I do not know whatbrand I am. I have been travelling for 10 years and a decade according to an ialized Like with everything else, there are numerous myths about pedophiles.
First of all, it is not true that pedophiles are attracted only to children.
A majority of pedophiles are heterosexual and a majority of them have families and children of their own. And they are attracted to opposite sex, actually and actively attracted to opposite sex. That's the majority. Majority, 20 percent of population have constant pedophile fantasies. It's not rare.
Majority of fathers are sexually attracted to their teenage daughters. It's also a fact.
I said before, anything can be a sexual object. Your daughter could be a sexual object. Why not? She's young, she's beautiful, she's, you know, she's newborn, she's sexy. It's no problem in principle for a father to be attracted, sexually attracted to his daughter. I would have found it actually very disturbing if a man with all the equipment would not be attracted to a young female, just because technically he's her father. That would for me indicate some serious sexual disturbance.
The question therefore is not in the urges and the drives.
As Freud said, in the id, as he called it, we have numerous drives and numerous urges which are not acceptable in society, damaging to others, harmful.
And it is our role via the ego and so on to control these drives, to moderate them, to modify them, to sublimate them. This is one of them.
The drive to have sex with children is ancient and until extremely recently codified in the law. In Britain, until 160 years ago in Britain, the legal age for marriage for a woman was 10 years old, 10. In Yemen until a few years ago was 12. Afghanistan was 12 and so on.
This is culture dependent. In the vast majority of the world until very recently, a woman at the age of 12 was able to conceive and the minute she had a period, she was able to conceive and was considered, you know, eligible for marriage.
The concept of childhood is very new concept.
If you read Charles Dickens, there's no mention of the word child. They used to be called young adults, young men, young women. Louisa May Alcott wrote a book. She didn't call it young children. She called it young women.
The book is about children. If you read Louisa May Alcott's book, which is now a movie, it's about children.
But she has no concept of children. She calls them young women because starting at the age of four or six, depending on the people who went to work in factories to help the father or in the fields or if they were already 12 years old, they had children.
The very concept of child is very new.
As the concept of child was invented, again, in Victorian Britain and in France this time, concept of child was invented, we started to have prohibitions on certain interactions with children.
Now, pedophilia is and should remain a crime, active pedophilia. And so we should distinguish between the act and the fantasies. Fantasies are common. They are not unique to narcissists. They are detailed. There is a sprawling industry of child pornography online because of that.
And the fantasies should not be suppressed, cannot be suppressed, cannot be fought, cannot be, on the very contrary, I think it will be counterproductive.
So what should be monitored very closely are the acts.
And this is where your next, your other question comes in.
Where's the line? Where's the line?
First of all, because of the unique structure of narcissists and psychopaths, the risk of incest is much higher with narcissists and psychopaths. And the risk of pedophilia, active pedophilia, is much higher with narcissists and psychopaths.
Because they regard the children as an extension of themselves, so they're actually having sex with themselves because they think they are actually educating the child or doing the child a favor, introducing the child to sex, because they believe that the child needs some kind of special protection because, I mean, it's endless.
Very big risk with narcissists and psychopaths.
With narcissists and psychopaths, the minute inappropriate behavior begins to show up, the kind you described with the bathroom and so on, this must be cause for serious alert.
But because it's a slippery slope, the narcissist starts by entering the shower when the child is naked, and before you know it, he's having sex with the child.
In the case of narcissists and psychopaths, there's no impulse control, no boundaries, no limits, no obedience to rules. So there you cut it the minute there is the first hint of inappropriate behavior, not with normal people.
With normal, healthy people, a conversation would do. Listen, you embarrass a child. It's not okay. A child may misunderstand what you're doing. It's okay. You can talk to healthy, normal people, no need for alarm.
But with narcissists and psychopaths, you have to aggressively defend the child. You have to aggressively protect the child and educate the child.
If father is doing this, it's not okay. You should tell father, please father, can you leave the... I mean, you should teach the child to be proactive to set the... for the child to set her or his own boundaries and enforce them and warn the child to identify warning signs.