes, his stratagems, his conspiracies. He is a workaholic and he is in relentless pursuit of fame and celebrity and glory.

The career narcissist, the narcissist of substance, does not recoil from cutting the old corner, preferring the occasional confabulation or abscondling with the fruits of someone else's labor. And in this sense, he is similar to the celebrity narcissist.

But while these amount to the entire arsenal and the exclusive modus operandi of the celebrity narcissist, they are auxiliary and marginal as far as the career narcissist is concerned.

The career narcissist or the substance narcissist's main weapon is not inspiration, it's perspiration. It's toil and moil. It's hard work.

Career narcissist is also a natural born leader. When not a guru at the center of count, he operates as the first among equals in a team and he is capable of extended, fruitful teamwork. This is where the differences between the celebrity narcissist and the career narcissist are most pronounced.

The relationships maintained by the celebrity narcissist are manipulative, exploitative and ephemeral, passing and fleeting. The career narcissist by comparison is willing and able to negotiate, compromise, give and take, motivate others, induce loyalty, forge alliances and coalitions and benefit from these in the long term. It is this capacity to network that guarantees the career narcissist a place in common memory and an abiding reputation among his peers. This guarantees his legacy.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist of Substance vs. Narcissist of Appearances

There are two types of narcissists: those who derive ample narcissistic supply from mere appearances and those whose narcissistic supply consists of doing substantial deeds. The former type of narcissist aims for celebrity, defined as being famous for being famous, while the latter type aims for careers in the limelight. The celebrity narcissist has a short attention span, is indolent, and prefers the path of least resistance. The career substantial narcissist is very concerned with leaving his mark and stamp of the world with his legacy, is a natural-born leader, and is willing and able to negotiate, compromise, and network.


Prosocial Narcissist: Appearances, Not Substance (Aretaic, Not Deontic)

Pro-social or communal narcissists derive their sense of grandiosity from their ostentatious morality and public displays of altruism, often leveraging their ethical behavior to gain admiration and narcissistic supply. They can contribute positively to society, but their motivations are rooted in self-image rather than genuine moral obligation, distinguishing them from those who act out of a true sense of duty. The distinction between Deontic do-gooders, who focus on moral actions, and Eretaiq do-gooders, who prioritize their perceived virtue, highlights that narcissists are primarily concerned with how they are viewed by others. Ultimately, there are two types of narcissists: the celebrity narcissist, who seeks attention through appearances, and the career narcissist, who aims to leave a lasting impact through substantial achievements.


Communal, Prosocial Narcissist as Compulsive Giver

Compulsive givers are a type of narcissist who feel superior to those they give to, and feel exploited when they have to pay for the needs of others. They are people pleasers and co-dependents who force themselves on others and have unrealistic expectations of gratitude. They have alloplastic defenses with an external locus of control, meaning they rely on others to regulate their self-worth and blame the world for their failures. They keep a mental ledger of what they give and receive and use false asceticism and fake modesty to prove their nearest and dearest are ingrates.


Narcissists Have Emotions

Narcissists do have emotions, but they tend to repress them so deeply that they play no conscious role in their lives or conduct. The narcissist's positive emotions come bundled with very negative ones, and they become phobic of feeling anything lest it be accompanied by negative emotions. The narcissist is reduced to experiencing down-steerings in their soul that they identify to themselves and to others as emotions. Narcissists are not envious of others for having emotions, they disdain feelings and sentimental people because they find them to be weak and vulnerable.


Inverted Narcissist (Narcissist Codependent)

Inverted narcissists are a type of codependent who exclusively depend on a narcissist. They are self-effacing, sensitive, emotionally fragile, and sometimes socially phobic. They derive all their self-esteem and sense of self-worth from the outside and are pathologically envious. Inverted narcissists are narcissists, and it is possible to compose a set of criteria for them by translating the criteria available in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for the classical narcissist.


Narcissist's Routines

Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist's routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.


Masochistic Covert Antinarcissist

Anti-narcissism is a form of narcissism characterized by the externalization of emotional and cognitive resources, leading individuals to appear altruistic while actually seeking self-degradation and failure. This concept, introduced by Francis Pash, suggests that anti-narcissists invest in self-trashing behaviors, often linked to masochism, as a means of achieving a sense of calm and merging with their empty core. Unlike typical narcissists who seek grandiosity, anti-narcissists derive a sense of identity from their defeats and failures, often rejecting intimacy and success in favor of self-destructive patterns. The interplay between masochism and narcissism reveals a complex dynamic where self-inflicted suffering serves as a strategy for obtaining narcissistic supply, ultimately reinforcing their sense of worthlessness while paradoxically providing a form of self-affirmation.


Somatic Narcissists as Wannabe Gurus/Intellectuals

Somatic narcissists derive their self-worth from their physical appearance and sexual conquests, while cerebral narcissists gain validation from their intellectual prowess. A specific subset of somatic narcissists pretends to be cerebral, engaging in self-deception and deception of others, which classifies them as covert narcissists. These individuals often lack genuine intelligence and resort to stealing ideas from true intellectuals, presenting themselves as knowledgeable while actually being incapable of original thought. They pose a significant threat to society, often manipulating and exploiting others under the guise of being empathetic or wise, and should be recognized and exposed for their harmful behaviors.


Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.


Remain Friends with the Narcissist?

Narcissists are only friendly when they need something from you, such as narcissistic supply, help, support, votes, money, or sex. They also become friendly when they feel threatened and want to smother the threat with pleasantries. Narcissists are also over-friendly when they have just been infused with an overdose of narcissistic supply. Some people prefer to live with narcissists because they have been conditioned to treat narcissistic abuse as background noise and are compensated for the abuse by the thrills provided by living with a narcissist. However, inverted narcissists are typically unhappy and in need of help, which suggests that they are victims who experience the Stockholm Syndrome.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
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