Background

Why Narcissists Can’t Think Straight (Constructs, Introjects, Memories, Defenses)

Uploaded 11/30/2022, approx. 39 minute read

Hello, Shoshanim. If you want to have a truly terrible day, here's my advice.

Go to Skopje in North Macedonia and open an account with NLB Banka. I took all my money and ran as fast as I could.

Wow! Talk about a nightmare!

Okay, Shoshanim, today we are going to discuss a very complex topic.

Why can't the narcissist think straight? Why isn't he like us? I mean like you? Why doesn't he simply move from point A to point B? Why doesn't he recognize causes and effects?

Well, we all know that narcissists have cognitive distortions. For example, grandiosity. The narcissist falsifies reality in order to conform to his grandiosity to buttress his inflated self-image.

We also know that narcissists have dissociation, memory gaps and they invent all kinds of stories and narratives and scripts to paper over the abyss of their own absence. We know all this.

I dwelt upon all this in previous videos. There's also a video called the narcissist cognitive deficits, etc.

But today I want to offer you the reason. I want to offer you an etiology. I want to describe to you the inner landscape of the narcissist.

What goes on in this battle zone, in this civil war, which is the narcissist's psyche and who is better qualified than me?

Sam Vaknin, the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism, who revisited the Bible of Narcissism published in the 1990s, the book that coined most of the language in today's use.

And consequently, I'm a professor of psychology, inflicting myself upon hapless and hopeless and happyless students all over the known universe.

Narcissism is futileand a proper futile resistance.

Let us delve right into the narcissist soul.


Before I start, again for the nitpickers and the hair splitters, the genders are interchangeable.

Half of all people diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are women. So why do I use he?

Because in good literature we use the male gender pronoun. Is this fair? Of course it's not. Is this sexist? By all means, does it mean that there are only male narcissists?

No. There is an equal number of male and female narcissists today, not 40 years ago, mind you. But today there is.

Okay, I hope we have surmounted this obstacle and calmed down the rampant anxiety of the hundreds of you who have written to me about female lurking, malevolent, malicious emanations of female narcissists.

We know that all narcissists are binary. They all have a covert component and an overt component.

Now I've been saying it for decades and it has recently been accepted. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, a text revision published two or three months ago, they say it openly that the narcissist pendulates, oscillates and vacillates between overt and overt in a covert state. The covert state involves a collapse when the narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply.

He sometimes becomes covert. He also develops dysphoria and depression and so on.

So all narcissists are overt and covert. And these components of narcissism, of logical narcissism, somehow interact and they interact constantly.

However, one of the components is dominant, is public facing, is the facade. And one of them is lurking in the background, is recessive.

So an overt narcissist would be mostly overt.

And then when he collapses, when he can no longer secure the uninterrupted flow of supply, he will become covert. A covert narcissist who is unable to obtain supply vicariously by proxy through others or through passive aggression, can become sometimes an overt narcissist.

It's a similar situation with somatic and cerebral narcissism. There is no type constancy.

However, there is type dominance.

Okay. What triggers the transitions from overt to covert, back to overt and so on and so forth?

Circumstances. The environment, other people.

But all this has to do with four, four things.

Constructs, introjects memories and identity and defenses. The interplay between these four elements in the narcissist's psychology, the interplay is so intricate, so exceedingly complex that this is what renders the narcissist essentially crazy making in a way. This is why it's hard for neurotypicals, normal, healthy people to grasp the narcissist. And this is why the narcissist's behavior is not necessarily antisocial as it is alien.

When we try to conceive of the narcissist or to recall the narcissist we came across, we usually think of the narcissist as an extraterrestrial, an alien emanation. If you wish, a reptilian.

It's not human or not fully human.

And this is because the psychology of the narcissist is indeed discernibly different to the psychology of a healthy person.

To decipher, decode and understand the way the narcissist thinks and what causes the narcissist to be subjected to cognitive deficits, cognitive biases, cognitive deficiencies and cognitive distortions, we need to start with some academic background.

Constructs, a construct is a stable method of organizing raw internal data in a meaningful form. It is a way of organizing and making sense of the world, of oneself and of one's life. A construct allows you to make predictions.

A construct structures your experience.

Now everyone is constructs. A construct is a little like a museum. It is a structure and within the structure everything is organized either chronologically or thematically.

Your emotions, your cognitions, your memories, your identity, your experiences, they all follow a kind of timeline or a kind of logic. And it is this internal organization within the museum of your construct that renders the world comprehensible and even reasonable.

The constructs shape and mediate experience. I can rephrase this sentence and say that experience is mediated through the constructs and is shaped by them.

There is no such thing as direct experience. Everything is indirect starting with your sensor, your sensory inputs which are processed in special algorithms in the brain filtered and changed beyond recognition. And ending with your experiences, memories, events in your life, circumstances, the environment, other people. Everything is filtered through the membrane of the constructs. Everything is shaped by the constructs sometimes beyond recognition. Everything is made to fit in with prior data in order to avoid dissonance.

Experience is mediated through the constructs also because the constructs are hermeneutic exegetic mechanisms.

Now this is a very fancy way of saying that constructs interpret new data. Constructs are interpretative mechanisms.

When new information comes in via the sensors in other ways, when new information comes in, the construct takes over and interprets this information. And the construct interprets this information to conform to the construct.

The construct is self-preserving. The construct is self-maintaining and self-reinforcing.

So the construct filters out countervailing, contravening information.

Construct is a kind of echo chamber. It's a kind of confirmation bias machine or engine.

So the main role of the construct is to choose to select which data, which information will penetrate, will reach you and then to arrange these bits of information, to arrange this data into coherent frameworks, coherent arrays so that everything remains glued together. There's no dissonance, there's no conflict and there's no anxiety.

Indeed, one can say that constructs are actually anxiolytic mechanisms, anxiety controlling and anxiety reducing mechanisms.

Now in all people, multiple constructs are active. There are multiple active constructs in everyone, healthy and mentally ill.

But the active constructs are not or never mutually exclusive. They're never contradictory. They don't contradict each other.

There's a principle of non-contradiction. Of course, if the main aim of constructs is to create consonance, the opposite of dissonance. If the main aim of the constructs is to reduce anxiety and allow you to function better or more self-efficaciously of course, the main function of the constructs would be to not contradict each other, to not create dissonance and anxiety. This is a principle of non-contradiction.

Now examples of constructs are the persona, Jung's persona or Goofman's mask. The public face, the public personality that you show your colleagues or when you walk the street or when you're among strangers or when you're in social settings, that's a construct, this social facade.

Covert narcissism is a construct. These are all constructs. Incompatible constructs compete for scarce resources in binary narcissism, in schizophrenia, in psychotic disorders.

So what I'm trying to tell you, if your constructs are active and disagree with each other, you're in serious trouble. You're about to disintegrate. You're about to act out. You're about to lose touch with reality. You're about to mistake hallucinations, delusions and fantasies for reality.

The compatibility of constructs is essential, a prerequisite for your mental sanity. Insane people have competing constructs. Insane people confuse the constructs that have to do with the external and the constructs that have to do with the internal, the constructs that have to do with the world out there and the environment in here.

This confusion between external and internal underlies many mental health conditions, maybe actually the unifying principle of all mental illness and definitely explains well mental health phenomena such as pathological narcissism and psychotic disorders. And all of these emanates come from, emerges from a war between constructs, constructs which contradict each other, disagree with each other, fight with each other, battle each other for scarce resources, try to take over.

Now, if this is reminiscent of self-states, it is because self-states are closely identified with specific constructs. A psychopathic self-state would be identified with a psychopathic construct. A narcissistic self-state would be identified with a covert construct, narcissistic construct and so on and so forth.

So the self-state, not as a unitary proposition, but the self-state, the dominant self-state, the self-state that is in charge at any given moment uses constructs to interact with experience and mediate.

We are beginning to see the overall picture.


There are several self-states. They emerge in response to environmental cues, including social cues, sexual cues, circumstantial cues. So the self-states emerge. When they emerge, they make use of specific constructs, constructs which are specific to the self-state.

And that's why the constructs are segregated. They're demarcated. They lie in wait for self-state to activate them.

Now move on from constructs to introjects.

There's often a confusion between the two. As I said, constructs are stable. They make sense of the world. They are an organizing principle. They're an interpretative principle and they are total.

The construct is total. The minute a self-state makes use of a construct, the construct exclusively is the exclusive interface with reality.

Not so the introjects. Introjects are voices of meaningful others, voices of your parents, voices of your teachers, your peers, media, society, thought leaders, gurus, mentors, etc.

So for example, if you have listened to my videos long enough, you're likely to develop a sound waknin introject and you're likely to need help in an emergency room.


Okay, enough nonsense waknin. Move on.

So these are introjects. Internal voices. If you shut off, shut out all the stimuli in your environment, if you're in a deprivation tank or the desert or mid-ocean alone in a boat, you're likely to hear these voices talking to you because they talk all the time. There's no interruption. It's ceaseless.

So because these voices keep communicating with you, keep sending you messages, keep signaling to you, keep criticizing you, keep praising you, they always interact with you, these voices.

And there is a multiplicity of them, a multitude, a cacophony, a cacophony of voices. It's a whole orchestra, symphonic, philharmonic, harmonic. So it's a huge ensemble of voices.

You must make peace with these voices. You must reconcile yourself to these recurrent voices to avoid conflict, inner conflict and dissonance. You must lie to yourself, deceive yourself and say to yourself, these voices are me. I am talking to myself. There's nobody else there. These are not my parents. These are not my teachers. These are not my peers. It's me. I appropriate these voices. I identify with them.

They became an essential part of my identity. They are my identity.

This is wrong, of course. It's self-deception.

Sartre, the great existentialist philosopher, made note of this. He distinguished between the authentic self and all the rest, the introjects.

So this is an attribution error. To say the introjects are me, the introjects are my voice. This is an attribution error. You are attributing the voices to yourself and that is wrong. It's a mistake.

Now you remember that the self states triggered by the environment use constructs to interact with the environment. So they use constructs to interface with reality and to interpret the information from reality to filter out challenging and undermining and unsettling data and so on.

So the construct is like the graphic user interface. It's like your laptop screen. That's the construct.

And the self state is the operating system.

So the self state activates the screen and the screen interacts with reality.

So what's the role of the introjects in all this?

We know that some introjects are positive, some introjects are negative. Introjects always interfere with daily functioning. They're always on. They're on standby.

So we have, for example, a cluster or community of introjects known as conscience. Yes, your conscience is an introject, actually. These are the voices of your mother, father, society, teachers, religious leaders and so on. That's your conscience.

Your conscience is always on. If you do something bad, you will hear it. You will hear what it says, what it has to say. It says to you, you're bad. What you're doing is wrong. You should not do this. This is conscience.

It is actually an integral part or the outcome of the process of socialization. Mother and father are socialization agents and so are teachers and role models and sometimes peers. Society embeds itself in your mind through the introject or the group of introjects known as conscience.

So we know all this about introjects and we know that we have constructs. What's the interaction between them?

The self state activates the construct. The construct is in touch with reality. The construct filters out and modifies data from reality.

But what about the introjects? What do they do? And how do they interact with the constructs?

You see, the construct is in charge of reality. Construct is public facing. Construct brings information from reality and then arranges it in a way that is palatable and doesn't create dissonance and anxiety.

The introjects act from inside. The introjects provide information and data from inside.

So while the construct goes out there, has a job, so to speak, and comes home with the bacon, comes home with the data. The introjects operate from the inside to produce their own input, to produce their own info, produce their own data. These data are known as automatic thoughts. The speech of the introjects, what the introjects have to say, these are automatic thoughts.

Constructs use external input, mainly from people, but not only from people. Introjects provide internal input.

The constructs combine the external input that they have gathered from reality, from the environment, with internal input provided by the introjects.

The introjects are the soldiers of the constructs. They work hard in factories underground to produce automatic thoughts, to produce messages, such as the messages from your conscience.

Contract constructs activate introjects in response to environmental cues and data.

You remember that the experience of reality is mediated via constructs.

So what happens is when the construct is exposed to reality, the construct chooses to activate specific introjects in order to generate specific automatic thoughts.

Again, let's take a pause and recap. You're in a certain environment. The environment provides you with stimuli, with information, with data. This provokes in you a specific self-state.

And now the self-state chooses a series of constructs to interact with reality. The constructs take in the information from reality. They harvest the data from reality, and they arrange all this in a way that makes sense, organize everything, to yield meaning.

So the experience of reality is mediated via constructs.

But in order to make sense of reality, the constructs need to activate introjects.

You could say that experience reality interacts with the introjects via constructs.

The construct is like a bridge between reality and the introjects.

Constructs rearrange experience, reframe it to make sense of it. They need to communicate the new information and how to do that. They do it by selectively activating specific introjects.

So think of it this way. The construct gathers raw material. It's raw material. The info from the environment, data, stimuli, all these things are raw material.

And then there are factories for making sense, factories for producing meaning. These factories are the introjects.

The construct gathers all the information, all the data, all the stimuli, and then the constructs go to the introjects. And they activate relevant specific introjects, the kind of introjects that conform to the self-state and are not likely to produce dissonance and anxiety.

So there is a selective process of introject activation.

Constructs modify reality via behavior. And they select and reframe memories. But these are functions we will discuss a bit later.

Let us summarize the sequence.

The world is out there, big and large. So there's a lot of external raw data, numerous experiences, there's huge amounts of information out there. This environmental information triggers self-states. The self-state triggers the constructs. Self-state selects specific constructs, which are better suited to cope with a specific environment. The constructs activate introjects, and the output of these introjects, their input into the process, is automatic thoughts.

And then the constructs modify behavior in order to affect reality in specific ways. We'll discuss it in a minute.

Then they reframe memories, and they select specific memories, and they repress other memories. That's the sequence.

Let's take a construct as an example. Covert narcissism.

So there's a person, there's a person, and he's embedded in a specific environment. And let's assume that this environment is very critical of him, harsh, demanding, disagrees with him, humiliates him, etc. This triggers the covert narcissism construct.

Remember that the covert narcissism construct is about a failure to obtain supply.

The collapse of the narcissist, the inferiority complex of the narcissist, the dysregulated sense of self-worth and self-esteem of the narcissist, work hand in hand to render the narcissist covert after a state of collapse or even mortification.

There's a failure to secure a regular line of supply. Very often narcissists become covert, or they are already covert. At any rate, covert narcissism is another name, another name, for supply disruptions, collapse, failure, being a loser.

So the covert narcissism self-state, which leverages or uses the covert narcissism construct, makes sense of the world by informing the narcissist that he's a failure, that he is widely hated, that he is discriminated against, a passive-aggressive stance, that he is unworthy, unlovable, unattractive, stupid, ugly and so on.

The covert narcissism self-state in cahoots in collaboration with the covert narcissism construct affirms, buttresses the covert narcissist's feelings of collapse and failure. Covert narcissism is not compensatory, it's reinforcing.

The main message of the construct, the main message of the introjects activated by the construct, because you remember the self-state activates the construct, the construct activates introjects.

So the main message from these introjects are, you are not self- efficacious, don't even try, you will fail, you will never extract positive outcomes from the environment, you will never succeed.

Nowof coursesuch a message in covert narcissism conflicts heads- on with the urges and the drives of the covert narcissist. And so this creates dissonance, anxiety, internal conflict.

How to ameliorate this, how to mitigate these unfavorable outcomes, the information reaches the construct. The construct of covert narcissism anticipates failure and pain. The self-state of covert narcissism wants to fail, it feels very uncomfortable with success.

So the self-state selects constructswhich will guarantee failure. And the constructs then activate introjectswhich will inform the covert narcissist that he should fail, will fail, is a failure, failure and pain. These are the anticipatory expectations of the covert narcissism set of constructs.


But this creates, as I said, this creates a conflict with the covert narcissist's dreams and wishes and fantasies and urges and drives. Somehow this conflict, this dissonance must be prevented in order to prevent overwhelming generalized anxiety. Somehow the world must make sense in a way that will not threaten the covert narcissist.

So what the construct does, it reaches out to introjects and it activates them. What the construct does, the construct of covert narcissism does, it activates introjects that are guaranteed, guaranteed to prevent success.

I want you to understand that the covert narcissist feels threatened by success, not by failure. Failure is egodystonic. Failure in covert narcissism is feeling good. Failure in covert narcissism is the comfort zone.

So the covert narcissism, narcissist would be terrified by success, not by failure. And so the main job of the covert narcissism self-state, the main job of the constructs at the service of the covert narcissism self-state, and the main task of the introjects activated by the constructs at the service of the self-state, all of them will operate together in harmony to produce failure and to avoid success because success would threaten the self-state. Success would undermine the constructs because they are founded on collapse and failure.

The constructs want to survive and they drive you to behave in ways which will uphold them, not challenge them.

So if there's a construct founded on failure, it will drive you to fail. If there's a construct founded on success, for example, overt narcissism, it will drive you to succeed. If there's a construct founded on pain, it will drive you to seek pain.

Constructs are self-perpetuating and self-reinforcing and they activate only the introjects which support the message of the construct. The introjects are conformant to the constructs. The constructs activate introjects that produce automatic thoughts that support the constructs.

So if you have a construct based on failure, the construct will trigger introjects that will tell you that you're a failure. That way the construct will continue to exist and there will be no discrepancy, no conflict, there will be no dissonance, there will be no anxiety because you expect to be a failure, you know that you're a failure, your introjects are telling you that you're a failure, your construct is filtering out realities so that you believe yourself to be a failure and your self-state is founded on failure and collapse and everyone is happy. This is consonance, this is actually contentment, it's the comfort zone.

The constructs use introjects, as I mentioned. The introjects use or produce automatic thoughts, this is their output and their input to the processand these automatic thoughts shape behavior. If you think you're ugly you will never approach women, it would shape your behavior.

But the thought "I'm ugly, I will always fail with women" is an automatic thought, it is produced by introjects, maybe your mother introjects.

So, introjects use automatic thoughts to shape your behavior, to ensure that you conform to the construct.

So if the construct is a construct of failure, if the construct is founded on failure, founded on being a loser, the introjects will use automatic thoughts to shape your behavior, to ensure failure, to affirm and buttress and strengthen the construct.

I'm going to repeat this because even I did not understand it, I'm kidding.

If for example you are in a covert narcissism self-state, covert narcissism is founded on failure, covert narcissism emanates from collapse, it's about being a loser, then the constructs that are affiliated with a covert narcissism self-state will trigger introjects, activate introjects that will generate automatic thoughtsthat will shape your behaviors, then in a way that will ensure self-defeat and failure.

Why?

Because when you fail, when you defeat yourself, when you even destroy yourself, you are upholding, you are strengthening the covert narcissism self-state, you are not in conflict with the constructs, your anxiety is reduced, that's why some people feel great when they fail, that's why some people feel good only when they are being abused, they feel good only when they feel bad, because this reduces anxiety, it conforms to their self-perception, to their self-image, to their self-state, to the constructs inside them and to the introjects.

So construct affects your behaviors, modifies and changes it through the introjects and the messages from the introjects which are the automatic thoughts, it's a little like toxic plasmosis, you know this virus that invades your brain and then changes your behavior.

Now the construct organizes output, the output from introjects, in other wordsthe construct organizes the automatic thoughts, according to your identity, the constructs observe the principle of ego congruency, the output from the introjects coupled with the filtered data from reality must conform to reality and must conform to self-identity.

What is an ego?

The ego is reality testing to us, your memories, the ego navigates you, calibrates you in reality, the ego warns you of consequences to your actions for example.

So ego congruency means that whatever the self-state may be, whatever the constructs used by the self-states are, whatever the introjects activated by the constructs and whatever automatic thoughts are generated by the introjects, all of these must conform to reality and must conform to your self-identity based on your memories.

And so the construct as I said using automatic thoughts from the introjects modifies your behavior, inhibits certain behaviors, encourages other behaviors in order to secure outcomes from the environment that support your view of yourself.

If you regard yourself as a failurethe construct will use automatic thoughts from the introjects to cause you to behave in a way that will guarantee self-defeat and failure.

You got that I hope so.

But all this process must somehow conform to reality, you must fail in reality and they must conform, all this process must conform to how you see yourself, to your memories of yourself.

Automatic thoughts that conflict with realitythat are not upheld by reality, automatic thoughts that negate or clash on with memories are not effective.

If you have an automatic thought, if I have an automatic thought for exampleI'm stupid, it's very difficult for me to accept this automatic thought because I have 190 IQ, makes it difficult for mebut if I have an automatic thoughtI'm ugly, it's much easier for me to accept it because unfortunately I have a mirror.

So automatic thoughts must conform to my reality, my automatic thoughts must conform to my reality, must conform to how I remember myself, automatic thoughts must conform to what I know about myselfotherwise they are ineffective, dissonant, provoked a suspicion of manipulation, create estrangement for myself, make me feel weird and lead finally to the rejection of the automatic thoughts and the disabling or inactivation of the constructs because constructs can operate only with introjects. If I disable the introjects I disable the constructs as welland then I have a problem with reality because I fit a reality only through constructs, it's a dangerous state.

So the construct has to solve this problem.

Imagine that you have a self-state of a covert narcissist and this self-state of covert narcissist chooses covert narcissism constructs and these covert narcissism constructs activate introjects and these introjects tell you that you're a failure and a loser and you never make it and are unlovable and worthy, stupidetc.

So far so good because the covert narcissism self-state and the covert narcissism construct are founded on failure and collapse. So you're still within your comfort zone.

The messages from the introjects conform perfectly to your reality because you really fail in reality. You keep failing and they conform to your memories of yourself because you've always perceived yourself as a loser or failure or collapse.

But the construct needs to make sure that there is no challenge to this cozy arrangement between everyone and everyone.

That in other wordsthe construct needs to make sure that you never succeed because if you self-state and construct and introduce, they're all founded on failure.

If failure guarantees consonants, if failure reduces your anxiety, ensures that you're not dissonant, in other wordsif failure makes you feel good, because it's familiar, it's your comfort zone.

The construct's main job would be to make sure that you will never succeed because if you succeed, it challenges your self-state as a failure. If you succeed, it disables the construct. If you succeed, it silences the introjects.

And then you're going to feel bad. You're going to feel anxious.

So the construct must falsify reality. The construct must cause you to behave in a way that will alter your environment, for example. The construct must make you fail, keep you in a state of collapse. If you're a covert narcissist, because success is a threat, success is ominous. Success renders everything incompatible with the automatic thoughts. Your automatic thoughts is a covert narcissist's self-defeatingself-sabotagingself-underminingself-destructive.

So if you succeed, if you're self-affirming, if you suddenly love yourself, if you're congruent, if you're cohesive, if you're coherent, if you're accomplishing, if you're self-affications, you're in trouble. You're in trouble because this conflicts with your self-state, with your constructs, with your introjects, and with your automatic thoughts.

So the construct will cause you to behave in self-defeatingself-sabotaging and even self-destructive ways because it's the only only method, only path, and only trajectory to secure that there will be no conflict between reality and your self-state. There will be no conflict between the environment and constructs, and there will be definitely no conflict between the world and your automatic thoughts.

The construct causes you to alter reality, makes you behave in ways which modify reality, to yet again reinforce your self-perception, be it negative or be it positive.


The second job of the construct is to falsify memories.

The construct uses memories in a selective way to conform to the automatic thoughts.

There's three methods.

The first is dissociation. The construct dissociates incongruent memories. The construct shelves away, berries memories that challenge the automatic thoughts. That's one two.

The construct changes the emotional content of memories by reframing them and by attributing them. So the construct can, for example, tell younobody loves you. Nobody loves you and those who love you pretend to love you, they're just pretending.

So the construct attributes motivation to people, paranoia, persecutory delusions. Are a form of such misattribution and reframing it's often used by paranoia.

Is often used by constructs. So the construct changes how you see your memories, what you remember about your memories. The emotional content of your memories, it falsifies. It saysfor example, you think you were happy. You were not happy. You think she loved you. She just wanted your money. You think your friends thought you were attractivebut actually they were just using you. So he changes, he reframed the construct, reframes and attributes motivation and other things to peoplethat's the second way that the construct modifies behaviors or even falsifies.

So to remind youthe construct needs to falsify memories. So that they don't challenge the self-state and the automatic thoughts, and the first way to do it is dissociation. Simply bury, repress, forget memories. Second waychange the memories, reframe them so they conform.

And the third is selectivity. The construct accesses only memories that conform to the construct. And do the automatic thoughts and represses memories. The dit. The construct paints memories, paints them with a brushretroactively with elements that were not necessarily there. I call it memory plus.

The construct reinterprets memories and experiences, leverages cognitions and emotions, all at the service of maintaining internal consonants and congruence, all at the service of reducing ego destiny, all efforts at the service of avoiding dissonance and anxiety. These are the main roles of the constructs.

They need to allow the self-state to function efficaciously, if you are anxious, if you are dissonant, if you are unhappy, if you are doubtful, your self-state will be not efficient, your self-state will not be able to secure beneficial outcomes from the environment.

So the constructs are there to prevent any civil war, any disagreement, any encore words, any misfit, any situation where there's a battle or a disagreement between voices, between reality and memories, between memories and automatic thought, which are automatic thoughts. And reality, etc.

The constructs modify, falsify, change, alter, repaint, retouch, rehash, photoshop. This is the main job to create false internal environment to conform to an external environment, which is acted upon, to produce specific outcomes.

The construct, therefore, provides actually a wrong picture, wrong data. It keeps you ill-informed about reality and about your memories.

The construct interprets and filters external experience and internal experience, including memories, cognitions and emotions. But only in a highly specific way. A biased way.

The construct in other words is a bias.

Constructs exert absolute control over the way that you experience yourself, your life, and the world.

Construct tells you what to remember, how to remember it, and how to make sense of what you remember, how to change your behaviors to affect reality in a way that will support the self-state, and the construct, and the automatic thoughts, ultimately, the construct isolates you from reality in order to protect you from reality.

The construct manipulates reality to render reality palatable, and another tool, at the disposal of the constructs, isof coursedefense mechanisms, psychological defense mechanisms.

Modify the perception of reality to allow you to survive in reality. They're important tools of the constructs.

When the self-state takes over, a specific self-statetakes over, triggered by an idiosyncratic unique environment, the self-state mobilizes constructs.

Their role is to affect your behaviorto secure outcomes, to filter data, to reframe and rearrange information, to manage the introjects, activate them, and gather automatic thoughts.

These are the roles of constructs in order to create an environment which will prevent dissonance and anxiety.

One of the other tools at the disposal of the constructs is the famous psychological defense mechanisms. All these operate on steroids with the narcissist because the narcissist also has cognitive distortionsas I mentioned in the beginning.

The narcissist constructs are hell-bent on eliminatingactuallyreality by internalizing it. That's why the narcissist is unable to perceive external objects.

Youthe narcissist constructs obey the self-state and the self-states of the narcissist are very confused about external versus internal objects out there and objects in here.

And so the constructs are mobilized to secure that this confusion between external and internal never comes to your conscience, consciousnessnever rises to the surface.

The constructs are busy suppressing the realization that something is wrong with the narcissist.

The narcissist constructs are busy suppressing his realization is possible realizationthat something is wrong with him.

The narcissist constructs in conjunction with his interjects and the automatic thoughts generated by the interjects all of these are operate to secure a single outcome.

The integrity of the narcissist's fantasy lifeand convincing the narcissist that his fantasy is real.

There are problems with memoryproblems with identity.

The constructs of the narcissist work over time because they are faced with extreme gaps in memory, dissociative gapsincluding amnesia, depersonalization, derealization. They are faced with fluctuations in identity, a kind of identity disturbance. They are faced with numerous obstacles and problems.

And so they are forced to be extreme.

The construct of the narcissist are radical when they falsify reality. They falsify totallywhen they cause the narcissist to behave in ways which are uncompromising and extreme.

Because only extremes can accomplish any outcomes in an environment that is discontinuous and founded on a black hole of absence and void.

To a very large extentthis applies to borderline. But in a different wayenough for todaywouldn't you agree.


This is your construct, you're interject.

The automatic thought for today's keep watching my channel.

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Narcissist's Projection, Projective Identification and Victim's Introjective Identification

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of projective identification in narcissism. He explains that the narcissist's false self is grandiose and to maintain this self-image, the narcissist must ignore or deny certain emotions, thoughts, traits, impulses, behaviors, and qualities that contradict this self-perception. The narcissist then projects these onto other people, attributing positive or negative traits to them. Projective identification involves forcing the target of the projection to conform to the contents of the projection, forcing someone to actually become someone else, forcing someone to behave in ways prescribed by the narcissist. The narcissist uses projection and projective identification to manipulate inner objects, to force inner constructs, inner representations, inner avatars to behave in certain ways.


Push Narcissist’s 4 Secret Buttons: Gamma Man or Agent of Chaos, Madness?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the four secret buttons of the narcissist, which are the operating system of the narcissist's internal landscape. He explains how to push these buttons to manipulate or detach from a narcissist. Additionally, he delves into the debate about IQ tests and their limitations, and discusses the concept of gamma males in the social sexual hierarchy. He also explores the discomfort and chaos that narcissists bring into relationships.


Resist When Narcissist Triggers You Inner Voices (Death, God, Life Introjects)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the three types of voices in a narcissist: the voice of death, the God voice, and the life voice. These voices are introjects that originate from parental figures, role models, and caregivers. When a narcissist enters a relationship, they implant these voices in their partner's mind, triggering corresponding introjects in the partner. To heal from a narcissistic relationship, one must identify and eradicate these implanted voices and replace them with their own authentic voice.


Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists use code and a cipher to manipulate others, including various techniques such as counterfactuality, victim language, projection, gaslighting, and passive aggression. He advises ignoring the hidden message and not responding to the occult message when communicating with a narcissist. He also discusses the evasiveness of narcissists and psychopaths, their competitive nature, and their use of alloplastic defenses to shift blame and deny responsibility for their actions. Finally, he explains that mentally ill people cannot be reasoned with, and their speech acts and decisions need to be deconstructed.


How Narcissist Dupes, Lures YOU Into Shared Fantasy

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissists and psychopaths as being void of true emotions and empathy, and how they use mimicry and effective computing to deceive and manipulate others. He explains how their behavior is a form of aggressive mimicry, and how they present themselves as harmless or symbiotic when they are actually parasitic. He also touches on the evolutionary advantages of mimicry in these individuals.


Why Covert Narcissist Steals Your Life? (Psychosis, Rivalry, Envy)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the shameless plagiarism of his concepts and explores the psychology behind such behavior. He delves into the reasons why covert narcissists steal from others, including self-aggrandizement, one-upmanship, and passive aggression. He also explains the use of defense mechanisms by covert narcissists and introduces concepts such as the dual mothership model and narcissistic snapshotting.


Why Self-less Narcissist Can Never Love YOU (His Enemy)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of object constancy and introject constancy, drawing from Freud's theories and his own work on narcissism. He explains how introject constancy differs from object constancy and how it relates to narcissistic personality disorder. Vaknin also introduces the idea of introject libido and its role in the narcissist's internal world. He emphasizes the importance of emotional investment in internal objects and the impact on the narcissist's relationships.


Narcissist Is Your Dark Side You Envy Him, Want To Be Like Him

Professor Vaknin discusses the concepts of projection and reaction formation in the context of narcissism. He delves into the works of Freud, Jung, and other psychologists to explore how individuals project their own undesirable traits onto others and react to similarities with aggression and envy. He also touches on the dynamics of intimacy and conflict between closely related populations.


How Narcissist Deceives YOU ( Aggressive Mimicry Predator Faking Prey)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the various forms of mimicry used by narcissists, focusing on aggressive mimicry. He explains how narcissists mimic other species or individuals to deceive and attract their prey, using signals to lure and captivate their victims. The mimicry involves deception, behavior modification, and selective advantage for the narcissist. The predatory behavior of narcissists is compared to mimicry in the animal kingdom, highlighting the impact on the prey and the model. Defensive mimicry and various types of mimicry are also explored in the context of narcissistic behavior. Mimicry is presented as a predatory strategy used by narcissists to manipulate and deceive their victims.


Narcissist’s Extrinsic Values How You Adopt The Fantasy Ratchet

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of values, which are a confluence between how we view ourselves and the world ideally and how we think the world should conduct its affairs. Values are shaped by socialization and acculturation and can be intrinsic or extrinsic. Narcissists possess extrinsic values, which are associated with lower empathy and a focus on power and status. Societies with extrinsic values tend to be unequal and lack solidarity. The elites in such societies use fear, new frames of thought, and the values ratchet to manipulate the population. In individual situations, narcissists induce fear, redefine reality, and normalize the abnormal to control others. Values in the hands of narcissists are powerful instruments that reshape individuals and perpetuate fantasy as a substitute for reality.

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