Identify LIARS, LIES in Your Life

Uploaded 4/9/2023, approx. 9 minute read

It is a chilly Sunday and I am unkempt, disheveled and Geschlimt. Geschlimt is an ancient German word that I've just invented.

You know the Liars Paradox?

It's someone who tells you every single sentence I say is a lie.

Well, there are two options, of course.

Either he is telling the truth and then he is lying about lying all the time.

Or he has just lied and this sentence is true, which means that he always lies and this sentence is a lie.

So this is known as the Liars Paradox. It was invented in ancient Greece. I encourage you to go online and have a look.

It gave rise to numerous developments in mathematics, arithmetics, logical systems and so on and so forth.

Lies. This is today's topic.

There are 11 types of lies and this is the truth.

Well, you know what I mean.

Let's start with the first two types of pseudo lies or quasi lies.

I don't think these are actually lies.

I think there are only nine types of pure unadulterated lies.

And these two behaviors, which I'm about to expound on, masquerade as lying but they are actually not lying.

Let's start with gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a strategy.

It's a strategy intended to make you doubt your own perception of reality, on judgment.

It's premeditated, it's cunning, it's orchestrated, it's carried out mostly by psychopaths, not by narcissists, not by narcissists, my fellow pseudo experts, but by psychopaths.

Gaslighting is about disorienting you, disorientation, dislocation, inability to tell apart, internal and external reality, confusion as to what is really happening, an impairment of reality testing.

Gaslighting is the construction of alternative realities or an alternative reality, which on the face of it appears to be palatable, reasonable and voracious.

But in reality, it's not reality.

It's the psychopath's reality.

And the aim is to make you doubt yourself to the point that you will substitute the psychopath's judgment and perception of reality to your own.

This is gaslighting.

Gaslighting uses lies, leverages lying as one of the elements in the strategy, but it's not actually the dominant element.

Still, some of the types of lies that I'm about to describe are used in gaslighting.

Now, the second type of behavior known as confabulation is common in psychotic disorders and in narcissism, pathological narcissism, according to many scholars, starting with Könberg, according to many scholars, psychological narcissism is indistinguishable from psychosis or on the border, the verge of psychosis.

Confabulation is a desperate attempt to breach memory gaps and memory lapses.

Narcissists are highly dissociative.

They construct reasonable narratives as to what might have happened during the period that they failed to remember.

So they say to themselves, I remember point A and I remember point B, but how did I get from A to B?

Well, this must have happened.

And this is confabulation, construction of plausible narratives, plausible storylines and scripts, which somehow flimsily bridge gaps in memory.

Now, confabulation is not lying. There is no premeditation here. There's no planning. There's no construction of an alternative reality.

There's simply extrapolation. There's simply saying, well, I remember hitting the ball and then I remember the ball entering the golf. So I remember A and I remember B, what must have happened in the meantime, the ball traversed the air. I remember walking to my club and I remember exiting my club. I don't remember what had happened in between and so I must have sat there, drank, had some drinks and read the newspapers or surfed the internet on my smartphone. This is what I usually do when I go to the club. So this must have happened on that occasion as well.

This is confabulation. Confabulation, therefore, is not lying. Although many people misperceive it as lying, that's why narcissists are accused of lying.

Narcissists actually very rarely lie.

They either confabulate or they create a fantasy in which they are emotionally invested and which they fully believe. They believe their own fantasies. They believe their own daydreaming. They believe their own confabulations.

Narcissists are no longer with us. They have a fantasy defense gone awry or eye. They're taken over by a dreamlike state.

So narcissistic fantasy, shared fantasy, they're not forms of lying. Narcissists do not future fake, psychopaths future fake. Narcissists believe their own promises about the future. They are firmly ensconced in their fantasy. They say this is going to happen. This is going to happen for sure. I'm going to do it a million percent. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm committed to this course of action.

Psychopath, of course, knowingly and intentionally, misleads you.

Psychopath is goal-oriented. He wants something from you. So he fakes the future. He wants your money, for example. He tells you he's going to marry because he wants your money. Or he wants to have sex with you. So he promises you a relationship. He's goal-oriented.

And because of the goal orientation, everything he does is Machiavellian and cunning and skimming.

The narcissist is simply deluded, deluded beyond reason and beyond measure. He inhabits a paracosm, a fantastic space that is akin to augmented or alternative reality. And he firmly believes the narcissist that he is really there and that you belong there as well.

So there's no lying when it comes to...

Well, of course, everyone lies, but there's no lying as a strategy when it comes to narcissists.

In addition to this, there are nine types of lies that all of us, without a single exception, engage in in daily life.

And here are the nine types.

Number one, utilitarian lie. That's a lie that is intended to accomplish something.

A lie that is goal-oriented, a lie whose structure and content are planned to promote or inspire changes conducive to the furtherance of the liar's aims and aspirations.

Instrumental utilitarian lies.

The next type is the smokescreen lie, a lie whose purpose is to obscure, conceal, hide or remove true information.

And this way mislead other people.

This is common in the military, in espionage, in commando operations. smokescreen lies are intended to avoid facing, humiliating, shameful or dangerous truth.

Number three, the compassionate lie, a lie that is geared towards sparing other people's feelings, catering to other people's sensitivities and vulnerabilities and allowing other people to save face and to avoid shame and embarrassment.

Most white lies are compassionate and empathic.

Number four, the ceremonial lie. Lies and dissimulations whose function is to establish a hierarchy, a pecking order by demonstrating reverence and glossing over facts and behaviors that inconveniently contravene the accepted hierarchy.

Manners etiquette these highly elaborate forms of ceremonial lying.

Number five, the compensatory lie, lies that are used in order to disguise the often humiliating fact that we do not know the truth or cannot remember it. Lies of this type amount to fiction, but with most of the interlocutors being unaware of it.

Number six, the confabulatory lie. These are intricate lies that weave a fabric of alternate reality, which is frequently an exaggerated form of the liar's traits, conduct and personal history.

Though of course, confabulatory lies can be completely unrelated to anything real in the confabulator's lie.

Number seven, the inferential lie. These are fallacious conclusions for extrapolations based on true assumptions of statements.

Most logical fallacies are inferential lies. And finally, the hybrid lie.

Hybrid lies contain markers of an occult hidden truth or pathways to true information. They allow the recipients to read between the lines.

People in communist countries used to do it when they were consuming the official media. And today when you consume mainstream media, you will tend to do this.

Hybrid lies are common in authoritarian and totalitarian regimes or when there is a monopoly of groupthink and individuals are not allowed to think for themselves. Pathological lying is a pernicious phenomenon, regrettably all too common.

We need to accept that with the emergence of mass media and especially social media, lying has been legitimized as a form of art.

And so maybe we need to add a ninth type of lie, the artistic lie, the self-fashioning lie, the self-reinvention lie, the "I wish I were like that" lie, the fantasy type lie, the lies that are common on social media, lies which reflect, suppress wishes, frustrations, hopes, and the sadness and tragedy of coming short.

Thank you.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

How To Tell If Someone Is A Pathological Liar

Pathological lying is a compulsive behavior that is not goal-oriented and has no purpose. Pathological liars weave elaborate and extensive lies that are self-destructive and self-defeating. They are emotionally invested in the act of lying and create an environment that is conducive to their subjective well-being. Pathological lying is not a symptom of any other mental illness and is a long-term problem. There are eight types of lies, including utilitarian, smokescreen, compassionate, ceremonial, compensatory, confabulatory, inferential, and hybrid lies.

Love Your Narcissist? Make Him Stay, Depend on You (Tips, Resolutions)

In a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to know what not to do and what to do to maintain the relationship. Avoid disagreeing, contradicting, or criticizing the narcissist, and never offer intimacy or challenge their self-image. To make the narcissist dependent on you, listen attentively, agree with everything they say, offer something unique, be patient, and be emotionally and financially independent. It is also crucial to know yourself and set personal boundaries, treating yourself with dignity and demanding respect from others. If the relationship becomes abusive, consider going no-contact and ending the relationship for your own well-being.

Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps

To move on from being a victim of narcissistic abuse, one must abandon the narcissist and move on. Moving on is a process that involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, learning from the experience, and deciding to act. It is important to grieve and mourn the loss of trust and love, but perpetual grieving is counterproductive. Forgiveness is important, but it should not be a universal behavior. Human relationships are dynamic and require constant assessment. It is not advisable to remain friends with narcissists, as they are only nice and friendly when they want something. Inverted narcissists who remain in relationships with narcissists are victims who deny their own torment and fail to make the transition to survivors.

Destroy the Narcissist in Court: Divorce, Custody, and Aftermath

In summary, to effectively handle a narcissist in court during divorce and custody proceedings, it is crucial to remain calm, composed, and fact-based. Focus on exposing the narcissist's grandiosity and vulnerabilities by challenging their self-perception and accomplishments, while avoiding appearing vengeful or malicious. Provoke the narcissist indirectly by hinting at their shortcomings and mediocrity, ultimately leading them to lose control and expose their true nature. Maintain a holistic strategy that takes into account both the legal aspects and the narcissist's off-court life.

Victim of Narcissist: Move On!

The narcissist lives in a world of ideal beauty, achievements, wealth, and success, denying his reality. The partner is perceived as a source of narcissistic supply, and the narcissist pathologizes and devalues them to rid themselves of guilt and shame. Moving on from a narcissistic relationship involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, educating oneself, and gaining emotional sustenance, knowledge, support, and confidence. Forgiving is important, but it should not be a universal behavior, and no one should stay with a narcissist.

Narcissist: Confabulations, Lies

Confabulation is a common human trait, but the distinction between reality and fantasy is never lost. However, the narcissist's very self is a piece of fiction, concocted to fend off hurt and pain and to nurture the narcissist's grandiosity. The narcissist fails in his reality test and is unable to distinguish the actual from the imagined, the real from the fantasized. The narcissist's countenance, no disagreement, no alternative points of view, no criticism. To him, his confabulation is reality.

Narcissist: Confabulates, Gaslights, Or Lies?

Narcissists often make you doubt your sanity and perception of reality, but this is not gaslighting. Narcissists confabulate, creating false memories to bridge gaps in their memory, but they believe these fabrications are true and are not consciously trying to deceive others. Confabulation is a way for narcissists to maintain their grandiosity and protect themselves from the realization of their imperfections. It also helps them reconcile their internal and external worlds and allocate roles to people in their lives within the shared fantasy. Confabulation is a critical psychodynamic function in the economy of the narcissist's mind.

Narcissist's Insignificant Other: Typical Spouse or Intimate Partner

Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, but it is always onerous and often harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist, maintaining a relationship, preserving it, insisting on remaining with a narcissist, indicates therefore the parameters of the personality of the victim, of the partner, of the spouse. The partner, the spouse, and the mate of a narcissist who insists on remaining in the relationship and preserving it is molded by it into the typical narcissistic mate, spouse, or partner. The two, the narcissist and his spouse, collaborate in this dance macabre.

Giving Narcissist Second Chance

Narcissists do not provide closure in relationships and will stalk, cajole, beg, promise, persuade, and ultimately succeed in doing the impossible to get you back. The narcissist will cast all interactions with you in terms of conflicts or competitions to be won. If you have resumed contact because you are manifestly dependent on the narcissist financially or emotionally, the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and exploit your fragility to the maximum. Ultimately, the narcissist will write the inevitable cycle of idealization and devaluation.

Money: Narcissist's License to Abuse

Money is a love substitute for the narcissist, allowing them to be their corrupt selves and buy absolution, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is a license to sin and a permit to be unmitigated self. Money liberates the mind of the narcissist, allowing them to concentrate on attaining the desired position on top. The narcissist is addicted to money because it is the freedom not to behave in a way that is unbearable to them in the long run.

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