It Hurts to Move On, Healing is Painful | Vaknin Talks

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Back with Sam Vaknin in his TikTok garden, the only place you never want to be, but you're still here, inexorably attracted by my Picardieous.

I am your favorite blue professor of psychology and the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism, Revisited and many other unmentionable tomes of deep erudition and insurmountable sagacity.

Yes, I love $10 words.

The only thing I love more than $10 words are $10.

This is old daddy jokes. Only old daddies can get them.

Okay, Shoshanim, Shvanpanim and baby seals. We all believeor are led to believe by the self-help industry that attending therapy or reading self-help books is going to transform your life.

And sometimes it does, but you should know the following.

Acts of self-love and healing are always painful. They always agonize it.

Getting rid of toxic but addictive people, posing discipline, goals and structure on dissolute and carefree lives, saying no to temptations and seductions, gaining insights into your shortcomings, self-inflicted wounds and failures, confronting trauma and abuse, investing hard work in introspection and therapy. These are arduous tasks. They're not pleasant. It's not a joy, right? You're going to suffer. Suffering is the coinage of healing. You're going to suffer and then you're going to heal.

There's no shortcut. There's no way around this.

You have been forewarned.

Now get to work.-

Thank you.

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