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Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey! (Part 2)

Uploaded 11/1/2014, approx. 4 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

This is the outcome of deliberative analysis, not even the outcome of maliciousness or evil.

The narcissist holds in on other people's vulnerabilities, as a tiger mauls a strained, weakened gazelle.

The narcissist leverages his target's fears and neediness, the way a virus breaches cellular defenses and then uses the cell's machinery to replicate.

The narcissist thorns, abuses, torments, harasses, and stalks his prey because it's fun and imbues him with a sense of pleasurable omnipotence.

Acting this way is in the narcissist's nature. It's an integral and crucial part of who he is. It is his essence.

The narcissist X-ray vision, which we mentioned in the previous part, is strictly limited to the traits, qualities and behaviors of his would-be and actual victims that are useful in subjugating these victims and converting them into sources of narcissistic supply.

The narcissist arrested personal development, his massive psychological defenses, his poor reality test, his grandiose, his secretary fantasies, and his cognitive deficits render him incapable of true, profound and comprehensive insight into others and into the human condition in general.

So, contrary to widely held views and even to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual's criteria, narcissists and psychopaths may actually possess empathy. They may even be hyper-empathic, attuned to the minutest signals emitted by their victims and endowed with the aforementioned penetrating X-ray vision.

Narcissists and psychopaths tend to abuse their empathic skills by employing their empathy exclusively for personal gain, the extraction of narcissistic supply, or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals.

Narcissists and psychopaths regard their ability to empathize as yet another weapon in their arsenal.


There are two possible pathological reactions to childhood abuse and trauma.

One can become co-dependent or one can become a narcissist or a psychopath.

Both solutions, both reactions to childhood abuse and trauma involve fantasy as a defense mechanism.

The co-dependent has a pretty realistic assessment of herself, but her view of others is fantastic.

The narcissist's self-image and self-perception are delusional and grandiose, but his penetrating view of others is blood-curlingly accurate.

I suggest to label the narcissistic psychopath's version of empathy cold empathy, akin to cold emotions felt by psychopaths.

The cognitive element of empathy is there with narcissists, but not so its emotional correlate.

In other words, a narcissist empathizes through his mind, through his brain, not through his heart.

It is consequently a barren, detached and cerebral kind of intrusive gaze, devoid of compassion and compunction, and a feeling of affinity with one's fellow humans.

Narcissists and psychopaths also appear to be empathizing with their possessions, objects, pets and other sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits.

They empathize with their nearest and dearest, significant others, friends and associates, only when they can derive some benefit from them.

But this is not real empathy. It is a mere projection of the narcissist or psychopath's own insecurities and fears, needs and wishes, fantasies and priorities onto others.

This kind of displayed empathy usually vanishes the minute its subject ceases to play a role in the narcissist or psychopath's life and in his psychodynamic processes.

Cold empathy evokes the concept of uncanny value, coined in 1970 by the Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori. Mori suggested that people react positively to Android's human-like robots, for as long as these androids differ from real humans in meaningful and discernible ways.

But the minute these constructions, the minute these robots come to resemble humans too much, come to resemble humans uncannily, though imperfectly, human observers tend to experience repulsion, repulsion and other negative emotions, including overwhelming fear.

So, as long as the robots are easily distinguishable from humans, they are actually liked and loved, but the minute they become too human, they are feared and they revolt.

They provoke revulsion.

The same applies to psychopathic narcissists.

Psychopathic narcissists are near perfect limitations of humans, but lacking empathy and emotions, they are not exactly there, they are not exactly human.

Psychopaths and narcissists strike their interlocutors as being some kind of alien lifeforms or artificial intelligence, in short akin to humanoid robots or androids.

When people come across narcissists or psychopaths, the uncanny value reaction kicks in.

People feel, for some reason, which they cannot put a finger on, they feel revolted, repelled, scared. They can't put a finger on it, as I said.

What is it that provokes these negative reactions? They don't know.

But after a few initial encounters, they tend to keep their distance.

They realize, instinctually and intuitively that something is frightfully wrong and potentially ominous.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist or Psychopath? What Are the Differences?

Narcissists and psychopaths share many traits, but there are important differences between the two. Psychopaths are less inhibited and less grandiose than narcissists, and they are unable or unwilling to control their impulses. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil, while narcissists are absentmindedly and incidentally evil. Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply, while psychopaths do not need other people at all.


How Narcissist Dupes, Lures YOU Into Shared Fantasy

Narcissists and psychopaths create the illusion of being human through a combination of mimicry, emotional simulation, and manipulation of social perceptions. They exploit common cognitive biases, such as the Pollyanna defense, which leads people to assume others are generally good and truthful, and malignant optimism, where individuals believe they can "save" or change these individuals despite clear signs of their harmful nature. The lack of genuine emotional depth in narcissists and psychopaths allows them to imitate emotions and behaviors convincingly, often leading to a sense of discomfort known as the uncanny valley effect, where their near-human appearance triggers unease. Ultimately, these individuals operate as sophisticated social predators, using their skills to deceive and exploit others while lacking true empathy or emotional connection.


Simple Trick: Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline

Narcissists maintain one stable aspect of their lives, referred to as an "island of stability," while the rest of their existence is chaotic and disordered, leading to misconceptions about their character. In contrast, psychopaths lack any stable elements in their lives, resulting in pervasive instability across all dimensions. There are two types of narcissists: those who create compensatory stability by stabilizing one area of their life while everything else is chaotic, and those who enhance instability by introducing chaos into all aspects of their lives when one area is disrupted. The distinction between narcissists and psychopaths lies in their emotional engagement and the presence of stability, with narcissists relying on external validation while psychopaths operate without emotional depth or continuity.


Narcissists: Alien Life-forms, Lack Empathy!

Narcissists lack the ability to empathize, which is what makes them seem like alien lifeforms, robots, automata, or machines. Empathy is what binds humans together and is the essence of what it means to be human. Narcissists cannot truly communicate with other people, including their family, friends, colleagues, and even therapists. They possess a form of empathy called cold empathy, which allows them to exploit, manipulate, and humiliate others.


Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists may occasionally feel bad and experience depressive episodes, but they have a diminished capacity for empathy and rarely feel genuine remorse for their actions. They often project their own insecurities onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging the pain they cause. While they may experience fleeting moments of regret when faced with significant crises, this is typically short-lived, as they quickly revert to their grandiose self-image and resume their predatory behavior. Ultimately, narcissists prioritize their own needs and desires, objectifying those around them without true reflection on their impact.


Narcissism=Evil?

Narcissism is characterized by a form of evil that is indifferent and often unintentional, as narcissists inflict pain on others without deriving pleasure from it or feeling remorse. This behavior stems from their rigid personality and self-centered nature, leading to a mechanical and thoughtless form of abuse that is more akin to a natural disaster than a conscious choice to do harm. The fascination with evil in society is linked to a desire to confront repressed aspects of our own nature, yet the reality of evil is often banal and bureaucratic rather than demonic. Ultimately, the actions of narcissists and psychopaths reflect a lack of empathy and a prioritization of their own needs over the well-being of others, resulting in collateral damage that is not premeditated but rather a byproduct of their self-absorption.


The Signs of the Narcissist

Narcissists are difficult to spot, but there are subtle signs that can be picked up on, such as entitlement markers, idealization and devaluation, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often perceived as anti-social and are unable to secure the sympathy of others. They are also prone to projecting a false self and using primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, projective identification, and intellectualization.


Narcissists: Evil?

Narcissists can inflict harm on others, but their actions are not inherently malevolent; rather, they often act out of self-interest and expediency. While they may sometimes consciously choose morally wrong actions, they do not consistently do so, and their behavior is often devoid of genuine emotional engagement. The concept of evil becomes complicated when considering narcissists, as their actions resemble those of natural forces rather than intentional malice. A richer vocabulary is needed to accurately describe the nuances of narcissistic behavior and its impact on others, moving beyond simplistic labels of good and evil.


INTERVIEW Narcissists, Psychopaths Are Among Us! (with MIKE CROSS)

Psychopaths and narcissists are often misunderstood, as they can appear charming and engaging while lacking genuine emotional depth. They view others as tools for their own gratification, using a form of "cold empathy" to manipulate and exploit those around them. While they may convince themselves of love and loyalty towards close individuals, this affection is conditional and disappears when those individuals no longer serve a purpose. The distinction between narcissists and psychopaths lies in their motivations, with narcissists seeking attention and validation, while psychopaths pursue material gains and power. Ultimately, both types are seen as reflections of a society that rewards ambition and ruthlessness, leading to their prevalence in positions of authority.


Was Your Ex a Narcissist or a Psychopath?

Narcissists and psychopaths differ significantly in their emotional investments and motivations, with narcissists being emotionally invested in shared fantasies and seeking narcissistic supply, while psychopaths lack emotional attachment and are solely goal-oriented. Narcissists often engage in possessive and paranoid behaviors, such as stalking or hoovering, to maintain connections, whereas psychopaths can abruptly sever ties without any emotional repercussions. The concept of cathexis highlights that narcissists invest emotions in their fantasies, even negatively, while psychopaths exhibit flat affect and do not form attachments. Ultimately, the way each type reacts to the end of a relationship serves as a key distinguishing factor, with narcissists seeking to maintain contact and psychopaths erasing all traces of the relationship.

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