Vaknin Talks

Apocalypting Narcissist, Borderline: Drama, Crisis, Catastrophizing

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of catastrophizing and apocalyptic behavior in narcissists and individuals with borderline personality disorder. He explains that both engage in exaggerating outcomes and introducing crises into their lives, despite having different cognitive and emotional styles. He delves into the psychological roles of apocalyptic behavior, such as control and manipulation, organizing and explanatory principles, and seeking thrill and risk. Vaknin also explores how individuals with narcissistic and borderline traits use drama and crisis as a means of creative destruction to reinvent their lives. Additionally, he touches on the societal implications of apocalyptic behavior, particularly in the context of mass movements and the revolt of the masses.

Posted on 2/29/2024, 12 minute read

Borderline’s Good Object, Bad Behaviors

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a "good object" as a constellation of voices that inform an individual of their worth and value. He explains how individuals with borderline personality disorder possess a compensatory good object, which serves to reconcile their self-perception with their behaviors. Vaknin also delves into the role of compensation in analytical psychology, emphasizing its positive function in shaping the self. Additionally, he explores the use of compensatory structures in the formation and functioning of the self, as described by Heinz Kohut. Ultimately, Vaknin highlights how both borderline individuals and narcissists utilize compensation to maintain their sense of self.

Posted on 2/28/2024, 25 minute read

What Happiness is NOT and IS (with Andrei Tanase, Filmmaker)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the etymology of the word "happiness" and its historical meanings. He explains that happiness was originally associated with luck, prosperity, and wealth. He outlines the three components of happiness, which include managing one's life well, contributing to something outside oneself, and conducting oneself with dignity and integrity. Vaknin emphasizes that happiness is a state of being, not gratification, and that it is internal, not external. He also delves into the concept of authenticity and the importance of being true to oneself. Additionally, he explores the idea of studying unhappiness as a means of understanding happiness, and the role of language in shaping our understanding of happiness.

Posted on 2/27/2024, 35 minute read

Why Narcissists are Successful: Cat- vs. Grin Narcopaths (Narcissism Cheshire Effect)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the success of narcissists and psychopaths in society, attributing it to their ability to thrive in a world that values fantasy and manipulation of symbols in fantastic spaces. He explains the distinction between "cat" narcissists and "green" narcissists, with the latter being more focused on internal feelings and fantasy. Vaknin argues that modern civilization is constructed on the manipulation of symbols and fantastic spaces, providing an advantage to narcissists and psychopaths. He also predicts a future dominated by narcissism and psychopathy, with individuals needing to adapt to this reality to succeed.

Posted on 2/26/2024, 17 minute read

Mama's Boy or Daddy's Girl? (Compilation)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how various types of dysfunctional fathers can impact the development and expression of pathological narcissism in their children. He explains that while the formation of pathological narcissism occurs in the first 36 months of life and is primarily influenced by the mother or maternal figure, the father's role becomes significant later on, shaping how the child's narcissism manifests. Vaknin categorizes fathers who exacerbate narcissism in their children into several types, including the dead father, the shameful father, the intermittent father, the antisocial entitled father, the fantasy-prone father, the harsh and critical father, the unjust and sadistic father, the dysregulated father, the incestuous father, the parentifying father, the instrumentalizing father, the pedestalizing father, and the submissive, codependent father. Each type contributes to the child's narcissistic pathology in different ways, often leading to a variety of narcissistic outcomes in adulthood.

Posted on 2/25/2024, 1 hour 59 minute read

Narcissist Devalues, Discards What He Craves Most: Shared Fantasy as Reaction Formation

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the narcissist shared fantasy as a form of reaction formation. He explains that reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which unacceptable impulses are replaced with their exact opposite in consciousness. This mechanism is developed in childhood as a result of conditional love and the need to suppress one's desires and individuality to gain acceptance. Vaknin also explores the connection between reaction formation, socialization, and the fragility of morality, and how it can unravel under stress, leading to acts of cruelty and abuse.

Posted on 2/24/2024, 31 minute read

Toxic Help , Backhanded Compliments: Negging, Passive-aggressive Devaluation

Passive aggression is a pervasive and toxic form of aggression that is difficult to detect and can be very damaging. It is a tool used by weak and envious individuals who are unable to express overt aggression. Backhanded compliments and toxic help are examples of passive-aggressive behavior that involve dishonesty, deception, and an inability to interact honestly with others. These behaviors leverage narcissism and paranoia and can be very destructive, causing disorientation, confusion, and emotional pain. It is important to be wary of such individuals and avoid their toxic influence.

Posted on 2/23/2024, 8 minute read

Narcissism Virus: Genes, Deception, Brain, Mind (Compilation)

Narcissists and psychopaths are facing increasing difficulties in finding victims due to heightened awareness and stigmatization of their behaviors. As victim awareness grows and behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse become criminalized, the pool of potential targets shrinks. This leads to a situation where predators may team up to hunt collectively, as predicted by game theory models like the Hawk-Dove model and the Lotka-Volterra predator-prey model. These models suggest that as the number of predators increases and the number of prey decreases, the predator population will eventually decline. This raises questions about the role of predators like narcissists and psychopaths in society and whether their decline could lead to trophic cascades, which are powerful indirect interactions that can control entire ecosystems. The future impact of increased awareness, stigmatization, and criminalization on the survival and behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths remains an open question.

Posted on 2/22/2024, 3 hour 43 minute read

Hatebombing: Malignant Narcissist’s Inverted Shared Fantasy (Odd Couples Series)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the new updates to his website and Android app, which now contain transcripts for all 1,400 of his YouTube videos. He then delves into a detailed analysis of hate bombing, a phenomenon that exposes dynamics of narcissism often overlooked by experts. He explains the concept of locus of grandiosity and how it relates to the behavior of narcissists, particularly in the context of love bombing and hate bombing. Vaknin also explores the shared fantasy in relationships with narcissists, highlighting the differences between typical narcissists and malignant psychopathic narcissists. He provides insights into the behavior and mindset of these individuals, shedding light on their goal-oriented approach and the power dynamics at play in their relationships.

Posted on 2/21/2024, 39 minute read

Narcissist’s Father: Daddy Issues Typology

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of fathers on the development and manifestation of pathological narcissism in children. He explains that while the mother's role is critical in the early stages of a child's life, the father's influence comes later and can affect how the child's narcissism is expressed in adulthood. Vaknin outlines various types of fathers, such as the dead, shameful, intermittent, entitled, and harsh fathers, and explains how each type can contribute to the exacerbation of a child's narcissism. He emphasizes the importance of the father's role in redirecting and mitigating the child's narcissism and highlights the negative impact of mentally disturbed fathers on their children.

Posted on 2/20/2024, 28 minute read

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