Background

Love-blind Narcissist Haunted, Self-pitying (TEXT in Description)

Uploaded 12/2/2024, approx. 4 minute read

Narcissists are love blind.

They off-handedly, absent-mindly and contemptuously discard the greatest assets a human being could ever aspire to or have. The dedicated few who love them, loyally, genuinely, dearly, profoundly, totally, and wholeheartedly.

But the ghosts, the ghosts of people passed, ephemeral and ethereal as they may be, weigh heavily. They threaten to suffocate.

There is a cacophony of disembodied voices, disparaging, lamenting, befuddled, haughty, contemptuous, childlike, terrorized. Terrorized.

Nothing is more stifling than the atmosphere abutting a decaying this putrefaction, the end of a life most thwarted. A sepia apparition that is a stuttering, pallid, intermittent version of its embound former self, its juiceless battery bleeding the acid of surrender into a lunar inner landscape. The gangrenous reeking of necrotic desolation, oozing apparent remorse.

The narcissist, as time passes, is more and more alone, shunned, abandoned, hated, and the narcissist disintegrates in slow but inexorable motion, a penumbral specter claiming counterfactual existence. Assaulted pillar, frozen and stultified, aghast the unfolding calamity of his or her own personal Sodom and Gomorrah.

And so it is time for soul searching. But how? How? When one has never had a soul? What to search for?

And so nostalgia sets in the sadness of what could have been and never will occur alternative histories wrong turns in a road not travel haunted by memories hunted by failures thwarted potentials fors promises, the narcissist is besieged.

The narcissist is not regretful or stricken by remorse, but wallowing in assiduous self-pity, consuming self-mourning, self-immolating grief distant echoes and the ramblings of the end long separated from his virulent insidious surreptitious life-threatening shame the narcissist his defenses crumbled is to confront it, this time multiplied and metastatic, fueled by decades of defeat and self-inflicted vitiation.

And worst are the images, beheaded faces afloat, disemboweled, decontextualized memories, sharp as knives, the aimlessness of it all.

Everything is ruined. There's no legacy. The eviscerating shards of opportunities missed and fantasies shattered.

And again the images, beheaded faces afloat, disemboweled, de contextualized memories, sharp as knives, the aimlessness, the aimlessness, the aimlessness of it all.

Deep space.

It is payback time for the pain and the hurt that the narcissist has caused. They catch up with him, like catapulted boomerangs.

And so the narcissist endures collapse, the dwindling of supplies. His or her old tricks no longer work. The superficial charm turns smarmy. The routines are boring, and the narcissist is rendered transparent and rejected as the loathsome, nasty and obnoxious person that he or she is.

Trying to capture this transformation, this transition into nothingness, I've written a few poems. Bear with me. Humour me.


The first poem is, Time has arrived. Time has arrived. Time has arrived. Time is here.

But the snow is great.

And you, bladed stalactite, shredded your loved ones, into ticket parade, confettied aftermath of distant glories.

Seek transit.

Now that you are melting, there is no one left to gather your holy water and to exercise the demons in the empty cave that you had become.

It is time already.


The next poem is fingerprints.

When you grow old, your fingerprints start fading.

The lines and horrors that make up your identity break down, disjointed.

You are rendered hard to tell to capture.

Safer to commit crimes with gloves off.

Or just to touch someone post-mortem with your blaring fingertips.

When you grow old, your fingertips start fading and the next one has to deal with the feeling of effervescence

Like a ghost I pass away imprinted in your lives, the minds and retinas of lovers strewn across my path, ephemeral.

In kingdoms where I once ruled invisible, a memory of slaughtered dreams and thwarted sunshines.

I wish to hold a hand across the time that sacks me, perchance the apparition of a smile, skin, flouting skin, the bonny chill of love-making in search of love.

I shall be no more, I know.

No one will carry me henceforth. Merely aspired, I am a dissipated recollection of an existence failed.

It is time to fade into the sunset.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


When the Narcissist's Parents Die

The death of a narcissist's parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist's trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist's unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.


Narcissist: Loser and Failure

Narcissists have three traits that make them fail and become losers: a sense of entitlement, arrogance, and aversion to routine. Their sense of entitlement makes them lazy and believe that they should be spoon-fed. They are under-qualified and lack skills because they believe they are above mundane chores. Their arrogance and belief that they are superior to others hampers their ability to function in society. They become outcasts and are shunned by colleagues, employers, and family members.


Narcissist as Eternal Child

Narcissists often refuse to grow up and remain in a state of infantilization, avoiding adult responsibilities and functions. This is because remaining a child caters to their narcissistic needs and defenses. Narcissists are often envious of children and try to emulate them, as children are forgiven for narcissistic traits and behaviors that adults are not. By remaining a child, the narcissist can indulge in these behaviors and not be punished for them.


Narcissist's Beloved Paranoia

The narcissist perceives himself as the target of vast conspiracies and feels victimized by those he considers inferior, which reinforces his sense of superiority. He projects his own negative emotions onto others, attributing to them the feelings of jealousy and rage that he harbors within. Paranoia serves as a defense mechanism against intimacy, as the narcissist fears exposure of his vulnerabilities and seeks to maintain distance from others. Ultimately, this paranoia leads to isolation and alienation, resulting in a life marked by loneliness and emotional detachment.


You Talk: What Narcissist Hears (Clinicians: Watch 26:00)

Narcissists perceive others as internal objects rather than separate entities, leading them to misinterpret speech as emanating from within their own minds. This internalization causes them to filter and distort communication, often attributing hostile meanings to benign statements, which reinforces their grandiose self-image and paranoia. Consequently, any interaction can trigger a defensive response, as the narcissist views words as potential threats to their self-worth, leading to devaluation and eventual discard of the other person. The communication style of narcissists reflects a fundamental disorder, resembling traits found in autism spectrum disorders, indicating a deeper issue with understanding and processing verbal and non-verbal cues.


Narcissist Father: Save Your Child

Parents who are worried about their children becoming narcissists under the influence of a narcissistic parent should stop trying to insulate their children from the other parent's influence. Instead, they should make themselves available to their children and present themselves as a non-narcissistic role model. Narcissistic parents regard their children as a source of narcissistic supply and try to control their lives through guilt-driven, dependence-driven, goal-driven, and explicit mechanisms. The child is the ultimate secondary source of narcissistic supply, and the narcissistic parent tries to perpetuate the child's dependence using control mechanisms. The narcissistic parent tends to produce another narcissist in some of their children, but this outcome can be effectively countered by loving, empathic, predictable, just, and positive upbringing, which encourages a


Why Narcissist Can't Hear YOU, Understand What You Are Saying To Him

Narcissists block out external stimuli and fail to understand others due to their deep-seated grandiosity, which distorts their perception of reality and leads to self-deception. Their internal speech overrides external voices, causing them to ignore information that contradicts their inflated self-image, resulting in selective auditory attention and perception. This cognitive distortion creates a delusional framework where they filter and retain only information that aligns with their beliefs, while dismissing anything that challenges their grandiosity. Ultimately, this leads to a chaotic internal landscape where the narcissist struggles to communicate effectively, as their internal world is populated by idiosyncratic voices that are largely non-communicable.


Narcissist Hates Happy People and Holidays

Holidays and birthdays are a difficult time for narcissists, as they provoke a stream of pathological envy. The narcissist is jealous of others for having a family, being able to celebrate lavishly, or being in the right mood. They hate humans because they are unable to be one and want to spoil it for those who can enjoy. Holidays remind the narcissist of their childhood, the supportive and loving family they never had, and what could have been.


Narcissistic Boss or Employer: Coping and Survival Tactics

Narcissistic bosses view their employees solely as sources of admiration and validation, expecting them to mirror their grandiosity without developing their own identities. When employees assert independence or challenge the narcissist's self-image, they risk severe backlash, including termination, as the narcissist perceives any hint of equality as a threat. The narcissist's need for constant validation leads to a cycle of idealization followed by devaluation, where new employees are initially praised but later taken for granted. To navigate this toxic environment, employees should avoid disagreement, refrain from intimacy, and consistently flatter the narcissist to maintain their position and minimize conflict.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy