Vaknin Talks

Do THIS: 10A Model for a Fulfilled LIFE (by Jonah Nyoni)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin introduces the 10A model developed by Johna Nioni from Zimbabwe, which focuses on setting life goals, finding meaning, and maximizing self-efficacy and self-actualization. The 10A model includes aligning with one's purpose, accepting oneself, taking action, positive self-assertion, seeking advice, choosing positive associations, promoting oneself for the benefit of others, being accountable, adapting to change, and accelerating learning and innovation. Vaknin provides commentary on each A, relating it to current knowledge in psychology and emphasizing the importance of these principles for personal growth and success.

Posted on 4/2/2024, 14 minute read

Why do We Hate (Talk TV with Trisha Goddard)

Renowned clinical psychologist Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of hate, explaining that people tend to hate those who resemble them most and those who attempt to become like them. He delves into defense mechanisms such as reaction formation, splitting, and projection that contribute to rejection of others. Vaknin also highlights the role of politicians in using hate to separate people and the transition to an age of entitled competitive victimhood. He suggests that empathy skills and reducing anxiety about competition for scarce resources can help in fostering love and understanding.

Posted on 4/1/2024, 9 minute read

Self-styled Narcissism "Experts", Psychology Credentials

In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of self-styled experts in psychology and the criteria for defining true expertise in the field. He emphasizes the importance of dedication, publication in peer-reviewed journals, and participation in international conferences as key indicators of expertise. Vaknin also addresses the relevance of academic degrees in psychology, highlighting that while they are important for certain activities such as diagnosing and treating individuals, they are not necessary for creating new theories or treatment modalities. Additionally, he advocates for the inclusion of laymen's experiences and perspectives in psychology, arguing that their insights can provide valuable information for scholars. Overall, Vaknin aims to disambiguate the confusion surrounding credentials and expertise in the field of psychology.

Posted on 3/31/2024, 21 minute read

Gold Digger’s, Sugar Babe's World

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of gold diggers, focusing on four key elements: insecurity, entitlement, objectification, and transactionalism. He explains that gold diggers are often insecure and seek to convert others into a secure base, feel entitled to a luxurious lifestyle, objectify their partners, and engage in extreme transactionalism. Vaknin also mentions the existence of online forums and schools that teach gold digging techniques, highlighting the institutionalization of this behavior. He concludes by noting that even when the partner believes they have the upper hand, the gold digger ultimately benefits from the relationship.

Posted on 3/30/2024, 8 minute read

Hoovered by Narcissist? Now What?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of "hoovering" in narcissism, which involves the narcissist's attempt to re-idealize a former partner or to project the idealized image of the former partner onto a new one. This behavior is driven by the narcissist's internal dynamics and the need to resolve dissonance and anxiety. The hoovering shared fantasy is unstable and lacks direction, leading to self-destructive and self-defeating behavior by the narcissist. Ultimately, the hoovering attempts are doomed to fail, making the narcissist's life tragicomic.

Posted on 3/29/2024, 11 minute read

3 Spells Against Narcissist’s “Black Magic” Presence, Voice (LISTEN, PRINT, DECLAIM)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of narcissists on individuals and provides three affirmations to counter their influence. He advises repeating these affirmations daily, posting them in various places, and vocalizing them frequently to displace the narcissist's voice in one's mind. The affirmations emphasize that the narcissist's behavior is not the fault of the individual, but rather a result of the narcissist's internal dynamics and needs. By consistently practicing these affirmations, individuals can gradually silence the negative influence of the narcissist.

Posted on 3/27/2024, 3 minute read

Cold Therapy: Misinformation, Smears Dispelled

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new treatment modality called "cold therapy," which is a talk therapy designed for individuals diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and major depression. He dispels misconceptions about cold therapy, emphasizing that it does not involve physical abuse or violence and is strictly verbal. He explains that cold therapy aims to re-traumatize the patient in a controlled and tiered manner, leading to the collapse of the narcissist's defenses and creating a window of opportunity for change. Vaknin outlines 25 proprietary techniques used in cold therapy, including erasure, hypervigilant referencing, grandiosity reframing, and happiness mapping, to reframe situations and events as traumas and foster more adaptive functioning. He also discusses the challenges and risks associated with cold therapy, such as managing transference and countertransference, addressing suicidal tendencies, and fostering persecutory delusions.

Posted on 3/26/2024, 37 minute read

Sadistic Narcissist Attracted to Himself Through YOU (Autoerotism)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of malignant narcissism, which is a combination of narcissism, psychopathy, and sadism. He explains that sadistic narcissists use hate bombing and abuse to test the loyalty and allegiance of their partners. The sadistic narcissist's sexuality is exhibitionistic and autoerotic, and they are aroused by their own bodies as seen through the gaze of others. The sadistic narcissist's sexuality is crucially dependent on their ability to maintain the cognitive distortion known as grandiosity. The sadistic narcissist's shared fantasy consists of an intimate relationship with themselves as the exclusive love and sex object, mediated via their intimate partner or friends.

Posted on 3/25/2024, 32 minute read

Child Thwarted, Narcissist is Born (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the development of pathological narcissism and its underlying psychodynamics. He explains that narcissism is a post-traumatic condition that begins in early childhood when a child's need to be seen by their primary caregiver is not met, leading to a failure to develop a core identity, ego, and a proper sense of reality. Vaknin describes how narcissists are unable to distinguish between themselves and others, leading to a lack of boundaries and an internal emptiness. He also covers concepts such as narcissistic supply, external regulation, self-supply, narcissistic collapse, and the formation of bad and idealized objects within the narcissist's psyche. The lecture concludes with a promise to discuss how these dynamics play out in romantic relationships, emphasizing that the mechanisms are the same in all interpersonal relationships for a narcissist.

Posted on 3/24/2024, 1 hour 13 minute read

How Narcissist “Loves” YOU (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)

In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the unconscious and its role in narcissism. He explains that defense mechanisms are automatic but not unconscious, and that the concept of the unconscious is debatable in psychology. He also touches on the history of the unconscious and its role in different psychological theories. The lecture ends with a thank you to the audience and the organizer for their participation.

Posted on 3/23/2024, 1 hour 22 minute read

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