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Vaknin Talks

Full transcripts of Sam Vaknin's videos

Darkest Side of Narcissistic Abuse: Is It Intentional? (with Claire Auden)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), its prevalence in the population, and the distinction between NPD and narcissistic traits. He explains that narcissism is underdiagnosed, especially among certain demographics like women, who now represent half of those diagnosed with NPD. Vaknin also touches on the increase in narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors in society, the role of therapy in treating narcissists, and the challenges in changing the core behaviors of individuals with NPD. He emphasizes that narcissists have a childlike mentality and that their relationships follow a cycle of idealization and devaluation, ultimately leading to discard. Vaknin suggests that narcissistic abuse is unique in its totalizing effect on victims and is driven by the narcissist's need to reenact early childhood conflicts. He concludes that while behavioral modifications are possible in therapy, core changes in narcissists are not.


Creative Individual As Dark Personality

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the connection between creativity and mental illness, suggesting that mental illness may be a harbinger of creativity rather than intelligence. He explores the strategies that creative geniuses use to fit in with society, delves into the affinity between mental illness and creativity, and examines the shared genetic vulnerability framework of creativity and psychopathology. Vaknin also discusses the impact of the environment on creativity and mental illness, as well as the potential positive adaptation of mental illness for the species. He concludes by proposing that mental illness should not be stigmatized, as it has contributed to the advancements in science, art, and utility.


Mortified Narcissist, Borderline Switch Places: New Ideas for Therapy? (and Supply)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissistic modification and its effects on the narcissist's psyche. When a narcissist experiences modification, their defense mechanisms shut down, leading to emotional dysregulation and a sense of shame. This process can lead to a temporary transition to a borderline personality organization. The restoration of the narcissistic state hinges on narcissistic supply, which is preceded by a phase of self-supply. The lecture also explores the mirror image of this process in borderline personality disorder and suggests therapeutic implications for both conditions.


Women Who Hate Women, Men Who Love Them

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of misogyny among women and the impact of the #MeToo movement. He explains that women are becoming more masculine, leading to a scarcity of eligible male partners and increased competition among women. Vaknin also explores the different types of masculinity in men and their reactions to changing gender roles. He emphasizes the need for new models and institutions to adapt to the evolving dynamics between men and women, warning that the lack of positive identity and vision for the future could lead to the downfall of the human species.


Narcissist’s Retroactive Jealousy Of Your Past Relationships

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of romantic jealousy, particularly focusing on retroactive jealousy in narcissism. Retroactive jealousy is a cognitive process that involves fear of loss and is irrational. In narcissism, retroactive jealousy is linked to the inability to idealize and infantilize the partner, leading to anxiety and control issues. The narcissist's fear of losing the idealized version of the partner and the inability to control the partner's past contribute to retroactive jealousy. This jealousy is characterized by obsessive information gathering, devaluing the partner's past, and a sense of insecurity and inferiority. Retroactive jealousy in narcissism is a built-in feature and is a sign of the progression towards devaluation and separation in the shared fantasy.


Dostoyevsky’s Beef With Psychology Path Towards Its Renaissance ( Congress Presentation)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses Fyodor Dostoyevsky's quarrel with psychology and how it contrasts with modern psychology. Dostoyevsky's work delves into the human soul and the individual's reaction to society, contrasting with the statistical and pseudo-scientific approach of modern psychology. Dostoyevsky's characters struggle with morality, suffering, and the conflict between the pursuit of truth and the rejection of life. His use of symbolism and exploration of the self reflect his own inner conflicts and his commitment to truth. His characters' inner fixity and rejection of life lead to a spiritual death, and his work serves as a critique of narcissism and the pursuit of perfection.


A-ha Moment, Gut Instinct, Insight, Knowledge, Intuition: Epistemology in Psychology

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses insight, intuition, gut instincts, aha moments, epiphanies, and their emotional and cognitive aspects. He explains that aha moments are emotional reactions to sudden insight and are usually preceded by a period of pondering and analyzing. Aha moments are crucial in psychotherapy as they lead to self-awareness and the ability to connect seemingly unrelated events. He also delves into the differences between motivation and knowledge, and the role of intuition and insight in psychotherapy. Additionally, he explores the need for emotions in inducing transformation and change, and the compensatory mechanisms used by individuals who lack insight. Furthermore, he touches on the epistemic value of theories and the role of epistemology in psychology.


Narcissist’s Losses Are His Life

Loss is a crucial aspect of the narcissist's life, serving as an organizing principle and a means of transformation. The narcissist's self-destructive behavior and manipulation of external objects are driven by the need to induce change in their internal environment. Losses are both intentional and evoked by the narcissist, who uses them to engender victimhood and manipulate others. The narcissist's fear of losses leads them to preemptively bring them on, ultimately sacrificing reality for the appearance of life.


When Narcissist Runs Out of Supply (Self-supply Compilation)

Narcissists exhibit a sense of sacrificial entitlement, believing that their presence in someone's life is a privilege and a sacrifice on their part. This self-perception combines grandiosity with victimhood, as they see themselves as superior beings who are condescending to interact with others. This form of entitlement is a method of self-supply, reinforcing their grandiose self-image while also framing themselves as victims who are giving up their potential for the sake of others. Narcissists may use this mindset to justify expecting gratitude, obedience, and submission from those around them.


UP TO YOU How People Treat You: Change Your Messaging, Signaling

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the behavior of narcissists and psychopaths, emphasizing their inability to internalize moral reasoning and their lack of capacity for love. He explains that people's treatment of us is influenced by the information we transmit about ourselves and encourages us to cultivate dignity and self-respect. Vaknin advises against seeking validation by altering ourselves and instead advocates for authenticity and self-assertion as a means to change how others treat us. He concludes by emphasizing that we have the power to transform our lives by changing the way we present ourselves to the world.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2023, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
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