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Narcissist's Addiction to Fame and Celebrity

Uploaded 2/9/2011, approx. 4 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Narcissists are addicted to being famous. This is by far a predominant drive.

Being famous encompasses a few important functions for the narcissist. It endows him with power, provides him with a constant source of narcissistic supply, admiration, adoration, approval, all attention, and fulfills important ego functions.

The image the narcissist projects is hurled back at him, reflected by those exposed to his celebrity or fame, and of course, by the media.

This way, the narcissist feels alive. His very existence is affirmed, and he acquires the sensation of clear boundaries, where the narcissist ends and the world begins.

There is a set of narcissistic behaviors typical to the pursuit of celebrity and fame. There is almost nothing that the narcissist refrains from doing, almost no borders that he hesitates to cross in order to achieve renown or infamy.

To the narcissist, there is no such thing as bad publicity. What matters is to be in the public eye and in the limelight.

Because the narcissist equally enjoys all types of attention and likes as much to be feared as to be lost, for instance, he doesn't mind if what is published about him is wrong. He says as long as they spell my name correctly, I'm content.

The narcissist's only bad emotional stretches are during periods of lack of attention, publicity, or exposure. The narcissist hates to be ignored. The narcissist then, when ignored, feels empty, hollowed out, negligible, humiliated, wrathful, discriminated against, deprived, neglected, treated unjustly, and so on.

At first, the narcissist tries to obtain attention from an ever-narrowing group of reference. We call it supply scale down.

But the feeling that he is compromising, the feeling that he's not getting the best quality narcissistic supply, knows that he's anyhow fragile, self-esteem. And sooner or later, the spring bursts.

The narcissist plots, contrives, plans, conspires, thinks, analyzes, synthesizes. He does whatever else is necessary to regain the lost exposure and attention in the public eye, to be again in the limelight.

The more the narcissist fails to secure the attention of the target group, always the largest, most prosperous, most qualitative. The more he fails to gain their attention, the more daring, eccentric, and outlandish the narcissist becomes.

Firm decision to become known is transformed into resolute action, and then to a panicky pattern of attention-seeking behaviors. It may end badly. Some narcissists will even murder to be noticed.

The narcissist is not really interested in publicity per se. Narcissists are rather misleading in this sense as well.

The narcissist appears to love himself, and really, he abhors himself. Similarly, he appears to be interested in becoming a celebrity, and in reality is concerned with the reactions to his fame and celebrity.

Not with the celebrity or fame itself, but with the reactions to his fame and celebrity. He wants people to watch him, to notice him, to talk about him, to debate his actions. If they do, he exists.

The narcissist goes around hunting and collecting all the expressions on people's faces and how they change when they notice him. He places himself at the center of attention, or even as a figure of controversy and hatred. He constantly and recurrently pesters those nearest and dearest to him in a way to reassure himself that he is not losing his touch, his fame, his magic touch, the attention of his social billiards.

He keeps saying, am I still famous? Did they notice me? My arrival, my departure.

Truly, the narcissist is not choosy. If he can become famous as a writer, he writes. If he can become notorious as a businessman, he conducts business or shady dealings. He switches from one field to another with ease and without remorse, because in all of them he is present without conviction.

Bar the conviction that he must and deserves to get famous. He doesn't really love what he does. He loves the outcomes of what he does.

The narcissist grades activities, hobbies, and people, not according to the pleasure that they give him, but according to their utility. Can they or can't they make him known? And if so, to what extent?

The narcissist is one-track minded, not to say obsessive or compulsive. The narcissist world is a world of black being unknown and deprived of attention, and white being famous and celebrated.

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Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.


Narcissist's Objects and Possessions

Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic supply, and the narcissist often compares people to the inanimate. Narcissists collect proofs and trophies of their sexual prowess, dramatic talent, past wealth, or intellectual achievements, and these objects operate through the mechanism of narcissistic branding. The narcissist is a pathogen who transforms his human and non-human environment alike, objectifying people and anthropomorphizing objects to optimize or maximize narcissistic supply.


Narcissist's Pathological Space: His Kingdom

The pathological narcissistic space is a geographical area, group of people, or an abstract field of knowledge in which the narcissistic pathology reaches its full expression and effectiveness. It is a territorially expanded false self that is achieved via sources of narcissistic supply. The existence of the pathological narcissistic space is independent of the existence of sources of narcissistic supply. The pathological narcissistic space constantly consumes and drains narcissistic supply, and it generates negative narcissistic accumulation.


Narcissist's Routines

Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist's routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.


Narcissist Dreads Change, Uses Sex to Reduce Anxiety

Narcissists are change-averse due to their belief that they already know everything and their lack of curiosity about themselves and others. They also confuse their internal and external environments, leading to a fear that any change in the external environment will result in self-destruction. To reduce anxiety, narcissists engage in unusual psychosexuality and seek intimate partners to legitimize their sexual preferences. As society becomes more narcissistic, these behaviors become more prevalent, especially among women who conform to male stereotypes to gain attention and validation.


Narcissist Re-idealizes Discarded Sources of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists maintain discarded sources of supply in a mental reserve and may seek them out when other options are unavailable, attempting to recycle these sources for validation. To reconnect with a devalued source, they must re-idealize it without admitting past mistakes, creating a narrative that reconciles their previous devaluation with the new idealized view. Old sources of supply should remain indifferent to the narcissist's attempts to reconnect, as this indifference is intolerable to them and deprives them of the attention they crave. Ultimately, narcissists view everyone as potential sources of supply, even enemies, as any emotional response, positive or negative, serves to validate their existence.


Narcissistic Supply: Narcissist's Drug

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that individuals, particularly narcissists, seek from their environment to maintain their self-worth and self-esteem. Unlike normal individuals who can tolerate a moderate amount of attention, narcissists are insatiable and manipulate others to provide them with constant validation through a fabricated persona known as the false self. This supply can be categorized into primary narcissistic supply, which includes any form of attention, and secondary narcissistic supply, which encompasses aspects of a stable and successful life. The narcissist conditions those around them to fulfill specific roles that cater to their need for validation, effectively creating a pathological space where they feel secure and valued.


Narcissist's Cycles of Ups and Downs

Narcissists experience cyclical phases of euphoria and dysphoria, characterized by alternating periods of hyperactivity and lethargy, driven by external triggers rather than internal biochemical changes. These cycles, which differ from bipolar disorder, are influenced by the availability of narcissistic supply, leading to manic episodes filled with creativity and social engagement, followed by depressive phases marked by withdrawal and despair. To manage these fluctuations, narcissists engage in a process of hibernation to regenerate energy and strategize for acquiring narcissistic supply, often relying on secondary sources for validation during low periods. Ultimately, the narcissist's life is a tumultuous journey between these mini-cycles, reflecting their dependence on external validation and the instability of their self-esteem.


Narcissist of Substance vs. Narcissist of Appearances

There are two types of narcissists: those who derive ample narcissistic supply from mere appearances and those whose narcissistic supply consists of doing substantial deeds. The former type of narcissist aims for celebrity, defined as being famous for being famous, while the latter type aims for careers in the limelight. The celebrity narcissist has a short attention span, is indolent, and prefers the path of least resistance. The career substantial narcissist is very concerned with leaving his mark and stamp of the world with his legacy, is a natural-born leader, and is willing and able to negotiate, compromise, and network.


Narcissist as Spoiled Brat

Narcissists require attention and narcissistic supply, and when they cannot obtain it, they may experience decompensation, which can lead to acting out in various ways. Narcissists may resort to several adaptive solutions, including delusional narratives, antisocial behavior, passive-aggressive behavior, paranoid narratives, and masochistic avoidance. These behaviors are all self-generated sources of narcissistic supply. Masochistic narcissists may direct their fury inwards, punishing themselves for their failure to elicit supply, and this behavior has the added benefit of forcing those closest to them to pay attention to them.

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