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Narcissist's Addiction Atypical

Uploaded 4/20/2011, approx. 6 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Of a luminous literature notwithstanding, there is very little convincing empirical research about the correlation between personality traits and addictive behaviors. Substance abuse and dependence in the forms of alcoholism or drug addiction, that is only one form of recurrent and self-defeating patterns of misconduct. People are addicted to all kinds of things, gambling, shopping, the internet, reckless, life-endangering pursuits, and more.

Adrenaline junkies are all around us and abound. The connection between chronic anxiety, or histological narcissism, depression, obsessive-compulsive traits, and alcoholism and drug abuse, this connection is well-documented, well-established, and very common in clinical practice.

But not all narcissists, compulsives, depressives, and anxious people turn to the bottle or to the needle.

Frequent claims of finding a gene complex responsible for alcoholism have been consistently cast in doubt, not to say refuted.

In 1993, Berman and Noble suggested that addictive, reckless behaviors are mere emergent phenomena and may be linked to other more fundamental traits, such as novelty-seeking or risk-taking.

Psychopaths, patients with antisocial personality disorder, have both qualities in ample quantities, both novelty-seeking and risk-taking. We would expect psychopaths, therefore, to heavily abuse alcohol and drugs.

Indeed, as Lewis and Buchholz convincingly demonstrated in 1991, psychopaths do abuse drugs and alcohol in an inordinate proportion. Still, only a negligible minority of alcoholics and drug addicts are psychopaths.

In my book, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited, I have written, Pathologic Narcissism is an addiction to narcissistic supply. It is the narcissist drug of choice.

It is therefore not surprising that other addictive and reckless behaviors, alcoholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, or retro-driving piggyback on this primary dependence.

Narcissist, like all other types of addicts, derives pleasure from these exploits, but they also sustain and enhance his grandiose fantasies as unique, superior, daring, entitled, or chosen. They place him above the laws and pressures of the mundane and away from the humiliating and sobering demands of reality.

This kind of behaviors, reckless, addictive, render the narcissist the center of attention, but also place him in splendid isolation from the maddening and inferior crowd.

Such compulsory and wild pursuits provide a psychological exoskeleton. They are a substitute to quotidian existence. They afford the narcissist with an agenda, with timetables, calls, schedules, and four achievements.

The narcissist, an adrenaline junkie, feels that he is in control, alert, excited, and vital. When he engages in these behaviors, when he pathologically gambles or recklessly drives, he does not regard his condition as dependence.

The narcissist firmly believes that he is in charge of his addiction, that he can quit at will and on short notice, which of course is not true.

In our attempt to decipher the human psyche, in itself a mere construct, not an ontological entity, we have come up with two answers.

The first one is that behaviors, moods, emotions, and cognitions are wholly reducible to biochemical reactions and neural pathways in the brain. This medicalization of what it is to be human is inevitably hotly contested and disputed.

The second answer is that behaviors, moods, emotions, and cognitions can be explained and predicted by the introduction of scientific theories based on primary concepts.

Psychoanalysis is an early and now widely disregarded and discarded example of such an approach to human affairs.

So the concepts of addiction and pathological narcissism were introduced in order to account for oft-recurring amalgams of behaviors, moods, emotions, and cognitions.

Both concepts are organizing, exegetic, explanatory principles with some predictive powers. Both concepts, pathological narcissism and addiction, hark back to Calvinist and Puritan strands of Protestantism where excess and compulsion considered to be inner demons were important topics of conversation.

Yet though clearly umbilically connected, as I've demonstrated elsewhere, addictive behaviors and narcissistic defenses also differ in some critical ways.


Consider the following.

When addicts engage in addictive behaviors, they seek to change the perception of their environment.

As the alcoholic Inspector Morse says, once he had consumed his single moths, the world looks a happier place.

Drugs make things look very colored, brighter, more hopeful, and fun-filled.

In contrast, the narcissist consumes, addictively, narcissistic supply, not in order to change his external environment or his perception of his external environment, but in order to change his inner universe.

Narcissists care little about the world out there, except as an ensemble of potential and actual sources of narcissistic supply. They don't give a fig about the universe, other people, or the environment.

Narcissist's drug of choice, attention, is geared to sustain his grandiose fantasies and senses of omnipotence and omniscience.

In other words, his addiction, the narcissist's addiction, is aimed at an internal process. It is aimed at regulating his sense of self-worth by consuming narcissistic supply.

Classical addiction, the drugs, alcohol, gambling, or other compulsive behaviors, classical addiction provides the addict with an exoskeleton, an external skeleton, boundaries, rituals, timetables, in order, in an otherwise chaotically disintegrating universe.

But it's not the same for the narcissist.

Admittedly, like the addict's search for gratification, the narcissist's pursuit of narcissistic supply is frenetic, compulsive, and ever-present.

Yet, unlike the addict's behavior, the narcissist's conduct is not structured, rigid, or ritualistic. On the very contrary, it is flexible. It's very inventive and creative.

Narcissism, in other words, is an adaptive behavior, albeit one that has outlived its usefulness.

Addiction is merely self-destructive and has no adaptive value or risen or redeeming features.

Finally, at heart, all addicts are self-destructive, self-defeating, self-loathing, and even suicidal. In other words, addicts are predominantly masochists.

Narcissists, in contrast, are sadists and paranoid. They lapse into masochism only when their narcissistic supply runs hopelessly dry.

The narcissist's masochism is aimed at restoring his sense of moral superiority as a self-sacrificial victim and to prod him into a renewed effort to reassert himself and hunt for new sources of narcissistic supply.

The addict's masochism is aimed at the self-destruction of the addict.

Thus, while the addict's brand of masochism is nihilistic and suicidal, the narcissist's masochism is about self-preservation and about prodding him into further attempts and efforts to obtain narcissistic supply.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist's Cycles of Ups and Downs

Narcissists experience cyclical phases of euphoria and dysphoria, characterized by alternating periods of hyperactivity and lethargy, driven by external triggers rather than internal biochemical changes. These cycles, which differ from bipolar disorder, are influenced by the availability of narcissistic supply, leading to manic episodes filled with creativity and social engagement, followed by depressive phases marked by withdrawal and despair. To manage these fluctuations, narcissists engage in a process of hibernation to regenerate energy and strategize for acquiring narcissistic supply, often relying on secondary sources for validation during low periods. Ultimately, the narcissist's life is a tumultuous journey between these mini-cycles, reflecting their dependence on external validation and the instability of their self-esteem.


Addict Narcissists: Substance Abuse and Reckless Behaviors

Pathological narcissism is an addiction to narcissistic supply, which is the narcissist's drug of choice. Other addictive and reckless behaviors such as war-camelism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, reckless driving, and even compulsive lying, piggyback on this primary dependence on narcissistic supply. The narcissist's addictive behaviors take his mind off his inherent limitations and bridge the gap between his unrealistic expectations of life and his inflated self-image. There is no point in treating the dependence and recklessness of the narcissist without first treating the underlying personality disorder.


Depressive Narcissist

Pathological narcissism is often considered a form of depressive illness, with the life of a typical narcissist punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria, sadness, hopelessness, anhedonia, loss of the ability to feel pleasure, and clinical forms of depression. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in narcissistic supply and to the internal dynamics that these fluctuations generate. There are several types of dysphoria and depression in pathological narcissism, including loss-induced dysphoria, deficiency-induced dysphoria, self-worth dysregulation dysphoria, grandiosity gap dysphoria, and self-punishing dysphoria. Many narcissists end up delusional, schizoid, or paranoid to avoid agonizing and knowing depression.


Narcissist Loves his Disorder and Narcissistic Personality

Narcissists may modify their behavior to become more socially acceptable, but they never heal or get better because they have an emotional investment in their disorder. Narcissistic personality disorder serves two critical functions: it endows the narcissist with a sense of uniqueness and provides an alibi for their misconduct. Narcissists reject the notion that they are mentally ill or disturbed, and their disorder becomes an integral and inseparable part of their inflated self-esteem and grandiose fantasies. The narcissist is emotionally attached to their narcissistic personality disorder and loves their disorder passionately.


Narcissism as Addiction (ICABS 2019: International Conference on Addiction and Behavioral Science)

Narcissistic disorders can be reframed as a form of addiction, specifically an addiction to narcissistic supply, which includes attention and admiration. This dependence on narcissistic supply leads to reckless behaviors and other addictions, as the narcissist seeks to sustain their grandiose self-image and avoid the mundane realities of life. Unlike traditional addicts, who may have structured and ritualistic behaviors, narcissists exhibit a more flexible and inventive pursuit of their supply, often rationalizing their actions as part of their grand narrative. Ultimately, while both narcissists and addicts engage in self-destructive behaviors, the motivations and psychological underpinnings differ, with narcissists primarily seeking to regulate their self-worth through external validation.


Narcissist Never Sorry

Narcissists may occasionally feel bad and experience depressive episodes, but they have a diminished capacity for empathy and rarely feel genuine remorse for their actions. They often project their own insecurities onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging the pain they cause. While they may experience fleeting moments of regret when faced with significant crises, this is typically short-lived, as they quickly revert to their grandiose self-image and resume their predatory behavior. Ultimately, narcissists prioritize their own needs and desires, objectifying those around them without true reflection on their impact.


Why Narcissist Never Says “ I Am Sorry”

Narcissists are unable to express remorse or apologize due to a combination of factors, including a false self that shields their vulnerable true self from the consequences of their actions, a sense of entitlement that leads them to believe they are above social norms, and a lack of empathy that prevents them from understanding the impact of their behavior on others. They often manipulate their environment and project their own issues onto others, viewing themselves as victims rather than acknowledging their wrongdoing. This grandiosity and belief in their own uniqueness create a disconnect from reality, allowing them to justify their harmful actions without feeling accountable. Ultimately, while narcissists can control their behavior when necessary, they choose not to, as they prioritize their own needs and desires over the well-being of others.


Narcissist: Is He or Isn't He?

Narcissism is a spectrum of behaviors, from healthy to pathological, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual specifies nine diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A malignant narcissist is someone who has NPD and wreaks havoc on themselves and their surroundings. They feel grandiose and self-important, exaggerate accomplishments, and demand recognition as superior without commensurate achievements. They require excessive admiration, adulation, attention, and affirmation, and are interpersonally exploitative, devoid of empathy, and constantly envious of others.


Why Narcissist Happy, Depressed, Remorseful? Plus Boredom

Narcissists can experience both happiness and depression simultaneously, a phenomenon termed "affective ambivalence," which is not exclusive to them but common among various personality disorders. This internal conflict arises from their chaotic internal landscape, where multiple self-states coexist, each with its own emotions and moods. The high costs associated with their happiness, such as social isolation for the schizoid narcissist or emotional dysregulation for the borderline, often lead to feelings of regret and dissatisfaction despite moments of gratification. Regret in these individuals is irrational, as it relies on a stable core identity, which they lack due to their fragmented self-states. Ultimately, their strategies for coping with these emotional complexities are sub-optimal, leading to further dysfunction and a cycle of loss and denial.


Simple Trick: Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline

Narcissists maintain one stable aspect of their lives, referred to as an "island of stability," while the rest of their existence is chaotic and disordered, leading to misconceptions about their character. In contrast, psychopaths lack any stable elements in their lives, resulting in pervasive instability across all dimensions. There are two types of narcissists: those who create compensatory stability by stabilizing one area of their life while everything else is chaotic, and those who enhance instability by introducing chaos into all aspects of their lives when one area is disrupted. The distinction between narcissists and psychopaths lies in their emotional engagement and the presence of stability, with narcissists relying on external validation while psychopaths operate without emotional depth or continuity.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
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