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School Shooting Psychology

Uploaded 9/7/2010, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Healthy narcissism is common and welcome in adolescence.

Their narcissistic defenses help them cope with the anxieties and fears engendered by the demands and challenges of modern society.

Getting home, going to college, sexual performance, marriage, and other rites of passage are very taxing and intimidating. There is nothing wrong with healthy narcissism. It sustains the adolescent in a critical time of his life and shields him or her from emotional injuries.

Still, under certain circumstances, healthy narcissism can transform into a malignant form, destructive to self and to others.

Adolescents who are consistently mocked and bullied by peers, role models, and socialization agents, such as teachers, coaches, and parents, such adolescents are prone to find the core in grandiose fantasies of omnipotence, omniscience, and revenge.

To sustain these personal myths and narratives, they may resort to violence and counterbullying. The same applies to youths who feel deprived, underestimated, discriminated against, or at a dead end. These youths are likely to evoke narcissistic defenses, to fend off the constant hurt, and to achieve self-sufficient and self-contained emotional gratification.

Finally, pampered adolescents, who serve as mere extensions of their smothering parents and their unrealistic expectations, are equally liable to develop grandiosity in the sense of entitlement, which are incommensurate with their real-life achievements.

When frustrated, such adolescents become aggressive. This propensity to other directed violence is further exacerbated by what Lush, Christopher Lasch, called the culture of narcissism.

We live in a civilization which condones and positively encourages malignant individualism, a civilization which elevates bad hero worship.

Remember the movie Born Killers? A civilization which regards traits and behaviors such as exploitativeness, inane ambition, and the atomization of social structures and support networks as welcome.

A alienation is a hallmark of our age, not only among youngsters.

When societies turn anomic under both external and internal pressures, narcissists tend to become vibrant.

In societies that are subjected to terrorism, to crime, to civil unrest, religious strife, economic crisis, immigration, widespread job insecurity, war, rampant corruption, and so on, narcissists come to the fore, they become pillars of the society, and they become aggressive and violent and in need of fulfilling their sense of entitlement.

This is because communities in anomic states offer little by way of externally imposed impulse control. They offer little by way of peer regulation of impulses, of penal discipline, and rewards for conformity or good behavior.

These societies have nothing to offer to their members because they are in the process of disintegration. In such settings of collapse, communities become serial and manic.

On a greater, remember Hitler, or a smaller scale.

Adolescents are no exception. They are equally influenced by their environment and surrounding.

They imitate and emulate the adult world. They too want to partake in the orgy of destruction and violence that has become our society and that is so visible and manifest in our media.

Thank you.

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The pathological narcissistic space is a geographical area, group of people, or an abstract field of knowledge in which the narcissistic pathology reaches its full expression and effectiveness. It is a territorially expanded false self that is achieved via sources of narcissistic supply. The existence of the pathological narcissistic space is independent of the existence of sources of narcissistic supply. The pathological narcissistic space constantly consumes and drains narcissistic supply, and it generates negative narcissistic accumulation.


Idealized, Devalued, Dumped

Narcissists have a cycle of overvaluation and devaluation, which is more prevalent in borderline personality disorder than in narcissistic personality disorder. The cycle reflects the need to be protected against the whims, needs, and choices of other people, shielded from the hurt that they can inflict on the narcissist. The overvaluation and devaluation mechanism is the most efficient one available to the narcissist, as the narcissist's personality is precariously balanced and requires inordinate amounts of energy to maintain. The narcissist's energies are all focused and dedicated to the task concentrated upon the source of supply he had identified.


Adolescent Narcissist: Personal Fable, Imaginary Audience

Healthy narcissism underlines personal development and growth well into one's teenage years, and is beneficial for adolescents to mature and become adults. Adolescents go through a phase of separation individuation, where they develop object relations or relationships with objects. All adolescents develop a personal fable, have an imaginary audience, have narcissism, have depression, and have pessimism, but grow out of all these. However, if these reactions persist, they can become pathological and predispose the adolescent to develop paranoia later on in life.


Narcissists and Codependents: Same Problems, Different Solutions

Codependence and narcissism are pathological reactions to childhood abuse and trauma. The codependent has a realistic assessment of herself but a fantastic view of others, while the narcissist has a fantastic view of himself but a penetrating view of others. The codependent seeks validation to restore a sense of reality, while the narcissist seeks narcissistic supply to enhance his grandiosity. Inverted narcissists are a subtype of covert narcissists who team up with classic narcissists to obtain vicarious supply. The overwhelming majority of narcissists have codependent traits and are dependent on other people for their sense of self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image.


Codependency State Of Mind, Not State Of Affairs

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the relationship between narcissists and their intimate partners, explaining that narcissists only need their partners to provide them with sex, supply, sadistic and narcissistic services. He also clarifies the terms codependent, counterdependent, and independent and discusses dependent personality disorder. The pathogenesis of co-dependency is brought about by parents who teach their children to expect only conditional transactional love, leading to the child feeling rage and anger at the unjust mistreatment. To overcome codependency, one should realize that the world never ends when relationships do, analyze their addiction, make a plan of action, and seek social support.


Monetizing Suffering: Victimhood Capitalism (Atlantico Interview)

Narcissism is on the rise, particularly among young people, and technology both reflects and enhances it. Society is becoming more narcissistic, and it is a positive adaptation as it can lead to success. However, the confluence of victimhood and narcissism is dangerous, as it can lead to a lack of empathy, entitlement, and exploitativeness. To combat this, it is important to redirect public discourse away from compensating for victimhood and towards overcoming it, emphasizing triumph and resilience.


Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers can have a significant impact on their adult daughters' relationships, with children of narcissistic parents being ill-adapted and prone to deploying psychological defense mechanisms. They can become co-dependent, needy, demanding, and submissive, fearing abandonment and displaying immature behaviors. Some children of narcissistic parents become inverted narcissists, craving relationships with narcissists, while others become counterdependent or even narcissists themselves. Narcissistic mothers micromanage their child's life and encourage dependent and infantile behaviors, emotionally blackmailing them and threatening to disinherit them if they do not comply with their wishes.


When the Narcissist's Parents Die

The death of a narcissist's parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist's trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist's unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.


Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

Narcissistic mortification is a challenge to the false self, which crumbles and is unable to maintain defenses and pretensions. Narcissists use two strategies to restore some cohesiveness to the self: deflated and inflated narcissist. Narcissists engage in mortification, a form of self-mutilation, to feel alive and free from commitment to their false self. Narcissists seek out borderline women to mortify them and experience the unresolved primary conflict with their mother.


Corporate Narcissists and Fraud

Perpetrators of financial frauds in the United States have been diagnosed as malignant, pathological narcissists. Narcissists are driven by the need to maintain a grandiose self-image and seek attention to validate their self-worth. This leads them to engage in fraudulent activities to bridge the gap between their grandiose fantasies and reality. Pathological narcissism is pervasive and independent of culture and society, but its manifestation and experience depend on the particulars of societies and cultures.

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