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Narcissist in Court and Litigation

Uploaded 10/15/2010, approx. 4 minute read

I am Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.


In a court of law, the narcissist acts convincing. It captivates judge, jury and audience.

So how can you expose the lies of the narcissist?

Well, you should distinguish the factual pillar from the psychological pillar of any cross-examination of a narcissist or any deposition made by him.

It is essential to be equipped with absolutely unequivocal, first-rate, thoroughly authenticated and vouched for information.

The reason is that narcissists are superhuman in their capacity to distort reality by offering highly plausible alternative scenarios which feed most of the facts, however damning.

It is very easy to break a narcissist, even a well-trained and well-prepared one, but you have to know how to do that. You have to find the chinks in the narcissist's armor, you have to penetrate, you have to inflict pain and to use to leverage narcissist's underabilities, frailties, weak spots and underlying inferiority complex.

So here are a few things that the narcissist finds devastating on and off the stand.

Any statement of fact which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self. Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of talents and skills which the narcissist fantasizes that he possesses. Any hint that he is subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party. Any description of the narcissist as average, common, indistinguishable from many others, boorish, boring. Any hint that the narcissist is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in the know, manipulated, a victim, an average person of mediocre accomplishments.

The narcissist is likely to react with rage to all these hints and allusions and allegations and in an effort to reestablish his fantastic grandiosity, he is likely to expose facts and stratagems that he had no conscious intention of exposing.

The narcissist reacts indignantly with wrath, hatred, aggression or even overt violence to any infringement of what he perceives to be his natural entitlement.

Narcissists believe that they are so unique and that their lives are of such cosmic significance that others should defer to their needs and cater to their every whim without ado.

The narcissist feels entitled to interact or be treated or questioned only by unique individuals. He resents being doubted and ridiculed by run-of-the-mill advocates or attorneys, let alone by you.

An insinuation, hint, intimation or direct declaration that the narcissist is not special at all, that he is average, common, not even sufficiently idiosyncratic to warrant a fleeting interest, all these inflame the narcissist.

He holds himself to be omnipotent, an omniscient, contradict this and he will unravel. Tell the narcissist that he does not deserve the best treatment, that his desires are not everyone's priority, that he is boring or ignorant, that his needs can be catered to by any common practitioner, medical doctor, accountant, lawyer, psychiatrist, that he and his motives are transparent and can be easily gorged, that he will do what he is taught, that his temper tantrums will not be tolerated, that no special concessions will be made to accommodate his inflated sense of self, that he is subject to court procedures like everyone else, etc. And then the narcissist will likely lose control of himself. He will make a public scene.

The narcissist believes that he is the cleverest, far above the manning crowd and the great unwashed.

So contradict him often, disagree with him, criticize his judgment, expose his shortcomings, humiliate, berate him, tell him you are not as intelligent as you think you are, or who is really behind on this? He takes sophistication which you don't seem to possess, or so you have no formal education, or you are and then make mistake his age or make him much older, or what did you do in your life? Did you study anything? Do you have a degree? Did you ever establish or run a business? Would you define yourself as a success? Or would your children share your view that you are a good father? Or you were last seen with a certain, this and this, who is a stripper or some other demeaning profession?

I know that many of these questions cannot be asked outright in a court of law, but you can insinuate them, you can hurt them as a narcissist, during the breaks, inadvertently during the examination of the position phase.

You can lose control of yourself and say these things. Make sure that he is confronted with his truths.

He cannot stomach truth. His whole precariously balanced personality is built on false foundations, on a false self and on the acceptance of this false self by everyone around.

Narcissists hate innuendos even more than they detest direct attacks. Good luck.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Narcissistic Boss or Employer: Coping and Survival Tactics

Narcissistic bosses or employers view their staff as sources of narcissistic supply and nothing else. They expect their employees to serve as an audience, adulate, and affirm their grandiose self-image. Any hint of equality, disagreement, or criticism threatens the narcissist profoundly. Narcissists feel suffocated by intimacy or routine and forever shift the blame, pass the buck, and engage in cognitive dissonance. Manipulating the narcissist is the only way an employee can survive in such a workplace.


Recluse Narcissist

Narcissists do not have friends in the usual sense of the word, as they are only interested in securing the provision of narcissistic supply from others. They overvalue people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, but discard them nonchalantly when they are no longer able or willing to supply them. The narcissist's behavior, choices, acts, attitudes, beliefs, interests, and life are curtailed by their sensitivity to outside opinion, and they avoid situations where they are likely to encounter opposition, criticism, or competition. The fear of flying is at the heart of narcissism.


Narcissist: Normal People are Enigma

The narcissist feels that they cannot understand normal people and that they are often exploited in their relationships. They try hard not to offend others and give a lot, but it seems that they can do nothing right. The narcissist feels that they are a mental leper and that people only tolerate them because of what they can offer. They acquiesce in the asymmetry of their relationships and have known no differently since their early childhood.


Narcissist: I want it ALL and NOW! (Delayed Gratification and Entitlement)

Narcissists cannot delay gratification and are creatures of the here and now. They cannot form stable relationships, maintain a job or career path, or accumulate material wealth. The narcissist's life is characterized by jerky, episodic careers, relationships, marriages, and domiciles. The narcissist is possessed of a low self-esteem and is unable to love himself or others. The narcissist's interpersonal relationships are deformed and sick, and he recreates conflicts with his primary objects in his marriage.


Gullible Narcissist Victimized and Abused

Narcissists are more gullible than the average person because they live in a fantasy world of their own making, where they are at the center of the universe. They are prone to magical thinking and believe they are immune to the consequences of their actions. Narcissists feel entitled to everything and are easily duped, cheated, and deceived. They attract abuse and are often targeted by stalkers and persecutors, usually mentally ill people who develop a fixation on the narcissist.


Narcissism: Not Self-love!

The narcissist lacks the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy and empathize with others, as they have a false self that devours their true self. They love the image they project onto others and expect others to reflect this image. The narcissist's feeling of entitlement is not grounded in reality and can easily lead to aggression. The narcissist lacks self-knowledge and lives in an invented world of their own design, making it difficult for them to connect with others and experience mature love.


Narcissist as the Center of the World: Referential Delusions and Ideas of Reference

The narcissist is the center of the world and derives their sense of being and self-worth from the outside. They must delude themselves into believing that they are persistently the focus and object of the attentions, intentions, plans, feelings, and stratagems of everyone around them. This constant obsession with one's locus leads to referential ideation, ideas of reference. The narcissist becomes paranoid and would rather be the object of often imaginary and always self-inflicted derision, scorn, and vile than to be ignored.


When Narcissist Runs Out of Supply (Self-supply Compilation)

Narcissists exhibit a sense of sacrificial entitlement, believing that their presence in someone's life is a privilege and a sacrifice on their part. This self-perception combines grandiosity with victimhood, as they see themselves as superior beings who are condescending to interact with others. This form of entitlement is a method of self-supply, reinforcing their grandiose self-image while also framing themselves as victims who are giving up their potential for the sake of others. Narcissists may use this mindset to justify expecting gratitude, obedience, and submission from those around them.


Narcissist as Eternal Child

Narcissists often refuse to grow up and remain in a state of infantilization, avoiding adult responsibilities and functions. This is because remaining a child caters to their narcissistic needs and defenses. Narcissists are often envious of children and try to emulate them, as children are forgiven for narcissistic traits and behaviors that adults are not. By remaining a child, the narcissist can indulge in these behaviors and not be punished for them.

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