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Narcissist Hedges His Bets

Uploaded 4/25/2013, approx. 5 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Is the narcissist confined in his grandiose fantasies to one subject, one topic, one area or field of life?

The answer is more complex than you would imagine.

The narcissist is bound to make use of his more pronounced traits and qualities in both the design of his false self and in the extraction of narcissistic supply from other people.

So much is true.

A cerebral narcissist is likely to emphasize his intelligence, his brain power, his analytical skills and his reach, and very fond of knowledge.

The somatic narcissist accentuates his body, his physical strength, his appearance, his sex appeal or sexual prowess, and so on and so forth.

But this concentration on forties is only one facet of the answer.

It seems that narcissists engage in what could best be described as narcissistic hedges.

They hedge their best.

The narcissistic hedge is when a narcissist colors more than one field of activity with his narcissistic hues.

A narcissist infuses selected subjects, topics, areas, people with narcissistic investments. We call it cathexis.

He prepares these fields, areas, topics and people as auxiliary sources of narcissistic supply and as backup options in case of a systems failure.

Another type of narcissistic hedge involves a charm offensive that is intended to forestall or ameliorate the consequences of the disclosure of embarrassing, demeaning or damaging information about the narcissist and his misconduct.

This charm offensive reacquires the source of narcissistic supply that is most likely to be disenchanted and disillusioned by such revelations.

These ostensibly redundant activities and interests constitute a fallback option during a life crisis.

The majority of cases, the chosen subjects or fields all belong to the same family.

A cerebral narcissist might select mathematics in art, but not mountain climbing. A sportsman might choose to be a radio sports commentator, but not a philosopher of science and so on.

Still, the correlation between the various selections the narcissist makes may not be very strong, which is why they can be used as hedges.

Experience shows that this hedging mechanism is not very effective.

Narcissists' response to events in his life is one single rigid unit. His reactions are not differentiated or scaled or graduated. A failure or a success in one domain contagiously spreads to all the other fields of activity.

The narcissistic contagion effect dominates the narcissist's life in its entirety.

The narcissist measures his personal history in terms of fluctuations in narcissistic supply.

He is blind to all other aspects, angles and points of view. He is like a thermometer which reacts to human warmth, admiration, adoration, approval, applause, affirmation and attention.

The narcissist perceives his life in gradations of narcissistic temperature, therefore.

When a source of supply ceases to exist or is threatened or is diminished, all the other parts of the narcissist's world, including these backup options, are affected.

The chill sets in. The dysphoric and euphoric moods which are related to the absence or the presence of narcissistic supply engulf the entire personality and consume the narcissist's life.

A case study to illustrate these economic principles of the narcissist's soul might be helpful.

Imagine a narcissist who has a successful career as an economic commentator in several mass media.

As a result of his criticism of the policies of the government, he is threatened and there are signs that a book that he is about to publish will not be published after all.

A narcissist has other subjects from which he is able to derive narcissistic supply and these are, of course, the narcissistic hedges aforementioned.

What would the likely reaction of such a narcissist be, therefore?

Being threatened, in this case by the government, endangers these narcissist's feelings of omnipotence and superiority. He is reduced to size or cut down to size.

The special treatment that he believed himself to be entitled to is all but an operating.

And this is a major narcissistic injury. Worse, it looks as if the very availability and existence of its main and serious narcissistic supply sources, in this case, the mass media, the publishing of the book, these sources are at risk.

And so, dysphoria, kind of mild depression ensues.

The narcissist counters the situation hysterically and with paranoia.

The paranoid straits in his reaction serve to re-establish the perturbed balance of his own grandiosity.

Only important people are persecuted. He soothes himself.

The hysteria is the result of panic at the prospect of remaining bereft of narcissistic supply sources and drag addict would have reacted the same way to the arrest of his pusher.

In theory, this would be the perfect time to revert to the alternatives, to the hedges.

But the narcissist energy is too depleted to make this switch.

He is depressed. He is dysphoric. He is unhand only.

In extreme cases, he even entertains through his civil ideation. He jumps to radical and sweeping conclusions.

He says to himself, if this happened to me once, it could well happen again.

His output and achievements deteriorate. As a result, his narcissistic supply is further reduced and a vicious circle is set in motion.

And this is the absurdity of the narcissistic mental household.

The hedges brought into play only when they are not needed.

Once a crisis erupts, the violently reduced narcissist, a faltering shadow of his former false self, is too depleted to make use of the narcissistic hedges that he has created in the first place for exactly such a situation of emergency.

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Narcissists require attention and narcissistic supply, and when they cannot obtain it, they may experience decompensation, which can lead to acting out in various ways. Narcissists may resort to several adaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, passive-aggressive behavior, paranoid narratives, and masochistic avoidance. These behaviors are all self-generated sources of narcissistic supply. Masochistic narcissists may direct their fury inwards, punishing themselves for their failure to elicit supply, and this behavior has the added benefit of forcing those closest to them to pay attention to them.


Narcissist Grooms Sources of Narcissistic Supply: Exploits Tragedy, Crisis, and Misfortune

Narcissists are callous and ruthless enough to exploit the tragedy of others. They are obsessed with the maintenance of their delicate inner balance through the ever-increasing consumption of narcissistic supply. The narcissist regards and treats his sources of narcissistic supply as full-fledged human beings, but only as long as they can provide him with what he needs. The narcissist always evaluates the victims of tragedies to see if they can become sources of supply or can be used as props in the theater of his life.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Recluse Narcissist

Narcissists do not have friends in the usual sense of the word, as they are only interested in securing the provision of narcissistic supply from others. They overvalue people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, but discard them nonchalantly when they are no longer able or willing to supply them. The narcissist's behavior, choices, acts, attitudes, beliefs, interests, and life are curtailed by their sensitivity to outside opinion, and they avoid situations where they are likely to encounter opposition, criticism, or competition. The fear of flying is at the heart of narcissism.


Narcissist Re-idealizes Discarded Sources of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists maintain discarded sources of supply in a mental reserve and may seek them out when other options are unavailable, attempting to recycle these sources for validation. To reconnect with a devalued source, they must re-idealize it without admitting past mistakes, creating a narrative that reconciles their previous devaluation with the new idealized view. Old sources of supply should remain indifferent to the narcissist's attempts to reconnect, as this indifference is intolerable to them and deprives them of the attention they crave. Ultimately, narcissists view everyone as potential sources of supply, even enemies, as any emotional response, positive or negative, serves to validate their existence.


Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.


Remain Friends with the Narcissist?

Narcissists are only friendly when they need something from you, such as narcissistic supply, help, support, votes, money, or sex. They also become friendly when they feel threatened and want to smother the threat with pleasantries. Narcissists are also over-friendly when they have just been infused with an overdose of narcissistic supply. Some people prefer to live with narcissists because they have been conditioned to treat narcissistic abuse as background noise and are compensated for the abuse by the thrills provided by living with a narcissist. However, inverted narcissists are typically unhappy and in need of help, which suggests that they are victims who experience the Stockholm Syndrome.


Narcissist's Objects and Possessions

Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic supply, and the narcissist often compares people to the inanimate. Narcissists collect proofs and trophies of their sexual prowess, dramatic talent, past wealth, or intellectual achievements, and these objects operate through the mechanism of narcissistic branding. The narcissist is a pathogen who transforms his human and non-human environment alike, objectifying people and anthropomorphizing objects to optimize or maximize narcissistic supply.


Narcissistic Supply: Narcissist's Drug

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that individuals, particularly narcissists, seek from their environment to maintain their self-worth and self-esteem. Unlike normal individuals who can tolerate a moderate amount of attention, narcissists are insatiable and manipulate others to provide them with constant validation through a fabricated persona known as the false self. This supply can be categorized into primary narcissistic supply, which includes any form of attention, and secondary narcissistic supply, which encompasses aspects of a stable and successful life. The narcissist conditions those around them to fulfill specific roles that cater to their need for validation, effectively creating a pathological space where they feel secure and valued.


Narcissist Dreads Change, Uses Sex to Reduce Anxiety

Narcissists are change-averse due to their belief that they already know everything and their lack of curiosity about themselves and others. They also confuse their internal and external environments, leading to a fear that any change in the external environment will result in self-destruction. To reduce anxiety, narcissists engage in unusual psychosexuality and seek intimate partners to legitimize their sexual preferences. As society becomes more narcissistic, these behaviors become more prevalent, especially among women who conform to male stereotypes to gain attention and validation.

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