Narcissist: Traumatized Child and Victim (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)

Uploaded 1/20/2020, approx. 2 minute read

How do you know who is a real narcissist?

The one who had some traumas in the childhood, or someone who developed later on in their life?

We have two types of narcissism. There is a narcissism that is a reaction to early childhood trauma, and it is a post-traumatic condition.

My recent work is that I am attempting to reframe narcissism. It is actually not a personality disorder at all, it is a post-traumatic condition.

So there is post-traumatic narcissism, which is by far the most common type.

And then, given highly specific life circumstances, for example becoming a celebrity, on these highly specific life circumstances you can develop something called acquired situational narcissism.

Acquired situational narcissism was first described by a professor in Harvard, Millman, and Millman studied rockstars. He discovered that rockstars become narcissistic, they haven't been narcissistic before, but the fact that they are rockstars made them narcissistic.

So yes, you can acquire late onset narcissism, depending on your circumstances. But this kind of narcissism is more transient, we hope, we don't know yet. We think that it's more transient and it recedes when the circumstances change. We are not sure yet. It's a speculation.

The victim's narcissism, for example, is acquired situational narcissism. Circumstances create narcissism, which is indistinguishable from normal narcissism, from regular narcissism, but it's different because of the etiology, because of how the reason why it was created, the reason for its creation.

Narcissism is a defense. It was first described by Sigmund Freud in 1914 as a psychological defense mechanism, and it is the narcissistic defense.

Later on, scholars like Melanie Klein and Winnicott and Bleuler and others, they all describe narcissism as a kind of defense. It could be a defense against many things. Each one thinks it's a defense against something else, but it's still a defense.

So, of course, a victim exposed to constant attack, constant abuse, constant negation, invitiation, constant criticism, a victim's narcissistic defenses would also be activated, normally, because everyone has healthy narcissism.

So the defenses are activated.

If the defenses of the victim are activated on a regular basis, the victim becomes a narcissist, technically. The narcissist is a person whose narcissistic defenses are constantly activated because of early childhood trauma.

If the victim's defenses are constantly activated, then the victim is indistinguishable from the narcissist. We even have documented situations where victims become psychopaths and are indistinguishable from psychopaths.

And today we think that CPTSD, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, which is indistinguishable, which is the outcome, I'm sorry, of prolonged narcissistic abuse, the orthodoxy, what we teach in schools and so on, is that it is exact equivalent to borderline personality disorder.

So, victims who develop CPTSD become effectively borderlines, and they have dysregulated emotions, liability, abandonment, anxiety, and so on and so forth.

Now, one of the major dimensions of borderline is narcissism, of course. We diagnose borderline, the tests have a segment which is about narcissism. All borderlines are narcissistic.

So, here's another example where CPTSD is the same like borderline and borderline to a very large degree.

It's the same like narcissism. So, narcissism is contagious. It spreads like infectious disease.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Signs You are Victim of Narcissistic Abuse, Not Common Abuse (Stress, Depression Management Webinar)

Narcissistic abuse is a subtype of abusive behavior that is pervasive, sophisticated, and can be practiced either covertly or overtly. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience depression, anxiety, disorientation, and dissociative symptoms. This type of abuse can lead to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and even elements of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The way individuals process and react to trauma can lead to either regression into infantile behaviors or personal growth and maturation, depending on their emotional regulation and maturity.

How Narcissist Disables Your Alarm System ( Zombies, Zimbos, Contagion)

Victims of narcissistic abuse experience complex trauma, CPTSD, complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Narcissistic contagion leads to victims developing narcissistic traits and behaviors. The concept of "Zimbos" is introduced, referring to individuals who are behaviorally indistinguishable from humans but lack an inner experience. The lecture delves into philosophy of mind, discussing zombies, qualia, and the uncanny valley, and explores the impaired affect, cognition, and conation in narcissists. The tripartite model of attitudes is used to explain how narcissists are unable to develop appropriate attitudes towards attitude objects. The lecture concludes by warning about the contagious nature of narcissistic abuse and its long-term effects on victims.

Lonely, Schizoid Narcissist

Narcissistic personality disorder is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders, such as borderline, histrionic or antisocial psychopathic personality disorder. Narcissism is often also accompanied by substance abuse and other reckless and impulsive behaviors, and this we call dual diagnosis. There is one curious match, one logic-defying appearance or co-appearance of mental health disorders, narcissism, together with schizoid personality disorder. A minority of narcissists, therefore, choose the schizoid solution. They choose to disengage, to detach both emotionally and socially.

Narcissist's Victim: NO CONTACT Rules

Professor Sam Vaknin advises victims of narcissism and psychopathy to maintain as much contact with their abuser as the courts, counselors, evaluators, mediators, guardians, or law enforcement officials mandate. However, with the exception of this minimum mandated by the courts, decline any and all gratuitous contact with the narcissist or psychopath. Avoiding contact with the abuser is a form of setting boundaries, and setting boundaries is a form of healing. Be firm, be resolute, but be polite and civil.

Why Narcissist APPEARS So STUPID (Borderlines and Psychopaths, too!)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the topic of narcissistic abuse and the intelligence of individuals with Cluster B personality disorders. He explains that while these individuals may possess high IQs, they often exhibit behaviors that appear foolish and self-defeating. Vaknin attributes this to factors such as grandiosity, lack of empathy, identity disturbance, and external locus of control. He argues that these individuals are ultimately disabled and ill-equipped to navigate life and human relationships, despite their intellectual abilities.

Schizoid Narcissist Is Not Covert Narcissist

The text discusses the atypical presentations of narcissism, particularly focusing on the subtype known as the schizoid narcissist. It delves into the characteristics, behaviors, and comorbidities of this type, as well as the differences between schizoid and covert narcissists. The lecture also explores the emotional reactivity and sexuality of schizoid narcissists, as well as the various subtypes within this category. Additionally, it touches on the inner world of schizoids and their coping strategies when faced with a depletion of narcissistic supply. The text concludes by mentioning the upcoming lectures on the solutions adopted by narcissists and the psychological theories connecting schizoid personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and schizophrenia.

Covert, Women Narcissists Make It Into NEW DSM 5-TR

The DSM-5 acknowledges covert or vulnerable narcissists and accepts parity between women and men in terms of being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. However, the DSM-5 is still disappointing and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Committee is still somewhat influenced by the insurance and pharmaceutical industries. The DSM-5 introduces dimensional models for personality disorders, which represent maladaptive variants of personality traits that merge imperceptibly into normality and into one another. The DSM's alternative model for narcissistic personality disorder specifies typical features of narcissistic personality disorder are variable and vulnerable self-esteem, with attempts at regulation through attention and approval seeking, and either overt or covert grandiosity.

Narcissist's Reactions to Abandonment, Separation, and Divorce

Narcissistic abusers often resort to self-delusion when faced with the dissolution of a meaningful relationship. They may adopt a masochistic avoidance solution, punishing themselves for their failure, or construct a delusional narrative in which they are the hero. Some may become antisocial psychopaths, while others develop persecutory delusions and withdraw completely from social contact, becoming schizoids. Finally, some abusers resort to an aggressive stance, becoming verbally, psychologically, and sometimes physically abusive towards loved ones.

DSM V Gets Narcissistic Personality Disorder Partly Right

The DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder include impairments in personality functioning, both self and interpersonal, and the presence of pathological personality traits. The impairments in self-functioning include identity and self-direction, while the impairments in interpersonal functioning include empathy and intimacy. The DSM-5 also focuses on pathological personality traits of the narcissist, which are characterized by antagonism, grandiosity, and attention-seeking. The diagnostic criteria should be stable across time, consistent across situations, and not solely due to direct physiological effects of a substance or general medical condition.

Coping Styles: Narcissist Abuses "Loved" Ones Despite Abandonment Anxiety

Narcissists abuse their loved ones to decrease their abandonment anxiety, restore their sense of grandiosity, and test their partner's loyalty. Abuse also serves as a form of behavior modification, as it signals to the partner that they need to modify their behavior to avoid abuse. Coping styles for dealing with abuse include submissiveness, conflicting, mirroring, collusion, and displacement, but some of these styles can be harmful and should be avoided.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2023, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy