The narcissist false self creates the shared fantasy.
The false self allocates roles in the shared fantasy to a fantasized self, the ego ideal, a godlike, perfect being or entity. So this is role number one.
And another role to an intimate partner or a close friend, an internal object that represents you within the shared fantasy.
So now we have a shared fantastic space within which there are two entities, the fantasized self and you, a close friend, an intimate partner.
The fantasized self is ideal, perfect, godlike, and you are there as an internal object within, embedded in the shared fantasy.
What is your role? Your function is to observe the fantasized self within the shared fantasy and to report back to the false self.
You're like a spy.
But the fantasized self within the shared fantasy, this perfect godlike ideal being entrains you to collude with it.
So you are entrained, you are brainwashed, to collude with a fantasized self in the shared fantasy.
You are not an impartial observer, you are a psychophantic acolyte. You are a fan.
The shared fantasy is a cult. The fantasized self within the shared fantasy is the cult leader.
So you're following the cult leader and you are reporting back to the false self, whatever it is, the fantasized self wants you to report.
But the false self is happy with that. It's exactly what it wants.
The false self is not looking for an objective impartial analysis or evaluation or appraisal of the fantasized self.
That's not the aim of the false self.
The aim of the false self is to find an outside observer, a third party like you, who would be willing to confirm that the fantasized self is indeed godlike, indeed ideal, indeed perfect, indeed brilliant.
And so you're there at the behest of the false self and he wants you to lie, it wants you to lie, it wants you to describe the fantasized self in glowing colors.
Why is that? Why does the false self want you to lie, to mislead, to deceive?
Because the false self is eager to merge with the fantasized self.
False self craves the fantasized self. The false self craves the fantasized self.
And so it would rather be deceived than give up on the opportunity to merge with the fantasized self.
Your confirmation that the fantasized self is indeed perfect, indeed brilliant, indeed ideal, indeed Godlike, this confirmation that comes from you, the third party, an objective observer, allegedly, this ostensible, someone who is not involved in the high drama of the paracosm of the false self and the fantasizer.
This helps the false self to merge with the fantasizer.
The false self can say, I have this opinion of the fantasized self as godlike and brilliant and perfect and ideal, but I'm involved. I can't be trusted. I'm cathected. I'm emotionally invested. I crave the fantasized self. I need someone to tell me that I'm right. I need someone to confirm that my appraisal, my evaluation of the fantasy self is objective, is real, not a figment of my imagination, not a figment of fantasy.
And that's where you come in.
The fantasized self within the shared fantasy entrains you to lie to the false self and tell the false self, inform the false self, that the fantasized self is indeed Godlike.
And because the false self is Godlike, and the fantasized self is Godlike, they can become one of the same. They can merge. They can fuse. They can become the unitary, constellated, integrated self whose formation has been disrupted in the narcissist's early childhood.
They can close the circle. They can obtain closure. They can reenact early childhood dynamics and this time with a favorable outcome.
Having accomplished this, the narcissist now has an imitation unitary self, an ersatz unitary self, a simulation of a unitary self, comprised of the fusion between the false self and the fantasized self.
And now equipped with this simulated unitary self, ersatz constellated self, equipped with this, the narcissists can move on to the next stage, which is separation individuation from you as a maternal object, as a representation of a maternal figure within the shared fantasy.
Indeed, your appraisal of the fantasized self is the appraisal of a mother, because a mother idealizes her child and you idealize the false self. Sorry, the fantasizer. Within the false self, the fantasy self.
Within the shared fantasy, you as an observer, you are in the role of a mother, you're a maternal observer, your mother observer.
And as a maternal observer, you idealize the fantasized self. You communicate it to Papa, to the false self, and you say, this child of yours is perfect, is brilliant, is Godlike, is ideal, and you can safely merge with it, you can safely become one with it because it will not diminish you. It will enhance you maybe.
And so the false self feels convenient, feels comfortable to merge with a fantasized self. And they become one. And there's a unitary, a simulated unitary self.
And you as a maternal figure're there and the simulated unitary self is ready to continue the dynamic and the replay and the reenactment of early childhood conflicts with you as a substitute mother, as a surrogate mother and the next stage is separation individuation which the newly created, newly emergent unitary self interprets as devaluation and discard.
These are the dynamics of the shared fantasy.