Background

Narcissistic Grandiosity Bubbles

Uploaded 2/23/2011, approx. 3 minute read

I am Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

As one source of narcissistic supply, the narcissist finds himself trapped, frantic, though a times unconscious effort, to secure alternatives.

As one pathological narcissistic space, the narcissist's stomping grounds, is rendered uninhabitable because too many people see through the narcissist's manipulation machinations, the narcissist wanders off to find another.

These hysterical endeavors sometimes lead to boom-bust cycles, which involve, in the first stage, the formation of a grandiosity bubble.

A grandiosity bubble is an imagined, self-aggrandizing narrative, involving the narcissist in elements from his real life.

People around him, places he frequents, conversations he is having. The narcissist weaves a story, incorporating these facts, inflating them in the process and endowing them with bogus internal meaning and consistency.

In other words, the narcissist does what he does best, he confabulates, but this time the confabulation is loosely based on reality.

In the process, the narcissist reinvents himself in his life to fit the new fangled tale. He recasts himself in newly adopted roles.

He suddenly fancies himself an actor, a guru, a political activist, an entrepreneur, an author, or even an irresistible hunk.

The narcissist modifies his behavior to conform to these new functions and roles, self-allocated as they are.

He gradually morphs into the fabricated character, he shapeshifts and becomes the fictitious protagonist he has created.

All the mechanisms of pathological narcissism are at work during the bubble phase.

The narcissist idealizes the situation, the other actors, and the environment. He tries to control and to manipulate his milieu into buttressing his false notions and perceptions.

Faced with an inevitable grandiosity gap between reality and the bubble, the narcissist becomes disillusioned and bitter and devalues and discards the people, places and circumstances involved in the grandiosity bubble.

Still, grandiosity bubbles are not part of the normal narcissistic mini-cycle. They are rare events, much like trying on a new outfit for size and comfort. They fizzle out rapidly and the narcissist reverts to his regular pattern, idealizing new sources of supply, devaluing and discarding these sources or previous ones, pursuing the next victims to be drained of energy.

Actually, the deflation of a grandiosity bubble is met with relief by the narcissist. It does not involve a narcissistic injury.

The narcissist views the bubble as merely an experiment at being someone else for a while, as an exercise at acting.

The grandiosity bubble is a safety valve, allowing the narcissist to effectively cope with negative emotions and frustration by temporarily becoming someone else, by playing or play acting a role.

Thus cleansed, the narcissist can go back to doing what he does best, rejecting a false self and garnering attention from others.

Grandiosity bubbles are therefore cathartic.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

Narcissistic mortification is a challenge to the false self, which crumbles and is unable to maintain defenses and pretensions. Narcissists use two strategies to restore some cohesiveness to the self: deflated and inflated narcissist. Narcissists engage in mortification, a form of self-mutilation, to feel alive and free from commitment to their false self. Narcissists seek out borderline women to mortify them and experience the unresolved primary conflict with their mother.


When Narcissist Says "I Love You" - What Does It Mean To Him?

Narcissists and borderlines often mislabel and misidentify their internal processes as love and intimacy, despite being incapable of experiencing true love or intimacy. They confuse dependency, limerence, exhibitionism, masochism, defiance, competitiveness, possessiveness, neediness, and people-pleasing with love and intimacy. This mislabeling is an attempt at self-restoration and bridging confabulation, as they have a diminished self-insight and inability to introspect. Their constant attempt to explain or describe their internal processes is an effort to restore their being, relationship with the world, and ultimately their identity.


Narcissist: Destructive Envy and Romantic Jealousy

Envy is a compounded emotion brought on by the realization of some lack or deficiency in oneself. Narcissists cope with their pathological envy by either subsuming the object of envy via imitation or destroying it. The most dangerous species of narcissists are those who derive contentment from their own humiliation and end up driving the objects of their own devotion and accumulation to destruction and decrepititude. Romantic jealousy is a narcissistic defense that reflects the narcissistic traits and behaviors of possessiveness, objectification, and treating the spouse as an extension of oneself.


When the Narcissist's Parents Die

The death of a narcissist's parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist's trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist's unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.


Grandiosity as Cognitive Bias (Kruger-Dunning Effect)

Grandiosity in narcissism is an inflated self-image that is divorced from reality and self-perception. It is a set of cognitive biases constructed on a foundation of cognitive deficits that emanate from a flawed reality test. The narcissist perceives reality wrongly and lacks empathy, making it impossible for them to anticipate others' reactions, needs, and preferences. The narcissist's grandiosity is a derivative phenomenon that relies on cognitive biases, such as the Dunning-Kruger effect, where they overestimate themselves and underestimate others.


Mortification in Borderline Women, Narcissistic Men: Let Me Go, Give Me Life

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses mortification in borderline women and how it differs from mortification in narcissistic men. Both narcissists and borderlines have a false self, but the functions of the false self differ between the two. In narcissists, the false self serves as a decoy and a manipulative tool, while in borderlines, the false self functions as a host personality, moderating and switching between self-states. Mortification in borderlines is self-inflicted and serves as a way to feel alive, create drama, and experience transformation. When mortified, borderlines either disappear through dissociation or make others disappear through psychopathic behavior. In contrast, narcissists seek mortification to temporarily get rid of their false self and feel liberated.


Cyber (Internet) Narcissists and Psychopaths

The internet is a paradise for narcissists, as it provides an endless supply of attention and false identities. Narcissists are prone to internet addiction as it fulfills their emotional needs, but they are not interested in expanding their horizons or fostering true relationships. The internet is an egalitarian medium, which discomforts the narcissist as it lacks a clear hierarchy. However, the internet may also be the closest that the narcissist gets to psychodynamic therapy, as it allows them to project their experiences, fears, hopes, and prejudices onto others.


Two Narcissists in a Couple

Two narcissists of the same type cannot maintain a stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship. Two narcissists of different types or opposing types can, often do, maintain long-term, stable and rather happy relationships. There are two main types of narcissists, somatic and cerebral. The somatic type of narcissist relies on his body and sexuality to generate attention, adulation and admiration, while the cerebral narcissist leverages his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same. Stable and enduring relationships can and often do develop between dissimilar narcissists.


When Hoovering Fails, Narcissist Fakes

The text discusses the narcissist's reaction when someone refuses to conform to their idealized image. When rejected, the narcissist experiences cognitive dissonance and resolves it by rewriting history and reality. They re-idealize the rejected person and then devalue them if they persist in rejecting the narcissist. The narcissist's internal representation of the rejected person persists in their mind, and they dedicate their life to forcing others to conform to this idealized image.


Narcissist's Pathological Space: His Kingdom

The pathological narcissistic space is a geographical area, group of people, or an abstract field of knowledge in which the narcissistic pathology reaches its full expression and effectiveness. It is a territorially expanded false self that is achieved via sources of narcissistic supply. The existence of the pathological narcissistic space is independent of the existence of sources of narcissistic supply. The pathological narcissistic space constantly consumes and drains narcissistic supply, and it generates negative narcissistic accumulation.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy