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Vaknin Talks

Full transcripts of Sam Vaknin's videos

Long Distance Relationships Of Narcissist, Borderline

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of long-distance relationships for mentally ill individuals, particularly narcissists and borderlines. He explains how the abnormal nature of long-distance relationships exacerbates mental health issues and leads to intense emotional turmoil, including romantic jealousy, fear of loss, and mistrust. Vaknin emphasizes the detrimental effects of long-distance relationships on narcissists and borderlines, and advises against engaging in such relationships, especially for those with mental health disorders.


How to Survive Rejection

The video discusses rejection and the impact of labeling in modern society. It emphasizes that being labeled as toxic is not the same as being difficult or complex. The speaker highlights the importance of not defining oneself based on others' feedback and the need to accept a certain amount of rejection as inevitable. The message is to focus on those who accept and ignore those who reject, as rejection is about the rejector, not the rejected.


Are You Paranoid or Just Hypervigilant?

Professor Vaknin discusses the differences between hyper-vigilance, paranoid ideation, and conspiracism. He explains that hyper-vigilance is a common post-trauma response, while paranoid ideation involves persistent suspiciousness and beliefs of being persecuted. Conspiracism is the tendency to find patterns in facts and interpret them to fit a pattern, often leading to the development of conspiracy theories. These reactions can be triggered by trauma and are not necessarily indicative of mental illness. Vaknin suggests countering these tendencies by focusing on what is likely rather than what is possible and ruling out implausible scenarios.


Transgenderism: Real, Fad, or Hype? (Compilation)

Dr. Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of sex and gender, the fluidity of sexuality and gender roles, and the impact of societal and cultural expectations on gender identity. He also addresses the lack of scientific studies on transgender issues, the phenomenon of detransitioning, and the convergence of both men and women towards toxic masculinity. He emphasizes the influence of capitalism and technology on shaping gender roles and societal behavior.


How Narcissist Dreams You (+Interpreted Dream)

The video is divided into two parts. In the first part, the speaker discusses the narcissist's experience of the shared fantasy as a dream state. In the second part, he analyzes a dream of a narcissist, emphasizing the dream's symbolism and the subject's internal conflict. The dream reflects the subject's struggle with his mental disorder and his journey towards healing and self-discovery.


When Suggestible Patient Pleases Therapist (Conference Presentation)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of suggestibility and mimicry in therapy, particularly in patients with personality disorders. He emphasizes the need for therapists to maintain boundaries and avoid colluding with patients in forming shared fantasies. The text also delves into the concepts of transference and countertransference, and the potential for corruption and compromise in therapeutic relationships. Vaknin stresses the importance of humility and the therapist's role as a service provider rather than a figure of authority.


How One Becomes a Narcissist - and How to Fight It! (Compilation)

Sam Vaknin presents a stark and pessimistic view of human existence, emphasizing the futility of striving for change or improvement. He suggests that individuals are inherently insignificant and that life is inherently meaningless, advocating for a state of nothingness as a form of liberation from societal pressures and the illusions of grandiosity. Vaknin criticizes those who offer solutions or systems for betterment as con artists, and he encourages people to embrace their own nothingness and live life without expectations or the pursuit of external validation.


Signs You are Being Idealized or Devalued

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist's internal processes of idealization, devaluation, and discard in relationships. He explains how the narcissist interacts with a snapshot of the partner in his mind, and how the partner is idealized, devalued, and eventually discarded. The narcissist's need to separate from the partner is explored, along with the reversal of the idealization, devaluation, and discard sequence in the narcissist's mind versus reality.


Dealbreaker: No Male “Friends” for Wife, Girlfriend

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of male-female friendships and the miscommunication and misinterpretation of sexual interest between the genders. He argues that men are more likely to misinterpret friendliness as sexual interest, while women tend to misinterpret sexual signaling as friendliness. Vaknin also suggests that men are generally more sexually attracted to their female friends than vice versa, and that the belief in purely platonic friendships can lead to negative outcomes such as sexual harassment and assault. He emphasizes the need for clear communication and understanding between men and women in these relationships.


Good Mother Pushes Child Away and Other Answers Questioned

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the death drive and the impact of a mother's choices on a child's life. He also addresses questions about narcissists, their capability of love, laziness, intrusive thoughts, and the potential for narcissism in charitable behavior. He emphasizes the narcissistic tendencies and control issues in individuals who give as a substitute for love.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2023, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
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