Vaknin Talks

Narcissists Caricature Their Role Models

Narcissists idealize various figures in their lives, including potential partners, sources of supply, flying monkeys, and role models, as part of their shared fantasy. This idealization serves to enhance the narcissist's self-image, as they absorb the perceived perfection of others to feel superior. However, this phase of idealization is temporary and is typically followed by devaluation and discard. The relationship with role models is particularly complex, as narcissists often create distorted caricatures of these figures, believing they can surpass them while channeling their envy into a superficial imitation.

Posted on 12/9/2024, 9 minute read

Ever Wonder About Narcissism, Abuse? (with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open)

Narcissism is often misused in popular culture, leading to misunderstandings about its clinical definition, which should be reserved for those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. The rise of narcissistic traits in society is linked to cultural values that prioritize individualism and fame, with narcissists often gravitating towards performance professions due to their need for validation. While narcissism is not curable, certain behaviors can be modified through the right environment and relationships, highlighting the complexity of the condition. The ongoing conflict in Israel and Palestine reflects deep-rooted historical tensions, with the potential for future violence as both sides struggle for land and identity, suggesting that a resolution may remain elusive. Ultimately, the dynamics of narcissism and societal behavior reveal a troubling interplay between personal identity, cultural narratives, and the quest for power and recognition.

Posted on 12/7/2024, 1 hour 52 minute read

Enablers not Rescuers not Flying Monkeys (+Dark Personalities)

Enablers assist individuals in perpetuating self-destructive behaviors, while flying monkeys carry out the agenda of narcissists or psychopaths, often harming others in the process. Rescuers or saviors believe they can transform or heal others, creating a narrative of helplessness that justifies their intervention. Dark triad personalities exhibit narcissistic and psychopathic traits but are considered subclinical, meaning they do not meet the criteria for formal diagnosis. The dark tetrad includes sadism, which is a clinical personality disorder, alongside the subclinical traits of narcissism and psychopathy.

Posted on 12/6/2024, 6 minute read

Narcissist: Identity Thief, Carnivorous Plant

The narcissist operates like a carnivorous plant, drawing others into a shared fantasy that leads to identity theft and a blurring of personal boundaries. This symbiotic relationship allows the narcissist to absorb the essence, accomplishments, and social connections of their victim, effectively causing the victim to vanish. When the victim leaves or is discarded, the narcissist reverts to their empty state, ready to consume another identity. Ultimately, the narcissist lacks a true self, relying on the identities of others to fill their void, resembling a perpetual actor who can only exist through the roles they adopt.

Posted on 12/5/2024, 4 minute read

Self-destructiveness Not Masochism

Self-destructiveness and masochism are fundamentally different phenomena, with self-destructiveness being egodystonic and characterized by a rejection of life, while masochism is egosyntonic and involves a pursuit of gratification through pain. Masochism is episodic and self-limiting, allowing individuals to engage in painful experiences without it defining their entire existence, whereas self-destructiveness is systemic and pervasive, often becoming a way of life that drags others down with the individual. The self-destructive person often uses others to facilitate their own annihilation, creating a collective experience of pain, while masochism is primarily an inward-focused act that does not necessarily harm others. Ultimately, masochism and sadism are expressions of life and enjoyment, whereas self-destructiveness is a destructive force aimed at diminishing one's own existence and that of those around them.

Posted on 12/4/2024, 8 minute read

You Could Be a Flying Monkey, too!

Anyone can unwittingly become a narcissist's flying monkey, serving as an extension of the narcissist's influence without realizing it. Narcissists manipulate those around them through their convincing narratives, drawing people into a shared fantasy where they become defenders of the narcissist. This dynamic can lead individuals to support harmful behaviors and even adopt narcissistic traits themselves. It is crucial to remain self-aware and question whether one's actions and alliances may be contributing to the perpetuation of narcissism.

Posted on 12/3/2024, 3 minute read

Love-blind Narcissist Haunted, Self-pitying (TEXT in Description)

Narcissists are unable to appreciate the love and loyalty of those around them, ultimately leading to their isolation and disintegration. As they confront the ghosts of their past and the failures of their lives, they experience a profound sense of nostalgia and self-pity rather than genuine remorse. Their superficial charm fades, leaving them transparent and rejected, as they grapple with the consequences of their actions. In the end, they face a haunting realization of missed opportunities and a legacy of pain, culminating in a desire to fade away.

Posted on 12/2/2024, 4 minute read

Hope for Suicide Prevention: Suicide Crisis Syndrome (SCS): Narrative-Crisis Model

Suicide is often preceded by a complex interplay of emotional states and cognitive distortions, rather than a straightforward progression from suicidal ideation to action. The proposed Suicide Crisis Syndrome (SCS) aims to provide a new diagnostic framework that recognizes suicide as a distinct mental health condition, separate from other disorders, and emphasizes the importance of understanding the narrative crisis model. Research indicates that many individuals who attempt suicide do not exhibit clear suicidal thoughts prior to their actions, challenging traditional beliefs about the relationship between ideation and behavior. The SCS framework offers a more nuanced approach to assessing and treating individuals at risk, focusing on observable symptoms and emotional states rather than relying solely on self-reported intentions.

Posted on 12/1/2024, 20 minute read

Is Your Self Truly Yours? Me, I: Social Control, Authenticity (South East European University, SEEU)

The lecture discusses the interplay between self-concept, identity, and societal influences, emphasizing that the self is not a static entity but rather a fluid construct shaped by interactions with others. It highlights the contributions of various theorists, including William James and George Herbert Mead, who argue that our sense of self emerges through social interactions and the roles we play in society. The distinction between the "I" (the active self) and the "me" (the social self) is explored, illustrating how societal expectations can suppress authentic expression and lead to internal conflict. The lecture concludes with a preview of upcoming discussions on the theory of self-states, suggesting that individuals may experience multiple identities rather than a singular self.

Posted on 11/30/2024, 1 hour 18 minute read

Flying Monkey Psychology in Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy

The flying monkey is a participant in the narcissist's attenuated shared fantasy, which lacks depth and future vision but caters to the flying monkey's sense of grandiosity. This dynamic creates a morality play where the narcissist positions themselves as a victim and the flying monkey as a savior, directing their aggression towards a targeted individual. The flying monkey becomes an extension of the narcissist, experiencing a sense of uniqueness and importance while being gaslighted into an alternative reality. Ultimately, this relationship reinforces both the narcissist's power and the flying monkey's own narcissistic tendencies.

Posted on 11/29/2024, 5 minute read

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