Background

Narcissist: My Gut Instinct Rules, My Intuition is FACT!

Uploaded 4/19/2024, approx. 10 minute read

All of us have guts, but all of us have gut instinct, aka intuition.

The difference between healthy and normal people and the narcissist who is not healthy and not normal, the difference is that the narcissist perceives his intuition as coming from the outside.

He misperceives it as objective, as a fact, as a feature of the universe, part of the fabric of reality.

He therefore tends to trust his intuition the way healthy, normal people trust science.

Welcome to a tour of the narcissist tortured wannabe self by who else?

Sam Wachlin, author of Malignant Self-Love Narcissism, revisited a former visiting professor of psychology and currently on the faculty of CEAPs, Commonwealth Institute for Advanced Professional Studies, Cambridge, United Kingdom, Toronto, Canada, and an outreach campus in Lagos, Nigeria, where else?

The narcissist perceives himself as infallible, never makes mistakes, is never wrong, never gets things in an inappropriate manner, is always right, similar to another entity known as the Pope.

The narcissist believes, convinced firmly that he is omniscient or knowing.

Because he is omniscient, he doesn't need to acquire knowledge, information, data, learning from the outside, it's all inside him.

He regards himself as a kind of encyclopedia of flesh and blood, everything incorporated inside his mind.

There's no need to access the outside, there's no need to resort to other people.

Knowledge, as far as a narcissist is concerned, emanates only from his insight.

Knowledge is only internal, never external.

Intuition, confabulation, they are forms of information, they're objective, they're neutral, they're factual, they're scientific.

When the narcissist confabulates, tries to bridge memory gaps with invented concocted narratives, he immediately tends to believe that the confabulation is real.

That's why he defends it ferociously, against any challenge.

That's why he rejects any evidence, any data, any information that are countervading, that undermine the confabulation, that somehow challenge the grandiose narrative, his self-perception or his self-image.

The narcissist also bestows the same ontological status on his intuition.

That was a mouthful, wasn't it?

Ten dollar words.

He bestows an ontological status means he regards his intuition as referring to the outside.

The referent of the intuition is external, rather than to the inside.

So the narcissist doesn't need the outside, he doesn't need the environment, he doesn't need other people, he doesn't need to study, he doesn't need to invest, he doesn't need any of this.

He knows everything already.

Another problem is the narcissist's inability to perceive objects as external, and that includes people.

The narcissist converts external objects into internal objects.

He has something that I call failed othering, he is unable to perceive others.

He immediately converts them into figments of his imagination, nascents in his narrative, partners in his shared fantasy, avatars, introjects, voices in his mind, and so on.

It's all internal, never external.

Therefore the narcissist is unable to discern, let alone partake of information that is coming from outside sources because he doesn't recognize the externality and separateness of outside objects, external objects.

Simply he has no capacity to learn from others because there are no others.

Of course this supports and buttresses his magical thinking.

The narcissist believes himself to be godlike, convince himself that he is godlike.

That is the essence of the false self.

It's a deity, it's a divinity, it's a monarch that requires constant sacrifices, the narcissist's sacrifice and other people's sacrifices known as narcissistic supply.

But this of course generates and engenders a kind of magical thinking.

If you are godlike then you are the creator of your own universe, your cognitions, your emotions and above all your intuition, your confabulations, they are all real because you are the maker and the source of reality.

Not only are you the maker and the source, you are the only maker and the exclusive source of reality.

You are the progenitor of everyone and everything around you.

So everything that crosses your mind, everything that every internal process is immediately perceived as out there, objective.

The narcissist in other words externalizes his internal processes.

The irony is that the narcissist perceives real external objects as internal and he perceives many internal processes as factual, fact-based, evidence-based, realistic, defining reality itself, making it happen.

That is of course magical thinking but it's also a basic element, basic ingredient and component of psychosis.

It's known as hyperreflexivity.

That's one of the reasons that Otto Könberg suggested that borderlines and narcissists, which he regarded as one, are not very far from psychosis.

They are on the border of psychosis and neurosis, hence borderline.

Information from the outside as far as the narcissist is concerned is suspect. It is suspect because people are either stupid, the narcissist is the cleverest of them all, the smartest man or woman in the room, always superior, always supreme.

Other people are inferior. They are without, they are dumb, they are stupid, they are incapable, they are illiterate, they are this and that.

So they are not trustworthy as sources of knowledge and information or they are malevolent, they are malicious, they conspire against him, they hate him, they envy him and of course they cannot be trusted as sources of information, data and judgement and knowledge.

Consequently because a narcissist divides all of humanity into those who are inferior to him, which is the vast majority and those who conspire against him hatefully and enviously, which is a minority but still, because all of humanity is implicated in these twin narratives, he cannot trust anyone as a source of information or knowledge.

He cannot even trust things like books or encyclopedias because he always assumes a form of paranoid ideation. He always assumes that something is amiss, something has been compromised, everyone is corrupt or everyone is stupid and doesn't realise what he does.

The narcissist places himself in the position of an all-seeing, all-discerning observer. He's like the ultimate observer. The ultimate observer is of course God and God creates the universe by observing it, the basic tenet in the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics.

So because this is the situation, because there's no benefit in opening yourself up to information from the outside, the outside is compromised, it's corrupt, it's decrepit, it's malicious, it's stupid.

So the narcissist thinks there's no point in being open-minded and being available to learn.

The narcissist therefore lacks curiosity. He is not curious about other people or their lives except when they can fulfil some goal, help him to fulfil some goal, accomplish something or serve him in some way.

The famous 4S is sex, supply, sadistic, supply, narcissistic, safety and services.

The narcissist is interested in other people only when he can convert them into an internal object and then co-opt the internal object to participate in some internal process such as the shared fantasy.

Otherwise he is totally uninterested. He could spend years with an ostensible alleged best friend and never bother to ask, "How are you? What's happening in your life? How things are going?" He could be married to someone and be utterly uninterested in her whereabouts, in her friendships, in her family and so on and so forth.

So there's a lack of curiosity, of course. If the aim is to isolate your intimate partner from her social network, the narcissist would be interested in the social network. Everything is goal-oriented. Every acquisition of information is leveraged to accomplish something, usually converting someone into a piece of fiction, into an element or ingredient in a narrative, denuding them of life, deanimating them, if not degrading them. It's all very antisocial in this respect. It is reminiscent of psychopathy. I call it constricted curiosity. It's curiosity that is awakened and aroused and triggered only when there is a goal in mind and otherwise is dormant or non-existent. There's no learning in narcissism.

I have several videos dedicated to this issue. I'll try to find them and put links in the description.

There's no learning. Narcissists never learn for the reasons that I've just mentioned. They don't need to learn. They know everything already.

So all they have to do is combinatorics, permutations of what they already know. They deal in syllogisms, deductions. They play logical games. This is called internal rhetoric.

The various constructs in the narcissist's personality dialogue with each other. This dialogue passes, as far as a narcissist is concerned, for a scientific theory based on facts and evidence. He objectifies his internal processes. He renders them objective, objectific, or whatever it is. The narcissist believes that his knowledge is infinite and utterly precise. As I said, he's never wrong. He never commits errors. He never gets anything inappropriately. He's always right. He has infinite knowledge to draw on, and it's all internalized already. He was born with it as far as he's concerned.

So I learned. However, in an attempt to cope with the environment, with other people, with demands, with exigencies, vicissitudes, events, crises, you name it, in an attempt to survive somehow, the narcissist does combine, does kind of play around with elements of his ostensibly infinite knowledge in order to create new knowledge.

But it's all, all, all internal. It's nothing external, nor does the narcissist compare the outcomes of his intuition and of his deductions and of his logical games and of his syllogism.

He doesn't compare any of the conclusions that he draws with reality. He doesn't allow reality to serve as a gauge or a check on his internal, on the internal outcomes of his cognition. His cognition is supreme. It supersedes reality.

Einstein was once asked, what if results of the experiment show that the sun doesn't behave as you had predicted? And Einstein answered, well, in this case, the sun, the sun is a problem. I'm not implying that Einstein was a narcissist, although actually he was, but I'm just saying this is how the narcissist thinks.

If reality does not conform to his deductions and conclusions, then reality has a problem, not the narcissist. The problem is out there.

Impaired reality testing is the outcome, of course. When you consider yourself a higher source of authority than the universe, than facts, than evidence, than science, than reality, then you can't judge or gauge reality properly. You have an impaired reality testing. You have to reframe all data and all informations to conform to your own cognitive distortions and biases in order to avoid dissonance.

And this is what I call internal or internalized confirmation bias.

The narcissist absorbs, does not absorb information from the outside. He simply rearranges reality internally so that there is no contradiction, no mutual exclusions and no dissonance. The narcissist knows best and he's always right and he does not need to learn anything. Therefore, other people are an utter waste of time. He's not curious except about himself. He is not invested except in his own internal processes. He does not develop new knowledge except if it's based on what he already thinks he knows. And he regards himself as comprehensive, all uncompressive, all pervasive, total, in short, God. ###

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

YOUR LOVE, Intimacy FEARED: Narcissist’s Perfectionism, Envy

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist's hatred towards others and how it is linked to perfectionism. The narcissist's fear of failure drives them to be perfect, and they believe they are infallible. The narcissist idealizes only internal objects and internalizes external objects to eliminate competition. In this section, Professor Sam Vaknin explains that the narcissist believes they are the only good object in the world and that they have internalized this object. Therefore, they do not need to envy anyone else. The narcissist becomes immune to envy and talks to their envy, telling it not to direct itself at them because they are the good object.


Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists use code and a cipher to manipulate others, including various techniques such as counterfactuality, victim language, projection, gaslighting, and passive aggression. He advises ignoring the hidden message and not responding to the occult message when communicating with a narcissist. He also discusses the evasiveness of narcissists and psychopaths, their competitive nature, and their use of alloplastic defenses to shift blame and deny responsibility for their actions. Finally, he explains that mentally ill people cannot be reasoned with, and their speech acts and decisions need to be deconstructed.


Push Narcissist’s 4 Secret Buttons: Gamma Man or Agent of Chaos, Madness?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the four secret buttons of the narcissist, which are the operating system of the narcissist's internal landscape. He explains how to push these buttons to manipulate or detach from a narcissist. Additionally, he delves into the debate about IQ tests and their limitations, and discusses the concept of gamma males in the social sexual hierarchy. He also explores the discomfort and chaos that narcissists bring into relationships.


Communal Narcissist ( Prosocial Giver) Altruistic Pleaser Or Controlling Sadist

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of communal or prosocial narcissists who use giving to enhance their sense of omnipotence and contempt for others. Narcissists give to exert control and maintain dependence in their beneficiaries, and their giving is conditional and comes with strings attached. Narcissists use charm and money to manipulate and control others, often engaging in co-dependency with their victims. All of these coping strategies involve dishonesty, manipulation, fostering dependence, infantilization, and self-sacrifice.


Why Narcissist Can't Hear YOU, Understand What You Are Saying To Him

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons behind a narcissist's inability to listen, understand, and comprehend others. He delves into the narcissist's self-deception, grandiosity, and the impact on their perception of reality. The narcissist's internal speech overrides external stimuli, leading to selective auditory attention, retention, and perception. The text also covers the concept of framing and emphasizes the unconscious nature of the narcissist's behaviors.


Narcissist: Confabulations, Lies

Confabulation is a common human trait, but the distinction between reality and fantasy is never lost. However, the narcissist's very self is a piece of fiction, concocted to fend off hurt and pain and to nurture the narcissist's grandiosity. The narcissist fails in his reality test and is unable to distinguish the actual from the imagined, the real from the fantasized. The narcissist's countenance, no disagreement, no alternative points of view, no criticism. To him, his confabulation is reality.


SECRET Reason Narcissist Devalues, Discards YOU

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the mysterious behavior of narcissists, including devaluation, discard, and replacement. He explains that narcissists recreate the dynamics of their early childhood conflicts with their mothers through their intimate partners, aiming to achieve successful separation and individuation. The narcissist devalues and discards their partner as a way to separate from them, and this process is not the partner's fault. Vaknin also discusses how urbanization and the rise of cities have contributed to the increase in narcissism, and he predicts that the transition from cities to the metaverse will lead to a shift from narcissism to psychopathy.


Narcissist: You Should Read My Mind!

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist's belief that others should be able to read their mind. He explains that narcissists expect mind reading due to their view of others as maternal figures and their desire for symbiosis. He delves into the narcissist's internal world, including their need for extensionality and intentionality of external objects. Vaknin also explores the impact of failing to read the narcissist's mind on their perception of external objects and their own existence. He emphasizes the deep-rooted nature of narcissistic behaviors and the challenges in understanding and working with narcissists.


Why Narcissist Never Listens to YOU? (Hint: Because he CAN’T: Attentional Narrowing)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of attentional narrowing and hyper focus in narcissism. He explains that narcissists suffer from dissociation, memory gaps, and amnesia, which are not fully explained by dissociation. Attentional narrowing is a serious problem for narcissists, as their attention is focused on obtaining narcissistic supply and maintaining grandiosity, leading to a lack of attention for others and the environment. Hyper focus and attentional narrowing are also observed in other mental health conditions such as ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, and psychopathy. These phenomena are associated with heightened emotional arousal and a drive to withdraw from negative emotions. The lecture emphasizes the negative impact of attentional narrowing on self-control and the ability to focus on relevant information.


Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

Narcissistic mortification is a challenge to the false self, which crumbles and is unable to maintain defenses and pretensions. Narcissists use two strategies to restore some cohesiveness to the self: deflated and inflated narcissist. Narcissists engage in mortification, a form of self-mutilation, to feel alive and free from commitment to their false self. Narcissists seek out borderline women to mortify them and experience the unresolved primary conflict with their mother.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy