Good evening, everyone.
My name is Kim McCord, and this is my co-host, Karen Belcourt. Together, we welcome you to episode number two of Pop the Red Pill.
Our topic tonight is the age of matriarchy. Our special guest is Dr. Sam Vaknin, a professor of psychology at the Southern Federal University in Russia, as well as a professor of both finance and psychology at the Centre for International Advanced and Professional Studies. He is the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and many other books about personality disorders. His work is cited in hundreds of books and dozens of academic papers. He spent the past six years developing a treatment modality for narcissistic personality disorder.
Welcome, Dr. Sam Vaknin. Thank you for having me.
****REDACTED
Let's say, you, Sam, it's much shorter.
Okay, we'll go with that.
Tonight, we will discuss women and how they are taking over the world in many ways, except for one.
My favorite topic.
So, Sam, I just want to say thank you for helping the world understand the unexplainable. Your contribution honestly makes an important difference to people like myself. Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
There's so much that we don't understand, and you give an understanding to that. So, thank you.
So, getting right into it, I want to ask you, through your recent studies, Sam, tell us about the evolution of women and why we have gained so much power recently.
Nothing is simple when it comes to women. I discovered in my long history as a man, and this is no exception. Everyone knows by now that this label of patriarchy, everyone knows by now that women had been subjugated, treated as property, chattel, had been abused and tortured, had been co-opted, had been exploited, etc., for millennia. At least starting with the agricultural revolution, because prior to the agricultural revolution, most human societies were egalitarian. Also egalitarian, gender-wise. So, men and women were co-equals, were equal in the generation of wealth, the distribution of food, the preservation of the unit. Usually it was a small, clannish unit, and so on and so forth. The agricultural revolution created a situation where there was a premium on muscle power, because you had to drag very, very heavy plows through the fields, and you had to constrain cows and bulls, and I don't know about cattle, and you had to have muscles. In the agricultural revolution, you needed to have muscles to prevail. And men are more endowed this way. They have more muscles. They have more brawn. And so the agricultural revolution revolutionized not only the means of production and the way we distribute food and the way we congregate because of surplus food, this is known as urbanization, the creation of cities, but it had more fundamentally transformed the power matrix between men and women. And then around the 17th and 18th century, there was a new period, it was called the Enlightenment, and people didn't need to work that hard because of technological advances, and so muscle, muscle power was being devalued. Muscle power lost its edge, and emphasis came to be on intelligence, networking, empathy, in other words, on social factors. We had transition from societies which harnessed essentially slave labor, both feminine slave labor and masculine slave labor. We had transitions to societies which harnessed knowledge, information and the processing of information in networks. So we had transitioned essentially from hierarchical societies to networked societies. Now, when it comes to this, women have the edge. Women network much better. They have much more empathy to start with. They are as intelligent as men, never mind the misogynistic myths online that women have, women's IQ is lower than men, that's not true. Women are as intelligent as men.
And so in these societies, women had acquired the edge.
Within a brief 200 years, because in terms of human history, 200 years is nothing. It's a blink of an eye. Within a brief 200 years, the power matrix had been inverted. And today, incontrovertibly, women are gaining the upper hand.
In colleges, to every three men, there are four women. In terms of graduation, two thirds of graduates are women. In many professions, anything from law to medicine to teaching, in numerous professions, men are the majority, sometimes overwhelming majority.
Now, many of these professions used to be male preserves. They used to be exclusively male. So women had taken over. Women hadn't penetrated all and hadn't broken all the glass ceilings normally.
As I said, 200 years is nothing. So women hadn't haven't really made serious inroads in high technology, for example, and in other fields. But they are on their way.
Nowwe know that education is the exclusive predictor of lifetime earnings. And we know that money talks. So by the end of this decade, women will have total equality in terms of income with men. And by 2050, women will be much richer than men and will have much higher incomes than men.
Even today, 43% of all primary breadwinners are women. Almost equality. It's almost equality.
Had women not been encumbered by childbirth and the need to raise children, women already would have surpassed men in terms of adjusted income. It's not the same as absolute income. They will already have surpassed men.
So men feel dejected. They feel rejected. They feel they've lost power.
Ask anyone. When you lose power, you become aggressive. You try to reclaim it. You try to counter attack, regroup and counter attack.
And so we're seeing the war between the genders.
Make no mistake about it. It's not about liberation. It's not about emancipation. It's not about any of these nonsensical ideologies. It's ideological nonsense that is a veneer trying to pass. It's about power. It's about money. It's about access. It's about opportunities. And it's about who will dominate who.
Yes, women are not averse to domination. They're not averse to dominating. So it's a war. It's an absolute gender conflict. It's a war. Women are winning this war big time. Men are losing this war big time.
And so men have retreated to toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is a recent phenomenon. It's a new phenomenon.
Because in the 19th century, the code was chivalry, being a gentleman. Toxic men in the 19th century were roundly rejected, for example, in novels, in literature. They were described as a scam.
But today, toxic masculinity is men's only answer to the ascendance of women. What else can they do? They can't put the genie back in the bottle. It cannot be done.
So what men are doing, they're isolating themselves. They're hurling insults at women.
And in the single arena where they still have an edge, which is sex and romantic relationships, they're abusing women and degrading them.
Because this is a way of getting back at women for being apathy, for being the winners, for humiliating men with their own accomplishments.
Now you could ask, so why don't men fight back by being even more accomplished than women? Why don't they fight back by attending college, for example? Why don't they?
Because men are spoiled, and they were spoiled by millennia of patriarchy. They were spoiled by millennia of not having to do anything in order to dominate.
If you had a dispute with a woman, well, you could beat her up. It's a very convincing argument. Or you could deny her legal rights. Or you could abscond with her property, as was the case in Victorian England, where the property of the wife belonged to the husband. Or you could even sell her, which was the case in the vast majority of cultures and societies until the 17th century.
And it's still the case with trafficking, human trafficking. So men got used over millennia.
They don't have to compete. They had to compete among themselves. But it never occurred to them that they would have to compete with their own property, also known as women.
So they are not prepared mentally, culturally, socially. They don't know. They were caught off guard. They are shocked by the alacrity and the quality of the changes. The transformation is too much for them, too fast, too soon.
Of course, this was all accelerated by the emergence of self-empowering technologies, technologies that had rendered people self-sufficient.
And for example, allowed something like 60 million Americans before the pandemic to work from home. So these technologies favored women, because empowering technologies always favored the underdog. It's a rule.
When there's a new empowering technology, for example, the competing press in the 15th century, it favors the underdog. So the underdog were the women.
And these technologies empowered mostly women. Ironically, most of the users of these technologies until recently were men. And the inventors of these technologies were all men.
But the great beneficiaries were women. And so today, women are self-sufficient. They make enough money. They have technological tools that empower them, including in terms of dating, for example. They raise their children mostly single-handedly.
Well over half of all children grow in single mother households. And to summarize it in the words of Michael Moore, you don't need us anymore. Michael Moore said.
Thank you. That was an excellent explanation.
Sam, citing your studies, the explosion of narcissism in our society is staggering. Can you speak to the reasons for this? And which generation and gender do you see the biggest increases in narcissism?
Where women had gone astray is when they had adopted toxic masculine role models.
Today, toxic masculinity is not limited to men. It is as prevalent among women. Women want to be toxic men. That is the role model. They want to be psychopathic, bullying, narcissistic men. Women did not adopt role models of good, hardworking men, conscientious men, agreeable men, nice men, good men, which have been the majority throughout history. Women had adopted the wrong masculine role models.
Now this is clinically established. There are studies that show that women describe themselves in exclusively masculine terms. That's a revolution because only 40 years ago, women had described themselves in exclusively feminine terms.
So there's been a transition and women today want to be men. That's for sure. Only they want to be the wrong kind of men.
When women are asked, young women under the age of 35, when they are asked to describe themselves using a list of adjectives, they have to choose eight adjectives. And so they choose seven out of eight adjectives describe aggressive, dominant, go-getter, ambitious, essentially psychopathic and narcissistic men. That's how women perceive themselves. That's what they want to be.
This is the ideal. That's where feminism had gone astray.
Now part of this stalled revolution, the clinical term is stalled revolution.
When you go to the literature, you look up stalled revolution and you'll see all the backup to what I'm saying.
The end result is unigender. All gender roles have been essentially abolished and we have a single gender.
So this single gender is men. So everyone is a man.
Some men have penises and some men have vaginas, but we're all men now.
Now when women had adopted these toxic masculinity, they had also adopted sexual scripts and social scripts that characterize predatory men.
And so for example, they had embarked on a spree of casual sex, but the bad sort of casual sex.
Casual sex where the anonymity translates to a lack of empathy, to lack of attention to the partner's pleasure, to self gratification at the expense of the other, the wrong kind of casual sex.
Because you could have casual sex, but on a one night stand, which would be wonderful if both partners attend to each other's pleasures, if they are empathic, if they're interested in each other as complete human beings, even a one night stand could be a wonderful experience.
That's not the case. Studies show conclusively that women and men engage in predatory, rapacious, dehumanizing, objectifying sex in casual sex.
And women massively contribute to this culture. They drive it actually, according to recent studies.
Why? Because they want to be like men. And when you talk to them and say, why are you doing this to yourself?
Because 10% of women orgasm in casual sex, compared to 75% in committed relationships. So why are you doing this to yourself? Why would you not want to orgasm?
I mean, what do you engage in this kind of sex time and again?
And so women say, well, you men had done it throughout history. Why can't we do it now?
It's a self-defeating approach because women buy into male shows chauvinistic sexual scripts.
By being a slut, a proud slut, a woman is buying into the way men wanted to be. Men dream of all women becoming sluts.
That's the male version of paradise, you know?
And so women by becoming men, by emulating the wrong kind of men, are handing back the victory to men.
They're empowering men, not women. And they are empowering men in a very important arena, which is interpersonal relationships, sex, romantic attachments, long-term bonding and committed relationships, family, maybe.
Families are on the decline. The marriage rate had collapsed by 50% since 1990.
So this is one aspect where women, I think, went astray.
The other aspect where everyone went astray, men and women, is the emphasis on career as the exclusive measure of one's happiness.
I'm not saying that career is not important. Career is very important.
Self-actualization through your work is a critical component of happiness, but not the exclusive one.
And yet young people, men and women, are taught that career, uber alice, career above everything, you need not get emotionally attached or have a steady boyfriend or, God forbid, get married because you might undermine your self-development and self-growth via your career.
So career has become the end-all and be-all.
And by the time people wake up, by the time they mature and realize that career is only one element and that you need others, it's too late.
Here is the fact.
Men want committed relationships, mostly between the ages of 25 and 30. Men's interests in a committed relationship pick between 25 and 30. After age 42, 97% of men do not want a committed relationship.
Women's interests in a committed relationship picks between 30 and 35. It is precisely when men's interests wane.
There's a total mismatch when men want to have a family and have a committed relationship or just a romantic relationship, just to love and companionship and women don't want it.
Why? Because they're in a men's world now. They want success. They want casual sex. They want to be an empowered slut.
And then by the time women wake up to the fact that they had squandered an alternative to happiness, which is being with someone, sharing your life with someone. Even if it's only for a limited period of time, by the time they wake up to this reality, there's no one there.
There's no one there. Men are not interested anymore.
So this mismatch led to an unprecedented situation. 31% of people are lifelong single. Another 15% are single, not by choice. Close to half of the adult population in industrialized countries don't have a partner for life.
This is the greatest plague of loneliness in human history.
Now, we had spinsters in Victorian times, spinsters, women who didn't get married, and we had the eternal bachelors.
But there were outliers. Today's the norm.
And people don't cope well with loneliness. They don't have the skills. They don't have loneliness skills. And they don't have intimacy skills because they've spent 15 years having emotionless, meaningless casual sex.
So they didn't learn to connect sex to intimacy. They didn't learn to have intimacy because it's a one-night stand. It's difficult to develop intimacy in one night.
And so they lack all the relevant interpersonal skills. And they also lack all the relevant intra-psychic skills.
In other words, for example, the ability to be happy when you're alone. People don't know how to do this.
So they resort to substitutes. Substance abuse is exploding. Depression rates are up 300%. That's before the pandemic. Anxiety rates are up 500%. That's before the pandemic.
So we are getting mentally ill. We're getting mentally ill because as genders, we had divorced each other and we had declared war on each other. Now it's becoming, coming to a point of hatred.
You have men haters. You have women haters. You have organized communities of men who are avowedly women haters, like MGTOW and Incel. These are people who gave up on women.
And you have a lot of men haters among women, definitely. Men hating and become, you know, Bonton.
So it's bad. It's not only gender-vertical. Like you don't know how to be a man and you don't know how to be a woman. It's called gender-vertical.
It's not that. It's a gender war. It's a gender war.
Now people say it's okay. It's great because we don't need children.
You know, why do we need, why men and women need to be together? To procreate, to have children. But we don't need children. That's nonsense. We need children more than ever.
Why? Because we age. The population ages. So we have a majority of population in industrialized countries above the age of 65. We have like 25% above the age of 65.
We need children to support these old people. For example, by contributing to pension schemes. We are running short of 20 to 30 million children a year. Within 40 years, by 2050, the whole, whole structure of society will collapse under its own weight because 50% of the population will be above the age of 65. 50% will be above the age of 65. We will have become a geriatric world.
But people are not having children. The replacement rate in industrialized countries, for example, in Britain and Germany, in Russia, even in the United States in the past two years, the replacement rate, the rate of childbirth is under the replacement rate. In other words, not enough children are being born to replace the people who are dying.
And so populations are diminishing all over the world and aging.
Some major catastrophe. There's nothing we need more than children.
But who is going to have a child nowadays? Who is crazy enough to have a child nowadays?
I mean, you child. Who is crazy to have a child nowadays?
People are less terrified by COVID or even by economic hardships.
But if you talk to men and women, women say there are no men out there. The men who are out there, they refuse to commit. They're not serious. They're not invested. They're effeminate. They're not masculine.
And when you talk to men, men say there are no women out there. They're disloyal. They are sluts. They are crazy bitches. They are narcissists.
So it's like both parties are totally radicalized.
Where will the children come from? No one wants to even cohabit. Long distance relationships are exploding as the main alternative to it. People stay away from each other as much as they can.
In tolerance at rich record levels, irritation with each other, friction. People can't tolerate each other anymore.
And so it's really bad out there. Really bad.
By the way, we have like nine minutes left in this session. So when we run out of minutes, if you want to continue, I'll send you another link and then I'll merge the files if you wish.
Okay.
That was an amazing little summary. Can you tell us about narcissism and the rise of narcissism in Gen Z, the 25 and unders?
What has happened with narcissism exploding like it has?
No, we first documented the rise of narcissism, the work of Twenge and Campbell and others. We first documented the rise of narcissism in 2008. So people born in the 80s, people born in the 80s. So it's way before the millennials and Generation Z and so started way before.
And among these people, the incidence of narcissism had one two points. It's five times higher than people born before 1980.
So narcissism seems to be, when we see such a phenomenon where a certain aspect of personality or behavioral attitude and so on increased dramatically, not incrementally, but dramatically, we believe that the environment had changed.
And so there was a need, by way of natural selection, if you wish, there was a need to become a narcissist to survive, like a survival strategy.
And indeed, if you look at modern society, modern technology, and the attendant modern cultures that emerge, you will see that narcissism had become a positive adaptation. In other words, if you were a narcissist, your chances to accomplish favorable outcomes to succeed are much higher than if you're not a narcissist.
I think our session, our session froze here.
There we go.
Listen, here's what I suggest. Let me end this session.
Yeah. We wait another five minutes. I sent you a link and we have another session and then I'll merge the two.
Okay. You asked me that last question.
Yeah. At the beginning ofthe conversation.
Okay. Yes. Okay.
See you soon.
Okay. Bye.
One second.
One second.
One second.
Right.
Go ahead. I was just going to say, did we go offline or did you? Because all of a sudden you were, to us, you were frozen. So were we frozen to you?
We mutually froze. It's a typical reaction when people confront me.
Thank you.
Okay. So my next question, Sam, is do you think that women are giving up our sexual power by acting like narcissistic males?
Yeah. I said in my previous answer that women, women bought into the male, the male chauvinistic sexual script. The male, women, women dress up and they act seductively and they initiate casual sex and so on and so forth.
Not a sign of agency or empowerment, but because they want to be hot. But the very concept of hot is a male concept. It's not a female concept. It was stolen from males. It was a doublet from men. Men want you to be hot.
Now there's a huge difference between being sexual and being sexy. Being sexual is a female thing. You are a sexual being. So you love sex, you do sex, you feel sex, sex imbues you with all kinds of emotions and cognition. So you're a sexual being. And that manifests usually in the bedroom. But being sexy is being an object, objectifying yourself. And who do you objectify yourself to? You objectifying yourself to men. Men are the arbiters. Men are the judges or whether you're hot or not hot. So you adopt your behavior and you dress code and your speech and your choices and you buy into the male sexual script.
Now this is the last domain where men have utter total and mitigated control of the arena. Whether you think so as a woman or not, men make the decisions from A to Z. That's bad. That's bad news for women. Because men are very angry and very aggressive right now. And this is going to be expressed via the only area where they are still dominant, which is sex and interpersonal relationships. So we have, for example, the rise of pornography. In pornography, in the vast majority of pornography, women are utterly objectified and degraded as the only form, the only form of sex. I mean, there's a place for degradation and humiliation in BDSM and in sex. It's a variant of sex. It's a form of kinky sex. It's a form of sexual variant of kinky sex. And it adds spice. It's not necessarily an entirely bad thing. But when it becomes the exclusive mode of sexuality, it deprives one of the participants, the woman of humanity. It renders her a rag doll, an object. This is precisely what happens, for example, in the hookup culture in colleges. This is precisely what happens when women date in the so-called dating scene. Dating today is glorified hookups. No one dates. Men come to a date fully expecting sex. And if you refuse to give them sex, they become aggressive and sometimes violent. And when you do agree to have sex with them, they use you, they use your body to masturbate with you. As simple as that. They refuse to give you oral sex. They refuse to please you. They refuse to pay attention to you. They finish with you. They dump you and discard you. It is an abridged version of narcissistic abuse. So today, rather than say, rather than say, that's it. If this is the kind of sex you're giving us, you're not going to get sex anymore.
Dear men, ship up or ship out.
Instead of saying this, women are saying, okay, we're going to play it by your rules. You want us to be hot. You want us to be sexy. You want us to wear skimpy clothing to be half naked. You want us to pretend that we like your sex just to please you and cater to your needs and bruised egos. We'll go along because if these are the rules of the only game in town, then we're going to play this game.
I'm saying that women should opt out and this is the true form of empowerment. Empowerment is not about saying yes. Any idiot can say yes. Saying yes is a form of spinelessness, of weakness, of subservience. It's not a sign of any kind of imaginable empowerment to try to imitate a porn star.
The real empowerment is the ability to place firm boundaries and then to enforce them and to insist on your values, whichever they may be. I'm not making any judgment call here. Whatever your values may be, maybe your values drive you towards casual sex. Go for it. Have fun. But insist on boundaries and on your self-respect and dignity and on your values. And if you don't do any of these things, you are not an empowered woman. You're a concubine. You're a geisha. You're a prostitute. Never mind how glorified the act of prostitution is, you still trade sex for a few drinks in the company of an ostensible man. I'm saying ostensible because men don't know how to be men anymore. And women don't know how to be women.
Women. It's a total utter chaotic mess out there. This dating scene is a cesspool. And dating apps are not helping. They're not helping, first of all, because it's exceedingly difficult to find matches. People spending ordinary amounts of time finally finding a match.
And then there is this insistence on the first date to have full fledged penetrative sex intercourse and so on.
Aenon usually, by the way, majority of encounters involve anal sex, which is painful. When two strangers do it, it's very painful because you have to really know the partner's body. It's an unprecedented scene out there. And for that, I blame women.
Squarely, I blame women. Not because I'm misogynistic, on the very contrary. Many of the statements I made today are, if anything, you know, against men. But for that, for the deterioration in sex and interpersonal relationships, I blame women squarely because women have chosen the wrong male model, wrong males as role models.
Women are trying to become more men than men. And they do it by adopting a caricature, a caricature of masculinity known as toxic masculinity. And when they did this, when women had made this choice, which was more or less around the late 1990s, when women started to adopt these models and behave this way, it had ruined everything because it creates escalation. Men regard toxic masculinity as the last remaining bastion of male dominance. And now women are attacking this fortress, this remaining fortress. Men are becoming as toxic in terms of masculinity as men. So men feel totally cornered, totally besieged, like they have never left to go. And they're fighting back. And the fight is going to escalate and become really, really, really ugly.
For example, 27% of first days end in sexual assault. It's a shocking number. 15% of college, female college students are raped. Three to four% are gang raped. Of female college students.
This is not Zimbabwe or, you know, the depths of Congo. This is Harvard. Well, Harvard is a good case, actually. This is, you know, your neighborhood, your community college.
There's a war going on. There's a war going on. These are the reported numbers.
You ask me, majority of women are sexually assaulted.
So Sam, although we're talking about this is the age of matriarchy and women have gained all this power in so many areas, they are still being held hostage by the male gaze. And in doing so, they are being abused. And they have no boundaries. They are adhering to the male sexual script.
Script, yes.
So women need to take back their power in that area as well by turning up on their boundaries, getting some values, bring back some morals, and start to have a little bit more respect for your body, for yourself, for your soul.
Yes.
Saying yes to drugs is not a sign of empowerment. Saying no to drugs is a sign of having a spine. You want to have balls? Have the right kind of balls. Yes. You know, it's no problem. You want to have balls. Have the right kind of balls. Yes.
Saying yes doesn't make you a strong, emancipated, liberated woman. It makes you a sex slave. It's slavery. It makes you an object for the gratification of every passing man. And most of these men are beneath you. They're beneath you. Women are dating down.
It's a myth that women are dating up. That's not true at all. There is this myth among the toxic masculinity communities that women date only men who are superior to them. It's called hypergamy.
Like majority of women are dating only 20% of men because they are attractive and rich. And so there's a lot of carping and complaining going on among these toxic masculinity communities that women refuse to date, men who are beneath them.
The truth is exactly the opposite. Numerous studies have established that women are trading down, not trading up. They are dating anyone. They're so desperate for connection and companionship and they just date anyone.
And there is, of course, an enclave of really narcissistic, grandiose, psychopathic women who date on purpose men who are beneath them so that they have control and they can feel superior.
There's also this. In general, women date, and by the way, sleep with, even in casual sex, better males, not so-called alpha males, to use the terminology of these, not kids. They don't sleep with, they choose better males. Overwhelmingly, they choose better males.
The reason, of course, is better males are more preponderant. There's more of them. And women at some point are so jaded by dating, so disappointed, so broken that they have only two choices, celibacy or to sleep with anyone. And so 20% sleep with anyone. These are known as socio-sexually unrestricted females, women. Women who are social sexually unrestricted, there's about 20% of women, they simply sleep with anyone. They're indiscriminate completely.
And many of them are driven by the need for companionship. They feel alone, feel lonely. Women feel lonely more than men. That's an established fact. And then 80% choose celibacy.
The rate of celibacy had exploded. The frequency of sex among people under age 35 is the lowest ever. Not the highest ever. The lowest ever. They have much less sex than the baby boomers.
Good for me. They have much less sex than Gen X. Sex is going down in several countries, Japan, big parts of the United Kingdom, and so on. Scandinavia, shockingly. Sex is extinct. No one does sex anymore.
Pornography is on the rise, of course, as compensation. But that's it. There's no sex. Sex is not just sex. Sex, exactly as Sigmund Freud said, sex is a force of life. It's a connection. It's a bridge to the next generation. It's the ultimate form of intimacy. It's bringing someone into your body. It's merger and fusion. It's an amazing experience, if done properly, with the right person.
To have given up on it is to have given up on life.
When we have a country like Japan with a majority of people under age 35 are virgins, that doesn't bode well. When we have a country like the United Kingdom where sex doesn't feature among the first five favorite pastimes of people, of teenagers, they list video games, you know, million things, social media, but not sex.
So these are bad harbingers. These are really seriously bad signs.
I personally, and I used to be a climate change activist, I'm still a member of one of the biggest climate change NGOs in the world, think tanks in the world. I know a bit about climate change, I've written about climate change extensively, and I tell you the crisis between the genders is a far, and I mean far, bigger threat than climate change.
Far bigger threat. We will go extinct long before climate change has any serious impact on our daily life, just by virtue of the fact that starting in 2016, a majority of women and men did not have a single encounter with the opposite sex. That's 2016.
Since then, majority of men and women did not have a single encounter of any kind with a member of the opposite sex.
Now there's a crisis for you. Climate change is going to take 100 years, or 50 if you're pessimistic. This is a present, clear and present danger, present, emphasis on present.
So women have the power to change this. Yes. And they have to tighten up their boundaries and get clear on their value.
Women have been cursed. They've been cursed by biology. They're being cursed monthly, and then they are cursed by biology too. They've been designated as the carriers of the next generation. They make huge sacrifices in pregnancy and childbirth. They risk their lives to bring forth new life.
So women have been cursed. No question about it. They've been dealt the bad cards in the game of life.
And one of the main functions of women has always been the gatekeepers. They've always been the gatekeepers. Not only the gatekeepers of sexuality, but the gatekeepers of morality and so on. Women are the main socialization agents. In other words, women represent the values of society to their children and imbue their children with these values.
This is a process known as socialization. Women are also the main acculturation agents. In other words, they're the ones who introduce their children to culture, various aspects of culture.
So women are super critical. And it's precisely the reason why for every hundred articles about maternal functioning, we have one article about paternal function. Because fathers, between you and me and Karen, fathers are not very important.
Well, at least not at the beginning. They're seriously not important. You can raise a perfectly balanced, healthy child without any father. They're not important. They're sperm donors, essentially. And even that function is being replaced pretty speedily.
So mothers count, women count.
The only hope for transformation of any kind in today's world is it lies with women.
And it is a responsibility which women are abrogating and very angry at women. Very angry at young women. It's a responsibility they're abrogating. It's selfishness. It's a form of selfishness. It's narcissism, in effect.
We're never becoming more narcissistic. In 2000, when the fourth edition, the text revision of the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual was published, 76% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. So there were men today. It's 49%.
This year, for the first time, the majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder would be women. Women are becoming selfish, narcissistic and so on. And they are abrogating their responsibilities.
And as a human being, also as a man, listen, I've been born in a different age. I've been born when the world was still intact, more or less. Women were mistreated badly in this world. And we all worked, by the way, men and women. At that time, we worked to remedy the situation.
But I remember the world as it used to be. It wasn't utopia. It's as dystopian as today. But at least we work together. We work together in a variety of worlds, in communities, in neighborhoods, in families, nation states, in between genders, among genders. I mean, we collaborate. There was a model. Today, it's totally automat. No one works with anyone about anything, regarding anything. It's totally broken. It's the whole world.
And I mourn, I mourn the loss of magic and charm between men and women. Men and women should be 1000% equal. It's untenable and unacceptable that a woman should have any disadvantage in any field of life.
Voting, wages, access to healthcare, access to education, and sexual choices, absolutely. Total equality.
But where feminism, late feminism, mainly liberal feminism, but not only, where it went astray is in confusing equality with identity. And then confusing identity with substitution.
So like the first they said, men and women need to be equal, then they say, well, men and women need to be identical. And then they said, actually, women can replace men. Men are dispensable.
These are the messages, still are.
And I think, not because I'm a misogynist, but I think big part of the blame, it's not a blame game, but big part of the responsibility goes to goes to women and the academic establishment that has supported.
Now, men are women are children. Men are much more children than women. Women mature much earlier than men. Puberty today extends much further and starts much later. Puberty adolescence today starts three years later and ends about 10 years later.
One third to one half of people under age 35, one third to one half of people under age 35 live with their parents. It's crazy. Many of them refuse to have a driving license unheard of. This was the act of personal autonomy in the past. Having a driving license and drinking and having sex. These are the three tests of becoming your own person. Younger generations are postponing all three. They live with their parents. They refuse to drive or to drink. Drinking has collapsed. They don't even buy condoms. Condom consumption is down four to five percent annually for several years now. They don't have sex. They refuse to live. They've given up on life.
And you could say, well, men and women have equal responsibility for this.
But no, women are the adults in the room. Women are the adults. It's like you have parents and children who say, well, they are both human beings. So they both have equal responsibility.
Not true. The parent has much more responsibility than the child. Women have much more responsibility than men because we know for a fact that the maturation of men takes much longer and in many cases is never completed. While women are much faster and so on and so forth.
So women are equipped and then making bad use of this equipment.
Okay.
So I guess women have to be in charge of the men's Peter Pan syndrome. Just because men never grow up, women have to be responsible for that?
No, but women should refuse to enable men. And today women enable men.
Think of men as pathological. Think of men as people with problems, developmental problems, you know, intellectual problems. And what women are doing, they're enabling these men, they're enabling men by acceding to male scripts and male mores and male expectations. They're telling men, they're legitimizing them. They're telling men, you're right. I should be a slut. I should be a sexual object. Here I'm dating you. I'm accepting your terms and conditions because I find them reasonable. Actually, I find them empowering.
Which is, of course, self-deception. Women don't feel empowered in casual sex. Women feel like shit after casual sex. It's documented in numerous studies, but they tell themselves they self-deceive. They say because it's a cognitive dissonance. It's how to reconcile.
So they lie to themselves. They say, we feel empowered. I wanted to have the sex. I chose it. I'm using sex as an example, but it's not only sex. It's not only sex.
For example, women in the workplace make numerous concessions to male dysfunctional behaviors. Males don't do it with females, but females do it with males.
We have studies of female chief executive officers. They accommodate the men. They make concessions. They modify behavior. They become much more empathic and understanding. They smooth corners. They avoid conflict. They conflict the verse.
I think it's time for women to wake up, become truthful, boundary, insist on their values, and if necessary, deny sex for a while.
To all men, you've done it for millennia. You've been denying sex when you wanted to accomplish economic goals and so on. You've been using sex as a manipulative tool.
Not nice to say, but it's a fact. Do it again for a good cause this time.
This is sex, but not only sex.
Insist on the true equality, which is truly empowering. No one deserves concessions because they are bullies or because they are immature, because they threaten violence and aggression, or because they love conflict, they are adversarial, or because they have muscles.
No one deserves concessions. We don't live in an age where any of these things can be translated legally and legitimately to action because if these things are translated to action, it's criminal.
In other words, don't give in to criminal behavior. Don't give in to antisocial behavior.
What is happening today in the casual sex scene in the dating arena is bordering on criminal, and in many casesis criminal.
Women reported all cases of sexual assault and interpreted properly some of these encounters. Half of the male population would be in jail, in prison. It's really bad out there.
Yeah, like Prince Andrew might be, down the road.
Yes, but many women lie to themselves on this as well.
They saywell. They say, well, I provoked him, I teased him, I led him on, I should have known better, I should not have gotten drunk, I shouldn't have dressed this way. Or it wasn't really that bad. Or, okay, at least he was pleased. I wasn't pleased, but he was pleased. We didn't do this all the time.
You had been conditioned by millennial abuse and subservience to be mentally submissive. You may be, as women, outwardly liberated and emancipated, you have access to money and power and jobs and so on.
But changing the mentality of the weak, because you've been the weak, changing the mentality of the weak, becoming less passive aggressive, less self deceiving, less justified, less people pleasing, less people pleasing. This will take centuries. This part will take centuries.
And also, Sam, wouldn't you say, I think in your studies, it shows that the alcohol consumption has gone up extensively for women.
Women need to stop getting drunk and having sex. Don't get drunk and then see if you want to have sex.
Well, they get drunk, they get drunk because they can't face reality. That's why they get drunk. They want not to be there.
Yeah. Why would you be somewhere you don't want to be? Totally crazy.
Okay, I think we are about to. All right.
Yeah, we're going to stop there.
That's it for Pop the Red Pill.
Karen and I would like to thank our amazing guest, Dr. Sam Backman, for sharing such current and accurate information. Thank you, Sam.
Thank you both for having me. And you've been wonderful. Take care. Thank you. Bye. Thanks, Sam.