Why Men Abuse Modern Women, Degrade Them Sexually

Uploaded 12/24/2021, approx. 16 minute read

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to all of you wherever you may be stuck owing to COVID restrictions.

And to liberate my mind, if not my body, I am using a Macedonian wine. Macedonian wines are among the best in the world. And no, I am not a shill. I am not receiving a commission for saying this. And it's not advertising. It's simply a fact. S

o here we are. Let's pour a glass to this oncoming year. It cannot be worse than the previous two.

Today, I'm going to attack men. It's not the first time I'm doing this. I'm an equal opportunity abuser.

I have several videos attacking the current modern misconduct of men because men are misbehaving big time. Not that women are not, but men in a way have started it 5,000 years ago.

So today I'm going to focus on men and what men do to women.

I refer you to a series of videos I've made previously about contemporary sexuality, about the way modern women comport themselves, make choices and decisions, their psychological background and social psychological background and so on and so forth. It would be a good introduction to this video.

This whole thing, this whole kind of cycle of videos is part and parcel of my new syllabus of youth sexuality, syllabus that I'm preparing, that I'm writing as we speak. For CIAPS, the Centre for International and Advanced Professional Studies, the Outreach Program of the SIAS Consortium of Universities. Youth Sexuality is going to be taught in CIAPS starting in October and I'm submitting the final draft of the syllabus for the fifth time actually on the 27th.

So this is the final video in the cycle and I hope this way I'm going to wrap up the topic and revert to my old abode narcissism, psychopathy, borderline and other wonderful manifestations of the human spirit.

Okay Shoshanim, let's start with facts.

In aggregate, women are now earning more than men. Yes, it's a fact. Women make more money than men. Actually, about two in every five providers are now men, primary breadwinners are now women. So 40% of primary breadwinners are now women.

Their men stay at home. They are house husbands or house men. They take care of the kids, they clean the house, they throw the garbage.

There's been a reversal in this sense and it's ongoing.

Women now are earning more than men because they are way more educated. Anywhere between 60 and 70% of college graduates are actually women and the best predictor of lifelong income is education. The higher your education, the more money you make throughout your professional life.

Women had monopolized certain critical professions, anything from the judiciary to medicine, teaching, of course.

And women today prefer their careers to any men for much longer than before. Women marry much, much later, 32 years of age in the United Kingdom, 28 years of age in the United States. That's something like 10 years, about 10 years later than just 20 years ago. So women are postponing marriage and postponing committed relationships.

Actually, marriage is in the minority nowadays. Most women cohabit if they do engage in a committed relationship, they cohabit in order to maintain the flexibility to exit their relationship and pursue their career, for example, if they have to relocate.

About two fifths of women, around 45% across the lifespan, remain single for life. They go celibate or they do casual sex. That's according to Pew Center studies between 2019 and 2021.

Women are catching up with men in a variety of other unsavory ways.

I'm sorry to say that women are beginning to be equal to men when it comes to infidelity. The rate of adultery, extramarital affairs and cheating generally, betrayal are now almost equal between men and women.

Narcissism is on the rise among women and today there's an equal number of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder among women as among men, 50-50.

Psychopathy is on the rise among women and if we consider borderline personality disorder to be a form of secondary psychopathy, as is the current cutting edge thinking, then perhaps there are more psychopathic women than men.

Promiscuity, of course, is equal among men and women, which is a shocking development, absolutely shocking development because promiscuous sexual behavior had gone up 30-fold within 40 years among women.

And finally, antisocial behaviors among women are becoming more and more common and that includes violent crime.

So women are becoming more and more like men.

Lisa Wade and others point to huge studies, enormous studies over 40 years or 30-40,000 people, which demonstrate conclusively that women describe themselves more and more in masculine terms as men also use the same terms to describe themselves.

So women are becoming more and more manly. They close the gap with men in terms of self-image, sub-description and self-deception and we end up with unigender, a single gender, a masculine gender in a hyper masculinized world.

Women are empowered in all fields of life, but there's one exception, sex and interpersonal relationships.

Women are empowered in their careers, women are empowered in their relationships with colleagues, with institutions, with the authorities, you name it.

But when it comes to sex and interpersonal relationships, women are less empowered than ever.

How come? Why this discrepancy?

It's because of men.

To attract men and to keep men, women still self-objectify. Actually, they self-objectify much more than their great grandmothers.

Self-objectification started more or less in the 1920s when makeup became very common. Yes, there was no makeup before 1920, believe it or not. Makeup is a modern, a new invention.

So women started to self-objectify, to dole up, to become object of sexual desire, to transition from being sexual to being sexy, to use Paris Hilton's famous adage.

So women became sexy rather than sexual.

This started in the 1920s, but it had reached a crescendo recently.

Women self-objectify like never before. They groom, they titivate themselves, they wear skimpy clothing, they go under the knife. Plastic and cosmetic surgery had absolutely supernovae. And women succumbed to the most degrading sexual demands of men, even total strangers in hookups or in group sex. And group sex, like threesomes, is becoming more and more common, as do open relationships, a license to cheat.

Sex and intimacy are men's Alamo. Remember the Alamo. Sex and intimacy are the last stand of men in an ever-shrinking enclave of virility and erstwhile dominance. It's a vengeful throwback.

Men regard sex and intimate relationships as the last place on earth where they could still be men, masculine, dominant, in control, in dictate.

Now, some may say this is toxic masculinity, but it is traditional masculinity in large measure. It's become toxic because of the siege mentality of men.

Men now exaggerate and caricature, waning chauvinistic machoism as a way to punish uppity women for their inexorable ascendance. They want to put women in their place, reduce women to size.

And how can men do that? How can you contain a woman?

She makes more money than you. She's more educated than you. She's more skilled than you. She goes further in life than you. She's more powerful than you.

There's only one way. Humiliate and degrade her sexually. Prostitute her if you can. Abuse her in a relationship verbally, psychologically, financially, and otherwise. Trample on her whenever she tries to get close. Convert intimacy into a form of nightmare. Render the whole thing surrealistic, and that's precisely what men do on a massive scale.

Consequently, we have a subculture of refugees from abusive relationships. We have tens of millions of women who had graduated from the School of Masculine Abuse, and they act exactly as refugees do. They have all the dynamics of refugees, including complex trauma, CPTSD.

These women are wary of men. They suspect men. They mistrust men. And many of them hate men actively.

Being sexually and emotionally abusive to women is men's way of restoring their challenged grandiose superiority.

Now, most of this superiority had been merely imagined. A lot of this so-called superiority had been enforced by muscle power. Men acted as bullies. They tortured women, domestic violence, and abuse. They hospitalized a woman who would talk back, and argue, and challenge.

So men used muscle power, raw muscle power, to subjugate women. Now, that's not working anymore, because A, it's illegal. Two, it's not self-efficacious in modern technology empowered world.

So men had lost the only advantage they ever had, their muscle power. And so now they feel bereft. They feel the underdog. They feel discriminated against. They regard the whole power structure as a leverage of women against them. They say that women use the legal system, for example, to emasculate them and to steal their money, their hard-earned money.

And so there's a war, a nascent war, between men and women in divorce courts, in hookups, in dating, so-called dating. Dating has become a glorified term for hookups.

In bars, in pubs, and nightclubs across the world, men are fighting women, and women are defending themselves to a large extent unsuccessfully.

Men are wielding the good, old, reliable double standard, slut-shaming, pathologizing women who are sexually active, women who love sex and men, women who pursue sex, you know, in a liberated, emancipated way, without shame.

Men pathologize these women. They say that they are not relationship material, and they slut-shame them.

The same behavior is judged differently, depending on who perpetrates it. Men is judged differently to a woman.

And men will never give up on the double standard. It's the last remaining weapon. It's a weapon of last resort. They're never going to give up on it. On the very contrary, they're going to enhance the perniciousness, and they're going to enhance the old pervasiveness of the double standard.

They're going to render it structural. They're going to make it a part of the sexual script of the future, a part of the gender role of the future.

Men are on the retreat. They have a siege mentality, as I said. They're fighting back. They're fighting back, and it's red in tooth and claw. The battle is joined, and it is bloody, and it is gloomy, and it is ominous.

And so each of the parties, men and women, are using all the tools at their disposal to eviscerate, emasculate the other side.

It's a battlefield out there. Love is a battlefield. She was right.

And women are reacting, of course, to men's abuse. Women, increasingly, are going their own way.

There's a minority of men who are doing the same. MGTOW, men going their own way. There's a smaller minority of men who are very violent and aggressive about it, incels.

And so there's a comparable movement of women. It's not a structured movement. It's not an organized movement. You won't find much of it online, but you could easily call it women going their own way.

Every year since 2016, a majority of women in the United States had avoided men altogether, not a single encounter. Lesbianism had tripled in the past 20 years. Right now, one of every six women is an avowed and proclaimed lesbian. Other parts of the world are following suit with alacrity.

One of the weapons that women have is infidelity. Cheating had absolutely exploded among women, and women justified cheating. They say their needs are not being met. They say they're being abused. They blame men for their decision making. They blame men for their utterly non-normative and immoral behavior because cheating is immoral.

Now, men have been doing the same for centuries. Men had been cheating on women and betraying them for centuries. Here, the double standard is a play again. A cheating woman is one thing, a cheating man is another.

Boys be boys, women are supposed to be saintly and virginal. They're not supposed to cheat.

But women had become more and more masculine. So now they cheat. And toxic masculinity is now the norm among women as well as among men.

I would say that both women and men are now displaying toxic masculinity. Coupled with unrestricted sociosexuality, we see an explosion of dark triad personalities.

Allow me to explain what I just said.

Toxic masculinity is a set of behaviors which reinforce each other and reject gender differences and accommodation of the needs of the opposite gender.

Toxic masculinity now characterizes both men and women in a unigendered world. Toxic masculinity goes hand in hand in some cases, in many cases actually, with something which we call unrestricted sociosexuality.

Unrestricted social sociosexuality is not a sexual orientation as many of you had written to me. It is not. It is a fancy name, a fancy term for promiscuity simply.

So unrestricted sexuality, the tendency to have sex in non-committed relationships and often casually, casual sex, coupled with toxic masculinity, go hand in hand with dark triad personalities.

In other words, with narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. This is the combination from hell. It's a triple whammy.

Surprisingly though, this unsavory mix, toxic masculinity, promiscuity, dark triad personality, this unsavory mix does not always automatically translate into infidelity.

If the intimate partner is boundaried and committed to the relationship, the risk of infidelity is no higher than average.

So why is infidelity exploding?

Because people are not committed in their relationships. And why are people not committed in their relationships?

Because one, they don't want to commit or to invest. Men get sex, no strings attached sex. So why would they commit or invest? You know, you've got the milk, why buy the cow?

So men have an inbuilt incentive. The incentive structure of current sexual scripts and mores is such that men don't want to commit or to invest because they're getting everything they want, sex, no strings attached, free of cost anywhere, online or offline.

Women, on the other hand, do not want to commit because they are invested in their cherished careers. And then later on, they lack the skills to maintain intimacy and to have meaningful sex with men. And they are also exposed to men's abusive ways as a way to restore the sense of masculinity and virility.

So put all of this together, commitment to career, abuse in relationships, and lack of ability or lack of knowledge or lack of skills on how to have meaningful emotional sex and how to maintain intimacy. And it renders women equally non-committal.

So men don't want to commit, women don't want to commit, there's no commitment in relationships.

The lack of commitment in intimate relationships nowadays is considered the main reason for infidelity.

And it is the first time in human history where men actually are more committed than women. Men, for the first time, starting in 2019, men are the ones who want deep, romantic, intimate, long-term relationships. And they want these relationships more than women do. Women are the ones who are rejecting men, not the other way around.

The first time in human history, both genders are equally invested. Women are little more than men in not having committed relationships.

And this, of course, gives rise to infidelity.

Additionally, if sex is meaningless, if sex is emotionless, then sex doesn't matter. It's like, you know, having dinner with someone.

So because sex doesn't matter, because of this permissive attitude to sex, cheating is perceived, infidelity is perceived as nothing special, nothing meaningful.

And so why make a fuss about it? Why make a big deal about it? It happens, you know, it was drunk, this, that. And so I cheated on you, but it's just an incident. Don't take it so badly.

So infidelity is more and more accepted socially and more and more accepted individually within relationships.

Plus, between you and me, infidelity is great because it allows the partners to not invest in the relationship, to not commit in the relationship and to blame the other.

I am not committed to the relationship. I'm not investing in a relationship. And I'm being abusive to you because you had cheated on me. Cheating is a great way to legitimize abuse within relationships. Both parties engage rampantly, celebrate this newfound excuses and freedom to abuse each other.

The problem is that few people bearing this psychological profile are boundaried. And even fewer people with this psychological profile are able to commit within relationships. They have what we call insecure attachment styles.

So when we have someone with toxic masculinity, which today characterizes men and women, and someone who engages in substance abuse, and someone who is socio-sexually permissible and restricted, in other words, promiscuous. And finally, someone who is a bit psychopathic, a bit narcissistic, a bit Machiavellian.

When we have this time bomb put together, it bodes ill for the capacity to have long-term relationships or for the longevity once they are embarked upon.

And so now these parameters, these dimensions, these traits, characteristics are so widespread that we could easily say that the majority of the population, one way or another, has some of them. And a sizable minority has all of them.

So these kind of people, they tend to bail out, they tend to cheat with the first sign of serious difficulties in the relationship. And accustomed to meaningless and unemotional sex, these people hold a more permissive and dismissive view of extramarital casual sexual encounters. They dismiss them.

Consequently, the phenomenon of serial cheating is substantially on the rise.

People don't cheat once anymore. They make it a life habit.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to get fully informed regarding the relationship and sexual histories of a potential intimate partner. Whenever you come across someone and you consider the possibility of having a relationship with them, ask, ask and ask again. Yes, interrogate them, interrogate them about their relationship and sexual history.


Because past misbehavior is an infallible predictor of future misbehavior. Period. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's nonsense.

That's precisely why in psychology, we study people's past. That's the only way to get to know people is to get really, really acquainted to the minutest details with their past, or you would be in for some very nasty surprises.

So this is where we stand.

Women are on the ascendance. Men are reacting by abusing them and degrading them sexually.

The incidence of infidelity is increasing as does the incidence of celibacy. People are opting out by changing sexual orientation. More and more women are becoming lesbian. I think same sex among men is also increasing, although more stealthily. It's less reported or into stigma and so on.

And there is a veritable supernova, not of empathy, not a super empath or supernova empath, not this nonsense, but there is a veritable supernova in a variety of antisocial, narcissistic, psychopathic behaviors, in toxic masculinity, in promiscuity, unrestricted sociosexuality, and in dark triad and dark tetrad personalities. This is the perfect storm.

Men had been abusing women for millennia and killing women for millennia. Men had also been protecting women for millennia and facilitating women's survival for millennia.

Women, on the other hand, are taking matters into their own hands now, as they should, and so they should. Women are becoming independent, autonomous, self efficacious, and agentic. Good for them.

But in this process, women had adopted male role models, wrong male role models, bullies, narcissists, psychopaths. Everyone is becoming more narcissistic and more psychopathic.

We are living in a society where men and women are becoming indistinguishable, except through their genitalia. And this is extremely bad news for the human species

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Men’s Last Stand (Women: Listen up! and Taylor Swift)

The gender war has been ongoing for centuries, with women fighting for emancipation and men now pushing back against perceived threats to their dominance. Men are organizing in groups like MGTOW and incels, promoting toxic masculinity and misogyny. Women face a choice between adopting masculine traits and engaging in casual sex or regressing to traditional female roles. As a result, intimacy, relationships, and family life are suffering, with both men and women feeling increasingly isolated and disconnected.

Gender Firewalls in Unigender Vertigo

The text discusses two recent studies on gender relations and the author's analysis of them. It also delves into six trends that have led to a growing hostility and conflict between men and women. The trends include the adoption of traditional masculine traits by women, the erosion of gender roles, and the rise of self-objectification and detachment in relationships. The author also highlights the impact of these trends on intimacy, sexuality, and mental health.

Feminism: From Equity to Psychopathy

Third and fourth wave feminism has led to three dead-end solutions: standardization, emasculation, and masculinization. These solutions have resulted in a gender war and a decline in relationships, marriage, and childbirth rates. The focus on career and casual sex has left both men and women ill-equipped for long-term committed relationships and traditional gender roles. The current state of feminism does not offer viable solutions for a healthy balance between men and women in society.

Narcissistic Youth Sexlessness: Porn and Relationships in a Dying World

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the decline in sexual activity and satisfaction, particularly among younger generations, attributing it to rising narcissism, inhibitions, distractions, and environmental factors. He notes that casual sex is less satisfying than relationship sex, and that women are avoiding bad sex. The consequences of this decline include a collapse in birth rates and a rise in single adults living without partners. Additionally, pornography is reducing the desire for real-life sex, and dating apps are inefficient.

Dealbreaker: No Male “Friends” for Wife, Girlfriend

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of male-female friendships and the miscommunication and misinterpretation of sexual interest between the genders. He argues that men are more likely to misinterpret friendliness as sexual interest, while women tend to misinterpret sexual signaling as friendliness. Vaknin also suggests that men are generally more sexually attracted to their female friends than vice versa, and that the belief in purely platonic friendships can lead to negative outcomes such as sexual harassment and assault. He emphasizes the need for clear communication and understanding between men and women in these relationships.

Manosphere - Misogynistic Suicide by Woman: PUAs, Incels, MGTOWs, and Pillers (Red and Black)

The Manosphere is a complex online space where men discuss various topics related to gender roles, relationships, and societal trends. It includes pickup artists, incels, and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) communities, among others. These groups often have conflicting views and criticize each other. The rise of the Manosphere reflects significant social and cultural shifts, including the changing roles of men and women in society, the decline of traditional gender roles, and the increasing prevalence of unigender behaviors.

Is Sam Vaknin a Misogynist (Woman-hater)?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the negative impact of casual sex and the Stold Revolution, where women are rejecting feminine aspects and defining themselves in masculine terms. He argues that this trend is leading to an androgynous unigender state and a decline in relationships between genders. Women are conforming to male stereotypes of sexually emancipated sluts, claiming empowerment, but this is belied by the male double standard. Casual sex has adverse impacts on mental and physical health, and women have a tendency to select inappropriate males for breeding. The missing skills required to maintain intimacy in relationships are the ability to compromise, set boundaries, be vulnerable, tolerate frustration, give space, trust, and cooperate.

How Porn Destroyed Sex (and Narcissism, of course) (ENGLISH responses)

Pornography has severe psychological effects, even on those who consume it casually. It diminishes the ability to connect intimacy to sexual arousal, objectifies the female body, and reduces it to body parts. Pornography also includes a lot of aggression, which leads teenagers to expect real-life sex to be aggressive and violent. The boundaries between pornography and real-life sex have blurred to the point that men feel entitled to demand from women to be porn stars. Women have developed pornographic availability as a counter to pornography, and the whole real-life sex has become pornographic. Women are in a terrible situation because they have to escalate to attract men. Men don't need women anymore because the only thing that a woman could give that was exclusive was her anatomy, and now, this is free. Women and men

What’s Wrong with Voluntary Sex Work, Promiscuity? (EXCERPTS)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the changing gender roles and how women are adopting masculine traits. He argues that sex work is not morally or socially wrong and that it is a patriarchal judgment to condemn it. Vaknin distinguishes between sex work and promiscuity, stating that promiscuity is addictive and has negative outcomes, including fostering anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. He argues that sex positivity is a pernicious and dangerous ideology that has ruined the lives of countless young men and women and should be removed from the curricula of universities and higher education institutes.

Men, We Miss You, Please Come Back! Signed: Your Women

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the current state of men and how it has driven women to behave dysfunctionally. He highlights that men are underachievers, underemployed, and overrepresented in menial jobs, leading to resentment and withdrawal from relationships and commitment. This has forced women to take on both traditional male and female roles, leading to a "unigender" society with blurred gender roles and increased competition between men and women. Vaknin expresses concern for the future of intimacy and relationships, as the younger generation becomes more narcissistic and disconnected from one another.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy