Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey!

Uploaded 10/30/2014, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Narcissists are cursed, or perhaps blessed, with mental x-ray vision. Narcissists see through other people's emotional shields, through their petty lives, their pitiable defenses, and their grandiose fantasies.

The narcissist knows when people deviate from the truth and exactly by how much. Narcissists intuitively grasp other people's self-interested goals and accurately predict the strategy and tactics these people will adopt in order to achieve them.

In truth, narcissists cannot stand self-important, self-inflated, pompous, vigorous, self-righteous, sanctimonious and hypocritical people. They rage at the inefficient, the lazy, the hapless and the weak.

But why?

Perhaps it is because the narcissist recognizes himself in this kind of people. He tries to break the painful reflection of his own flaws and shortcomings in theirs.

The narcissist hones in on the chinks in the laboriously constructed armors of others. He spots their Achilles' heel and attaches to it. He pricks the gas bags that most people are.

The narcissist deflates people. He forces them to confront their filletness and helplessness and mediocrity. He negates their sense of uniqueness. He reduces them to proportion, to size, and he provides them with perspective.

The narcissist does all these things cruelly and abrasively and sadistically and lethally efficiently. He has no compassion. He has no empathy. He prays on other people's vulnerabilities, however microscopic, however well-conceived, however painful. He exposes their double talk.

Then he rides the double standards. He refuses to play the games of prestige and status and hierarchy that everyone else plays. He draws people out of their shelters. He destabilizes them, deconstructs their narratives, their myths and superstitions, their hidden assumptions, their polluted language.

He is in your face and he is always there. He forces people to react and by reacting to confront their true, dilapidated selves, their dead-end careers, their mundane lives, the death of their hopes and dreams and wishes, their shattered illusions.

And all the time, the narcissist observes people with the passionate hatred of the outcast that they dispossessed in the outsider.

So, the narcissist outs the truths that people are trying so desperately to conceal, especially from themselves.

The facts denied so ugly and uncomfortable are these raw materials. Those things that never get mentioned in proper company, the politically incorrect, the personally hurtful, the dark, ignored and hidden secrets, the tumbling skeletons, the taboos, the fears, the atavistic urges, the pretensions, the social lies, the distorted narratives of life, piercing, bloodied and ruthless.

These are the narcissists' hallmarks of revenge, the settling of the scores, the levelling of the battlefield.

The narcissist lances these boils, high, the mighty, the successful and the happy people, those who possess what the narcissist believes that he deserves, entitled to and never had, the object of his green-eyed monster.

The narcissist envies and in his envy, he seeks to inconvenience people, to make them think, to reflect on their own misery and wallow in his rancid outcomes.

The narcissist coerces people to confront the zombie state, their own sadism, their unforgivable deeds and unforgettable omissions. He dredges the sewer that is other people's minds, forced into the circus, long-repressed emotions, oft-suppressed pains, their nightmares and their fears.

Yes, the narcissist is Halloween. And he pretends to do all this selflessly for their own good, tough love, as it were. Preaches, any hectors, any pours forth vitriolic diaphragms and he exposes and imposes and he rides and foams in the proverbial mouth.

And all this for the greater good. He presents himself as righteous, true, geared to help, meritorious. His motives are unassailable. He is always so chillingly risen, so algorithmically precise. He is a frozen vat. He plays the alien game of other people by their very own rules.

But he is so foreign to humanity. He is so foreign, so alien, that he is truly unbeatable.

Only they do not realize it yet. People, they don't understand.

The predator is in their midst, and there is no escape.

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Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists sometimes feel bad and experience depressive episodes and dysphoric moods, but they have a diminished capacity to empathize and rarely feel sorry for what they have done or for their victims. They often project their own emotions and actions onto others and attribute to others what they hate in themselves. When confronted with major crises, the narcissist experiences real excruciating pain, but this is only a fleeting moment, and they recover their former self and embark on a new hunt for narcissistic supply. They are hunters, predators, and their victims are prey.

The Signs of the Narcissist

Narcissists are difficult to spot, but there are subtle signs that can be picked up on, such as entitlement markers, idealization and devaluation, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often perceived as anti-social and are unable to secure the sympathy of others. They are also prone to projecting a false self and using primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, projective identification, and intellectualization.

Narcissistic Humiliation and Injury

Narcissists react to humiliation in the same way as normal people, only more so. They are regularly and strongly humiliated by things that normally do not constitute a humiliation. The emotional life of the narcissist is tinted by ubiquitous and recurrent insults, humiliations, and slights. The narcissist is constantly on the defensive, constantly being targeted, and is a kind of paranoid.

How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

Narcissists are victims of post-traumatic conditions caused by their parents, leading to ontological insecurity, dissociation, and confabulation. They have no core identity and construct their sense of self by reflecting themselves from other people. Narcissists have empathy, but it is cold empathy, which is goal-oriented and used to find vulnerabilities to obtain goals. Narcissism becomes a religion when a child is abused by their parents, particularly their mother, and not allowed to develop their own boundaries. The false self demands human sacrifice, and the narcissist must sacrifice others to the false self to gratify and satisfy it.

Narcissists Rule: Narcissist in Positions of Authority

Narcissists are incapable of empathizing and view humans as only a means to supply them with narcissistic supply. They are prone to emotional extortion, blackmail, abuse, and misuse of authority to secure their supply. Narcissists lack a moral dimension and are atavistically responsive to fear, resembling an alien on drugs.

Narcissist: Your Pain is his Healing, Your Crucifixion - His Resurrection

Narcissists need their victims to suffer to regulate their own emotions and feel a sense of control. They keep a mental ledger of positive and negative behaviors, with negative behaviors weighing more heavily. Narcissists need counterfactual statements to maintain their delusion of being special and superior. The grandiosity gap is the major vulnerability of the narcissist, and they are often in denial about their limitations and failures.

Narcissist's Immunity

Narcissists possess magical thinking and narcissistic immunity, which is the erroneous feeling that they are immune to the consequences of their actions. The sources of this fantastic misappraisal of situations and chains of events are the false self, a sense of entitlement, the narcissist's ability to manipulate their human environment, and the narcissist's inability to empathize. Narcissists are convinced of a great, inevitable personal destiny and are pathologically envious of people, projecting their aggression onto them. When required to account for their misdeeds, the narcissist is always distainful, bitter, and resentful.

How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.

Narcissist Has No Friends

Narcissists treat their friends like Watson and Hastings, who are obsequious and unthreatening, and provide them with an adulating gallery. Narcissists cannot empathize or love, and therefore have no real friends. They are interested in securing narcissistic supply from narcissistic supply sources. The narcissist overvalues people when they are judged to be potential sources of supply, and devalues them when no longer able to supply him, ultimately leading to the alienation and distancing of people.

Your Empathy as Narcissistic Injury: Narcissist Never Learns, No Insight

Narcissists reject empathy and intimacy because it challenges their grandiosity, and they become paranoid and aggressive when someone tries to be intimate with them. Narcissists lack empathy and access to positive emotions, leading to a truncated version of empathy called "cold empathy." Narcissists are self-aware but lack the incentive to get rid of their narcissism, and therapy is more focused on accommodating the needs of the narcissist's nearest and dearest. Cold Therapy is experimental and limited, as it removes the false self but does not develop empathy or improve the narcissist's interpersonal relationships.

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