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How Narcissist Mortifies Himself/Herself

Uploaded 12/4/2023, approx. 7 minute read

The narcissist is faced with a prolonged period of deficient or irregular narcissistic supply, when the narcissist collapses, many narcissists become schizoid, avoidant.

They run away from painful reality. They pretend that fantasy is reality. They withdraw. They become hermits.

That is the schizoid phase in the narcissistic cycle, an inevitable phase, which is often accompanied by mood disorders, dysphoria or depressions of all kinds.

Now, during this period, the narcissist's only interlocutors, the only presencein the narcissist's life, are his internal objects.

Obviously, since the narcissist avoids external objects, all he is left with are the representations of these external objects in his mind.

During the schizoid phase, the narcissist self-supplies.

I encourage you to watch the videos about self-supply. Links in the description.

He does not venture out. He does not solicit. He does coerce. He does cajole. He does compel. He does beg. He does impress. He does communicate. He is avoidant.

He withdraws. His life is constricted.

So rather than interact with other people, he supplies himself.

But self-supply carries with it its own risks.

Because when the narcissist self-supplies, his introjects, the internal objects in his mind, they become the audience. They become his admiring and adulating and affirming public.

So the narcissist self-audiences, he develops an internal theater replete with and populated by numerous internal objects, introjects, voices, memories and so on and so forth.

And these become his reference group. He derives narcissistic self-supply from the introjects, from these internal objects. He becomes utterly solipsistic and one would even say psychotic.

Clinically, this condition involves delusional disorders and psychotic elements.

The narcissist no longer inhabits the external world. He is totally immersed in and a denizen of his own mind.

And he shuts himself off from the environment. He becomes a recluse.

And so in the schizoeth phase, when the narcissist self-supplies, his introjects and voices and internal objects are his audience and his public, and he can self-motify amazingly by failing at accomplishing something, by getting in touch with his own shame or with his own negative affectivity, early childhood artifacts, the outcomes of early childhood abuse and trauma, the narcissist then experiences modification.

It's as if he were exposing himself to his new audience, to his new public, which is himself.

So a narcissist, for example, can suddenly realize something about himself. He can suddenly gain unwanted, undesired insight about himself.

And this insight illuminates the narcissist's frailties, deficiencies, defects, problems and inadequacies.

And the narcissist then feels ashamed, feels humiliated in front of the introjects and the internal objects in his mind, which during the schizoeth self-supply phase he perceives as external public, a kind of audience, self-audience.

Now this process, this process of shaming oneself, humiliating oneself in front of oneself, this process is known or should be known as self-motification.

Of course, all of us sometimes are ashamed of ourselves. All of us sometimes interact with voices inside our heads, mother's voice, father's voice, a teacher's voice, a role model's voice. All of us interact with these voices and try to justify ourselves. All of us sometimes feel humiliated and ashamed when we realize that we've done something wrong. This is known as conscience. It's a cluster of introjects.

So this is not a new phenomenon, but in the case of the narcissist, because of his fragility, because of his vulnerability, and all narcissists are compensatory.

The narcissist, pathological narcissism, is a compensatory mechanism. It compensates for an innate sense of inferiority, inadequacy, known as the bad object.

So when you, as a healthy person, when you get in touch with your shame, with your conscience, when you castigate and chastise and criticize yourself for something you've done, this would usually yield behavior modification.

You would change your conduct. You would make decisions. You would make choices that would guarantee that this kind of shame would not recur, not happen again.

In short, in a healthy person, shame, negative affectivity, guilt, conscience, they lead to growth. They lead to personal development.

In the narcissist, shame and similar negative effects, envy and so on, they lead to disintegration. They lead to a process known as decompensation.

The narcissist defenses are deactivated. The narcissist is left face to face without any protection, any firewall, any partition, face to face with his primordial, atavistic, early childhood, profound shame, profound rage, profound envy, deep seething, unrequited.

The narcissist abreacts. The narcissist essentially falls apart and this is self-motification.

So it is possible for the narcissist to modify himself by acting in a way which he would consider or humiliating in front of the introjects or the internal objects in his mind.

Because remember, the narcissist cannot tell the difference between internal objects and external objects. He is exactly like the psychotic. He cannot tell the difference.

So as far as the narcissist is concerned, being shamed and humiliated in public, in front of external objects, real people out there is the same as being shamed and humiliated in front of internal objects.

So in the schizoid self-supplying phase, self-motification does happen sometimes.

The narcissist is aware of this risk, of this danger. So what he does, he stalks. He self-stalks. He stalks his internal objects. He internalizes stalking. It's a form of maintaining introject and object constancy by revisiting, by monitoring, by surveying, by micromaging, the galaxy of internal objects and introjects and voices in his head.

The narcissist is trying to make sure that these voices will not gang up on him, and cause him modification, and he also attempts to make sure via this self-stalking that these internal objects will not abandon him, will not suddenly evaporate or disappear or be rendered per secrator.

So he stalks his internal objects in order to maintain the constancy and quality of his introjects.

The borderline does the same, by the way. She stalks her internal objects, but she stalks her internal objects because the borderline has not introject constancy.

So she needs to revisit her internal objects to convince herself that they are still there. That's not the case with the narcissist.

Narcissist is very powerful, dominant, I would say, overwhelming introjects. That's not his problem. His problem is object constancy.

But when the introjects are the only objects, which is the case in the schizoid phase, when there isn't an external object to correspond with it, to correspond to the internal object, then the internal objects in the schizoid self-supplying phase become the only exclusive objects, and the narcissist treats them the way he would treat you as an intimate partner or a source of narcissistic supply.

Narcissist develops a relationship with his internal objects that resembles a relationship with an external object. So he would idealize the internal objects, he would revisit them, he would stalk them, he would maintain them, he would sometimes devalue them, etc., etc.

If he, when he reaches the stage of devaluation and discard and renders the internal object per secrator, that's when self-motification often happens. His desperate attempts to avoid this outcome are sometimes not successful.

All the stalking in the world and all the revisiting in the world and all the surveillance in the world, all this leads nowhere in some cases, and that's when the bad object is extremely powerful.

When the bad object is really, really domineering and really, really ubiquitous and pervasive, the narcissist's relationship with his internal objects will inevitably result in devaluation and discard and self-motification.

Narcissist goes through loops and cycles of relationships with external objects and with internal objects, as though there were no differences between them. Sometimes he interacts with you out there, external, separate, as an intimate partner, but make no mistake about it, he is actually interacting with your representation in his mind, with your avatar, with the icon in his brain that represents you.

And so it's very easy for him to transition from the real you out there to the you inside his head, the internal you, and to continue the relationship internally.

And of course, like every relationship, even if it is with an internal object, the cycle proceeds apace, idealization, devaluation, discard, and potentially, modification.

This is a narcissist's self-cycle, self-supply, self-stalking and self-motification, without having a self at all.

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Narcissist's Cognitive Deficits

Narcissists lack empathy and are unable to relate to others, instead withdrawing into a universe populated by avatars. They are incapable of holding an external dialogue and all their dialogues are completely internal. The narcissist attributes their failures and mistakes to circumstances and external causes, while regarding their successes and achievements as proofs of their own omnipotence and omniscience. The narcissist pays a dear price for these distortions of perception, developing paranoid ideation and fading the reality test.


WARNING: Don’t Join Narcissist’s Death Cult (Narcissist Forgets, Recalls You DAILY)

Narcissists perceive others as external objects, leading them to dissociate and forget about those individuals, viewing their autonomy and independence as threats. This process of forgetting and recalling creates a cycle of frustration and aggression, ultimately driving the narcissist to seek to eliminate the external object altogether. They aim to absorb the qualities of others by negating their individuality, often leading to metaphorical or real destruction. The narcissist embodies a death instinct, spreading emotional decay and draining the life force from those around them, resulting in a shared cycle of deterioration.


Discontinuous Narcissist: Fractured and Broken

The narcissist is a product of early abuse and trauma, leading to a world of unpredictability and arbitrary behavior. They deny their true self and nurture a false one, reinventing themselves as they see fit. The narcissist is adaptable, imitating and emulating others, and is best described as being and nothingness. Living with a narcissist is disorienting and problematic, as they have no past or future and occupy an eternal present. They do not keep agreements or adhere to laws and are inconsistent in their likes and dislikes.


How I Experience My False Self

Narcissism manifests as a false self that overtakes the individual, leading to a profound sense of emptiness and disconnection from one's true identity. This false self, initially created as a protective mechanism against trauma, ultimately consumes the individual, rendering them a mere observer of their own life. The struggle between the false self and the desire for authenticity creates a paradox where the individual seeks validation and love, yet feels fundamentally absent and incapable of genuine connection. The realization of this absence leads to a terrifying acceptance of a life lived in a shared fantasy, where true liberation seems unattainable.


Masked Narcissist: Private Vs. Public Personas

Narcissists do not possess a true self; instead, they are a collection of interchangeable masks that they wear in different contexts, both in private and public. These masks serve as a facade, concealing an underlying emptiness and lack of identity, which is a result of early childhood trauma and abuse. The narcissist's persona is rigid and inflexible, preventing genuine psychological development and leading to a reliance on external validation and attention from others. This inability to engage authentically in relationships results in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and a failure to connect meaningfully with others. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence is characterized by a constant performance, devoid of any real substance or self-awareness.


Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech

Narcissists communicate using a dual-layered approach, where the overt message conceals a hidden, manipulative intent designed to trigger emotional responses in their targets. This hidden message often employs techniques such as counterfactuality, victimhood, projection, and gaslighting, which distort reality and shift blame onto others. Effective communication with narcissists requires ignoring the hidden messages and, if possible, involving intermediaries to prevent emotional manipulation. Ultimately, understanding the nature of narcissistic communication can help individuals protect themselves from the psychological harm inflicted by these interactions.


How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.


Narcissists, Psychosis, Eternal Victims: Splitting the Inner Dialog

Narcissists often perceive themselves as perpetual victims due to a profound inner turmoil and a disrupted inner dialogue, which leads to confusion between internal and external objects. This turmoil is exacerbated by a primitive defense mechanism called splitting, where they categorize experiences and people as either entirely good or entirely bad, preventing them from integrating conflicting emotions. Recent studies suggest that this tendency for interpersonal victimhood is a stable personality trait linked to moral superiority, lack of empathy, a need for recognition, and rumination, indicating that many self-identified victims may actually exhibit narcissistic traits. Ultimately, the narcissist's sense of victimhood stems from their inability to reconcile their internal chaos, leading them to project their internal struggles onto others while avoiding the reality of their own emptiness.


Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


Why Narcissists are Best Actors, Thespians

Narcissists excel at acting because they genuinely believe in the identities they assume, stemming from a core emptiness that allows them to embody various characters effortlessly. They prefer fantasy over reality, using storytelling as a means to avoid confronting harsh truths, and their inflated self-perception makes them vulnerable to the realities that could deflate their constructed personas. Acting serves as a coping mechanism, allowing them to cater to both external audiences and their internal self-supply, while their performances often lack emotional depth, leading to a disconnection that others can sense. Ultimately, the narcissist's inability to maintain emotional investment results in superficial interactions, causing their facade to unravel over time.

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