Background

Women, WAKE UP! Feminism Stole Your Personal Lives!

Uploaded 12/4/2021, approx. 19 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, as well as a professor of psychology, and appearances notwithstanding, I am a man.

And so I would like to offer a few observations about women.

My observations are 100% based on studies and science. And so they would tend to clash head on with a lot of bias, prejudice and unmitigated online nonsense. Isn't it usual on this channel? It is.

So let us plunge writing.


Today, to be a sexually boundaried, a sexually principled woman, nowadays it's considered a shameful pathology. If you don't put out immediately on a first date or after a few minutes on Tinder, something's wrong with you. You're a prude, you're a virgin.

Now don't get it wrong. Casual sex is not the invention of this generation. Casual sex came into being when I was born, in the early 1960s. And it has been with us since.

But in the past, until about 20 years ago, casual sex was optional. It was a choice.

Today, it is the norm. It is not an option. If you don't do casual sex, something is seriously wrong with you. You don't know how to have fun. You're not getting the maximum out of life.

So casual sex is the go-to thing. And relationships are, somewhere, priority number nine.

Women have always been the guardians of the status quo. Women had internalized male values, male expectations and male stereotypes.

And having appropriated these, they became the ferocious guard dogs. They became, women became the enforcers of societal discipline and the main agents of socialization.

So men set the tone, men established the rules, men had created the expectations, the male gaze defined everything, females included, and then women stepped forward and became the most zealous members of the male cult.

Now that has been the case throughout history.

Females, for example, are the most ardent pro-life activists, anti-abortion activists. Women in Muslim countries are much more extreme than men in their perception of female transgressions and in the punishments that they ask and demand to meet out to their sisters.

And so there is this tradition of mobilizing women to defend male interests and the male structure of society, male-dominated structure of society, non-colloquially, as patriarchy.

And ironically, feminism fed into this traditional role. Feminism had rendered women less empowered, less emancipated, more heartbroken and disillusioned than ever in their personal lives.

You could easily say that feminism had utterly ruined the chances of the modern woman to have a personal life to start with, what with career and studies and so on, nothing much is left.

Women sought for well over 150 years, maybe 200 years, women sought equity and equality with men.

They started by demanding the vote, equal wages, equal access to education and healthcare, equal employment opportunities, equal promotion policies in the workplace.

And women had attained equity and equality in many fields and actually supremacy and superiority in many others.

It's not to say that this battle is over. Women are still discriminated against. There's no wage equality. And women are harassed and assaulted sexually in many workplaces.

So this war is still ongoing and it's a meritorious war. It's a war that men should support. It's a war that men should wage on behalf of women together with women.

But instead of doing this, men have reacted largely by abandoning our mass. All women, men have just walked away resentful, bitter, angry, enraged, entitled. They threw a spoiled brat collective temper tantrum and they just walked away.

Sometimes they did it even institutionally, like the MGTOW movement, men going their own way. The whole manosphere is based on this, on disengagement between the genders.

Men didn't take well to the ascendance of women. Men don't regard favorably women who compete with them and outdo them in many fields.

And so men had abrogated any commitment and any investment in women, for women and with women.

Both parties, men and women, gave up on intimacy and gave up on the prospect of a relationship.

Today, majority of men and women are actually either officially single or actually single.

With men all but gone away, all but vanished, women were forced into the role of men, into the erstwhile rows of men, like, for example, providers and breadwinners.

Women are attempting to fulfill the void left behind.

When men had walked away, women are attempting to become the new men.

And this is what we call in sociology, the stold revolution.

S-T-A-L-L-E-D, the stold revolution. Women are becoming much more masculine. They are coerced into classical and traditional masculine roles because there's no one there.

Men just aren't there.


But something strange, psychologically speaking, something strange has happened to women in this inexorable process of becoming the new men.

They became converted. They had transformed the inevitable into an ideology.

They are now zealous, caricatured men, women. Women are now acting out male stereotypes. They are implementing male sexual scripts and gender roles as the pillars of their newly defined femininity.

I'm going to repeat this because this is mind-boggling and mind-warping.

Women were forced to become men because men had absconded, men had walked away.

So women were forced to begin to fulfill the male chores, take on male responsibilities and male roles.

Having been forced into this position, they had transformed it into an ideology. It's cognitive dissonance, of course.

And so they had transformed the cognitive dissonance into an ideology.

They said, actually, we want it. It's not that we are forced into it, it's that we want it.

And so they became newly converted, new converts, zealous and caricatured men. And they are acting out male stereotypes, male sexual scripts and gender roles.

And these male artifacts are the pillars of their newly defined femininity.

One such stereotype is the self-objectifying slut in a tank top makeup and high heels.

If you talk to any young woman, she would tell you that the way she dresses is an integral part of her femininity. She has a right to express herself through the way she dresses. Her clothing is not just clothing, it's a statement about her essence and quiddity as a female.

And yet women don't dress the way they do because they are expressing their femininity.

Women dress the way they do to attract the male gaze and male attention.

So women dress in total conformance and adherence to male dress code for women, to male stereotypes on how a sexual woman should look like and dress.

Women totally comply with male expectations on how to be dressed, how to behave, how much makeup to put, what type of makeup to put, how high the heels and how short the dress and how tanked or cropped the top.

It's a sad twist to be an emancipated empowered modern woman.

Today, to give men what they had always dreamt of, to fulfill men's deepest fantasy and desire.

And the greatest fantasy of every man ever alive and many men dead, the greatest fantasy is and was no strings attached sex with an unboundaried partner. I repeat, sex, no strings attached, no emotions, no commitment, no investment, no involvement with a woman who is a slut in bed, an unboundaried partner, a whore, a whore and a whore.

And men are getting this, men are getting precisely this for women nowadays. Women are there to fulfill men's most hidden wishes and fantasies.

Is this emancipation? Is this liberation? Is this empowerment? Or is this a much more profound phase of enslavement than women had ever experienced in human history?

Vociferous protestations aside, studies conclusively show that women had also assimilated the male double standard.

If you talk to modern women, they will tell you, the sex I'm having, I want to have it. It's my choice. And I don't care what people or men say about me. And I don't care what anyone says. I'm going to continue to behave the way that gratifies me and satisfies.

There's of course utter nonsense. It's a desperate and flimsy attempt to resolve deep set cognitive dissonances, deep set conflicts.

Because the truth is, women judge other women as sluts. Women slut shame other women much more than men do.

Women had internalized the male double standard. They are conflicted about their conduct or misconduct. Women secretly crave more in most instances of casual sex.

And yet they are not getting it. And they're not getting it. And they're not demanding it.

Because to demand more is to lose the male partner. And so they're there in casual sex, passed from one man to another, randomly, total strangers, and they pretend that they like it, that they are agentic, that it is their choice. That's the way they wanted, wanted, and always did want it. They're liberated. They're emancipated.

But then when we conduct studies with these very women, structured interviews, journal entries, longitudinal studies, when we talk to these women over time, we discover that deep inside, they're ashamed. They feel guilty and depressed about what they're doing to themselves. They feel they're not getting a fair shake. They're not realizing either their potential or their goals. They're not getting anywhere with all these casual sex.

To resolve the cognitive dissonance that this lamentable state of affairs had created, many young women pretend to be agentic and carefree. And when I say young women, I'm misleading you. It's increasingly more prevalent among other women.

So it spread. This malignancy had spread to all women of all ages because many women today are divorced. They're forced into a state of singlehood late in life. And many women are refugees from abusive relationships. And they are not young anymore or not as young anymore.

So women of all ages, women of all ages to resolve these cognitive dissonance, they pretend to be agentic, carefree. They pretend to make choices. They are in control, they will tell you. And in reality, they're actually drunk most of the time. In well over 90 percent, between 80 and 90 percent, depending on the study, of casual sex instances, the woman is drunk to the point of blackout. In 20 percent of cases, she is in blackout. These women are devastated in most of these encounters. Something like 43 percent of women immediately regret, casual sex. The other 57 percent claim to like it.

But then when we drill deeper, they tell you the sex is horrible. And indeed, anywhere between 10 and 20 percent of women orgasm, the others don't.

We have studied by Ornstein, Wade, Cohen, Armstrong, many, many others. There are hundreds of studies. You can't fly in the face of these studies. You can't deny them. The evidence is absolutely crushing and overwhelming in well over 20 countries on five continents.

The situation is identical everywhere.

Women with their feminism had pushed themselves into a corner and they don't know how to get themselves out of that corner, except by pretending that the corner had been a choice or a strategy all along.

You know, it's not a bug. It's a feature. It's not a defeat. It was planned in advance. It's a tactical retreat.

But actually, feminism had defeated women. They feel defeated. The rates of depression and anxiety and suicide among women had quantupled and tripled over the last 15 years.

And men, what do men do in the face of all this? They are jubilant. They're celebrating. Heaven had descended on Earth.

Men take advantage of this self-inflicted female injury. Men had become aggressive about demanding immediate sex and they offer nothing in return.

And women end up with the worst of both worlds. Women are being held responsible the way men used to be, responsible for a career, for home, for children and so on, the way men used to be.

But at the same time, they are suffering from slut-shaming, the double standard and harassment as women always had.

Feminism failed to get rid of obnoxious male behaviors. If anything, it had exacerbated them.

There's a marked increase in sexual assault. Well over one-quarter of first days end in rape.

There is also a strong deterioration in the quality of sex, even in one-night stands.

Enel has taken over. Enel has taken over from vaginal. And most women will tell you that Enel is not exactly what men think it is.

Women don't like Enel, the majority of them.

So it's a man's world and men are imposing the sexual education that they had acquired from pornography on women.

And women are forced to become porn stars, including forced to create self-pornography, which is then posted online or used to blackmail them.

Men manipulate women. Men manipulate women. They falsely, publicly support this transformation.

They say, good for you women, you're empowered, you're liberated, you're emancipated. That's the way you should be.

But privately, men still shame these women, call them sluts, hoes, mock them, pass their names and details.

Whenever you go to a new city, if you know where to look, you'll get a list of women available as easy lays and the local sluts.

Men manipulate women. They egg on women. They push them to implement this ideology because it's good for men.

This ideology is a disaster, unmitigated disaster for women.

I see no plus, no plus in the existence of the modern woman.

None, only minuses. I'm talking about the private life, the personal life, not the professional life.

The private life is demolished and eradicated beyond reconstruction in my view.

And Western men are the worst because they egregiously lie and pretend to be tolerant of female unbridled sexuality.

Whatever it takes, baby, I'm with you. It's your choice. You're empowered, you're agentic.

They keep telling women what they want to hear, these Western men.

They don't dare to stand up to women and say, what are you doing with your body, with your boundaries, with your self-respect, with your dignity, with your goals, with your life aspirations? What is your strategy and vision? Why are you going with all this?

No man is saying this because it is the men's interest to perpetuate this condition where women offer free sex and ask for nothing in return, not even a second date.

And so Western men especially perpetuate this dysfunctional and self-defeating female behaviors.

And it's a toxic macabre dance.

And if you dare to tell any woman this, she will call you a misogynist and a woman hater.

Name-calling is the scoundrel's last resort.

When you don't have good counter-arguments, you name-call, you go adrominum.

You attack the messenger and not the message because there's nothing to say against science and against hundreds of studies.

What can a woman say, a modern woman? How can a modern woman refute a single sentence I've just said?

Every word I've just said is backed by dozens of studies. I refer you to my video on hookups where I made a literature review with 91 studies.

So every sentence I said is backed by science.

What do women have to say to counter anything I said?

Nothing, except call me a misogynist and a woman hater, when actually I'm more of a woman lover than any fake Western man who is tolerant and progressive and liberal. And I'm more of a woman lover, definitely, than any feminist.

The double standard is deplorable. It's an abomination.

Double standard means that men, the sexual behavior of men, is judged differently to the sexual behavior of women. And the sexual behavior of men has different social costs, or not social costs, or even social rewards.

Whereas an identical behavior by a female, by a woman, would be penalized.

Somehow, with social opprobrium, up to losing your job.

So this is the double standard. If a man has sex with multiple women, he's a stud. He is a player. If a woman does the same, she's a slut, she's a ho.

It's double standard, and it's horrible, because men and women, men and women, were created equal. Not identical, thank God. They are not identical.

It is the difference that creates attraction, and it is attraction that creates life and perpetuates it.

So men and women should never be identical, and that's women's mistake. They are trying to be identical to men. But they are equal, and the double standard impinges on that equality.

But it is a fact. To ignore the fact of the double standard is delusional, self-deceiving, and costly in terms of relationship prospects and reputation.

The way to overcome the double standard is not to outman men, but to teach men to be more considerate, compassionate and respectful.

Women fail to appreciate the reputational hollow effect.

The notoriety of a woman carries out into other ostensibly unrelated areas of her life. Blocking social norms and mores, even if they are deplorable, like the double standard, it carries a lifelong. It's a lifelong, all-pervasive sentence.

So a woman says, when I'm single, I have no sexual boundaries whatsoever. When I'm single, I'm highly promiscuous.

But when I'm in a relationship, I can be trusted to be self-respecting, decent and boundaried. No man is going to buy this.

Once a woman had made the choice to be self-trashing, self-objectifying and boundaried in sex, that's the end. She acquires a reputation, and she is no longer relationship material. She is a commodity to be passed around, sometimes by multiple men in group sex settings.

It's much less rare than you would believe.

Go online and read Rothman's work on trains. It's a new name for multiple men having sex with the same woman, one after the other, not together.

There's this, there's gang banks, there's group sex, and it's a growing phenomenon, even in high school. But they are targeted at specific women, the women who had acquired the reputation.

So you can't say this. You can't say, I'm cheating with you on my spouse, but I will never cheat on you. You can't say, in sex, I'm drunk and self-trashing with my colleagues, but I expect my colleagues, the same colleagues, to respect me at work. You can't say this. It's not going to work. It's not going to work.


And now let me get to the counter-argument, the only counter-argument that can be offered by women, any woman who is listening to this video.

She can have only one counter-argument.

Why?

Because everything I said is backed by decades of scholarly literature, with hundreds of thousands of interviews and people who participated in these studies over five continents.

There's no escaping anything I've said. It's all 100%, 1,000% true.

You can't argue with science. You can't argue with facts. You can't argue with the preponderance of studies, meta-analyzed properly.

Studies which were well-crafted, well-conducted, well-designed. You can't do that.

It's the end of the road. It's the final station. The train must stop here. The buck must stop here.

So when women face this, they have a trump card. It's exactly like black people. When you argue with them about some things, they have a trump card.

You're a racist. The same with women. You argue with them about some things based 100% on science and studies, and they have a trump card. You're a misogynist. You're a woman-hater.

No speech act founded on science is hate speech. None.

Wherever the data may lead, we are obligated to follow.

If a preponderance of well-crafted studies or meta-analysis of such studies point to the conclusion, to a conclusion, and that conclusion is politically incorrect, one has the moral obligation to adhere to the facts, regardless of the prevailing censorship, regardless of a threat, the dictatorial totalitarian threat of cancel culture, regardless of mob rule through social media, or the occlocracy of social media.

If I look at the data, and the studies are well-designed and convince me, and there are hundreds of them, and they're over decades, and they're everywhere, and they're also identical results.

I don't care if these results are politically correct. I couldn't give a damn. I couldn't care less.

I follow that my God and my religion are data. My God and my religion is the scientific method.

My sacred literature of these studies, their facts, you cannot argue with them, however unpalatable they are, however much they undermine your self-justifying resolutions of your cognitive dissonance.

Women behave in ways which create in them enormous dissonance and conflict, and to resolve this, they're lying to themselves and to others, and men are happy to collaborate with these lies, to perpetuate them, to enhance them and amplify them, because it works in favor of men, and it works against women.

Feminism is the greatest disaster that had happened to women, ever, absolutely ever.

And this is supported by science, not by propaganda and indoctrination, and other nonsense, academic nonsense, academic political nonsense. They are facts, and they are non-facts. These are the only two entities in science.

So, they are facts.

Casual sex has severe long-term deleterious mental health effects, and they affect women only. Fact.


What to do? It's a fact.

victimhood movements are being infiltrated by covert narcissists and secondary psychopaths. Fact, lately. These are facts.

Dark triad personality is common among people, especially women, who engage in sexual self-trafficking, such as compulsive sexting, group sex, self-ponography, or cheating. These people are narcissistic, psychopathic, and Machiavellian.

Fact, unpleasant facts, because so many women are engaged in these kind of activities, had adopted these kind of behaviors, because these behaviors made them more men than men, more emancipated, more liberated, more empowered, more in control of their destiny, or so they believe.

This is, psychopathic defiance. It's narcissistic grandiosity.

Studies are saying this, not me.

So, we need to look at these studies, and we need to base our decision-making and our entire future on this, on data.

Clear-eyed look at reality. We need to emerge from the cocoon of ideology. We need to demolish political correctness. It's a scourge. It's a malignancy on the body of human progress and enlightenment.

And we need to begin to talk, tackles, as we say in Yiddish, talk business.

And the business is simple. Women had fallen prey to their own contorted thinking and their own confabulated ideologies.

And men are delighted to leverage this increasing self-deception in their favor.

Men are taking advantage of women's confusion and befuddlement and disorientation. And they're egging them on, and they're increasing the miasma in which women are immersed and immersed, because it's good for men.

They're getting everything they want, and they're giving nothing in return.

Women, wake up. Wake up. It's already way too late.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Where Have All the Wo/Men Gone?

Professor Sam Vaknin argues that women have become increasingly narcissistic and psychopathic due to their newfound powers and liberation, leading to a collective pathology. This has resulted in a mass psychopathology that is causing terrifying numbers of suicide rates, depression, and anxiety. Vaknin suggests that we need to acknowledge the truth about casual sex and stop being politically correct to confront the issues bravely and courageously. He believes that we need to rewrite the sexual scripts and restore distinct, clear, and boundaried gender roles to save ourselves from the collapsing gender roles that brought the narcissism pandemic and now the borderline secondary psychopathy pandemic.


Women: Just Say “No”! Self-respect, Boundaries - Men Angry, Immature (Pop Red Pill Podcast)

Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in different transcripts. In the first one, he talks about the power dynamics between men and women, where women have gained the upper hand in recent times. In the second one, he blames the emphasis on career and toxic masculinity for the decline of committed relationships and the rise of loneliness. In the third one, he discusses the crisis between genders and suggests that women have the power to change the situation by tightening up their boundaries and getting clear on their values.


Sex, Love with "The Other": Singlehood, Heterophily, and Exogamy

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of disrupted object relations on the sex drive and the decline in sex as a language of communication. He also talks about the shift in gender roles and the rise of narcissism and psychopathy among women who have been subjected to abuse and complex trauma. Vaknin notes that men have become more effeminate, while women prefer better males who are submissive, kind, empathic, and nice. He predicts that technology will eventually provide people with artificial synthetic sex partners, leading to the end of human relatedness and communication.


Casual Sex Q&A: The Fake Intimacy of Bodies

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of casual sex and infidelity on romantic relationships. He explores the psychological and emotional implications of promiscuity, the changing dynamics of mate selection, and the rise of narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors in women. Vaknin also delves into the complexities of intimacy, gender roles, and the challenges of modern relationships. He concludes by examining the impact of mental illness on individuals' coping strategies and their ultimate relationship with death.


OK, Boomer: Want to Be Young Again?

Professor Sam Vaknin argues that today's youth are facing a dystopian world and have given up on life, intimacy, and relationships. He claims that young people today engage almost exclusively in casual, drunk sex with strangers, lack basic skills for intimacy and relationships, and are incapable of forming long-term attachments. Vaknin blames older generations for creating a world without meaning or a future for the youth, leading them to reject life and reality. He believes that hope lies in much younger generations, and that older generations must carry on until those younger generations are old enough to take the torch and continue the march of humanity.


Warning Young Folks: Silence When We Are All Gone

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his concerns about the younger generation, noting their lack of emotions, meaningful relationships, and intellectual pursuits. He believes that the focus on action over emotion and cognition is leading to a culture of nihilism and disconnection. Vaknin argues that positive emotions should drive actions, as negative emotions lead to destructive outcomes. He concludes that the current state of the younger generation is a mental suicide, and that a shift in focus towards emotions, cognition, and meaningful connections is necessary for a better future.


Promiscuity: Psychology of Self-Soothing with Sex (oh, and Relationships)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the topic of promiscuity, its various causes, and its connection to mental health disorders. He delves into the psychological and behavioral aspects of promiscuity, including its association with narcissism, psychopathy, and dissociation. He also explores the impact of promiscuity on intimate relationships and societal changes. The presentation provides a comprehensive analysis of the complex and multifaceted nature of promiscuity.


Narcissistic Youth Sexlessness: Porn and Relationships in a Dying World

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the decline in sexual activity and satisfaction, particularly among younger generations, attributing it to rising narcissism, inhibitions, distractions, and environmental factors. He notes that casual sex is less satisfying than relationship sex, and that women are avoiding bad sex. The consequences of this decline include a collapse in birth rates and a rise in single adults living without partners. Additionally, pornography is reducing the desire for real-life sex, and dating apps are inefficient.


Back to the Future: Spectacle of Narcissism, Spectre of Psychopathy (Convo with Alex Kazemi)

Sam Vaknin discusses the dangers of social media culture, the shift from narcissism to psychopathy in society, and the current state of gender and sexuality. He argues that the prevalence of screens has led to isolation and atomization, forcing individuals to be self-sufficient and cutting them off from empathy. Vaknin also believes that privacy is a modern invention and that the less private we are, the better off we feel psychologically. He predicts that a totally psychopathic civilization is on the horizon and that elites want to make everyone a slave, not because they are evil, but because it is in their self-interest.


Contemporary Sexuality, Relationships in West - History

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the history of contemporary sexuality, from the 18th century to the present day. He highlights the shift in sexual attitudes and practices, the impact of technology and societal changes, and the current trend of avoiding relationships and embracing celibacy. Vaknin emphasizes the influence of historical periods on modern sexuality and the ongoing struggle to reconcile traditional and modern attitudes towards sex and relationships. He also encourages feedback and discussion on the topic.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2023, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy