Vaknin Talks

Gaslighting: How to Defend Yourself, Recover (with Jacqui Yates, Circles)

Narcissists create a shared fantasy that distorts reality to secure narcissistic supply, primarily attention, while psychopaths are goal-oriented and manipulate perceptions for personal gain. Gaslighting is a collaborative process where victims begin to doubt their own reality, often leading to self-gaslighting, and it can be countered by developing a circle of trust and documenting experiences. Early intervention in children with conduct disorder can be effective, but societal reluctance to diagnose such conditions often delays necessary treatment. Ultimately, narcissists and psychopaths are unlikely to change, and seeking therapy for them can lead to self-deception and further gaslighting.

Posted on 12/24/2024, 28 minute read

Fearful-avoidant (Disorganized) “Attachment Style": Latest Faddish Nonsense

There has been a rise in nonsensical psychological constructs that lack validation, leading to the creation of terms like "fearful avoidant attachment," which are essentially rebranded versions of existing personality disorders, specifically borderline personality disorder. This trend reflects a broader issue in social sciences where a significant portion of research consists of recycled ideas, contributing to a replication crisis and the medicalization of normal behaviors. The expansion of diagnostic categories in psychology benefits various stakeholders, including practitioners and pharmaceutical companies, while pathologizing common human experiences. Ultimately, this undermines the credibility of the field, reducing it to pseudoscience and obscuring the true nature of mental health issues.

Posted on 12/23/2024, 14 minute read

Secret of Winner Narcissists: Stupidity (with Daria Zukowska, Clinical Psychologist)

The lecture discusses the parallels between stupidity and narcissism, highlighting that both share traits such as grandiosity, entitlement, and a tendency for magical thinking. It emphasizes how societal trends, including the decline of gatekeeping and the rise of victimhood culture, have empowered narcissists and the less intelligent, leading to a culture that rewards superficiality over substance. The speaker argues that narcissists thrive in a fantasy-based society where their delusions go unchallenged, and they often achieve success by manipulating perceptions rather than demonstrating genuine competence. Ultimately, the lecture suggests that the current cultural landscape favors narcissism as a positive adaptation, creating a cycle where the less educated and less intelligent dominate social narratives.

Posted on 12/22/2024, 45 minute read

How "Dead" Mother Creates "Dead" Child (Zagreb Clinicians Seminar, Part 3 of 5)

The lecture discusses the psychological impact of maternal relationships on child development, particularly focusing on the concept of "dead mothers," which refers to mothers who are emotionally unavailable or rejecting. This lack of maternal support hinders the child's ability to develop a healthy theory of mind and internal working models, leading to difficulties in forming relationships and a reliance on fantasy as a coping mechanism. The speaker outlines how children with such backgrounds may develop personality disorders, particularly narcissism and borderline personality disorder, as they struggle with self-identity and emotional regulation. Ultimately, the lecture emphasizes the importance of maternal figures in healthy psychological development and the consequences of their absence.

Posted on 12/21/2024, 44 minute read

Borderline’s Attachment Style: Anxious Preoccupied or Dismissive Avoidant? (Read PINNED COMMENT)

All Cluster B personality disorder patients exhibit a dismissive avoidant attachment style, contrary to the belief that individuals with borderline personality disorder possess an anxious preoccupied attachment style. While those with anxious attachment can maintain long-term, stable relationships, borderlines often engage in short-term, casual relationships and exhibit approach-avoidance behaviors due to their fear of intimacy and engulfment anxiety. Borderlines also display grandiosity and a secretive nature, contrasting with the neediness and people-pleasing tendencies of anxious preoccupied individuals. Ultimately, the behaviors and emotional dynamics of borderlines align more closely with dismissive avoidant attachment than with anxious preoccupied attachment.

Posted on 12/20/2024, 18 minute read

Overwhelmed by Emotions: Affective Dysregulation in Borderlines, Narcissists

Emotional dysregulation, often associated with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, is characterized by a failure of internal regulatory mechanisms, leading to intense emotional responses triggered by both positive and negative affects. There are two main types of emotional dysregulation: anticipatory, which arises from anxiety and catastrophizing about potential negative outcomes, and reactive, which occurs in response to actual events like abandonment or humiliation. This dysregulation is distinct from emotional chaos or instability, as it reflects a lack of regulation rather than an amplification of emotions, and is often exacerbated by impaired emotional cognition and the inability to accurately appraise situations. The interplay between emotional dysregulation and intimacy highlights how close relationships can amplify feelings of threat and vulnerability, further complicating the emotional landscape for individuals with these disorders.

Posted on 12/19/2024, 47 minute read

From Symbiotic Magical Thinking to Separation Trauma (Zagreb Clinicians Seminar, Part 2 of 5)

Trauma is a significant factor in the development of personality disorders, particularly in the context of childhood experiences and attachment styles. Individuals with Cluster B personality disorders exhibit traits such as magical thinking, cold empathy, and insecure attachment styles, which stem from early adverse experiences. The dynamics of these disorders often involve a dissociation from reality, leading to a fragmented sense of self and reliance on external validation. Ultimately, the interplay between maternal influence and the child's perception of self and others shapes the development of these disorders, highlighting the critical role of early relationships in psychological health.

Posted on 12/18/2024, 60 minute read

Cluster B Personality Disorders Revisited (Zagreb Clinicians Seminar, December 2024, Part 1 of 5)

The seminar focuses on the psychodynamics, etiology, phenomenology, and interpersonal relationships of Cluster B personality disorders, emphasizing the internal psychological processes that characterize these disorders. It explores how adverse childhood experiences, particularly bad parenting, contribute to the development of pathological narcissism and other Cluster B disorders, highlighting the emptiness and identity disturbances that define these individuals. The discussion includes the relational nature of these disorders, the confusion between internal and external realities, and the compensatory mechanisms employed by those affected. Ultimately, the seminar aims to provide a deeper understanding of the alien psychological landscape of Cluster B personality disorders and the challenges they present in interpersonal relationships.

Posted on 12/17/2024, 50 minute read

Prosocial Narcissist: Appearances, Not Substance (Aretaic, Not Deontic)

Pro-social or communal narcissists derive their sense of grandiosity from their ostentatious morality and public displays of altruism, often leveraging their ethical behavior to gain admiration and narcissistic supply. They can contribute positively to society, but their motivations are rooted in self-image rather than genuine moral obligation, distinguishing them from those who act out of a true sense of duty. The distinction between Deontic do-gooders, who focus on moral actions, and Eretaiq do-gooders, who prioritize their perceived virtue, highlights that narcissists are primarily concerned with how they are viewed by others. Ultimately, there are two types of narcissists: the celebrity narcissist, who seeks attention through appearances, and the career narcissist, who aims to leave a lasting impact through substantial achievements.

Posted on 12/16/2024, 17 minute read

Why Live? Suicide Revisited (Compilation)

Anxiety is a pervasive emotion in modern society, often stemming from a culture focused on growth and material success, which has led to a sense of hopelessness and disconnection in relationships. This environment has contributed to a rise in narcissism, particularly among the youth, as a coping mechanism to navigate a world perceived as toxic and devoid of meaning. The lecture discusses the complexities of suicide, emphasizing that it is often a symptom of deeper societal issues rather than merely a result of mental illness, and highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of suicidal ideation and behavior. Ultimately, the speaker advocates for a shift in how mental health practitioners approach suicide prevention, emphasizing the importance of recognizing the underlying emotional states and societal factors that contribute to suicidal thoughts and actions.

Posted on 12/15/2024, 2 hour 11 minute read

Older Posts → ← Newer Posts