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If You Love a Narcissist, This is For You

Uploaded 8/7/2020, approx. 3 minute read

He is handsome, yet he is dead. His eyes are twin, infinite, dark tunnels, tunnels leading to the netherworld of his void, his emptiness, the howling winds in the corridors that lead to nothing but a hole of mirrors, reflection upon reflection, and you in there reflection as well.

And the twinkle in his irises, that is also a reflection, a reflection of your tears, and his smile ruptures his face, tears your heart apart, and you are reduced to smithereens, a frozen, grimaced scream in a surrealistic nightmare that once used to be a dream, as you recall, ever so vaguely.

He is an absence, he is chaos, he is unadulterated anguish, he is your shattered fantasy, he is your shattered life. He craves love, he craves intimacy, oh so he says, but then he pushes you away, enraged by your presumptuousness in offering him both.

And he fears hurt, he dreads pain and rejection and abandonment, and so he hurts you first. He busts in your agony and in your writhing, writhing, writhing.

He preemptively rejects and abandons you, renders you transparent, ethereal, less and less real by the minute, and you dissolve, and you dissolve in his distracted, faraway gaze, as he contemplates your insignificance, and your heart is broken, and your mind is splintered.

You shrivel like a plant as you inhale the toxic fumes of his non-being, his despondent and hopeless darkness, a miasmatic emanation, a life rejected, a night without dawn in his sunless, arctic days, in his cancer, circle of cancer.

And so frozen, frozen to your bones, to your marrow, to your essence, you shiver involuntarily and uncontrollably, his tremors, his earthquake in you, the aftershocks.

And the relationship with him, you know, you know it well, is a form of self-harm, self-mutilation, and yet, and yet, you cannot let go. He is death. He is demise by a thousand invisible paper cuts, and you are become eruptive, infuriated scar tissue.

You are a wound where a person used to exist.

Sometimes, and that's the reason that you're staying, sometimes he is an ephemeral little child, hearing lacrimos from behind the wall of torment that passes for his soul.

One eye, one eye behind the corner, the corner of your relationship.

Sometimes, sometimes, beautiful times, precious times, he is all hugs, all tender need, cuddling, and tucking in, and cheeks, and laughs, and the good times, and the good times of apparent love, and you fall for it, you want it so badly.

He wants it so badly.

So, you both acquiesce, and you both cooperate, and you both collaborate, and you both collude in this conspiracy, and it's not a theory.

And then he's gone. This moment recedes, remits, reverts, relapses. It's a shape-shifting and pregnant cloud behind the event horizon of his devouring black hole.

And he is penumbral. He is fleeting, he is an apparition, a remembrance of things past, the crumbling sepia dust of what could have been, the promise unkempt, unkempt.

It's an eerie, disembodied, dismembered dance, the music wafting, your former selves entwined.

And on and on you go, as the night wears thin, and the day refuses to embark.

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Narcissist's Insignificant Other: Typical Spouse or Intimate Partner

Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, but it is always onerous and often harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist, maintaining a relationship, preserving it, insisting on remaining with a narcissist, indicates therefore the parameters of the personality of the victim, of the partner, of the spouse. The partner, the spouse, and the mate of a narcissist who insists on remaining in the relationship and preserving it is molded by it into the typical narcissistic mate, spouse, or partner. The two, the narcissist and his spouse, collaborate in this dance macabre.


Love Your Narcissist? Make Him Stay, Depend on You (Tips, Resolutions)

In a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to know what not to do and what to do to maintain the relationship. Avoid disagreeing, contradicting, or criticizing the narcissist, and never offer intimacy or challenge their self-image. To make the narcissist dependent on you, listen attentively, agree with everything they say, offer something unique, be patient, and be emotionally and financially independent. It is also crucial to know yourself and set personal boundaries, treating yourself with dignity and demanding respect from others. If the relationship becomes abusive, consider going no-contact and ending the relationship for your own well-being.


Victim of Narcissist: Move On!

The narcissist lives in a world of ideal beauty, achievements, wealth, and success, denying his reality. The partner is perceived as a source of narcissistic supply, and the narcissist pathologizes and devalues them to rid themselves of guilt and shame. Moving on from a narcissistic relationship involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, educating oneself, and gaining emotional sustenance, knowledge, support, and confidence. Forgiving is important, but it should not be a universal behavior, and no one should stay with a narcissist.


Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps

To move on from being a victim of narcissistic abuse, one must abandon the narcissist and move on. Moving on is a process that involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, learning from the experience, and deciding to act. It is important to grieve and mourn the loss of trust and love, but perpetual grieving is counterproductive. Forgiveness is important, but it should not be a universal behavior. Human relationships are dynamic and require constant assessment. It is not advisable to remain friends with narcissists, as they are only nice and friendly when they want something. Inverted narcissists who remain in relationships with narcissists are victims who deny their own torment and fail to make the transition to survivors.


Pedophile Narcissist: Narcissism, Pedophilia, and Hebephilia

Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children and come from all walks of life. They have no common socioeconomic background, and most have not been sexually abused in childhood. Pedophiles are drawn to what children symbolize, such as innocence and trust, and they view their relationships with children in a peculiar light. Pedophilia is a culture-bound syndrome, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is considering rendering hebephilia as a subtype of pedophilia.


False Hope of Hot and Cold: Intermittent Reinforcement, Trauma Bonding, Approach-Avoidance

Intermittent reinforcement is a pervasive phenomenon that involves two or more people, and it is not always abusive or dysfunctional. It involves regular signals, messages, and treatment that are cruel, abusive, and disempathic, interspersed with displays of extreme affection. Intermittent reinforcement can be attributed to four types of schedules: fixed interval, variable interval, fixed ratio, and variable ratio. These behaviors wear down the victim and make them more amenable to manipulation, which is the idea behind intermittent reinforcement.


Fear of Intimacy Rationalized

People who fear intimacy have a phobia of exposing their vulnerabilities and committing to a long-term relationship. This fear is rooted in a deep distrust of the world and other people. They tend to devalue their intimate partner and imagine negative scenarios for the future. Fear of intimacy is a form of diffuse anxiety that causes people to withdraw and avoid intimate relationships. It is a cycle that can never be broken or interrupted, leading to a never-ending chase that never culminates in a happy ending.


Bullies: Intermittent Reinforcement and Sex Withholding

Intermittent reinforcement is a tool used by bullies, which is rarely conscious and often unintentional. Most bullies are not self-aware and deny that they are bullies, instead claiming to be victims. Withholding sex is a strategy used by bullies, who often make excuses for their behaviour and refuse to acknowledge the problem. The bully rejects their partner, humiliates them, and isolates them to render them incapable of finding an alternative.


Narcissist, Pedophilia, Hebephilia and The Invented Child (ENGLISH responses)

Pedophiles are not only attracted to children, with a majority being heterosexual and having families of their own. The drive to have sex with children is ancient and until recently was codified in the law. The concept of childhood is a new concept, and as it was invented, prohibitions on certain interactions with children were introduced. The risk of incest and active pedophilia is much higher with narcissists and psychopaths, and inappropriate behavior with children must be aggressively defended against with these individuals.


TIPS: When Your Children Are Flying Monkeys (Parental Alienation)

The text discusses the manipulation and abuse of children by narcissistic parents, who use them as tools to inflict trauma and pain on the other parent. It explains how the abuser recruits and controls the children, and the long-term effects of such abuse on the children. The text also provides advice on how to behave and what to do in such situations, emphasizing the importance of being a positive role model for the children and trusting them to make the right choices as they grow up.

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