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Narcissist and God: Love-Hate Relationship

Uploaded 7/28/2010, approx. 4 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

The narcissist has a love-hate relationship with God. God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be. He is omnipotent, or powerful, omniscient, or knowing, omnipresent, everywhere. God is admired, much discussed, and awe-inspiring. God is the narcissist's wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy.

But God comes handy in other ways as well.

Let us rewind.

The narcissist alternately idealizes and then devalues authority figures.

What greater authority figure is there than God.

In the idealization phase, the narcissist strives to emulate, to imitate authority figures. He admires them. He copies their behavior, often ludicrously. He defends them. They cannot go wrong or be wrong.

The narcissist regards these authority figures as bigger than life, infallible, perfect, whole, brilliant.

But as the narcissist's unrealistic and inflated expectations are inevitably frustrated by reality, he begins to devalue his former idols.

Now, they are merely human. They are small, fragile, error-prone, fusillanimous, mean, dumb, mediocre.

The narcissist goes through the same cycle in his relationship with God, quintessential authority figure.

But often, even when devaluation, disillusionment, and iconoclastic despair set in, the narcissist continues to pretend to love God and to follow him.

The narcissist maintains this deception because his continued adherence to God and his commandments and his continued proximity to God confer on the narcissist authority.

Priests, leaders of congregations and parishes, preachers, evangelists, cultists, politicians, and intellectuals all derive authority from their allegedly privileged relationship with God.

Religious authority allows the narcissist to indulge his sadistic urges and to exercise his misogynism, for instance, freely and openly. Such a narcissist is likely to taunt and torment his followers, hector and chastise them, humiliate and berate them for their sins, abuse them spiritually or even sexually.

The narcissist, whose source of authority is religious, is looking for obedient and unquestioning slaves upon whom to exercise his capricious and wicked mastery in the name of God.

The narcissist transforms even the most innocuous and pure religious sentiments into a cultish ritual, in a virulent hierarchy.

The narcissist, the so-called religious narcissist, preys on the gullible. His flock become his hostages.

Religious authority also secures the narcissist's narcissistic supply. He craves attention, adulation, adulation, admiration, adoration, affirmation, applause.

His co-religionists, members of his congregation, his parish, his constituency, his audience are transformed into a loyal and stable source of this narcissistic supply.

They obey his commands given in the name of God. They heed his admonitions. They follow his creed. They admire his personality. They applaud his personal traits, unblemished and impeccable. They satisfy his needs, sometimes even his carnal desires. They revere and idolize him because he's close to God.

Being a part of a bigger thing is very gratifying, narcissistically. Being a particle of God, being immersed in his grandeur, experiencing his power and blessings firsthand, communing with him, all sources of unending narcissistic supply.

It is to be omnipotent, omniscient and grand by proxy vicariously.

The narcissist becomes God by observing his commandments, by following his instructions, by loving him, by obeying him, by succumbing to him, by merging with him, by communicating with him, or even by defying him.

Even heretic narcissists, the arrived narcissistic supply from God because the bigger the narcissist's enemy, the more grandiosely important the narcissist feels.

Like everything else in the narcissist's life, he mutates God into a kind of inverted narcissist. God becomes his dominant source of narcissistic supply.

The narcissist forms a personal relationship with this overwhelming and overpowering entity in order to overwhelm and overpower others.

Narcissist becomes God vicariously by the proxy of his relationship with him.

He idealizes God. He then devalues God. He then abuses God.

This is the classic narcissistic pattern and even God himself cannot escape it and is not exempt.

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Money: Narcissist's License to Abuse

Money is a love substitute for the narcissist, allowing them to be their corrupt selves and buy absolution, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is a license to sin and a permit to be unmitigated self. Money liberates the mind of the narcissist, allowing them to concentrate on attaining the desired position on top. The narcissist is addicted to money because it is the freedom not to behave in a way that is unbearable to them in the long run.


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Narcissist's Objects and Possessions

Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic supply, and the narcissist often compares people to the inanimate. Narcissists collect proofs and trophies of their sexual prowess, dramatic talent, past wealth, or intellectual achievements, and these objects operate through the mechanism of narcissistic branding. The narcissist is a pathogen who transforms his human and non-human environment alike, objectifying people and anthropomorphizing objects to optimize or maximize narcissistic supply.


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Narcissists Hate Children and Envy Them

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Narcissist as Eternal Child

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Fanatic Narcissist and Group Affiliation: Church, Community, Team, Collective

Narcissists are prone to magical thinking and believe they are chosen or destined for greatness. They believe they have a direct line to God and that their life is micromanaged by God himself. Narcissism and religion go well together as religion allows the narcissist to feel unique and God-chosen. The narcissist likes to belong to groups or frameworks of religions and derives easy and constantly available narcissistic supply from these affiliations.

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