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Love-blind Narcissist Haunted, Self-pitying (TEXT in Description)

Uploaded 12/2/2024, approx. 4 minute read

Narcissists are love blind.

They off-handedly, absent-mindly and contemptuously discard the greatest assets a human being could ever aspire to or have. The dedicated few who love them, loyally, genuinely, dearly, profoundly, totally, and wholeheartedly.

But the ghosts, the ghosts of people passed, ephemeral and ethereal as they may be, weigh heavily. They threaten to suffocate.

There is a cacophony of disembodied voices, disparaging, lamenting, befuddled, haughty, contemptuous, childlike, terrorized. Terrorized.

Nothing is more stifling than the atmosphere abutting a decaying this putrefaction, the end of a life most thwarted. A sepia apparition that is a stuttering, pallid, intermittent version of its embound former self, its juiceless battery bleeding the acid of surrender into a lunar inner landscape. The gangrenous reeking of necrotic desolation, oozing apparent remorse.

The narcissist, as time passes, is more and more alone, shunned, abandoned, hated, and the narcissist disintegrates in slow but inexorable motion, a penumbral specter claiming counterfactual existence. Assaulted pillar, frozen and stultified, aghast the unfolding calamity of his or her own personal Sodom and Gomorrah.

And so it is time for soul searching. But how? How? When one has never had a soul? What to search for?

And so nostalgia sets in the sadness of what could have been and never will occur alternative histories wrong turns in a road not travel haunted by memories hunted by failures thwarted potentials fors promises, the narcissist is besieged.

The narcissist is not regretful or stricken by remorse, but wallowing in assiduous self-pity, consuming self-mourning, self-immolating grief distant echoes and the ramblings of the end long separated from his virulent insidious surreptitious life-threatening shame the narcissist his defenses crumbled is to confront it, this time multiplied and metastatic, fueled by decades of defeat and self-inflicted vitiation.

And worst are the images, beheaded faces afloat, disemboweled, decontextualized memories, sharp as knives, the aimlessness of it all.

Everything is ruined. There's no legacy. The eviscerating shards of opportunities missed and fantasies shattered.

And again the images, beheaded faces afloat, disemboweled, de contextualized memories, sharp as knives, the aimlessness, the aimlessness, the aimlessness of it all.

Deep space.

It is payback time for the pain and the hurt that the narcissist has caused. They catch up with him, like catapulted boomerangs.

And so the narcissist endures collapse, the dwindling of supplies. His or her old tricks no longer work. The superficial charm turns smarmy. The routines are boring, and the narcissist is rendered transparent and rejected as the loathsome, nasty and obnoxious person that he or she is.

Trying to capture this transformation, this transition into nothingness, I've written a few poems. Bear with me. Humour me.


The first poem is, Time has arrived. Time has arrived. Time has arrived. Time is here.

But the snow is great.

And you, bladed stalactite, shredded your loved ones, into ticket parade, confettied aftermath of distant glories.

Seek transit.

Now that you are melting, there is no one left to gather your holy water and to exercise the demons in the empty cave that you had become.

It is time already.


The next poem is fingerprints.

When you grow old, your fingerprints start fading.

The lines and horrors that make up your identity break down, disjointed.

You are rendered hard to tell to capture.

Safer to commit crimes with gloves off.

Or just to touch someone post-mortem with your blaring fingertips.

When you grow old, your fingertips start fading and the next one has to deal with the feeling of effervescence

Like a ghost I pass away imprinted in your lives, the minds and retinas of lovers strewn across my path, ephemeral.

In kingdoms where I once ruled invisible, a memory of slaughtered dreams and thwarted sunshines.

I wish to hold a hand across the time that sacks me, perchance the apparition of a smile, skin, flouting skin, the bonny chill of love-making in search of love.

I shall be no more, I know.

No one will carry me henceforth. Merely aspired, I am a dissipated recollection of an existence failed.

It is time to fade into the sunset.

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Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


Narcissist's Routines

Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist's routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.


How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.


Narcissist Hates Happy People and Holidays

Holidays and birthdays are a difficult time for narcissists, as they provoke a stream of pathological envy. The narcissist is jealous of others for having a family, being able to celebrate lavishly, or being in the right mood. They hate humans because they are unable to be one and want to spoil it for those who can enjoy. Holidays remind the narcissist of their childhood, the supportive and loving family they never had, and what could have been.


Narcissist: You are Cardboard Cutouts, Avatars

Narcissists often fail to recognize when their audience has disengaged, leading to a shock when they are abandoned or shunned by others. This stems from a lack of psychological object constancy, causing them to create mental representations of people that do not reflect reality. Instead of engaging with real individuals, narcissists interact with these fabricated images, which leads to a distorted understanding of their relationships. Consequently, they remain oblivious to the true feelings and needs of those around them, resulting in a deepening detachment from reality.


Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech

Narcissists communicate using a dual-layered approach, where the overt message conceals a hidden, manipulative intent designed to trigger emotional responses in their targets. This hidden message often employs techniques such as counterfactuality, victimhood, projection, and gaslighting, which distort reality and shift blame onto others. Effective communication with narcissists requires ignoring the hidden messages and, if possible, involving intermediaries to prevent emotional manipulation. Ultimately, understanding the nature of narcissistic communication can help individuals protect themselves from the psychological harm inflicted by these interactions.


Why Narcissist Devalues YOU (Hint: Wants YOU "Dead")

Narcissists devalue their partners as a form of self-defense and control. There are two types of devaluation: preemptive and reactive. Preemptive devaluation occurs when a narcissist is in a transitional state between overt and covert narcissism, and they devalue potential sources of supply to prevent the overt side from using them against the covert side. Reactive devaluation is a response to a perceived threat to the narcissist's grandiosity or control. Both types of devaluation are harmful to the victim and serve to maintain the narcissist's sense of power and control.


Narcissist as Eternal Child

Narcissists often refuse to grow up and remain in a state of infantilization, avoiding adult responsibilities and functions. This is because remaining a child caters to their narcissistic needs and defenses. Narcissists are often envious of children and try to emulate them, as children are forgiven for narcissistic traits and behaviors that adults are not. By remaining a child, the narcissist can indulge in these behaviors and not be punished for them.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Narcissist's Language as Weapon

Narcissists use language as a weapon of self-defense, to obscure, not to communicate, and to obtain narcissistic supply. They talk at others or lecture them, exchange subtexts, and spawn private languages, prejudices, superstitions, conspiracy theories, rumors, phobias, and hysterias. The rules that govern the narcissist universe are loopholeed, incomprehensible, open to interpretation so wide and so self-contradictory that it renders them meaningless. The narcissist, in this respect, is a great social menace, undermining language itself.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
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