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Narcissist Hates His Fans, Followers, and Admirers

Uploaded 7/27/2013, approx. 2 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

The narcissist depends for narcissistic supply on his coterie of fans, followers, and admirers, but he resents this addictive dependence, and he resents himself for being so frail and impotent.

It negates his self-delusional grandiose fantasy of omnipotence.

To compensate for this shameful neediness, the narcissist holds his psychophantic acolytes in contempt. He finds his fans, admirers, and followers repulsive, and he holds them to be inferior to him.

He sees himself reflected in their presumptuousness and in their sense of entitlement, and he resents this constant and tawdry reminder of who he really is.

Fans often claim to possess inside information about their idol, and to have special rights to privilege access simply because of by virtue of their unbridled adulation and time-tested loyalty.

But the narcissist, not being a mere mortal, believes himself to be beyond human comprehension, and refuses to render anyone special by granting him or her concessions tonight to others.

Being special is the exclusive prerogative of the narcissist.

His followers conduct implies a certain egalitarian camaraderie, which the narcissist finds abhorrent, humiliating, and infuriating.

No one can be the narcissist's real and true friend because no one is equal to him.

Groupies and hangers-on somehow fancy themselves entitled to the narcissist's favor and lodges his time, attention, and other resources.

They convince themselves that they are exempt from the narcissist's rage and wrath, and immune to his vagaries and abuse.

This self-imputed and self-conferred status irritates the narcissist no end, as he challenges and encroaches on his tending as the only source of preferential treatment and the sole decision-maker when it comes to the allocation of his precious and cosmically significant wherewithal.

The narcissist is a guru, at the center of a cult, and like other gurus he demands complete obedience from his flock, his spouse, his offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues.

If he is entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers, he punishes the wayward and the straying lambs.

He enforces discipline, adherence to his teachings, and common goals.

The less accomplished he really is, the more stringent his mastery and the more pervasive the brainwashing.

Cult leaders are narcissists who failed in their mission to be someone, become famous and to impress the world with their uniqueness, talents, traits, and skills.

Such disgruntled narcissists withdraw into a zone of comfort known as the pathological narcissistic space, and this zone assumes the whole marks of a cult.

But even as cult leaders, even as gurus, even as the center of attention, they realize deep inside their fraudulence and their failure, and they resent everyone around them, and especially their friends and their admirers and their followers, for witnessing this painful truth.

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Narcissist Re-idealizes Discarded Sources of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists maintain discarded sources of supply in a mental reserve and may seek them out when other options are unavailable, attempting to recycle these sources for validation. To reconnect with a devalued source, they must re-idealize it without admitting past mistakes, creating a narrative that reconciles their previous devaluation with the new idealized view. Old sources of supply should remain indifferent to the narcissist's attempts to reconnect, as this indifference is intolerable to them and deprives them of the attention they crave. Ultimately, narcissists view everyone as potential sources of supply, even enemies, as any emotional response, positive or negative, serves to validate their existence.


Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.


Narcissist's Cult

Narcissists are like cult leaders who demand complete obedience and adulation from their followers. They impose a shared psychosis on their members, control every aspect of their lives, and punish severely those who fail to conform to their wishes. Narcissists act in a patronizing and condescending manner, criticize often, and expect constant attention and admiration. They are inflexible, intolerant of criticism, and demand complete trust and control over decision-making. Narcissists are always on the lookout for new recruits and feel entitled to special amenities and benefits not accorded to others.


So, Is My Narcissist a Covert Narcissist? Nonsense vs. Scholarship

Covert narcissists are individuals who suffer from an in-depth sense of inferiority, have a marked propensity towards feeling ashamed, and are shy and fragile. They are unable to genuinely depend on others or trust them, suffer from chronic envy of others, and have a lack of regard for generational boundaries. Covert narcissists are not goal-orientated, have shallow vocational commitment, and are forgetful of details, especially names. Inverted narcissists are a subspecies of covert narcissism and are self-centered, sensitive, vulnerable, and defensive, sometimes hostile and paranoid.


Narcissist Hates Happy People and Holidays

Holidays and birthdays are a difficult time for narcissists, as they provoke a stream of pathological envy. The narcissist is jealous of others for having a family, being able to celebrate lavishly, or being in the right mood. They hate humans because they are unable to be one and want to spoil it for those who can enjoy. Holidays remind the narcissist of their childhood, the supportive and loving family they never had, and what could have been.


Remain Friends with the Narcissist?

Narcissists are only friendly when they need something from you, such as narcissistic supply, help, support, votes, money, or sex. They also become friendly when they feel threatened and want to smother the threat with pleasantries. Narcissists are also over-friendly when they have just been infused with an overdose of narcissistic supply. Some people prefer to live with narcissists because they have been conditioned to treat narcissistic abuse as background noise and are compensated for the abuse by the thrills provided by living with a narcissist. However, inverted narcissists are typically unhappy and in need of help, which suggests that they are victims who experience the Stockholm Syndrome.


Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey!

Narcissists have the ability to see through other people's emotional shields and know when they are deviating from the truth. They can intuitively grasp other people's self-interested goals and accurately predict their strategies and tactics. Narcissists can't stand self-important, self-inflated, pompous, vigorous, self-righteous, sanctimonious, and hypocritical people because they recognize themselves in them. They expose people's vulnerabilities and force them to confront their true selves, their dead-end careers, their mundane lives, the death of their hopes and dreams and wishes, their shattered illusions.


You! Be GRATEFUL, HONORED That Narcissist Lets You Serve, Witness Him (Sacrificial Entitlement)

Narcissists possess a sense of sacrificial entitlement, believing that their mere existence bestows a privilege upon others to be in their presence. They view themselves as godlike figures, deserving of admiration and special treatment without the need for personal investment or commitment. This mindset combines grandiosity with victimhood, as they perceive their relationships as sacrifices made for the benefit of others, while simultaneously demanding gratitude and obedience in return. Ultimately, when relationships end, narcissists often interpret this as a profound act of ingratitude, failing to recognize the harm they have caused to their partners.


"Spiritual" Narcissist Casts Narrative Spell on YOU (with Dr. Lisa Alastuey)

Spiritual narcissism is characterized by individuals who present themselves as intermediaries with a higher authority, claiming exclusive access to wisdom or knowledge that others cannot attain without their guidance. This phenomenon often manifests in various roles, such as therapists, clergy, or healers, who create a power dynamic that positions them as superior to their followers. The motivations behind spiritual narcissism primarily revolve around the need for narcissistic supply, which includes attention, adulation, and a sense of self-importance, rather than a genuine desire for power or money. Ultimately, spiritual narcissism can be harmful, as it leads to manipulation and the erosion of individual autonomy, making it crucial for individuals to cultivate their own narratives and meanings in life.


Negative, Fake, Low-grade Narcissistic Supply

Normal individuals seek a balanced amount of attention, while narcissists are insatiable, constantly craving affirmation to sustain their self-worth. They create a false self, projecting an idealized version of themselves to elicit reactions from others, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. Even negative attention can serve as supply for narcissists, as they prioritize any form of attention over being ignored, manipulating others to maintain their focus. Ultimately, the narcissist's existence revolves around this relentless pursuit of attention, which is intertwined with their internal struggles and feelings of worthlessness.

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