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How Narcissist Mortifies Himself/Herself

Uploaded 12/4/2023, approx. 7 minute read

The narcissist is faced with a prolonged period of deficient or irregular narcissistic supply, when the narcissist collapses, many narcissists become schizoid, avoidant.

They run away from painful reality. They pretend that fantasy is reality. They withdraw. They become hermits.

That is the schizoid phase in the narcissistic cycle, an inevitable phase, which is often accompanied by mood disorders, dysphoria or depressions of all kinds.

Now, during this period, the narcissist's only interlocutors, the only presencein the narcissist's life, are his internal objects.

Obviously, since the narcissist avoids external objects, all he is left with are the representations of these external objects in his mind.

During the schizoid phase, the narcissist self-supplies.

I encourage you to watch the videos about self-supply. Links in the description.

He does not venture out. He does not solicit. He does coerce. He does cajole. He does compel. He does beg. He does impress. He does communicate. He is avoidant.

He withdraws. His life is constricted.

So rather than interact with other people, he supplies himself.

But self-supply carries with it its own risks.

Because when the narcissist self-supplies, his introjects, the internal objects in his mind, they become the audience. They become his admiring and adulating and affirming public.

So the narcissist self-audiences, he develops an internal theater replete with and populated by numerous internal objects, introjects, voices, memories and so on and so forth.

And these become his reference group. He derives narcissistic self-supply from the introjects, from these internal objects. He becomes utterly solipsistic and one would even say psychotic.

Clinically, this condition involves delusional disorders and psychotic elements.

The narcissist no longer inhabits the external world. He is totally immersed in and a denizen of his own mind.

And he shuts himself off from the environment. He becomes a recluse.

And so in the schizoeth phase, when the narcissist self-supplies, his introjects and voices and internal objects are his audience and his public, and he can self-motify amazingly by failing at accomplishing something, by getting in touch with his own shame or with his own negative affectivity, early childhood artifacts, the outcomes of early childhood abuse and trauma, the narcissist then experiences modification.

It's as if he were exposing himself to his new audience, to his new public, which is himself.

So a narcissist, for example, can suddenly realize something about himself. He can suddenly gain unwanted, undesired insight about himself.

And this insight illuminates the narcissist's frailties, deficiencies, defects, problems and inadequacies.

And the narcissist then feels ashamed, feels humiliated in front of the introjects and the internal objects in his mind, which during the schizoeth self-supply phase he perceives as external public, a kind of audience, self-audience.

Now this process, this process of shaming oneself, humiliating oneself in front of oneself, this process is known or should be known as self-motification.

Of course, all of us sometimes are ashamed of ourselves. All of us sometimes interact with voices inside our heads, mother's voice, father's voice, a teacher's voice, a role model's voice. All of us interact with these voices and try to justify ourselves. All of us sometimes feel humiliated and ashamed when we realize that we've done something wrong. This is known as conscience. It's a cluster of introjects.

So this is not a new phenomenon, but in the case of the narcissist, because of his fragility, because of his vulnerability, and all narcissists are compensatory.

The narcissist, pathological narcissism, is a compensatory mechanism. It compensates for an innate sense of inferiority, inadequacy, known as the bad object.

So when you, as a healthy person, when you get in touch with your shame, with your conscience, when you castigate and chastise and criticize yourself for something you've done, this would usually yield behavior modification.

You would change your conduct. You would make decisions. You would make choices that would guarantee that this kind of shame would not recur, not happen again.

In short, in a healthy person, shame, negative affectivity, guilt, conscience, they lead to growth. They lead to personal development.

In the narcissist, shame and similar negative effects, envy and so on, they lead to disintegration. They lead to a process known as decompensation.

The narcissist defenses are deactivated. The narcissist is left face to face without any protection, any firewall, any partition, face to face with his primordial, atavistic, early childhood, profound shame, profound rage, profound envy, deep seething, unrequited.

The narcissist abreacts. The narcissist essentially falls apart and this is self-motification.

So it is possible for the narcissist to modify himself by acting in a way which he would consider or humiliating in front of the introjects or the internal objects in his mind.

Because remember, the narcissist cannot tell the difference between internal objects and external objects. He is exactly like the psychotic. He cannot tell the difference.

So as far as the narcissist is concerned, being shamed and humiliated in public, in front of external objects, real people out there is the same as being shamed and humiliated in front of internal objects.

So in the schizoid self-supplying phase, self-motification does happen sometimes.

The narcissist is aware of this risk, of this danger. So what he does, he stalks. He self-stalks. He stalks his internal objects. He internalizes stalking. It's a form of maintaining introject and object constancy by revisiting, by monitoring, by surveying, by micromaging, the galaxy of internal objects and introjects and voices in his head.

The narcissist is trying to make sure that these voices will not gang up on him, and cause him modification, and he also attempts to make sure via this self-stalking that these internal objects will not abandon him, will not suddenly evaporate or disappear or be rendered per secrator.

So he stalks his internal objects in order to maintain the constancy and quality of his introjects.

The borderline does the same, by the way. She stalks her internal objects, but she stalks her internal objects because the borderline has not introject constancy.

So she needs to revisit her internal objects to convince herself that they are still there. That's not the case with the narcissist.

Narcissist is very powerful, dominant, I would say, overwhelming introjects. That's not his problem. His problem is object constancy.

But when the introjects are the only objects, which is the case in the schizoid phase, when there isn't an external object to correspond with it, to correspond to the internal object, then the internal objects in the schizoid self-supplying phase become the only exclusive objects, and the narcissist treats them the way he would treat you as an intimate partner or a source of narcissistic supply.

Narcissist develops a relationship with his internal objects that resembles a relationship with an external object. So he would idealize the internal objects, he would revisit them, he would stalk them, he would maintain them, he would sometimes devalue them, etc., etc.

If he, when he reaches the stage of devaluation and discard and renders the internal object per secrator, that's when self-motification often happens. His desperate attempts to avoid this outcome are sometimes not successful.

All the stalking in the world and all the revisiting in the world and all the surveillance in the world, all this leads nowhere in some cases, and that's when the bad object is extremely powerful.

When the bad object is really, really domineering and really, really ubiquitous and pervasive, the narcissist's relationship with his internal objects will inevitably result in devaluation and discard and self-motification.

Narcissist goes through loops and cycles of relationships with external objects and with internal objects, as though there were no differences between them. Sometimes he interacts with you out there, external, separate, as an intimate partner, but make no mistake about it, he is actually interacting with your representation in his mind, with your avatar, with the icon in his brain that represents you.

And so it's very easy for him to transition from the real you out there to the you inside his head, the internal you, and to continue the relationship internally.

And of course, like every relationship, even if it is with an internal object, the cycle proceeds apace, idealization, devaluation, discard, and potentially, modification.

This is a narcissist's self-cycle, self-supply, self-stalking and self-motification, without having a self at all.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Dissociation (Amnesia) & Confabulation in Narcissism (Intl. Conf. Clinical Counseling Psychology)

Dissociation in narcissistic individuals manifests as a reliance on external feedback to maintain their sense of self, leading to a fractured identity characterized by a false self that masks a vulnerable true self. This false self is a construct designed to garner admiration and validation, while the true self remains suppressed and often alienated from the narcissist's conscious experience. Narcissists frequently engage in confabulation to fill memory gaps, creating narratives that distort reality and reinforce their grandiose self-image. Their inner experience is marked by a profound disconnection from their emotions and actions, resulting in a life perceived as a detached performance rather than an authentic existence. Ultimately, the narcissist's reliance on the false self leads to a continuous cycle of emotional turmoil and a lack of genuine self-awareness.


Narcissist's Cognitive Deficits

Narcissists lack empathy and are unable to relate to others, instead withdrawing into a universe populated by avatars. They are incapable of holding an external dialogue and all their dialogues are completely internal. The narcissist attributes their failures and mistakes to circumstances and external causes, while regarding their successes and achievements as proofs of their own omnipotence and omniscience. The narcissist pays a dear price for these distortions of perception, developing paranoid ideation and fading the reality test.


No Narcissist Without YOU as Ego and Self

The narcissist internalizes their partner as an "internal object," creating an idealized version that they interact with exclusively in their mind, rather than engaging with the actual person. This internalization leads to a distorted perception of reality, where the narcissist's emotional and sexual needs are primarily directed towards themselves, often using others as mere tools for self-gratification. The shared fantasy between the narcissist and their partner serves as a battleground between the partner's true self and the narcissist's false self, complicating the dynamics of the relationship. Ultimately, the narcissist's reliance on fantasy over reality results in a profound disconnect, leaving their partners feeling dehumanized and trapped within the narcissist's constructed world.


Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

Narcissistic mortification is a challenge to the false self, which crumbles and is unable to maintain defenses and pretensions. Narcissists use two strategies to restore some cohesiveness to the self: deflated and inflated narcissist. Narcissists engage in mortification, a form of self-mutilation, to feel alive and free from commitment to their false self. Narcissists seek out borderline women to mortify them and experience the unresolved primary conflict with their mother.


WHY Narcissist ALWAYS NEEDS YOU, Even After Snapshotting (and Borderline?)

Narcissists continue to seek interactions with external objects even after snapshotting because they confuse these external objects with internal representations, believing they are engaging with the real person rather than a mental construct. Their inability to perceive the separateness of others leads them to interact with internal objects while attributing external qualities to them, creating a delusional sense of normalcy. This confusion is compounded by their developmental disruptions, resulting in a lack of object constancy and a compulsive need to transition between idealization and devaluation phases. Ultimately, narcissists are trapped in a solipsistic reality where they interact with themselves through the guise of external relationships, failing to recognize the true nature of their interactions.


YOU In Mind Of Narcissist, Borderline

Narcissists experience a profound confusion between internal and external representations of people, leading them to prioritize their internal objects over the actual individuals. They engage in a process of idealization and devaluation of these internal objects, which then influences how they interact with the external world, often coercing others to conform to their internal narratives. This dynamic creates a sense of ownership and control over others, as the narcissist believes that their internal representation of a person is more real than the person themselves. Ultimately, this results in a distorted perception of relationships, where the narcissist's emotional investment lies solely in their internal constructs rather than in genuine connections with others.


Narcissist: Life as a Film

The narcissist lives in a state of profound disconnection from their true self, which is overshadowed by a false self that lacks genuine emotional experience. This internal conflict leads to a pervasive sense of anxiety and detachment, causing the narcissist to feel as though they are merely observing their life rather than actively participating in it. As a result, they often engage in egodystonic behaviors, distancing themselves from the consequences of their actions and rewriting their personal history to align with the false self's narrative. Ultimately, this process erodes the narcissist's sense of self, leaving them alienated and dominated by their disorder.


Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


Discontinuous Narcissist: Fractured and Broken

The narcissist is a product of early abuse and trauma, leading to a world of unpredictability and arbitrary behavior. They deny their true self and nurture a false one, reinventing themselves as they see fit. The narcissist is adaptable, imitating and emulating others, and is best described as being and nothingness. Living with a narcissist is disorienting and problematic, as they have no past or future and occupy an eternal present. They do not keep agreements or adhere to laws and are inconsistent in their likes and dislikes.


Why Narcissist Can't Hear YOU, Understand What You Are Saying To Him

Narcissists block out external stimuli and fail to understand others due to their deep-seated grandiosity, which distorts their perception of reality and leads to self-deception. Their internal speech overrides external voices, causing them to ignore information that contradicts their inflated self-image, resulting in selective auditory attention and perception. This cognitive distortion creates a delusional framework where they filter and retain only information that aligns with their beliefs, while dismissing anything that challenges their grandiosity. Ultimately, this leads to a chaotic internal landscape where the narcissist struggles to communicate effectively, as their internal world is populated by idiosyncratic voices that are largely non-communicable.

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