Two recently released studies prompted me to revisit the topic of gender relations. Or actually, the absence of relations between genders in the postmodern world that we are unlucky enough to inhabit in this dystopia. Genders don't speak to each other. They didn't only drift apart, but they have become hostile, adversarial foes, sometimes deadly enemies. And I'm going to review these two studies. I'm going to dedicate a video each to these two studies. But right now, I'm just going to review them. And then I'm going to read to you sections or reiterate sections from an interview that I granted a few years ago and has since been taken offline. Is not available online. Don't ask. Okay, let's start with the first study. The first study is the authors are Olif, Kelly, Gao and others. It is titled Neo-traditionalist, egalitarian and progressive masculinities in men's heterosexual intimate partner relations. It was published in social science and medicine, volume 333 this year. And here is the abstract. Shifts in gender roles say the authors shifts in identities and relations since the 1980s are continuing to influence masculinities within intimate partner relationships. Forefront in men's contemporary heterosexual relationships have been calls for gender equality and gender equity as a means to promoting the mental health and well-being of
partners and their families. Most previous research has focused on a pathologized role of men in relationships. For example, intimate partner violence. Little is known about how men perceive intimate partner relationships using a strength-based perspective. The current photo voice study addressed the research question, what are the connections between masculinities and men's heterosexual intimate partner relationships? So the authors studied men between the ages of 19 and 43. They asked them about their experiences, their perspectives about intimate partner relationships. The authors continue to say, we abductively derived three masculine typologies. One, the neo-traditionalist male. Two, the egalitarian men. Three, the progressive one. Twenty four percent of participants embodied neo-traditionalist masculinities characterized by reliance on traditional masculine norms that assign domesticities as feminine and prize masculine breadwinner and protector roles. That's 24 percent. Half of the participants purposefully distanced themselves from traditional masculine norms to engage egalitarian masculinities. These men idealized equal contributions and reciprocity, wherein counts were often used to evaluate each partner's relative efforts and contributions to the relationship. It's a kind of accounting approach to relationships. Progressive masculinities were evident in 26 percent of participants who focused on fairness and social justice, checking their own privilege to justify, to justly operate within their relationship and more broadly in society. This is study number one and I will analyze it in depth in a future video. Study number two was published in September by the venerable Pew Center. It's a research institute and think tank. According to this recent study, among heterosexuals, 63 percent of men, two thirds of men and 34 percent of women, one third of women under age 30, self-describe as permanently single. Things are not much different in the LGBTQ+ communities. 62 percent of males and 37 percent of females respectively are self-designated single. One fifth, 20 percent of Generation Z identify as queer. The situation is similar in countries such as China, India, Japan, South Korea and even the United Kingdom and Russia. Only 20 percent of men and 41 percent of women talked to a friend in the previous week according to another study in 2021. So a picture of total isolation from opposite sex, potential partners and from one's own social circle. Pew Center research discovered that 57 percent of singles in all age groups avoid even casual dating, in other words avoid sex. This is an increase of 20 percent since 2019 driven largely by disaffected single men. Men are giving up on women. Even so, men are 50 percent more likely than women to be looking for a committed relationship. Shockingly, women do not want a committed relationship. Men do. Women are into casual sex. More than men actually breaking the stereotype. There are six trends. So this is the Pew Center study and again I'll dedicate a whole video to analyzing it in the future.
Now, back to my work.
An interview I gave a few years ago, no longer available online.
In that interview I suggested that there are six trends that brought us where we are.
A raging war between increasingly more wary, belligerent and hostile men and women.
There is an immocity between the genders, a conflict that sometimes devolves into hatred.
It's really bad out there and it's bad in all age groups, which I think is a first in human history, I suggested.
The growing intergender problem is a kind of virus and so it affects all age groups.
You can find women aged 65 and 45 and 25 saying exactly the same thing about men and vice versa.
Misogyny is rife among men and misandry among women.
There are six reasons to this deterioration in civility between the sexes.
The first reason I call invulnerability signaling, it's a phrase I coined.
I think the two genders are signaling to each other, I don't need you, I'm self-sufficient.
See if I care, I'm autonomous, I have my goals and I'm focused on them. I don't have emotions, I'm uninvolved, I'm not vulnerable.
So while in the past until let's say 40 years ago, people were signaling to each other their vulnerabilities in order for example to have sex or to date.
People are now signaling to each other their invulnerability.
It's a kind of F of message or signal.
And this has become an ossified ideology.
It's cool to be vulnerable.
It's the right thing to do.
The second trend is what Barbara Rissman described as gender vertigo.
Gender vertigo is the outcome of having dispense with classical traditional gender roles, men, women.
These gender roles haven't been modified.
They have been eliminated in favor of what I call a unigender world.
This transition has had a devastating effect on behavioral scripts, including sexual scripts.
No one knows what to do.
Everyone is lost.
No one knows how to be a man.
No one knows how to be a woman anymore.
So today you don't know what it means to be a man, for example, when dating or having sex.
There are no sexual scripts left.
There are no dating scripts.
There are no gender roles.
There are no guidelines.
And this yields enormous confusion regarding what is appropriate and what is inappropriate behavior and what is a code of conduct to be adopted and emulated or modeled.
Today every relationship has to be negotiated from scratch.
My mother, my father, my grandmother, my grandfather, when they had met and when they were on the way to becoming a couple, when they were in the process, they were guided by codes, by gender roles, society-wide codes.
They didn't need to embark on a thousand-mile march.
They just needed to traverse the last mile to home.
Today if you start a new relationship, you have no guidelines.
You have to negotiate everything.
But it is to be a man in this relationship.
What does it mean to be a woman in this relationship?
What is acceptable behavior?
What constitutes infidelity?
What are the boundaries, etc., etc.?
90% of the time is spent on negotiations.
Everything has to be negotiated from scratch in every single relationship.
And this is extremely time-consuming, wasteful and destructive.
It creates friction.
It's exhausting.
And so this onerous process leads inevitably to avoidance, withdrawal and schizo-it atomization.
People just give up on relationships.
People are tired.
They don't want to do this anymore.
They stay at home.
Netflix and cats, not necessarily in this order.
2016 was the first year that a majority of women and a majority of men in the United States did not have a single meaningful contact with a member of the opposite sex with the exception perhaps of pizza delivered.
Now the next trend is what is called the Stolled Revolution.
The Stolled Revolution means that women describe themselves increasingly more by using traditional masculine adjectives and terms.
Seven out of eight self-descriptive words used by women are traditional masculine adjectives.
Unigender is a single masculine gender.
Femininity has been effectively abolished.
There are men with penises and men with vaginas, period.
We are all masculine.
Women have become breadwinners.
Women have surpassed men in a variety of areas, far more educated, for example.
Women have become men.
Women aspire to be men, or more precisely narcissistic and psychopathic men.
There is a convergence of being men and being a man and being a woman.
In the politically correct media, the mainstream media adore this uniformity, embellish it, promote it.
Here's the moronic phrase "pregnant people".
The CNN and the New York Times no longer use the phrase "pregnant women".
It's now "pregnant people".
It's like saying people with testicles, not men.
You know, we are all people in the New World.
We're not men.
We're not women.
We're just people.
Some of us mysteriously get pregnant.
That's it.
Eliminating this beautiful difference, this wonder, this charm between agendas, the source, the engine of attraction, of sex, sexuality, fecundity, fertility, procreation, and recreation, eliminating this polarity between men and women made us so much poorer.
We are utterly impoverished nowadays when it comes to the relations, what's left of them, between men and women.
Gradually, the very concept of sex is equally being erased via the concept of sex fluidity.
Let me make something clear.
Transgender and transsexual people do possess innate experiences of not belonging to their biological sex.
That is an indisputable fact.
It's known as gender dysphoria.
There's no reason for these people to not act on this innate feeling and change their sex in order to conform to how they feel.
But gender fluidity and sex fluidity as ideologies, as identity politics, these have nothing to do with gender dysphoria.
Negating one's biological sex or social and cultural gender as patriarchal, evil, malevolent, a construct, something that is intended to enslave the other sex.
Because men are saying this about women as well.
Women are saying that men were out to enslave them in the patriarchy.
Men are now retorting that they have been the slaves all along.
But all this is propaganda, not evidence-based science, and should not lead to policymaking.
So this gender dysphoria, which is a psychological clinical entity, and then there's ideology, patriarchy, the other sex is evil, malevolent, sex is construct, the aim of one sex to enslave the other.
All this is, this is, this is not science.
It's the ideological crust above all these changes that renders us stultified and nullified and creates all these conflicts in man.
The next trend is what I call defined agency.
There's a big brouhaha about being a gentic, reacquiring agency and self-efficacy.
And of course, agency and self-efficacy are healthy. They should be pursued. They are markers of mental health.
But the contemporary variants have been imbued with aggression. They're euphemisms. They're not real. People are transitioning from assertiveness to violence, to reckless defiance, to consummationness, to in-your-face aggression.
So now people are, people display their agency or their self-efficacy. They're displaying it by trampling on other people, by acting recklessly, by being violent and aggressive, by becoming abusive.
There's always been a healthy tension between men and women.
I mean, that's been the source of attraction between them.
There's always been a discourse between genders.
And it's true that women were really mistreated to some extent and slaved.
But in the last 150 years, it's no longer true.
All intergender discourses have ultimately proven to be essentially benign and constructive during this period.
And the discourse been malevolent and malignant.
Women would not have been where they are today, more liberated and emancipated.
Men gave them this power.
Men gave up on this power.
So it seems that men had participated in the discourse in good faith, at least judging by the outcomes.
We are not there yet.
Equity is still to be attained and obtained in a variety of areas.
But we have come a long way, a very long way.
The intergender dialogue has been useful.
Instead, now we are corrupting it.
We are contaminating it.
We are rendering it malignant.
Because we are making this discourse defiant, hostile, aggressive, instead of agentic.
The last trend is what I call the enshrined double standard.
Now, there's always been a double standard.
Of course, women who behaved in a certain way sexually were castigated as sluts.
Men who behaved exactly the same way were exalted as studs.
It was good, the right thing for men.
It was very bad for women's reputation.
So that's the double standard.
But what happened is an amazing thing.
Women have adopted the male double standard.
Women are trying to conform to chauvinistic male stereotypes of sexually emancipated women.
Nowadays there's slut pride parades.
I don't know why.
Women don't realize that to be a slut is to conform to the most extreme misogynistic male stereotype of women.
If you're proud of the raunch culture, you're a chauvinistic men's wet dream.
You conform to his worldview and his perception of you as a woman.
Women claim to be empowered, but there are multiple studies, for example, by Lisa Wade, by Kerry Cohen, by many others, that demonstrate that the women who claim to be empowered are the most actually suppressed.
Women who claim to be empowered the most are the women who had adopted and internalized and interjected the male double standard.
For example, these kind of women, the most promiscuous and sluttish, they told their researchers, "I've had 40 sexual partners, but don't tell anyone because it is shameful." So these women are emancipated.
They're empowered, but they do it stealthily, secretly, surreptitiously.
Why?
Because men and other women will think badly of them.
Had anyone known about their body count, they would be ostracized.
So these women have actually adopted the male double standard.
And this duality, this self-denial, this self-deception, they're driving the genders apart because women are conforming to stereotypes held by narcissistic, chauvinistic, misogynistic men.
The majority of men find this very off-putting because most men are not chauvinistic, not psychopathic, not narcissistic.
Most men are good men.
These typical men are beginning to find women disgusting, repulsive, off-putting the same way they find narcissistic psychopathic men repellent.
Good men detest psychopathic, narcissistic men.
And when women begin to resemble these psychopathic, narcissistic men, they push away good men.
They become repulsive to good men.
So there is a break, a schism between the genders because women are acting the part that actually the vast majority of men don't want them to act.
And men are acting the part that now women are rejecting because it doesn't sit well with the alpha male, narcissistic, chauvinistic, psychopathic kind of guy, the bad guy.
And so men give up.
Men give up on education.
Men give up on finding a job.
Men give up on commitment or investment.
Men who are more into dark trialed personalities.
Men who are psychopathic, men who are narcissistic just take advantage of women's promiscuity and accessibility and abuse them in a variety of ways.
They become predators.
Women are rejecting themselves.
Women have internalized and introjected the double standard, the male double standard.
When you say I'm a slut, supposedly it's a proud self-designation, but actually deep inside you feel shame.
And this shame is an introject of the male gaze.
This inadissonance creates self-harming and self-trashing behaviors.
The incidence of sexual self-trashing and other forms of self-harming among women is much, much higher than today than it has been 40 or 20 or 30 or even 20 years ago.
For example, the incidence of depression among teenage women under the age of 25 is up by 300%.
Anxiety disorders among teenage women have skyrocketed by more than 550% according to studies, especially studies by Twenge and Campbell conducted between 2008 and 2018.
And all this started long before COVID.
COVID may have served as a minor catalyst.
The influence of social media and the exposure to screens have been postulated as possible in the eulogies.
But I believe that the fact that women feel bad with having internalized male chauvinistic, psychopathic, narcissistic stereotypes of themselves, this has driven them to self-punishment and self-rejection and self-destruction and self-defeat.
Women feel egotistic.
They feel ashamed of themselves.
They feel guilty.
They act this way.
They betray themselves.
They deny themselves because they're expected to act this way because they're empowered.
And who told them that?
Who told them that?
Men, essentially.
Initially.
Men.
It's the male gaze that has always defined them, now is defining them as promiscuous.
But even inside, this sucks.
Women feel bad.
They feel that they are not themselves.
They feel that they are acting.
It's a role play.
I consider it a form of self-harminess and a thrashing, self-punishment for not being you, for succumbing, for giving in, for falsifying and betraying yourself if you're a woman.
Not all women are madonnas and not all women are whores, but we can safely generalize statistically speaking about the behavior, especially, of younger women.
A true feminist would encourage women to free themselves of the male gaze, the defining male gaze altogether.
A true feminist would encourage them to not adopt the gaze of the psychopathic, narcissistic male, the predators who are having a field day with female promiscuity.
As to men, why would men choose to be monogamous?
Monogamy is a cost.
Why would you pay anything for something you can get free?
For free.
It's not nice to say, but throughout the ages, women have been trading sex for stability, for longevity, of relationships and for child rearing.
Sex was the coinage of the intergender coinage.
That was the deal.
It was transactional.
And now women are giving this for free.
It's totally self-destructive and they're calling it self-empowerment.
Anything that is commodified is devalued.
Women feel pressured into engaging in sex acts, which in the past used to be reserved only for intimate partners.
Women and men have always maintained a kind of inventory.
These acts I'm doing with strangers and these acts I reserve only for my intimate partners.
I never kiss with a stranger, for example.
There are some things I never do with a stranger and I do them only with my intimate partner so that my intimate partner could feel special.
And now this is gone as well.
The specialness is gone.
The mystery.
It's very sad.
It's a disenchanted world.
Weber called it the great disenchanted.
It's especially sad for people my age because I had witnessed and experienced the world before.
Now women would say it was a patriarchal world.
It was a men's world.
Yeah, the logic says that's true.
And these vestiges of masculine dominance should have been dispensed with.
But we threw the baby with the bathwater, with the bathroom and with the entire apartment unafraid.
The assumptions of the intergender dialogue have changed.
Everything is kept on the surface, real intimacy shined.
And this harks back to the first trend.
Remember invulnerability signaling.
If you let anyone in, if you let anyone in, they are going to spot your vulnerabilities and you don't want them to realize your vulnerabilities because then they can and will hurt you.
They're going to hurt you for sure.
They're going to take advantage of you.
It's a given.
So you're not going to let them in.
And there are new trends which are very bothersome, very worrying.
For example, as of a few years ago, the majority of women have renounced men psychologically in the sense that women are now actually looking for what the Manosphere call better males.
The majority of women in studies since 2018 report that they are actually selecting what the Manosphere calls better males as partners, even for one might's sense.
This is because women have adopted narcissistic and psychopathic male role models.
And so now they want to feel superior, even in a brief interaction.
They want to feel in control.
Women studies show that there has been a shift in preferences for the first time in human history from alpha empathic team building successful winners to better losers.
Now men on the Manosphere, of course, are denying this, but they're simply not updated.
They rely on nonsensical non-studies.
Many women now have careers.
Many women now are self-sufficient economically.
They actually seek better males that they can kind of tame, domesticate, and subjugate at home.
They want to lord over men, even bully them.
And yes, many women are men haters.
There's a kind of payback, retaliation, retaliatory state of mind involved.
Because men have wronged women for millennia.
Men have abused women for so long, now it's women's turn.
I reiterate, women have adopted narcissistic and psychopathic male role models rather than good, healthy, constructive male role models.
I'm not sure why women have adopted male role models to start with, but they definitely chose the wrong ones.
Same-sex relationships and sexuality are going to become more common.
Why would a man go for a poor imitation of masculinity if he can access the original?
And the same applies to women.
Why would you go for an effeminate sort of masculine of a man?
Just head straight for a woman.
At the same time, there's going to be a lot more atomization.
We are already seeing this, for example, the frequency of sex and dating among people younger than 35, and especially among people younger than 25, is much lower than in their parents' generations and their grandparents' generation.
People under the age of 25 date far less and have far fewer sex partners than in previous generations.
Dating has declined within 10 years by 60%.
Six-zero.
Even hookups are on the decline.
So people have cynically given up on each other.
They gravitate into same-sex relationships or into experimental kinky sex or into celibacy.
We have a search, for example, in swinging, the lifestyle, in open relationships, open marriages.
About 3% of dyads self-identify as being in open relationships and open marriages.
3% sounds like a small number, but it's an enormous leap from the 1950s.
Ultimately, we will end up being ensconced and cocooned in our abodes.
We will interact digitally and we will find sex substitutes.
The consumption of pornography is through the roof, five times higher than only five years ago.
There's a book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which documents this phenomenon.
Pornography by now is definitely the main substitute for 3D sex, as far as men are concerned, and the main source for sexual education among the young.
Men consider pornography to be a full-fledged substitute to the real thing.
Women are not there yet, although they are gravitating towards pornography, textual pornography, but also visual.
Sex dolls and digital sex with tactile haptic inputs, they're next.
People just give up on any viable alternative. They settle for whatever they can get.
Things like friends with benefits.
Lisa Wade in her studies describes conversations with young girls between the ages of 15 and 30.
These young women said to her, "The worst thing you could do is show emotions.
You should never cling.
You should never catch emotions.
You should never ever write to your sex partner after the first one-night stand." These women mock other women who do this.
They say that it's a common practice for men to send them SMSs, text messages, saying, "Don't call me again.
Don't contact me again." It was a one-time thing.
They say that there's a code of behavior where both sides intentionally get drunk so that they can blame the drink and say, "There was nothing there.
It was not emotional.
It was not even sexual.
We were just drunk." So drinking alcohol has become a kind of alibi or excuse.
This is not a subculture.
It encompasses, according to Lisa Wade, 81% of young women.
Now, Lisa Wade is a prominent scholar, one of a few.
She says that about four-fifths of young women adhere to this code, which is a code of rejection, a code of alienation, a code of detachment, a code of cynicism, a code of what I call signaling invulnerability.
I don't need you.
I used you.
And now I don't need you anymore.
I'm self-sufficient.
I'm all I need.
I'm not interested in you.
I have no emotions.
I'm not even sexually attracted to you.
I was bloody drunk.
I didn't know what I was doing.
Don't ever call me.
Don't dare to write to me.
You cling in needy, codependent, disgusting nonbeing.
This is the inter-gender dialogue among the young nowadays.
Most of it.
Another phenomenon is self-pornography.
Growing numbers of people, mainly women, but also men, generate pornography.
And they just give it away.
They put it out there.
They turn on live cams and often not for money.
Pornography is a transient substitute for any kind of connection, a momentary for intimacy via self-objectification.
Sexting with strangers is driven by the same psychological motivations and needs as coming.
So today a woman who refuses to masturbate on camera, she needs help.
Something's wrong with her.
She's a prude who is denying her own sexuality.
This improvement, empowerment thing, is all male dictated.
It's all male oriented.
It's male self-interest.
It's ironical.
It's crazy.
It's mind-blowing.
It's a male's wonderland.
And women comply and collaborate and collude as they've always done.
Women are converting themselves into a commodity, objectifying themselves.
And then they are giving themselves freely to men who demand it because they have stereotypes of promiscuous women.
And then these women are proud of what they have become.