Background

Lonely, Schizoid Narcissist

Uploaded 9/23/2012, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Narcissistic personality disorder is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders, such as borderline, histrionic or antisocial psychopathic personality disorder. And this phenomenon is called co-morbidity.

Narcissism is often also accompanied by substance abuse and other reckless and impulsive behaviors, and this we call dual diagnosis.

There is one curious match, one logic-defying appearance or co-appearance of mental health disorders, narcissism, together with schizoid personality disorder.

The basic dynamic of this improbable duo of this particular brand of co-morbidity goes like this.

The narcissist feels superior, unique and titled and better than his fellow men. He thus tends to despise people, to hold them in contempt and to regard them as lowly, inferior and subservient beings.

The narcissist feels that his time is invaluable, his mission of cosmic importance, his contributions to humanity priceless.

The narcissist therefore demands total obedience and catering to his ever-changing and ever-increasing list of needs. Any demands on the narcissist's time and resources is deemed to be both humiliating and wasteful.

But the narcissist, for all his braggadocio and swagger, the narcissist is dependent on input from other people for the performance of certain ego functions.

For instance, the narcissist needs other people to tell you that he's perfect, brilliant, unique, special, etc. to regulate his sense of self-worth. Without narcissistic supply, without adulation, adoration, admiration, attention, the narcissist shrivels with us and becomes dysphoric, depressed.

The narcissist resents this dependence. He is furious at himself for his neediness and in typical narcissistic fashion and maneuver, he blames other people for his own anger and his own dependence on their narcissistic supply.

He displaces his rage and his truths.

Many narcissists are paranoid. This means that they're afraid of people and what people might do to them.

Consider this. Wouldn't you be scared and paranoid if your very life depended continually on the goodwill of others? You would.

And so is the narcissist. The narcissist's very life depends on other people providing him with narcissistic supply day in and day out, minute in and minute out.

The narcissist becomes suicidal if other peoplestop providing him with supply.

And to encounter this overwhelming sense of helplessness, this all-devouring dependence on narcissistic supply, the narcissist becomes a control freak.

The narcissist sadistically manipulates other people to do his bidding and to cater to his needs. He drives pleasure and derives pleasure from the utter subjugation of his human environment.

Finally, the narcissist is also a latent masochist. The narcissist seeks punishment, instigation, and excommunication.

And this self-destruction, this strand of self-defeating behaviors, is the only way to validate powerful voices that he had internalized as a child.

Voices that keep telling him, you're bad, you're rotten, you're worthless, you're hopeless.

As you can easily see, the narcissistic landscape is fraught with contradictions.

The narcissist depends on people, but hates and despises them. He wants to control people unconditionally, but is also looking to punish himself savagery.

He is terrified of persecution, persecutory delusions, but he seeks the company of his own persecutors compulsively.

The narcissist is a victim of incompatible inner dynamics, ruled by numerous vicious circles, pushed and pulled simultaneously by irresistible forces.

A minority of narcissists, therefore, choose the schizoid solution. They choose to disengage, to detach both emotionally and socially. They withdraw behind the ramparts. They pull back the drawbridge. They vanish.

In isolation, their fantasy life develops. The delusions increase until they are completely consumed.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Schizoid and Paranoid Narcissist

Narcissistic personality disorder is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders, other personality disorders such as borderline, histrionic or antisocial. This phenomenon of multiple diagnosis in the same patient is called co-morbidity. Narcissists are often paranoid and some of them are schizoid. The narcissist depends on people, but hates them and despises them. A minority of narcissists choose the schizoid solution.


Your Empathy as Narcissistic Injury: Narcissist Never Learns, No Insight

Narcissists reject empathy and intimacy because it challenges their grandiosity, and they become paranoid and aggressive when someone tries to be intimate with them. Narcissists lack empathy and access to positive emotions, leading to a truncated version of empathy called "cold empathy." Narcissists are self-aware but lack the incentive to get rid of their narcissism, and therapy is more focused on accommodating the needs of the narcissist's nearest and dearest. Cold Therapy is experimental and limited, as it removes the false self but does not develop empathy or improve the narcissist's interpersonal relationships.


Narcissistic Women vs. Borderline Women vs. Narcissistic Men

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between men and women when it comes to personality disorders. He states that there is little difference between male and female narcissists in terms of their psychodynamics, but their behaviors may differ due to societal and cultural expectations. Within the same diagnosis, the variation between men and women is low, but the variation between diagnoses is much higher. Vaknin also notes that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) is gender-neutral in its language, but some claims within it can be seen as sexist.


Schizoid Narcissist Is Not Covert Narcissist

Atypical presentations of narcissism can complicate diagnosis, particularly with the schizoid narcissist, who exhibits traits that may lead to misdiagnosis as avoidant or covert narcissists. Schizoid narcissists often avoid social interactions and lack emotional reactivity, distinguishing them from covert narcissists who may still experience negative emotions and create ideologies around their social aversion. Their sexual behavior is also markedly different; while classic and covert narcissists may use sex as a tool for supply, schizoid narcissists are often asexual or find sex unpleasurable, viewing it as a chore rather than a source of gratification. The internal conflict between the narcissistic need for supply and the schizoid desire for solitude creates complex relational dynamics, leading to approach-avoidance behaviors that can confuse those around them.


Can You Diagnose Your Narcissist?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can only be diagnosed by qualified mental health professionals using the criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Many people incorrectly label others as narcissists based on personal experiences or traits, which can lead to misunderstandings about the disorder. Key characteristics of narcissists include a sense of grandiosity, a need for excessive admiration, entitlement, lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit others. It is important to refrain from diagnosing or labeling individuals without proper qualifications, as this can perpetuate misconceptions about mental health disorders.


Narcissists Who Forgive, Communal Psychopaths

Self-proclaimed experts on narcissism and psychopathy are spreading misinformation online, according to Professor Sam Vaknin. One of the most common falsehoods is that all psychopaths are narcissists, which is not true. While the two conditions share some traits, they are not the same. Vaknin also cited a study that found many narcissists are forgiving, which contradicts the idea that they are merciless and vindictive. He advised people to look for information from recognised experts in the field.


Female Narcissists on a Spectrum/Continuum? (Read ICD-11 PINNED COMMENT)

There is no psychological difference between male and female narcissists; any observed behavioral differences are culturally influenced rather than indicative of distinct psychological profiles. Narcissistic personality disorder is a binary diagnosis, meaning one either has it or does not, and there is no spectrum for the disorder itself, although narcissistic traits can exist on a spectrum. The prevalence of narcissistic personality disorder is low, contrary to claims that suggest a high incidence among the general population. Distinctions should be made between clinical diagnoses and subclinical traits, as well as between narcissistic style and narcissistic personality disorder.


Simple Trick: Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline

Narcissists maintain one stable aspect of their lives, referred to as an "island of stability," while the rest of their existence is chaotic and disordered, leading to misconceptions about their character. In contrast, psychopaths lack any stable elements in their lives, resulting in pervasive instability across all dimensions. There are two types of narcissists: those who create compensatory stability by stabilizing one area of their life while everything else is chaotic, and those who enhance instability by introducing chaos into all aspects of their lives when one area is disrupted. The distinction between narcissists and psychopaths lies in their emotional engagement and the presence of stability, with narcissists relying on external validation while psychopaths operate without emotional depth or continuity.


DSM V Gets Narcissistic Personality Disorder Partly Right

The DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder include impairments in personality functioning, both self and interpersonal, and the presence of pathological personality traits. The impairments in self-functioning include identity and self-direction, while the impairments in interpersonal functioning include empathy and intimacy. The DSM-5 also focuses on pathological personality traits of the narcissist, which are characterized by antagonism, grandiosity, and attention-seeking. The diagnostic criteria should be stable across time, consistent across situations, and not solely due to direct physiological effects of a substance or general medical condition.


Bipolar Disorder Misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

The manic phase of bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder due to the similarities in symptoms. However, the manic phase of bipolar disorder is limited in time and followed by a depressive episode, whereas narcissistic personality disorder is not. The source of the bipolar patient's mood swings is brain biochemistry, not the availability or lack of availability of narcissistic supply. Additionally, the bipolar patient is dysfunctional, while the narcissist is functional.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy