Background

Narcissist’s Manipulative Weapon: Projective Identification

Uploaded 9/5/2023, approx. 4 minute read

Narcissists and psychopaths make use of two techniques of mind control.

The psychopath leverages these techniques knowingly, deliberately, intentionally, he is goal-oriented.

The narcissist uses these techniques unconsciously. That's just the way he is. That's how he operates.

And so these techniques are entraining and projective identification.

I have discussed entraining in many videos on my YouTube channel.

To summarize, entraining is the repetition of musical notes or words in a way that synchronizes the brainwaves of the listener with the brainwaves of the emitter of the signal.

So when the abuser verbally abuses his victim, when he repeats the same refrains, the same phrases, the same words, the same exhortations, the same criticisms, the same threats, this constitutes entraining because it synchronizes the victim's brainwaves with the abuser's brainwaves, rendering them a hive mind, a single mind, the ultimate in mind control.

The second mechanism is a lot more complicated and a lot more nuanced and a lot more difficult to explain. It's known as projective identification.

And the problem in projective identification is the identification part of it.

The victim identifies herself with the narcissist's projected parts.


Now let's first explain projection.

Projection is when you have traits or emotions that you disown, that you reject, that you're not comfortable with, that you're ashamed of.

And then what you do, you take these traits and you take these emotions and you misattribute them to other people.

You say, "I'm not weak, he is weak. I am not abusive, she is being abusive." That is projection.

Now projective identification involves projection.

The narcissist projects the traits and emotions that he rejects in himself or herself and misattributes these traits and emotions to the victim.

Now of course, whenever I say he, it's a she, half of all narcissists are women.

And then the projection having been completed, the victim becomes the parts that the narcissist had rejected.

The narcissist misattributes traits and behaviors to the victim and the victim owns them. He identifies with them. He accepts them as his own.

The victim becomes what the narcissist wants him to become. The victim becomes the part of the narcissist that the narcissist had rejected.

The traits and emotions and cognitions that the narcissist is ashamed of, that the narcissist rejects, that the narcissist renounces these parts are owned by the victim.

The victim is molded by the narcissist's projection.

Hence the word identification.

And then the victim begins to behave accordingly. He begins to conform to the parts of the narcissist that had been projected onto her.

The victim becomes the shadow of the narcissist, the rejected parts of the narcissist.

The traits and behaviors and emotions and cognitions that the narcissist cannot countenance now become the victims.

And so projective identification is a defense mechanism of the narcissist, but it ends up modifying the victim's behavior.

The victim becomes an extension of the part of the narcissist which the narcissist disowns, denies, represses, rejects, hates and is ashamed of.

Consequently, of course, the narcissist rejects, renounces and hates the victim because she now represents the part of him that he wouldn't like to acknowledge.

She's a constant reminder of who the narcissist truly is and her behaviors having been modified by the narcissist validate and conform the narcissist's expectations of the victim, but at the same time constantly trigger the narcissist by reminding him who he really is.

Self-awareness is knowing who you are. It is not the same as authenticity. Authenticity is being who you are, acting who you are.

And yet in conditions of fear and terror and uncertainty, it is very difficult to be authentic. Fear precludes authenticity and so does pervasive uncertainty.

Where in the world where there is a war between the genders, between straight and LGBTQ, between minorities and majorities, between self-proclaimed victims and their putative abusers.

So what to do?

Stay at home, stay celibate, stay single. Do not expose yourself to this crossfire.

The world is not safe right now.

It is time actually to be both self-aware and authentic and self-sufficient. It is time to stand back and review your priorities and your necessities and your needs.

And then to make a decision as to which level of risk you are ready to assume.

Because today to engage with other people is to risk your freedom and very often your very life.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Coping Styles: Narcissist Abuses "Loved" Ones Despite Abandonment Anxiety

Narcissists abuse their loved ones to decrease their abandonment anxiety, restore their sense of grandiosity, and test their partner's loyalty. Abuse also serves as a form of behavior modification, as it signals to the partner that they need to modify their behavior to avoid abuse. Coping styles for dealing with abuse include submissiveness, conflicting, mirroring, collusion, and displacement, but some of these styles can be harmful and should be avoided.


N-Magnet: Narcissist's Ideal Victim?

Narcissists are not drawn to empathic, sensitive people, but rather repelled by them. Victims of narcissistic abuse come in all shapes, sizes, professions, genders, and ages, and there is no specific profile. People should not think of themselves as a "narcissist magnet" and instead review their life in detail to see that they have control over their destiny and can learn from their experiences. Bed relationships, no matter how harrowing, are opportunities to learn lessons.


Narcissist's Reactions to Abandonment, Separation, and Divorce

Narcissistic abusers often resort to self-delusion when faced with the dissolution of a meaningful relationship. They may adopt a masochistic avoidance solution, punishing themselves for their failure, or construct a delusional narrative in which they are the hero. Some may become antisocial psychopaths, while others develop persecutory delusions and withdraw completely from social contact, becoming schizoids. Finally, some abusers resort to an aggressive stance, becoming verbally, psychologically, and sometimes physically abusive towards loved ones.


Spot a Narcissist or a Psychopath on Your First Date

There are warning signs to identify abusers and narcissists early on in a relationship. One of the first signs is the abuser's tendency to blame others for their mistakes and failures. Other signs include hypersensitivity, eagerness to commit, controlling behavior, patronizing and condescending manner, and devaluing the partner. Abusers may also idealize their partner, have sadistic sexual fantasies, and switch between abusive and loving behavior. Paying attention to body language can also reveal warning signs.


Body Language of Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abuser

Abusers emit subtle signals in their body language that can be observed and discerned. They adopt a posture of superiority and entitlement, and they idealize or devalue their interlocutors. Abusers are shallow and prefer show-off to substance, and they are serious about themselves. They lack empathy, are sadistic, and have inappropriate affect. They are adept at casting a veil of secrecy over their dysfunction and misbehavior, and they succeed in deceiving the entire world.


Narcissist's 10 Body Postures, Psychopath's Physique

The text discusses the body language and body image of narcissists and psychopaths. It delves into the complex relationship these individuals have with their bodies, including how they use body language to manipulate and control others. The text also touches on the treatability of body dysmorphic and somatoform disorders through therapy.


Narcissist or Psychopath? What Are the Differences?

Narcissists and psychopaths share many traits, but there are important differences between the two. Psychopaths are less inhibited and less grandiose than narcissists, and they are unable or unwilling to control their impulses. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil, while narcissists are absentmindedly and incidentally evil. Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply, while psychopaths do not need other people at all.


Narcissist Entrains Codependent, Borderline Brainwash, Regulate, Repeat

Narcissists do not have a special gaze or eyebrows, despite myths and pseudoscience. However, victims' claims of feeling brainwashed by narcissists and experiencing depersonalization and derealization are likely true. Narcissists use techniques such as intermittent reinforcement, trauma bonding, and verbal abuse to induce a dissociative hypnotic trance in their victims, a process called entraining. Entraining involves modifying brainwaves to a desired frequency, and the narcissist's speech can change the rhythms of the victim's brain. This can cause feelings of amnesia, depersonalization, and derealization, leading to massive dissociation in the victim.


Victims Become Narcissists: Contagious Narcissism

Victims of narcissistic abuse can become narcissistic themselves, adopting the role of a professional victim. These individuals become self-centered, abusive, and exploitative, and their existence and identity rest solely on their victimhood. This is known as narcissistic contagion or narcissism by proxy, and it is a danger that should be avoided by every victim and survivor of abuse. Once the victim starts to abuse, they never stop, and their abuse becomes indiscriminate and affects everyone around them.


Was Your Ex a Narcissist or a Psychopath?

Narcissists and psychopaths differ in their emotional investment in others and their goals. Narcissists are emotionally invested in shared fantasies, while psychopaths and malignant narcissists are not emotionally invested in anything or anyone. Psychopaths are goal-oriented and do not care about their careers, intellectual property, spouses, children, parents, community, public opinion, court system, law enforcement, or anything else. Narcissists love-ball, while psychopaths groom, and narcissists are liable to stalking and hoovering, while psychopaths just vanish.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy