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Narcissist's Beloved Paranoia

Uploaded 7/7/2011, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

I am the author of Cold Therapy.

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Cold Therapy.

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Cold Therapy.

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Cold Therapy.

My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Cold Therapy.

My name is Sam Vaknin. And in cutting-edge with med I and in they are there to force him to abstain and refrain from certain actions which endanger them or their interests.

The narcissist feels that he is at the center of intrigues and conspiracies of colossal worldwide magnitudes. Alternatively, the narcissist feels victimized by mediocre bureaucrats and intellectual dwarves who consistently fail to appreciate his outstanding really unparalleled talents, skills and accomplishments.

Being haunted by his challenged inferiors substantiates the narcissist's comparative superiority. Driven by a pathological envy, these pygmies collude to defraud the narcissist, badger him, deny him his due, denigrate, isolate and ignore him.

The narcissist projects onto this second class of lesser persecutors his own deleterious emotions and transforms aggression. He attributes to them the very negative emotions that see the inside himself. He says that they are hateful, they are rageful, they are teeming and seething with jealousy, but actually this is exactly what is happening inside him.

The narcissist's paranoid streak is likeliest to erupt when he lacks narcissistic supply.

The regulation of his lab, in sense of self-worth is dependent upon external stimuli, adoration, adulation, affirmation, applause, notoriety, fame, infamy and in general attention of any kind. When such attention is missing, lacking, deficient, the narcissist compensates by confabulating. He constructs ungrounded narratives in which he is a protagonist and he uses these stories, these narratives, these fictions to force his human environment into complicity.

Put simply, the narcissist provokes people to pay attention to him by misbehaving or by behaving oddly or eccentrically or by claiming that he is the victim of conspiracies.

And then there's the intimacy retarding paranoia. Paranoia is used by the narcissist to ward off something he dreads, which is intimacy.

The narcissist is threatened by intimacy because it reduces him to ordinariness by exposing his weaknesses and shortcomings and by causing him to act like everyone else, normally.

The narcissist also dreads the encounter with his deep buried emotions hurt, envy, anger, aggression likely to be foisted on him in an intimate relationship.

So he seeks to reverse intimacy once it has happened or to avoid it altogether.

The paranoid narrative legitimizes intimacy repelling behaviors such as keeping one's distance, secrecy, aloofness, reclusion, aggression, intrusion on privacy, lying, desultoriness, itineracy, unpredictability, idiosyncratic or eccentric reactions. All these are fully justified when one finds himself at the center of a conspiracy or persecution.

Gradually, the narcissist succeeds to alienate and wear down all his friends, colleagues, well-wishers and mates.

Just precisely what he wanted. The narcissist wants to be left alone. Even his closest, his nearest and dearest, his family, feel emotionally detached and burned out after a certain period of time.

The paranoid narcissist ends his life as an oddball recluse, derided, feared and loathed in equal measures.

The narcissist's paranoia, exacerbated by repeated rejections and by the process of aging, pervades his entire life and diminishes his creativity, adaptability and functioning.

The narcissistic personality, buffeted by paranoia, becomes ossified and brittle.

Finally, atomized, isolated and useless, this personality succumbs and gives way to a great void. The narcissist is consumed and is no more.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.


Can You Love the Narcissist and Rescue Him?

Victims of narcissists often resort to fantasies and self-delusions to cope with their pain, believing that they can rescue the narcissist from their misery and misfortune. However, loving a narcissist is difficult, and any attempt to relate to them emotionally is doomed to failure. Narcissists are addicts in pursuit of gratification through the drug known as narcissistic supply, and they hone in on potential suppliers like cruise missiles. Victims of narcissists can become bitter and self-centered, lacking in empathy, and become more like the narcissist over time.


Do Narcissists Truly Hate?

Narcissists are often adult versions of abused children who fear intimacy and seek to provoke hatred in parents, caregivers, and authority figures. They act out antisocially and seek to destroy the source of frustration. The narcissist's hatred is not a stable experiential state, but rather a transformation of resentment and an aggressive reaction to frustration. The narcissist is heavily dependent on other people for the regulation of their sense of self-worth, and they resent this dependence.


Giving Narcissist Second Chance

Narcissists do not provide closure in relationships and will stalk, cajole, beg, promise, persuade, and ultimately succeed in doing the impossible to get you back. The narcissist will cast all interactions with you in terms of conflicts or competitions to be won. If you have resumed contact because you are manifestly dependent on the narcissist financially or emotionally, the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and exploit your fragility to the maximum. Ultimately, the narcissist will write the inevitable cycle of idealization and devaluation.


How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

Narcissists are victims of post-traumatic conditions caused by their parents, leading to ontological insecurity, dissociation, and confabulation. They have no core identity and construct their sense of self by reflecting themselves from other people. Narcissists have empathy, but it is cold empathy, which is goal-oriented and used to find vulnerabilities to obtain goals. Narcissism becomes a religion when a child is abused by their parents, particularly their mother, and not allowed to develop their own boundaries. The false self demands human sacrifice, and the narcissist must sacrifice others to the false self to gratify and satisfy it.


Can Narcissist Truly Love?

Narcissists are incapable of true love, but they do experience some emotion which they insist is love. Narcissists love their significant others as long as they continue to provide them with attention, or narcissistic supply. There are two types of narcissistic love: one type loves others as one would get attached to objects, while the other type abhors monotony and constancy, seeking instability, chaos, upheaval, drama, and change. In the narcissist's world, mature love is nowhere to be seen, and their so-called love is fear of losing control and hatred of the very people on whom their personality depends.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Your Empathy as Narcissistic Injury: Narcissist Never Learns, No Insight

Narcissists reject empathy and intimacy because it challenges their grandiosity, and they become paranoid and aggressive when someone tries to be intimate with them. Narcissists lack empathy and access to positive emotions, leading to a truncated version of empathy called "cold empathy." Narcissists are self-aware but lack the incentive to get rid of their narcissism, and therapy is more focused on accommodating the needs of the narcissist's nearest and dearest. Cold Therapy is experimental and limited, as it removes the false self but does not develop empathy or improve the narcissist's interpersonal relationships.


Narcissist in Court and Litigation

Narcissists are skilled at distorting reality and presenting plausible alternative scenarios, making it difficult to expose their lies in court. However, it is possible to break a narcissist by finding their weak spots and using them to inflict pain. The narcissist is likely to react with rage to any statement that contradicts their inflated perception of themselves or suggests they are not special. They feel entitled to be treated differently from others and cannot tolerate criticism or being told they are not as intelligent or successful as they think they are.


Paranoia, Narcissistic Mirroring, and Narcissistic Reflection

Narcissists tend to react with paranoia when they feel threatened, but these attacks tend to fade and the narcissist frequently homes in on new agents of persecution. The narcissist's paranoia is a grandiose fantasy aimed to regulate their sense of self-worth. The narcissist's partner tends to encourage their paranoid or threatening attention, and this is a game of two. Living with a narcissist can tilt one's mind toward abnormal reactions, and even after separation, the narcissist's partners typically still care for the narcissist greatly.

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