Narcissist in Court and Litigation

Uploaded 10/15/2010, approx. 4 minute read

I am Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

In a court of law, the narcissist acts convincing. It captivates judge, jury and audience.

So how can you expose the lies of the narcissist?

Well, you should distinguish the factual pillar from the psychological pillar of any cross-examination of a narcissist or any deposition made by him.

It is essential to be equipped with absolutely unequivocal, first-rate, thoroughly authenticated and vouched for information.

The reason is that narcissists are superhuman in their capacity to distort reality by offering highly plausible alternative scenarios which feed most of the facts, however damning.

It is very easy to break a narcissist, even a well-trained and well-prepared one, but you have to know how to do that. You have to find the chinks in the narcissist's armor, you have to penetrate, you have to inflict pain and to use to leverage narcissist's underabilities, frailties, weak spots and underlying inferiority complex.

So here are a few things that the narcissist finds devastating on and off the stand.

Any statement of fact which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self. Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of talents and skills which the narcissist fantasizes that he possesses. Any hint that he is subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party. Any description of the narcissist as average, common, indistinguishable from many others, boorish, boring. Any hint that the narcissist is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in the know, manipulated, a victim, an average person of mediocre accomplishments.

The narcissist is likely to react with rage to all these hints and allusions and allegations and in an effort to reestablish his fantastic grandiosity, he is likely to expose facts and stratagems that he had no conscious intention of exposing.

The narcissist reacts indignantly with wrath, hatred, aggression or even overt violence to any infringement of what he perceives to be his natural entitlement.

Narcissists believe that they are so unique and that their lives are of such cosmic significance that others should defer to their needs and cater to their every whim without ado.

The narcissist feels entitled to interact or be treated or questioned only by unique individuals. He resents being doubted and ridiculed by run-of-the-mill advocates or attorneys, let alone by you.

An insinuation, hint, intimation or direct declaration that the narcissist is not special at all, that he is average, common, not even sufficiently idiosyncratic to warrant a fleeting interest, all these inflame the narcissist.

He holds himself to be omnipotent, an omniscient, contradict this and he will unravel. Tell the narcissist that he does not deserve the best treatment, that his desires are not everyone's priority, that he is boring or ignorant, that his needs can be catered to by any common practitioner, medical doctor, accountant, lawyer, psychiatrist, that he and his motives are transparent and can be easily gorged, that he will do what he is taught, that his temper tantrums will not be tolerated, that no special concessions will be made to accommodate his inflated sense of self, that he is subject to court procedures like everyone else, etc. And then the narcissist will likely lose control of himself. He will make a public scene.

The narcissist believes that he is the cleverest, far above the manning crowd and the great unwashed.

So contradict him often, disagree with him, criticize his judgment, expose his shortcomings, humiliate, berate him, tell him you are not as intelligent as you think you are, or who is really behind on this? He takes sophistication which you don't seem to possess, or so you have no formal education, or you are and then make mistake his age or make him much older, or what did you do in your life? Did you study anything? Do you have a degree? Did you ever establish or run a business? Would you define yourself as a success? Or would your children share your view that you are a good father? Or you were last seen with a certain, this and this, who is a stripper or some other demeaning profession?

I know that many of these questions cannot be asked outright in a court of law, but you can insinuate them, you can hurt them as a narcissist, during the breaks, inadvertently during the examination of the position phase.

You can lose control of yourself and say these things. Make sure that he is confronted with his truths.

He cannot stomach truth. His whole precariously balanced personality is built on false foundations, on a false self and on the acceptance of this false self by everyone around.

Narcissists hate innuendos even more than they detest direct attacks. Good luck.

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Can You Love the Narcissist and Rescue Him?

Victims of narcissists often resort to fantasies and self-delusions to cope with their pain, believing that they can rescue the narcissist from their misery and misfortune. However, loving a narcissist is difficult, and any attempt to relate to them emotionally is doomed to failure. Narcissists are addicts in pursuit of gratification through the drug known as narcissistic supply, and they hone in on potential suppliers like cruise missiles. Victims of narcissists can become bitter and self-centered, lacking in empathy, and become more like the narcissist over time.

Narcissist's Routines

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Narcissist: Your Pain is his Healing, Your Crucifixion - His Resurrection

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Narcissist's Victims' Many Faces

Everyone around the narcissist is bound to become a victim, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. There are three categories of victims: those who suffer from the narcissist's instability, those who are misled by the narcissist's deceiving messages, and those who are intentionally targeted by the narcissist. The narcissist is both sadistic and masochistic, and in hurting others, he always seeks to also hurt himself. The narcissist is ruinous and destructive, and no amount of punishment can restore the balance or provide closure and vindication.

Narcissist's Accomplices

Narcissism is prevalent in Western society and is encouraged by individualism, materialism, and capitalism. Narcissists are aided by four types of people and institutions: adulators, blissfully ignorant, self-deceivers, and those deceived by the narcissist. The narcissist rarely pays the price for their offenses, and their victims pick up the tab. The abused often believe they can rescue, heal, cure, or change the narcissist with their love and empathy, but this is a grandiose fantasy.

Narcissistic Abuse: Not Your Fault, Nothing You Can Do (Wellness Insider)

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Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists sometimes feel bad and experience depressive episodes and dysphoric moods, but they have a diminished capacity to empathize and rarely feel sorry for what they have done or for their victims. They often project their own emotions and actions onto others and attribute to others what they hate in themselves. When confronted with major crises, the narcissist experiences real excruciating pain, but this is only a fleeting moment, and they recover their former self and embark on a new hunt for narcissistic supply. They are hunters, predators, and their victims are prey.

Narcissist's Pain: Narcissism, Sadism, and Masochism

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