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Why NPD and BPD are Perfect Match?

Uploaded 10/18/2022, approx. 2 minute read

One last comment about narcissism and borderlines. This has nothing to do with sexual identity.

Narcissism and borderlines are a perfect match, and this is very surprising.

The narcissist tends to devalue and discard his partner, while the borderline has abandonment anxiety.

Ostensibly, the borderline would never select a narcissist as a partner because abandonment is guaranteed.

Rejection is a four-gun conclusion. Why would a borderline risk that?

Because she also has engulfment anxiety.

The borderline needs a partner who would, at some point, push her away, give her personal space, let her go.

The borderline, when she experiences intimacy, she feels bad, she feels suffocated and smothered, she wants to run away, approach avoidance, repetition, compulsion.

So she needs a partner who would, at first, idealize her and thereby ameliorate her abandonment anxiety, but then when she feels engulfed and enmeshed and digested and assimilated, when she wants to run away to avoid, would be able to discard her by devaluing her.

She needs both functions, and the only intimate partner who provides both functions reliably is the narcissist.

In the initial phases of the shared fantasy, when the narcissist love-bombs the borderline, idealizes the borderline, it reduces her abandonment anxiety.

And in the later stages, when she needs it, the narcissist is available to push her away, to get rid of her, to devalue her and discard her.

And then the cycle starts all over again because narcissists need to hoover and re-idealize their discarded partners.

I dwelt upon it in previous videos.

That's just a side comment to one of the questions I've been asked.


So here in Budapest, sunny, ethereal and beautiful, I wish you all an excellent day with fully formed sexual identity, sexual orientation and God willing sexual behaviors galore.

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Borderline to Narcissist: I Will Abandon You First

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Borderline Bible: Switching to Identity Disturbance, Psychopathic Self-state (Compilation)

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Borderline Triangulates with Rescuer to Silence Pain, Abandonment Anxiety

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How Borderline Sees YOU ( Intimate Partner)

Professor Sam Vaknin proposes a new diagnosis called covert borderline, which better suits men as it combines borderline and narcissism. Borderlines have two anxieties: abandonment anxiety and engulfment anxiety, which lead to approach and avoidance behaviors. In the approach phase, the borderline sees their partner as their savior and regulator of emotions, while in the avoidance phase, they become paranoid and view their partner as an enemy. This creates a roller coaster of emotions and pain for both the borderline and their partner.


Covert Borderline, Classic Borderline - Psychopaths?

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