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Potemkin Narcissists: Fake It Till You Make It!

Uploaded 5/11/2016, approx. 5 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Clearly, there are two types of narcissists. Some narcissists end up being overachievers, pillars of the community, accomplished professionals. Other narcissists, their brethren, fade into obscurity, having done little of note with their miserable lives.

So, these are two types of narcissists. Those who derive ample narcissistic supply from mere appearances, and I call them Potemkin narcissists.

And then there are those narcissists whose narcissistic supply consists of doing substantial deeds, of acting as change agents, of making a difference, and of creating and producing things of value.

The former type, the narcissist of appearances, aim for celebrity, defined as being famous for being famous. They try to foster and propagate what I call an empty brand, name recognition without commensurate real-life accomplishments.

In contradistinction, the narcissists of substance strive for meaningful careers, significant lives, or be it all the time in the limelight. We find Potemkin narcissists with empty brands everywhere. For example, in politics, I call it the being there syndrome. It's manifested in the likes of Obama, Putin, and Sarah Palin. We find them in the media where, for example, compulsively self-promoting physicists like Michio Kaku or even Stephen Hawking are worshipped as transformative geniuses, even though in reality they are credited with a mere single esoteric and marginal contribution to physics decades ago. We find them in business, and the best example would be, of course, Donald Trump, or the infamous empty suits of yesteryear. And we, of course, find them in entertainment and show visits. Remember Paris Hilton or the Kardashians.

To create the empty brand, the narcissist cultivates a following. He cultivates a following by emphasizing his alleged distinct character traits. He overlooks behavioral modes, daring audacity, and even sometimes shallowness.

The narcissist would emphasize his shallowness in order to present his facade as proof that he is a common man, a typical member of the crowd.

Of course, everything I say applies to female narcissists as well, to women.

The narcissist transforms himself or herself into a fantastically grandiose cartoon, kind of a caricature of the unfulfilled dreams, aspirations, hopes, and wishes of his acolytes.

The Potemkin narcissist, the narcissist who emphasizes appearances over substance, accomplishes the impossible.

On the one hand, he resonates with the shortcomings, losses, and failures of his obsequious constituencies, of his rapt audiences. But at the same time, he ostentatiously flaunts his flamboyance, riches, and glamorous, meticulously documented life.

And this is a paradoxical admixture. It imbues his proponents, his fans, his followers, his adherents, and his admirers with hope.

Because they say, we are so alike, you know, this guy could have been me. If he made it, then surely can I.

TV reality show programs like The Apprentice or American Idol capture this yearning for a breakthrough, a deus ex machina, resolution and solution to the dreariness, shabbiness, and miserable hopelessness of the ever-average spectator's life.

As the late lamented guru, B.R. Grumfeld, noted, these are the very same elements that make up great fairy tales like Cinderella or Red Riding Hood.

A celebrity narcissist has a short attention span. He rapidly cycles between the idealization and the devaluation of ideas, of ventures, places, and people, including his own fans.

This renders the Potemkin narcissist unfit for teamwork, though energetic and at times manic. This kind of narcissist is indolent, lazy. He prefers the puff of least resistance, and he adheres to shoddy standards of production.

His lack of work ethic can partly be attributed to his overpowering sense of entitlement and to his magical thinking, both of which give rise to unrealistic expectations of effortless outcomes within grandiose or self-aggrandizing fantasies.

The life of the celebrity narcissist is chaotic and characterized by inconsistency and by a dire lack of long-term planning and commitment.

He is not really interested in people, except in their roles as instruments of instant gratification and of sources of narcissistic supply. Otherwise, they are of no consequence to him. They actually usually abhors and detests their dreary shabby pedestrian lives.

The celebrity narcissists' learning and affective irredition are designed solely to impress, and therefore this kind of narcissist is shallow and his knowledge is anecdotal. His actions are not geared towards creating works of lasting value, towards effecting change or making a difference. All he cares about is attention, provoking and garnering attention in copious quantities in a never-ending stream.

The celebrity narcissist is therefore not above confabulating or in plain English lying, plagiarizing, outright crime and otherwise using shortcuts to obtain his fixed narcissistic supply. He is a junkie, a drug addict.

The other strain of narcissists, their career narcissist, the narcissist of substance. Now, that's a totally different animal.

This kind of narcissist is very concerned with leaving his mark and stand on the world with his legacy. He feels a calling often of cosmic significance.

He is busy reforming his environment, transforming his milieu, making a difference and producing and creating an earthen, a body of work, an opera of standing value. His is a grandiose idé fix, which he then cathexes, invests with emotion and mental energy.

To scale these lofty, self-imputed picks, and to realize his goals, the career narcissist acts with unswerving passion and commitment.

As opposed to the celebrity narcissist, he is very stable and consistent and even I would say predictable. He plans, he inexorably and ruthlessly executes and implements his schemes, his stratagems, his conspiracies. He is a workaholic and he is in relentless pursuit of fame and celebrity and glory.

The career narcissist, the narcissist of substance, does not recoil from cutting the old corner, preferring the occasional confabulation or abscondling with the fruits of someone else's labor. And in this sense, he is similar to the celebrity narcissist.

But while these amount to the entire arsenal and the exclusive modus operandi of the celebrity narcissist, they are auxiliary and marginal as far as the career narcissist is concerned.

The career narcissist or the substance narcissist's main weapon is not inspiration, it's perspiration. It's toil and moil. It's hard work.

Career narcissist is also a natural born leader. When not a guru at the center of count, he operates as the first among equals in a team and he is capable of extended, fruitful teamwork. This is where the differences between the celebrity narcissist and the career narcissist are most pronounced.

The relationships maintained by the celebrity narcissist are manipulative, exploitative and ephemeral, passing and fleeting. The career narcissist by comparison is willing and able to negotiate, compromise, give and take, motivate others, induce loyalty, forge alliances and coalitions and benefit from these in the long term. It is this capacity to network that guarantees the career narcissist a place in common memory and an abiding reputation among his peers. This guarantees his legacy.

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Classifying Narcissists: Sanity and Masks

Narcissism is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that can be categorized into various typologies, including those proposed by scholars like Theodore Millon and Drew Westen. Millon identifies four types of narcissists: elitist, amorous, unprincipled, and compensatory, while Westen categorizes them into high-functioning, fragile, and grandiose types. The distinction between cerebral and somatic narcissists highlights how individuals derive their narcissistic supply either from intellect or physicality, with each type exhibiting unique behaviors and interpersonal dynamics. Additionally, the concept of inverted narcissism describes individuals who are codependent on narcissists, seeking validation and self-worth through their relationships with them. Overall, understanding these typologies is crucial for recognizing the diverse expressions of narcissism and their implications in interpersonal relationships.


Narcissist of Substance vs. Narcissist of Appearances

There are two types of narcissists: those who derive ample narcissistic supply from mere appearances and those whose narcissistic supply consists of doing substantial deeds. The former type of narcissist aims for celebrity, defined as being famous for being famous, while the latter type aims for careers in the limelight. The celebrity narcissist has a short attention span, is indolent, and prefers the path of least resistance. The career substantial narcissist is very concerned with leaving his mark and stamp of the world with his legacy, is a natural-born leader, and is willing and able to negotiate, compromise, and network.


Prosocial Narcissist: Appearances, Not Substance (Aretaic, Not Deontic)

Pro-social or communal narcissists derive their sense of grandiosity from their ostentatious morality and public displays of altruism, often leveraging their ethical behavior to gain admiration and narcissistic supply. They can contribute positively to society, but their motivations are rooted in self-image rather than genuine moral obligation, distinguishing them from those who act out of a true sense of duty. The distinction between Deontic do-gooders, who focus on moral actions, and Eretaiq do-gooders, who prioritize their perceived virtue, highlights that narcissists are primarily concerned with how they are viewed by others. Ultimately, there are two types of narcissists: the celebrity narcissist, who seeks attention through appearances, and the career narcissist, who aims to leave a lasting impact through substantial achievements.


So, Is My Narcissist a Covert Narcissist? Nonsense vs. Scholarship

Covert narcissists are individuals who suffer from an in-depth sense of inferiority, have a marked propensity towards feeling ashamed, and are shy and fragile. They are unable to genuinely depend on others or trust them, suffer from chronic envy of others, and have a lack of regard for generational boundaries. Covert narcissists are not goal-orientated, have shallow vocational commitment, and are forgetful of details, especially names. Inverted narcissists are a subspecies of covert narcissism and are self-centered, sensitive, vulnerable, and defensive, sometimes hostile and paranoid.


Narcissists Have Emotions

Narcissists do have emotions, but they tend to repress them so deeply that they play no conscious role in their lives or conduct. The narcissist's positive emotions come bundled with very negative ones, and they become phobic of feeling anything lest it be accompanied by negative emotions. The narcissist is reduced to experiencing down-steerings in their soul that they identify to themselves and to others as emotions. Narcissists are not envious of others for having emotions, they disdain feelings and sentimental people because they find them to be weak and vulnerable.


Inverted Narcissist (Narcissist Codependent)

Inverted narcissists are a type of codependent who exclusively depend on a narcissist. They are self-effacing, sensitive, emotionally fragile, and sometimes socially phobic. They derive all their self-esteem and sense of self-worth from the outside and are pathologically envious. Inverted narcissists are narcissists, and it is possible to compose a set of criteria for them by translating the criteria available in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for the classical narcissist.


Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists may occasionally feel bad and experience depressive episodes, but they have a diminished capacity for empathy and rarely feel genuine remorse for their actions. They often project their own insecurities onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging the pain they cause. While they may experience fleeting moments of regret when faced with significant crises, this is typically short-lived, as they quickly revert to their grandiose self-image and resume their predatory behavior. Ultimately, narcissists prioritize their own needs and desires, objectifying those around them without true reflection on their impact.


Why Covert Narcissist Steals Your Life? (Psychosis, Rivalry, Envy)

Covert narcissists habitually steal from others, including ideas, relationships, and accomplishments, driven by self-aggrandizement, rivalry, and passive aggression. They often adopt the identity of those they envy, believing that by doing so, they can gain the recognition and supply they feel they deserve. This behavior is rooted in a profound psychological dysfunction, where they confuse their internal self with external realities, leading to a state of psychosis. Their actions are justified through various defense mechanisms, including denial, repression, splitting, and projection, allowing them to maintain a facade of morality while engaging in harmful behaviors.


Narcissists: Evil?

Narcissists can inflict harm on others, but their actions are not inherently malevolent; rather, they often act out of self-interest and expediency. While they may sometimes consciously choose morally wrong actions, they do not consistently do so, and their behavior is often devoid of genuine emotional engagement. The concept of evil becomes complicated when considering narcissists, as their actions resemble those of natural forces rather than intentional malice. A richer vocabulary is needed to accurately describe the nuances of narcissistic behavior and its impact on others, moving beyond simplistic labels of good and evil.


Collapsed Covert Narcissist: Dissonances, Indifference, No Boundaries

All narcissists oscillate between overt and covert states, with no type constancy, reacting to life circumstances and narcissistic injuries. The concept of a "collapsed covert narcissist" is introduced, where classic narcissists can temporarily adopt covert traits, leading to a complex interplay of behaviors and emotional states. This dynamic is further complicated by the narcissist's delusionality and cognitive dissonance, which distorts their perception of relationships and self-worth. Ultimately, it is rational for individuals to prefer relationships with strangers over known narcissists, as the latter guarantees emotional abuse and instability.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
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